Sometimes, when The Doctor stood in a place for too long, studied something too closely, or saw something that belonged to his companion, he thought of her.
The woman with the space hair…
A smile spread across his face, one of joy and of great sadness, but mostly, he longed for her. He'd regenerated from the face his River was most familiar with, he looked older and had crazy eyebrows that he could likely take bottle tops off with, but it didn't help the longing and sorrow he felt in his, not one, but two hearts. Having two hearts didn't make it any better. It wasn't spread evenly amongst the two, if anything, it made it worse.
Sometimes, when he did sleep, he'd wake from a terrible nightmare. The terror from Weeping Angels or the Daleks or the Vashta Nerada or some other monstrous alien, stayed with him. He'd defeated them time and time again, over and over but never did it make it any easier. He tried to seem suave and collected but inside, he was scared as all hell.
He looked down at the ring he wore. A wedding ring. Yes, they were rushed and they were brought down to their knees with the universe on a downward spiral of collapse, but after everything, they were given rings. If they'd been bought, it might not've had the same sentimental value.
The old girl who was navy blue and bigger on the inside, took pieces of her own metal heart, forged by that of a star and made them. They were presented on a lever of the control room with a note:
For my Doctor and the only woman who can ever protect him.
The Doctor and River took the rings and noticed that they were engraved with Gallifreyan. The T.A.R.D.I.S., being the old romantic that she was, had taken the time and wrote: Love You Till The End Of Time. This meant more than the Doctor or River could ever explain, they'd seen the end of time on separate occasions, they'd witnessed the clock stop, the last star burn, even the last life form die.
The Doctor, sat in his now empty bed and looked down at his ring. In his mind's eye, he saw her pretty face, he ran his fingers though her crazy hair and it only felt like a dream, that he'd wake and she'd be there. She'd stir and sit with him and when she grew tired, she'd ask him to lay with her and, though he never liked such things, they'd cuddle and he'd smile. He wanted to give her everything and he almost did, including a proper good-bye, though he never liked them either.
He was thinking about her, and about himself and wondered what they might have become had she the opportunity to stay. He'd fought like hell and still, he lost and he almost never lost a battle with anyone or anything, making it all the more difficult. Yes, The Doctor was able to save her, one last run, one last time, but it didn't help the feeling he felt when his River, his wife, his love, wasn't there. She was alive, in some form or another, but she wasn't with him.
You still aren't here.
He thought of the very last night they spent together. The Singing Towers of Darillium, how they sang, and he cried, much like he was now.
It's just the wind. He told her.
Nothing is ever just the wind…she said to him. Her voice whispered in his ears. In reality, he heard the clicking and sigh of the T.A.R.D.I.S. as she tried her best to console her Doctor.
When they finished, what River referred to as some of the best food in all the galaxy, they went on their way to take in the sights. They walked along a tourist's road that had been built specifically for the restaurant, hand in hand. Eventually, they found themselves on a deserted beach were aliens equivalent to animals crowed and tweeted. The ocean spoke in a quiet voice with the sand particles sticking to their wet toes.
"Doctor, if this is the last night…"
"River, please…" he begged, he knew it was so and this was the last time he'd ever see her and it didn't get easier with her speaking it outright even if she wasn't sure that it was.
"I want you to know, that I meant what I said on the Harmony and Redemption. We, you and I never say these things, but I want you to know that I truly do love you till the end of time."
"River, I…" he began.
"Shut up." his love told him in that flirty singsong voice of her's. She pulled him closer, stood on the tips of her toes and gently caressed his lips with her's. This regeneration of The Doctor was no romantic and River used her sexuality as a weapon but this kiss was something else. Yes, they'd kissed each other numerous times, sometimes simple pecks, others of heat and passion, some of just simple reassurance, but this was none of those.
The Doctor looked up from his ring and thought about what that kiss meant. He felt he was now more alone than ever. He wanted River because she was the one he came to when he knew that he couldn't be strong enough. He'd saved planets on the brink of inhalation, civilizations from slaughtering one another, he was the person people came to when they were afraid, but it took it's toll. He was the self-proclaimed protector of the universe, but who was there to protect him? Who was there to save him from himself? Who was there to tell him he'd gone too far? Who was there to tell him he rose too high? Who was there to knock him down a few pegs with just a flick of her hair or the type of shoes she wore?
River, his River.
She was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.
In the kiss, The Doctor lost himself and indulged his wife. He pulled her closer, normally, he was uncomfortable with physical forms of affection but toward River, he never felt awkward or out of place. She wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to find a bit of slack, pulling him down to her height. Soon, they found themselves rolling around on the sand of the beach, giggling worse than a couple of teenagers. The husband of River Song found himself pinned beneath his wife and she gave him a naughty smirk.
For the night they were on that planet, twenty-four years on Earth's time, they didn't mean for it to happen, as it almost never was so. A Gallifreyan couple would normally do this in a T.A.R.D.I.S. while traveling in the Time Vortex but sometimes, spontaneity came along and unbeknownst to him, The Doctor and River conceived a child.
