Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Summary: just some pessimistic thoughts that Peyton might had made during the start of season 5…
It's hard sometimes seeing the people that meant something to you once fading away. It's hard to lose them, to let go and accept the fact that they have already forgotten all about you. It's just too hard…
I knew that one day things would change. We couldn't stay together forever, we weren't that strong. We had too many flaws, we had already made so many mistakes, hurt each other so much…Our little "clique" was falling apart only I hadn't realized it.
It happened like a month ago. We all left, followed our different paths, made our own choices. Selfish ones. Well, I would know all about them since I've made so many of my own, still counting. I must have some very bad karma.
I just still can't believe it. It hit me one day so unexpectedly when I was sitting alone just staring at that torn photo of us all. Smiling. Where did all that happiness go? All of our innocence? Our smiles? Our friendship?
I tried to remember the last time we were all together and happy. My mind went so far back as to last year's Christmas. We had gone out – just us. And just sat there at our usual café (which I've grown to disgust now), talking, laughing, planning, dreaming.
Having fun.
I used to dream with you and believe in my dreams. That they could come true. Now all I can see is the shattered pieces of them, useless fractions so tiny that I can't put them together anymore.
Not now and not ever.
And all I can ask is why? Why did I let them become so fragile? Why didn't I protect them? Why didn't you care?
Cause you didn't care and I can see it clearly now. Neither of you did. Selfish choices again. You preferred to be all nice and famous and successful but not to pay just a little bit attention to my screaming. You sacrificed me for your so-called "perfect" life. You can have it now, it's all yours.
That was your cho8ice and now it's time to make mine.
I was screaming but you were deaf to my words.
I was trying but you were blind to my efforts.
I was waiting but you were too late. And no one even showed up.
I'm done now.
Love
Peyton.
