Disclaimer: I don't own em….
Life as she knew it would never be the same again. She didn't know whether to cry or laugh at that statement. True, her life pretty much sucked before all this had happened but there was something about it that she didn't want to trade even if she was given the choice.
Right, she would undo her mothers murder and some other bad choices she made but other than that she wanted that life. Hey what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right? Sure, then if that were the case she'd be invincible by now. There were a number of times when she thought that she could have died from the pain she was feeling, only she never did. Well there was that one time when she had tried to do it herself, but even that didn't go as planned.
The fact remains that whatever she called her life before, it was her life and the memories would be with her for the rest of her life. Some she would think fondly of, others would haunt her at night. They are hers to keep whether she wanted to or not.
This led her back to the current situation she was in; it had been six months since she was back. It had been six months since the charges against her had been dropped. It had been six months to the day when she had heard that the judge involved in all of this would be out on bail till further notice. That news had hit her like a brick wall coming down on her. Justice delayed, the headline had read in the newspaper that morning.
It was all for nothing she had said aloud. All her work, her digging to find JD's killer had all been for nothing. Once more life had taken nasty turn on her. All her friends were by her side when the news broke and had assured her that he'll get his dues in time. The judge's accomplices weren't as lucky or well connected as him and were arrested one by one, their future looking grimmer by the second.
A week into their trial it was established that one of them had killed JD. While that may have been true, she knew in her gut that the judge was the mastermind behind all this. It didn't matter that some criminal was going to jail for JD's murder. For him it was just another job, another hit he had to do for his boss. No, she didn't feel any justice had been done when the person that had orchestrated all of this was still out there in the world enjoying every luxury he could afford.
She felt sick to her stomach. JD's death had been for nothing. She blamed herself. She blamed JD for not telling her he was in danger but more than anything she blamed Judge Gordon. Despair soon kicked in. She knew this was the end; she would never be able to make him pay for his crime. She had tried by going to DC and looking for evidence herself. Whatever she found she handed over to the Boston PD and the DA's office. She was convinced that it was enough to indict and convict all of them. She was wrong and he got away.
There was nothing left to do. The system had let her down. She had let JD down. That hurt the most, knowing that she couldn't finish his work, making it count. At first she thought she was feeling this way out of guilt and a sense of loyalty. She thought she was trying to make amends with hurting him and while that was partially true, she realized that she had love him.
Deep down behind the sleazy reporter façade was a man, a man that loved her regardless of what she considered to be her shortcomings. A man that enabled her to mature, to love, to feel like a woman, a woman that deserved to be loved, a woman that could love another person without wanting anything in return. For that he would always have a special place in her heart.
This was just one of the things that had changed her life. Her job was another little detail that seemed to plague her. The truth was she didn't have a job at the moment. Bureaucracy had kicked into full gear when she was supposedly to have killed JD. The county of Massachusetts apparently makes it a point of not employing killers or suspected killers. So as soon as detective Simmons put out the APB on Jordan Cavanaugh, the county morgue removed her from the employee list.
Seeing as how she was now cleared of all the charges, the county quickly had to admit their mistake and reinstate her. The problem was that bureaucracy, even with today's technology, was very slow. For the time being she was allowed to be an outside consultant on the cases until she had her position back. A consultant? She had scoffed when Garret had told her the news. He didn't like it any better than she did but his hands were tied. It had taken him every contact he had to at least give her that much.
Their superiors didn't think it was necessary to have an extra ME since they had already hired someone as her replacement. Garret had kindly reminded him that she was in fact falsely accused of murder and she desired to do so, she could sue the pants off every one of them for their misdoings. They quickly had changed their mind. For now she would share cases with the person hired to replace her. Jordan had enjoyed that part the most. Not only wasn't she given her job back, but also she had to share the job she didn't have with someone else. It was enough to make her want to run again.
Her life seemed to be in an endless freefall with no indication of slowing down or even hitting the ground. Life as she knew it would never be the same again.
