One: Maybe it's Maybelline
Edward Cullen had overslept and was running late for school. Quick swipe of the teeth, quick splash of the face, and he was ready. Oh wait. His Chapstick! Without looking, he quickly swiped it over his mouth. Some got on his teeth, but Edward thought, hey, it's just Chapstick. No one will notice. He snatched up his book bag and jumped into his car. He couldn't wait to see Bella again, even though she had only left the night before. He made it to school just as warning bell rang. Oh man. No breakfast for me today, I guess. The school had great breakfast. Bagels, muffins, coffee rolls, the like. Five minutes till homeroom. He had to see Bella. He rushed toward her morning hangout. "Bella? Bella!" he called. And then almost ran smack into her when she leaped out from behind a pillar. "Surprise!" She said and then stopped short. Confusion ran across her face, followed by surprise, then annoyance, and he could have sworn he saw a brief flicker of amusement. But it was gone when she glared at him again. "Is this some kind of joke?" she demanded. "Because it is so not funny. Take it off."
Edward was confused. Take what off? And he said exactly that. "Take what off, Bella?" He had absolutely no idea what Bella was trying to tell him to take off or why. Bella spun him around to face her friends. "Eve, Tanya, look. He thinks this is funny. And he's pretending to play dumb." Evelyn, a girl I had never liked, spun around to face me and Bella. I grinned lightly at her, not sure what reaction I was hoping for. She gasped. "Is that…?" she whispered in shocked horror. Bella nodded. "Yes."
I was utterly bemused. "What is your problem, ladies?" I cried in exasperation. They didn't seem like they were joking, but what did I know about girls and their jokes? It was really getting to me. "No, Edward," Bella hissed. "What is your problem?" I just wanted to get this over and done with. I was late for homeroom. "I really have no idea what I did wrong!"
Bella, strangely, seemed taken aback. "You really don't know?" She asked, scrutinizing my face for signs of lying. "No," I replied. "I really don't." Bella sighed and started tugging me down the hall towards the bathrooms and shoved me roughly into the girls' room. I was shocked. "What's the big idea, Bella?" I complained, "If I get caught in here…"
Bella suddenly turned on me. "If someone finds you in here, not my prob," she said. And that would be better than this," she spat, spinning me around by the waist and shoving me in front of one of the mirrors.I took a look… and got a shock.
Oh my god. I'm wearing Bella's expensive lipstick. And it's all over my teeth. "Dammit!" I roared, pounding my fists against the sink with much more force than necessary. I turned on the water full force and started rubbing my mouth. Bella shut it off and whacked me upside the head. Eve snorted. "Dummyward really can't get a clue, can he?" she mumbled to Bella loud enough for me to hear. I expected Bella to stand up for me, but she did the axact opposite. "No," she agreed. "Dummyward really can't." To my face, she said, it's waterproof. You can only get it off with these special wipes, which I ran out of two days ago. I guess I left my lipstick at your apartment last night. Teaches me a lesson." She turned onher heel and stalked off, calling "I'm late" over her shoulder. My teachers would never let me cover my mouth the whole day. Crap, I am in some deep doo-doo. Unless…
"Alice?" I asked once she picked up. She was laughing. "On your own here, buddy. You've really ruined it this time! I don't have no wipes. Oh, and Bella says she's dumping you." My face fell. Bella came over the phone. "I confirm," she said solemnly before she, Evelyn, Irina, and Tanya broke out in fits of giggles. I slid my phone shut and did the same to my eyes. Bella had already told Alice. I knew perfectly well that Rosalie, my other sister, would laugh in my face whether TIE (Tanya, Irina and Eve) had told them or not. Damn. Oh my gosh. Mrs. Doyle is going to kill me. I was half an hour late for classes. I all but sprinted there and arrived breathless and dizzy. Mrs. Doyle, as predicted, pounced on me like a hawk. "Excuse, Cullen?"
I cannot think right now. At all. "My salamander ate my homework," I choked out. Mrs. Doyle snorts. "And did your salamander then regurgitate the worksheet?" she sneered. I had no idea it was a joke, so I decided to wing it.
"By no means did he regurgitate the paper. He vomited out half of it. The other half, uh, y'know, came out, uh, the back end."
The class erupted in a universal giggle fit. Tanya was in hysterics. "The back end? Oh boy, Edward!" she cried. Only then did I realize what I had just been saying.
"uhh," I squeaked and ran from the room.
