I was angry. More than angry, I was furious. My rage was coming from nowhere, fueled by nothing. But it was there all the same, and I couldn't stop it. Finally, when I saw him, Padme had brought him, I exploded.
After that, nothing was coherent. We were arguing... I don't know what was said, I only know the emotions behind the words.
She was disappointed in me, because I wasn't him. She was mad at me because I wasn't him. I didn't want to be him. Everyone expected me to be him, to be perfect like him, and I didn't want to be him. I lost the last of my control and all I know was that I wanted to kill her. I dove head into the dark side, leaving the light side behind.
And I choked her.
It was a dark feeling. It was flood of all my repressed feelings finally coming out of their prison. It was passion, power, and a crazy, reckless freedom. But it was also jealousy, pain, and an unwavering anger. So much anger. And honestly, I was a little scared. Scared of myself.
I didn't even see her fall. My eyes were closed. I heard it, though. I thought about turning away from her and not looking back, but I couldn't bear just leaving her. I looked back, just once.
In that one glance, I saw her clearly. Her beauty, her loyalty, her love shining clearly through the Force. Her love for me. And I saw my beautiful angel, close to giving birth, slumped to the ground. Was she alive? Had I killed her? These questions raced through my mind all throughout my duel with Obi-Wan and even as I lay, burning, on the Mustafarian gravel. Burning, like hell had come to claim me for my sins.
She doesn't belong here. Angels don't belong in Hell.
But I do.
