Author's Note : Hiyo ~ This is my second fanfic already. In this fic I will asure you that you will know all of the characters. It wouldn't be as confusing as my other one. This story will be written in Fem! Roma's point of view so you could prepare yourself for f-bombs. I will be nyofying some characters as well. I'll wanted to keep all the characters the same gender but wouldn't be reasonable in a mixed boy-girl school. In this fic, Roma will admit her love, but wouldn't be able to express it. She's kind of insecure too. There'll be GerIta in this one as much as I would hope for them to be a secondary pairing. Maybe I'll add them somewhere later on. (I'm debating on that though. I don't really like young love. Highschool is one thing, 8 grade is another.)

Disclaimer : I do not own Hetalia or its characters. Himaruya-sensei owns them. I do own the plot this time.

Warning : Beware of colourful language. (It's Roma. Hah! I told you the characters this time. ) Failed fluff and friendship along with sister-love. Oh right! I'll not be doing accents. I don't really like how the accents are written. I rather listen to an accent other than reading them, so if you want to read it with an accent you may do so.

Now in the power vest in me, enjoy~


It's my first year in highschool. I hate it. I hate highschool. I hate everyone and everything. Especially that old fart. He left when we were thrown here to live with nonna when mama and papa died. When I mean 'we', I mean my sorella, Feliciana, and I. He fucking left. Nonno left and flew to Italy by himself. He could have took us there too. But no. He didn't. He fucking left.

Nonna snapped me out of my day-dreams by knocking on my bedroom door. I guess the breakfast ready. Note this. What I mean by breakfast is a bowl of pasta. Every-fucking-day. But Feli likes it and I want her to be happy even though she's a bitch at times. Mostly a brat, but a bitch is also a good term to describe her attitude towards me behind our nonna's back. Sneaky sorella..

She's younger than me by a year and is the center of all attention. She's always happy and excited. I suspect her of having ADHD. I'm not mean, but I will have to ask the doctor to check her mentality at her next check up as a precaution of course.

"LOVI~!"

"Shut up bastard," I replied sleepily, "Now get me breakfast, stupid sorella."

"Si! I'm right to it."

"Happy people.." I grubled. It seems like I need to take my lazy ass to the bathroom and get ready. Don't want to be late for the first day. Who am I kidding. I don't fucking care about what the principal will say. I just wanted to go see that someone 'special'. Ha, right. It's definitely a guy. Now shut up and let me continue.

My hair's in a fucking mess. My skin's tan and I'm slightly chubby. I'll never be in his view. He's so perfect! I can't even be a normal human being. A wooden plank would probably be a better girlfriend than I could ever be for him.

'Enough with disappointing yourself.' I shook my head slightly as I walk out of the bathroom to my room to get dressed. I'm not going to be a fucker and depress myself on the first fucking day. My 'friends' could help me about that. Their the 'love freaks' afterall.

I came running down the stairs, gobbled up my breakfast, say hi to nonna, and bolted out the door while grabbing Feli by the hand. Poor her, there's still some pasta left in her mouth. But really who cares. I just want to go to that fucking hell-hole to see that one shining light. What am I not allowed to fantasise about my crush. I may be kind-of a bitch (that runs on the female side of the family. Believe it or not Feli developed this trait too), but I'm still a fucking girl. An ugly one at that. If you count 'tsundere' then that too. I don't even fucking know what that means. Stupid Sakura and her anime shit. I can't believe I'm her friend. Actually I became friends with her through Feli so that's no surprise. As much of a fucker Feli is, she's still more friendly than I am.

"Lovina-chan," Sakura waved her hand at me as soon as she saw me which is the same time Feli left. Now I have to deal with her. She's nice. She's been my friend since forever. She even stuck with me when I was bitchy with the excuse of me being a 'tsundere'. (Again, what the hell does it mean. Note to self : Ask Sakura what the hell does 'tsundere' mean.)

"Let's go in. The others are waiting..." The 'others' that she refers too are my 'friends'. We're a group of fuck-ups, okay? Well, not them, that's mostly me. They're always overly excited about my love-life. I mean, seriously? Don't you fuckers have anything else to do. I guess not since we all know each other well already. They just want to know me more. Those asshats... What's more there ia to know about me other than my bitchy-ness (is that even a word? I don't give two fucks about it) and my 'oh-so unconditional love' to Antonio. Yes, I love him. I admit it, but I'm too shy to even look at him in the eye! He'll never notice me. Ever. I'll just be that loser to love like always. Those guys seem to always think otherwise.

After listening to that bald, old guy who called himself the principal, we were released to go to lunch. That's one good thing about this shitty school. I went to sit on a table at the back of the cafeteria. It's more peaceful there. The peacefulness did not last for long when my group of 'friends' came rushing to the table.

"Hey, hey. Lovi, Saku, Lili, Laury, how are your summers. Mine's amazing. I get to meet Roderich! We became friends and I think he might be a little interested in me now."

"Eliza, don't get your hopes up too fast. Can't you not remember that we are just a small, unnoticeable group in this school. Surely someone as cool as him wouldn't even look at us in the eye."

"I would agree with Lili-chan on that one. Though, there is one person who could definitely raise our group status."

They all look at me at the same time which is creepy especially with Elizabeta's and Laura's rape faces. Seriously! I can't fucking believe these people are my friends. It's no wonder that we're at the bottom of the social order because of our fucked-up personality.

"Oh right~ That's the main topic this year isn't it. Everyone here seems to be either uninterested in love or is already pursuing for one. Our lovely Lovi here haven't even voice out her crush even though we all know who it is, right? How about our goal this year is to pair her up with our school's football captain. He seem to have an eye on her too, you know."

Wait. What? What did she mean by him having an eye on me. I don't think he even fucking saw me. He's a year above me. He couldn't have his mind on a freshmen like me, is he.

"What do you fuckers mean by him having an eye on me," I replied back coldly. I want to get to the bottom of this whole stupid love shit thing. Other than football, all that's in his overly-happy mind is photography. He wouldn't have time for love. Last year, I saw him dump 5 girls already. I have to much pride to be humiliated over something as stupid as getting dumped.

"Eh? My dear Roma didn't know?" damm her for knowing my middle name.

"What the fuck is it."

"It seems like you didn't know... Then I shall not tell you then!"

My head hitted the table as soon as 'Emma', that's her middle name, finishes her sentence. Screw her. I don't want to know what it is. I continued with my meal and soon enough the bell rang.

Since it's the first day of this school, we were released at mid-day. Well, technically we're not 'dismissed', but rather having free time. Whatever that shit is, I don't give a fuck about it.

"Let's go watch those bastard play football," I suggested as I crossed my arms over my chest. At this point I'm sure my cheeks are painted red. Fuck hormones. Fuck that shit. Why the fuck would you create that shit anyway.

"Let's go!" they all screamed at the same time. I was dragged by the hand all the way to the football field. It seems like I have no energy left as of yesterday. Screw Sunday night. Screw myself for having a sappy love movie marathon. Though, I haven't watch 'To Rome With Love' and the new 'Romeo and Juliet'.

"Dammed them," I mumbled under my breath. I don't want to meet him. I look like shit. Did I ever mention that I just got glasses. Fuck my eyesight. I should probably blame Sakura. I'm now addicted to that manga anime shit. Thank you bitch.

In the field, I saw Antonio scoring the final goal that finishes the match at the score of 3-0 against Tim. That's Laura's brother, and they aren't really on good terms with each other. I side-tracked, shit. Now I can't fucking him with all his stupid-ass fans. Those bitches. Their my worse fucking enemies especially with their clearly caked make ups. I hate them so much, I wish that one day I could use my papa's old baretta and shoot them in their fucking face. But that wouldn't happen. All of the old shit lies in the house in Italy. I wouldn't get the chance to go there with nonna retired and nonno travelling costs.

Oh my god. This shit did not just happen to me. There he comes..

Antonio came running directly to me. I frozed. In that split second, he flashed me one of his sun-kissed smiles. Damned. He's fucking gorgeous. I wouldn't still date him if he were either a girl or I magically transformed into a guy.

He took the bottled water that lies next to me and drink it all up in one gulp. Wait. That my fucking water bottle. I filled that thing before going to the canteen and left it here. Holy shit! Tell me this is not happening. I panicked and a blush rosed up to my face.

"Chica~ Your face is as red as a tomate~ That's cute~" he ruffled my hair like I'm some kindergarten kid.

"I-I'm not a tomato, y-you bastard," I mumbled back while swatting his hand of my head. 'You're so fucking stupid! He paid you attention to you and this is what you give him. You're the real bastard.' I know that already, you bitch! Now go back to that corner of my mind and shut the hell up.

At this point, he placed the bottle back into my hands and ran off to congratulate his friends. I'm 100% sure that all his fangirls and my fucked up friends are glaring at me. 1) for getting a compliment from him. (They're jealous. That's one thing that made my day.) 2) swatting his hands away, and 3) for calling him a bastard. I fucking sorry. I can't help my own mouth. I spend most of my days with mama and nonna. Their word list are super colourful. Feli got to spend time with papa, so she isn't as bad as I am. Nowadays she even helps nonna with that small pasta shop me and nonna opened last year.

I was left to deal with my own messed up mind for the rest of the day. I sat on one of the benches that were placed parallel to the field. The last bell rang signalling that we could go home. I didn't move an inch since the football field incident. The 'others' left me here to find a piece of my mind by myself. That's knowing of them to respect my thinking time. I don't have much of those these days.

I left the bench to pick Feli up. She doesn't need picking up, but for some reason she is really happy when I did. Behind me I heard footsteps running away from me as the sound of it gets softer. I was fucking sure that I was alone. Who in their right mind would waste their time spying on me. Whoever that bastard is, I don't fucking care anymore.

When Feli saw me coming from behind the building towards the front gate, she smiled. Great. Just fucking great. Now she's going to be up on my business. Can't she just let me be? No.

"So how's the first day, sorella?" Feli asked curiously while racing up to take my hands and to catch up to my speed.

"Fine.." that was a flat out lie. I don't want her to be worried about me. She had enough from dealing with papa, mama, and that old fart.

"If...If you say so.." Feli finished. She knew not to push me. I grabbed her hand tight to assure her that I'm okay despite the fact that I have a scowl on my face. She could guess that I'm really not that well. I'm a good liar. I just can't really lie in front of either my fucked up friends and Feli after sticking with since forever. They all knew my parents (Feli knew them too. She's their daughter too for fuck's sake.)

As soon as we arrived home, I dashed through the door and went straight to my room. I locked it. Now, I don't have to fucking worry about shit. I'm safe in here. I could still see the cracks in the red paint that was painted by mama on the ceiling. When I was 5, mama promised to redecorate my room with me. Papa promised Feli. In the end, we had a bit of a competition (right..small competition...more like a fucking full scale competition. ) Mama and I won with the tomato design painted on the ceiling. When they were coming back to the U.S. from Italy, they both promise to repaint our rooms. Papa will be helping me this time. I was ten and Feliciana was nine. They never came back and fulfil their fucking promise.

I didn't realise that I was crying. I guess I really can't pretend to be strong anymore. But I couldn't back down now. If I'm not going to be strong for Feli, who's going tk be there for her when she cries. It's definitely not some bastard who came to flirt with her for sure.

"Lovina, dinner will be ready in five minutes," nonna yelled from downstairs from the kitchen.

"Si... I'll be down in a moment. I promise," I shouldn't have said that. I don't want to promise anyone anything. I couldn't risk the chance of not being able to fulfil it. I pledged, right here in my room, with my hand above my heart.

"I swear," I whispered to no one in particular, "This will be the last promise I will make in my life. I can't break anyone's heart because of a promise like mama and papa. Stay strong." I tried reassuring myself. I wiped my face clean of tears so I won't look like a fuckinh pussy and went down stairs to eat dinner with both Feli and nonna.

Before I sleep, I wished that I would be able to keep my word. But this world is, sadly, not a fucking wish-granting factory.


Author's Note : That's the first chapter. I hope you enjoy this fic as much I enjoy reading it. It would be nice to leave a review or even a critique. I'm a new writer so I need as much advice as possible. I'll try to update it often. Sadly, school does not seem to let me have time for these. I'm sorry if it does not sound like Roma. I am terribly sorry. I hope to improve as I write more and more.

Disclaimer : I do not own the cover photo too. If you are the artist and wanted your photo to be taken out. Please ask me. I'll be glad to take it down. It would be nice though if you would still let me use it.

Til next time~