Disclaimer: The people who actually own 'Castle' are working hard to give us a great Season 6. I'm just sitting here glad that the show will be back in less than a month. This is my first 'Castle' hiatus, and it's been rough!


The lights. Not for the first time (or even the twentieth), Kate wondered if she'd ever get used to all the lights. The closest she'd come to seeing so many flashing flights was watching teams work a crime scene, taking dozens of photographs. But that still hadn't prepared her for this – for random, reckless flashes from every angle imaginable, capturing every flaw, highlighting every unflattering aspect, zoning in on every hair out of place.

She resisted the impulse to reach up and tuck an errant lock behind one ear. Doing so might make her look nervous, and besides, she was going for the tousled look tonight; not too sleek, to help 'balance out' her baby bump – as if such a thing were possible.

Pregnancy was strange, Kate thought to herself. People either talked to her belly and ignored her face; or made studied attempts to look anywhere but her belly. And in their faces, Kate, ever sensitive to the nuances of human expressions, could always see the mix of curiosity and unease, the almost-reluctant fascination, the unvoiced questions in their eyes – questions like:

*Why would a tough, accomplished cop get pregnant at such a promising point in her career, right when she was rumored to be lined up for a prestigious position in an elite investigative unit?

*Whoa, that bump is huge... just how many kids are in there?

*Damn, she's never going to get that body back after she gives birth, is she?

*She looks like she's about to pop... she's not going to go into labor today, is she?

*Mmm, why are pregnant women so sexy?

*I wonder what position she and Castle like to do it in...

Kate shuddered involuntarily. She could only imagine what people were thinking when they stared at her bump, but she was pretty sure that more than half the time, it was inappropriate, intrusive, or both.


And then there were the people who did give voice to their questions – usually 'The Good Moms' as she had come to refer to them in her head – the sweet-faced, charming, dedicated mothers she often met during visits to the doctor's office and quick trips to the store. They thought her massive belly was adorable! cute! darling!

They cooed over it, spoke to it, patted it, almost stroked it sometimes. They asked well-meaning questions, and she smiled politely and gave them suitably vague, politically correct answers, while simultaneously giving much more frank answers in her head.

They wanted to know:

*how far along she was (spoken answer: not long to go now; mental answer: 36 weeks and counting every second),

*when she was due (spoken answer: soon; mental answer: not soon enough!),

*whether she knew the sex yet (yes, but they were keeping it close to their chests),

*whether it was her first pregnancy (yes),

*whether she was excited (yes, extremely),

*whether she was scared (spoken answer: yes!; mental answer: uh duh!)

And then The Good Moms would ask the question that often changed the course of each pleasant conversation: "So what do you do for a living?"

When she replied that she was a homicide detective, the response was predictable. They shrank in horror, wondered aloud how she could do such a dangerous, deadly job and still choose to bring innocent life into the world; whether she would consider taking a career break after the baby arrived; whether she would ask for a permanent desk assignment, since she was already on temporary desk duty.

The queries would quickly turn irritatingly personal, and Kate would gracefully change the subject, which of course, to The Good Moms' minds, only confirmed their worst fears: that in the years to come; adorable, unspoiled little sweethearts would be born to yet another selfish, career-obsessed, adrenaline-junkie mom, who would abandon them in the care of a nanny while running off to catch bad guys.

Kate often found it funny that The Good Moms rarely, if ever, asked her about the baby's father – his excitement, his fears, his career. She shook her head wryly – for all of mankind's strides, some attitudes remained unchanged. It was interesting – as the mom-to-be, she got all the attention, the oohs and aahs – and in many ways she understood that, considering that she was the one whose body was going through all these huge, complex changes. But still, Rick was largely ignored by curious enquirers, sidelined, treated as the token sperm-supplier, when in truth; he was just as excited about the impending arrivals as she was.


They were both thrilled, a fact that still astounded and moved her by turns – not on Castle's part, but on her own. Even with the undeniable physical evidence, she still couldn't really believe that she was going to be a mom, or that she was looking forward to it with such hope and excitement, even in the midst of her fears. The possibility of motherhood was something she had always pushed down into the recesses of her mind, into the most abstract and remote of her thoughts. It was something she'd always wanted – but on a deep, unacknowledged level, and now that it was becoming a reality, it was both wonderful and overwhelming.

The twins, both boys, had been nicknamed Ryan and Espo in utero. Since she and Rick didn't plan to name the twins after their friends once they were actually born, they figured this was the next best thing. She was already learning each baby's distinctive personality traits. Baby Espo was energetic and restless, constantly moving around, demanding space. Ryan was quieter, more peaceful, but his movements, though less frequent, were often even stronger than his twin's. In Kate's mind, little Espo was the hothead with a short attention span and a kind, forgiving heart, always ready to move on to the next thing; and Ryan was the quiet, headstrong one – focused and deliberate, self-assured. She could hardly wait to meet them – her boys.

She reluctantly turned her mind back to this night, this special night. They had their routine down pat for these public events now. They'd pull up in the ridiculously expensive car. She'd run her slightly damp palms down the sides of her dress, simultaneously checking that everything was in place. She'd touch a hand to her hair one last time. Then he'd smile, take her hand and say something sweet and sincere, and then they'd kiss, softly, so as not to mess up her make-up.

And then one final question from Castle: "Ready?" Her response was usually just a smile and a nod. And then they'd step out in their finery, and the world would explode in a cacophony of shouted comments (you look great!), instructions (over here!), whistles, applause and questions.

All in a blitz of blindingly bright lights.


It had all begun barely five minutes earlier, and now Kate and Rick made their way, side by side, down the red carpet, stopping to pose for photos and make small talk with reporters. It was a walk they'd made together several times in the three years since they'd gotten engaged and become known to the public as a couple, the two years since they'd been married. But this one was different. It was the first time Kate was doing this walk while pregnant – and not daintily pregnant, with the little curve she'd sported in her first trimester; but hugely pregnant, with a bump the size of a giant football – make that two footballs – hidden underneath her long, black gown.

She could still remember the shop attendant's spiel when she'd gone out to purchase the dress a week before this night. "It looks stunning on you, Ms. Beckett. Sexy, but not too sexy. Timeless, elegant, but still stylish and modern. The cap sleeves set off your toned arms beautifully. The bodice is perfect – just a little hint of your décolletage – you might as well flaunt those pregnancy boobs while you've got 'em, right?"

Kate had quirked an eyebrow and smiled wryly at her reflection in the boutique's full-length three-way mirror. Rick loved those 'pregnancy boobs'. He would love seeing them in this dress. And she loved the dress too. It didn't try (pointlessly) to disguise her belly by swamping it as so many pregnancy clothes did; and she didn't want it to – being pregnant wasn't something she was ashamed of. But it wasn't tight, restrictive or uncomfortable either. It felt right, it suited her; she liked the way she looked in it.

So she'd shrugged as she handed over her credit card to the attendant. "I'll take it." If she was going to go to this thing; she'd thought to herself that day, taking one last, long look at herself in the mirror before heading back to the dressing room to change into her jeans and tee; then she was going to go looking good.


The decision to attend tonight's party, the launch of Hamptons Heat, hadn't been an easy one for her. Hamptons Heat was the eighth, and in her admittedly biased opinion, the finest Nikki Heat novel, one that held special significance for both herself and Rick, because of its connection to a very special, eventful weekend – their first getaway as a couple, the first time they'd snuck away from work to go somewhere, back when no one knew they were together. Much as she loved her life now, Kate remembered those days fondly, with a great deal of nostalgia.

That weekend had turned into so much more than a romantic getaway. They'd solved a murder together, solidified their fledgling bond as a couple. And they'd had fun – great laughter, great conversations, great sex. Yep, that had been some weekend. And when Rick had used it as the inspiration for a new Nikki/Rook novel, Kate had been thrilled, even more so when she'd read the finished product.

Taking all that into consideration, Kate had definitely wanted to be there for the release of the book, to share in Rick's shining moment, with her closest family and friends at their side. She was so proud of Rick and his work, and being at events like this one gave her the opportunity to show that, to him and to the world.

And yet, these things were deeply uncomfortable for Kate at the best of times, and would only be more torturous now that she was pregnant, and feeling awkward and ungainly. She also didn't want to take any attention away from the main purpose of the event.

So she'd considered staying away tonight, letting Rick have his moment, but without her at his side. She'd even told him about her decision, mentioning only that she didn't feel up to a big public outing so late in her pregnancy. He'd reassured her that although he would miss her on the big night, he accepted her decision. Her well-being, and the welfare of the twins, were his most important considerations. He didn't try to persuade her to join him, his support for her decision was unquestioning, but still… she'd seen his face fall for a split-second, the light in his eyes dimming just a little.

She knew he wanted her beside him – he always did. And because of her hectic work schedule, she was so rarely able to attend his public events that he had come to treasure each time she did manage join him for one. She knew that, and she wanted to be there for him – she really did, but these things had her on edge even under the best of circumstances.

She didn't like having all eyes on her, she wasn't used to it, she didn't want to get used it, would never deliberately seek the spotlight. And yet, she was coming to terms with the fact that she was married to someone who did have a public side. She was learning to share him with his fans – and as one of their number, she could fully understand their interest in him.

Not that the public would ever truly get to know the real Rick, as Gina had reminded Kate when she called – without Rick's knowledge, of course – to ask why Kate would not be attending the book party. Kate was almost sure she'd detected a wistful note in the blonde's voice. Gina had gone on to say, "I understand your concerns, Kate, but the fans have really embraced you as part of Rick's life. And that includes your growing family. That's actually why we're planning a full red carpet – we've never done anything on this scale before, but this time there's so much interest in the book that it actually makes sense. And that's because of you. You are part of the picture, Kate, and by being there you won't be taking anything away from the event – you'll be adding so much more."

Gina had paused for effect before continuing. "In fact, if you're not there, Rick will only be asked about you a million times. And of course we can come up with a story, like we have before, but only if you really don't want to be there. If you do, then please don't stay away because you think it'll take anything away from the night, because I promise you that it will be great for the book, and for Rick."

"As always," Gina went on, "Paula and I will do our best to make it as painless as possible for you. But if you really don't want to do it, I know better than to try to persuade you. Rick would have my head on a platter if he found out I was even making this call, and although I haven't known you as long as I've known him, I don't think you would come to the party either, if you really didn't want to. Just think about it."

So Kate had thought about it, and she'd finally decided that she wanted to be there, gigantic stomach or not. So she'd bought the dress, and the shoes, and then she'd told Castle that she'd changed her mind. And the light that had leaped into his eyes in the split-second before he asked, "Are you sure you're feeling up to it?"… that light had made her even happier with her decision.


A/N: In the next chapter, the red carpet interviews…. As always, I would love to know what you think.