Alex didn't want any of this. He didn't want constant phone calls from people, asking him if he was okay. Their constant reminders that if he ever needed to talk that they would always be there for him. He didn't want to talk. He wanted to wake up from this awful nightmare he was putting himself through. He wanted Jack to be alive, to breathe in the air Alex was suffocating in.

Alex shut out the world and hid in the bottom of their closet, taking in the sent that used to belong to Jack. He would stay in there all day, and through silent tears pray that when he'd open the door Jack would be in their bed or sitting on the edge of their bed, waiting for Alex to come out.

One night Alex came out of their closet, eyes closed, knowing that Jack was gone and would never come back. When he opened his eyes his heart stopped as the tears continued to fall. On their bed, in clothes as white as snow, with flawless skin that glowed in the light, and his happy brown eyes that haunted Alex's dreams every night, sat Jack.

Alex couldn't form words, he could only stare at the boy - the love of his life - sitting in front of him.

"Alex . . ." The way Jack said his name - oh god - Alex knew he was there - Jack was home. Alex started crying harder than all of the nights he stayed awake hugging his pillow or when he attended the funeral and people watched as he played the last song he would ever perform. ". . . Oh baby, come here."

Jack stood up from his seat on the bed and walked over to Alex, taking him in his arms, and walking back over to the bed.

"I-I-I've missed you s-s-so much. Why did you leave? Why didn't I die instead of you?" Alex's sobs grew louder as he clung to the love of his life. "I-I-I-I can't live without you, Jack. I n-n-need you. I'm dying without you. I hate waking up to the sun shining while you are buried six feet under and can't ever see the sun. I hate eating breakfast alone. I hate not holding you at night. I hate how I never asked you to marry me sooner. I hate how I don't get to spend the rest of my life with you."

Jack, even though an angel, had tears fall from the corner of his eyes as he held Alex. Heaven was hell for Jack because he didn't have Alex. There was a world between them and they didn't know how to concur it. They were so far apart.

"Alex," Jack managed to choke out. "I wanted to stay. I tried so hard. Every time I was so close to coming back something pushed me away. I was so scared. I could hear your crying but I couldn't find you. It was so dark."

Together they cried, placing small kisses on each others lips, clinging to each other, every moment precious. Time slipped through their fingers as if it were sand. As the sun rose early in the morning - Jack was gone.

Even if they were separated by life and afterlife they managed to find their own heaven - even if only for a little while.