ONce upon a time, i wanted 2 watch steven universe! They weren't showing it on TV because they NEVER show it on TV. "This sucks," I said. So I went to the family computer and looked up torrents (editor's note: if you don't know what torrents are, GOOGLE IT!). I wound up on page 666 of google before I found any good torrents. I cicked on a link and there was just on word on the website page: BLOODSTONE. I thought it was a new episode and downloaded it immediately. However, after a few minutes, the computer crashed.
I tried rebooting it. Ten hours of silence passed. Finally, it booted up. But the screen was completely black. Good thing my mom was still at work or I would have gotten in so much trouble. In the blackness on the computer there was a slight hint of a shape. The shape started to take form and it was Steven University's back. "YAY" I said, because I wanted to watch Steven Universe. However, the image froze for thirty minutes. "What the h*ck?" I said, making sure my mom and dad weren't around. All of the sudden, I heard a voice from the computer. "Don't say bad words," it said. I recognized it as Steven's voice, but it caught me off guard. It was like he was talking to me. His voice was deep and hyper realistic, and the back of his pink t-shirt said "GOD" in what looked like blood.
He turned around and looked out at the screen like he was looking at me. But his eyes were completely white and the star on his shirt had a frowny face on it written in blood. "You wouldn't download a car would you?" he said as blood dripped from his ears. Suddenly, he disappeared and was replaced with a normal looking title screen. I was upset they didn't play the theme song. I love that song. We, are the Crystal Gems….
Anyway, ignoring the virus I no doubt gave the computer, the screen said in all caps BLOODSTOEN. "Neat!" I said, thinking it was a new Crystal Gem. My favorite is Garnet. The episode began with a 3 hour establishing shot of Steven's house. Season 4 was super weird, and I didn't like it as much. Season 1 was my favorite. Perl walked out of the house and screamed for 4 minutes. Things seemed more normal, but she was screaming in an ancietn language i didn't understand, like Russian or soemthing. RThen the camera turned around to show Amethyst and GErnat dead on the beach. Tehy were covered in blood. Gem blood. It was like human blood, but glittery like the water when the sun hits it at high tide.
Steven walked on screen, holding his sword, which was covered in blood. He stared directly into the camera for five years, unblinking. Finally, he opened his mouth. "EVEN NOW THE EVIL SEED OF WHAT YOU'VE DONE GERMINATES WITHIN YOU"
I started to get the feeling something was wrong. "Steven why?" said Paerl, he nose bleeding for some reason.
He slowly turned his head to face her. "Not Steven…" he said in a voice. "Blood...Stoen..."
Suddenly, the video cut out and the computer set on fire. "Holy crap," I saidm like |B|eter from Family Guy.
"What did I say about cursing?" I heard a voice say behind me. I spun around, and there was my mom. "And what the fuck happened to the computer?"
"Mom," I said, "it's a looooong story."
THE END (?)
