I posted this on tumblr yesterday, but was being difficult (it still is but I'm more motivated and less tired) and I didn't want to deal with it. So, here's my birthday present for Ace. It took me forever to write this, it seems, and it wasn't exactly what I was planning to write in the first place, but the thing I'm planning turned into a monster of a story and I didn't want to post it just yet.

So, Happy (late, again. I'm always late) New Years!


Ace was lonely.

He'd never admit it aloud in fear that Luffy would hear him and get upset again, but nevertheless, it was true.

Walking into the bandit's hut, Ace sighed. The crocodile he had caught was dragged behind him and Ace threw it into the kitchen for one of the bandits to roast up later. It'd be a nice treat after living off of bread and rice the past few days.

Dogra looked up at Ace as the boy settled against the wooden wall, too tired from catching and then dragging the stupid crocodile back by himself to move. He would eventually, just not right now. Maybe he'd even go find Luffy, if he was really feeling up to it.

"Thank you, Ace."

Grunting, Ace let the bandits go back to chatting about the Goa Kingdom and the Celestial Dragon. His fists clenched involuntarily as he thought about the man who had shot down his brother. Closing his eyes and breathing slowly through his mouth was truly the only way to calm down before he could give into his instincts and got himself killed by hunting the bastard noble down.

"Ace."

Ace opened his eyes to find the bandits all watching, some warily, others thoughtfully, but the boy only had eyes for Dadan. She was gazing at him easily, and the raging fire in Ace's chest settled down some.

"What is it?"

Dadan snorted. "Go check on your idiot brother. Make sure he hasn't gotten himself killed."

Dusting himself off, he walked out of the hut, knowing exactly where to find Luffy. It was the same place Ace had been avoiding for some time now. He didn't say a word as he left.

Days had passed since the two brothers had received the disparaging news that left them both in shambles. And days had passed since Ace had first taken a moment to read the letter Sabo had sent before setting out to sea.

The letter was in his pocket now. He could feel the weight of it settling heavy upon him as he walked back towards Dadan's. But he wouldn't do anything about it. No matter how many times he tried, Ace just couldn't manage to tuck away the letter. And there were two reasons for that.

The first was, obviously, he didn't want to forget about the words that Sabo had taken time to write to his precious brothers, never mind the fact that they were seared into his memory by this point.

The second thing was that Luffy hadn't read it quite yet, and with the way Luffy was acting, Ace wasn't sure he ever would.

It was so damn worrying. Despite having the biggest appetite Ace had even met (yes, even bigger than Garp, the old geezer), Luffy had yet to eat more than a bowl of rice a day. And each and every night, he would cry himself to sleep. Ace was ready to punch the kid's lights out, he was done with the Luffy's behavior.

But the first and only time Ace had mentioned that, Magra had scolded him.

"Now, now, Ace. Luffy's grieving. He's trying to understand the best he can why Sabo's gone and you getting mad at him for being sad about his brother's death won't do any good. You're only going to hurt him."

The thought of hurting Luffy with his own actions had Ace stopping in his tracks. He wasn't very smart, so he wasn't all too sure why Sabo was even dead right now, but he did understand that Sabo was gone. He wasn't here to run interference between his more volatile brothers anymore, and now Ace had to make sure he didn't go too far and hurt his own little brother.

Finally, and maybe questionably—seeing as he didn't really remember the walk there—Ace made his way up to the cliff. Luffy was there, lying face down on the ground with his hat pulled down over his eyes. Probably to hide any tears.

Against all of Ace's knowledge of Luffy's character, his little brother was completely still, not making a sound, even as the waves crashed against the cliff face below and nature carried on around him. It was unnatural and, without bumbling around with boundless energy making a damned fool of himself, Ace thought that Luffy looked dead.

Ace's heart clenched at that thought, and tears pricked at his eyes. Wiping them away quickly, Ace let out a steadying breath.

Luffy wasn't dead. He was just grieving, like Magra said he was. Just trying to figure out a way to understand why his older brother was dead and gone and never coming back to him.

Feeling his chest tighten once again, Ace tried to ignore the stupid guilt threatening to bring him to tears again. He squared his shoulders. A couple steps away was his little idiot brother, and Ace as just standing here feeling sorry for himself. Now wasn't the time. Luffy needed him.

"Luffy."

The other boy didn't even so much as twitch, but Ace knew Luffy was listening, even if it didn't seem like it. Ace had so much he was aching to say to him, but he held it back, instead clutching at the pocket that held the letter from Sabo.

"Listen, Luffy," Ace started, hoping he could get this right.

He didn't want Luffy to hurt anymore. He didn't want Luffy to keep moping. He just wanted the other boy to start acting like himself, and maybe then Ace wouldn't feel so alone and guilty all of the time.

"Sabo sent us a letter," Ace said softly, earning a twitch of Luffy's hand. So he was listening. "Before he set out to sea. Before he was…killed. He sent a letter to his two brothers. The stupid idiot was worried about us being in that fire, but he knew we were alright. Guess he believed we were strong enough to stay alive or something."

Ace wasn't sure what else he should mention.

Hesitantly, he asked, "Do you want me to read it to you?"

For several long, agonizing seconds, there was no sound. No noise. Not even his own breaths, seeing as he was biting his trembling lip and holding all the oxygen back in his lungs. It was just Ace's heart beating in his ears.

A quiet, almost inaudible noise of positive affirmation had Ace letting out the air in his lungs and scrambling for the weight in his pocket.

"'Ace, Luffy, did you get hurt in the fire?'" Ace started shakily. He took a deep breath before continuing. "'I'm worried about you guys, but I know you're alright. Unfortunately for you two, by the time you get this letter, I'll already be at sea. A lot of stuff happened, but I decided to set sail before you guys. My destination is anywhere but here. I'm going to become stronger so I can be a pirate. Pirates are freer than anyone else in this world. We brothers should become pirates one of these days. Then we can meet again someday.'"

As he read, Ace felt himself becoming steadier, something inside him starting to ease. Sabo may not have lived long enough to get away from the world and to freedom, but hearing Sabo's words were always a blessing that Ace never knew he had.

At the last part, Ace stopped, knowing he should go on, but not wanting to.

"Th-There's more," Ace told Luffy, "but I don't really want to read it right now. Just…just understand that Sabo thought of you as a brother. We were all brothers and he cared…for you a lot."

Magra had said that Luffy was just trying to understand why Sabo wasn't coming back, but Ace wasn't sure. He thought that Luffy knew exactly why Sabo was gone. Despite what the bandits thought about his little brother, Luffy could be observant and smart in his own way. He could comprehend some things more than others, and Ace couldn't help but think that this was one of them.

And maybe Luffy was grieving, but Ace thought Luffy understood this whole situation just fine. Maybe even better than Ace. And maybe that was why Luffy was acting like this. Because he understood all too well what had happened to Sabo.

"I'm going to come back in a little while," Ace said, fists clenching and tears threatened to fall once more. He held them back, though. "I'll come back and I want you to talk to me. Please Luffy, just…."

He trailed off. He wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish here, but he didn't want Luffy to have to see his older brother crying. It just wasn't right.

"I'll be back, and then we'll talk," Ace choked out before backing away quickly, silent tears already streaming down his cheeks.

As soon as he judged he was far enough away from Luffy that he couldn't be heard, Ace let out a strangled sob, unable to hold it in any longer. It had been so difficult to keep up the strong front for Luffy, all while his brother was hurting.

They were both hurting, and Ace didn't know how to help either of them. Frustrated to high hell, Ace scrubbed at his face.

"Dammit. Dammit. Dammit it all," he spat out, clutching the precious letter to his chest. He didn't even have to read it to remember the last part of Sabo's words, and Ace couldn't help but cry harder.

Another thing, Ace. I wonder who's the older brother. You or me? It might be weird to have two older brothers and one little brother, but the bond we share is the greatest treasure I have. Luffy is weak and a crybaby…but he's still our little brother. Take care of him.

Ace would keep his promise. He would take care of Luffy, even if it killed him. It was his duty as an older brother, after all.