The silence stretches all around me as I walk through the crisp untouched snow. The mist hangs protectively over the almost silent river; every now and again, the water kisses the banks, so delicately I think I must be imagining the sound. The only speckles of colour visible are the four solitary lampposts, each positioned at the end of snow covered benches. I walk towards a raised platform, lift my right hand; pushing off the snow to reveal the plaque describing these almost certainly Victorian era red shining lampposts.
These lampposts were one of the earliest used in this area. Each pair illuminated both sides of the old bridge in the early 1900's. They have been placed upon the site, which the old bridge stood. To serve as a reminder;
That which is gone will never be forgotten.
I walked past the small snow covered pyramids and carefully perched on the edge of one of the benches, high above me stands a half a dozen proud Willow trees, there branches cascading down from the heavens, snow clings thickly to the branches. The trees provide a canopy of surreal calmness; this was the most idyllic spot I had ever experienced.
I am stuck in time, a place where nothing moves nor makes a sound, except the gentle flowing river. It is early, only now I hear a car carefully make its way across the bridge directly ahead of me. I cannot see the bridge, the mist protects it to, and I sit in glorious calm.
A car turns into the street behind me; I can vaguely see the pools of lights casting an eerie glow in my peripheral vision. I curse this intruder as a slightly muffled car door slams in the distance.
I pull my coat tighter round my body; not because I am cold, but instead I catch myself realising that, I am anxious about what or who will come down that long and windey path. I however do not need to wait long; I hear the crunches of footsteps on the snow as a person slowly but surely makes their approach.
"Wow, it's beautiful here isn't it?" the disturber of my peaceful walk states. I nod in response, the thick fur of his hood obscures his face, and I would rather not communicate with a headless being. In fact I'd rather be left in peace, it's a shame there isn't some kind of device you could purchase that would emit a low frequency noise to keep all and sundry away from you, when you wish to be alone, to contemplate your life; maybe I could invent one.
My silence however does not project my wish to be left alone, the man stands still in front of me, gazing towards the river we cannot see. He tips his head up towards the clouds and his hood falls down. His hair was once black, yet now it is softly sprinkled with a white dusting. I hear him taking a deep breath before turning around to face me, it is then that I feel my chest tightening, my breath catching in my throat, I feel something I haven't felt in such a long time, my stomach is fluttering with butterflies.
"You're a hard woman to track down you know." I nod again, because I have no words, my mind is blank. He calmly approaches me, gently pushes a branch of one of the willow trees out of his way and sits down.
"Well, it's been what twenty years? Moreover, you are speechless. Really?" I look into the face of a man I had not seen for a lifetime, images flash brightly in my mind, bright vivid images of a lifetime ago. The smiles, the laughter, the tears and the heartache; all of it comes tumbling back in a whirlwind of emotion.
"Has it really been that long?" I say, I look out towards the river; the mist is slowly beginning to clear.
"It has indeed. Feels like only yesterday sometimes. Although I still believe I am 30 in my head."
"Don't we all" I whisper.
"I suppose you're wondering what I'm doing here, after all this time."
I manage to say a weak throaty "Yes"
"I had a dream about you last night," he states, as if that is enough explanation. I stand making to walk away, to flee him as he fled us so many years ago. I feel the pressure of his hand softly grasping mine and I halt my movements.
"Please just look at me" he pleads. He pulls me towards him, yet I still do not meet his gaze.
"Why won't you look at me?" he asks.
"Because I know what I'll find there, I know I'll see something that even now after everything I won't be able to resist, I can't do that to myself, but I also can't stop myself" I hear him sigh.
"So you do feel it then? That invisible force that pulls us together no matter where we are, it's been there since the beginning hasn't it?" he knows my answer. Pulling off his gloves, he pulls back my hood and gently lifts my chin up. We now stand eye to eye, butterflies are running amok in my stomach, letting out a shaky breath I say, "What is this?"
"This" he kisses me softly on the lips "is love. It has been a long time coming but I love you. I have done for so long."
"I know." then my words are like the silent fluttering snow falling heavily around us. The mist disappears and finally we each know what we were missing all those years.
