A/N: This has been an ongoing project for months, and I've almost finished it. To actually force myself to come up with an ending, I'm putting it here. I adore AU college type stuff, and this is a bit different to my previous klaine oneshots. The timelines will get confusing, and it does jump all over the place to give you hints of the background, so bare with me!

Obviously I do not own anything.

You and I ended over U.N.I by Ed Sheeran was my soundtrack for this, and the song will surface in later chapters.

It's pretty damn angsty with some integrated fluff and lots of Kurt/Rachel friendship.

X

The subway had lost its excitement within the first month.

The sheer number of people crushing Kurt between pillars was overwhelming, only due to the fact he had never seen that many people in one place before. Everyone had somewhere to go, even the tourists with their noses in their maps had some sort of direction, however slowly they got there. Kurt rarely saw anyone like him, just sitting in the last spot between the student with the obscenely loud music and the nine-to-five business man, just watching.

But a month later, Kurt was fed up with being squashed against the glass doors, fingers slipping on the hand rail. He had no time to stop and people watch, he had places to be, auditions to go to, rent to pay. But however busy he was, he always found his gaze lingering on the Broadway posters, just like the tourists, just like the first time he set foot in the overcrowded underground.

X

February 2016, New York.

Kurt was twenty three, broke, and being dragged along in the current of lunch time subway sheep when he heard it. The unmistakable tones of Miss Rachel Berry singing her go-to audition song were magnified in the small tunnels, and Kurt found himself turning around and following them.

"On my own..."

Her voice sored and the harsh lights of the metro seemed a little lighter. Closer, she couldn't have been much further.

"Without him, I feel his arms around me..."

There! The short brunette was layered in colours, her shoes clashed with her coat, and people were avoiding her like the plague. Kurt smiled, some things never changed.

A tiny stereo crackled out the faint instrumental, and a bedazzled bucket or pot was in front of her. It was empty.

"Without me, this world will go on turning. A world that's full of happiness that I have never known!"

She hadn't seen him, her eyes closed in a classic diva look, 'pushing the emotion away', and he leaned against the nearest pillar.

"I love him, but only on my own." Her voice swelled, the music faded, and the silence of the subway returned. Instead of applause, there were coughs and half-heard conversations. A voice came over reminding people that unattended items would be removed and destroyed.

Kurt clapped.

X

"I can't believe I didn't know you came back." They sat in Kurt's one bedroom apartment. Well, it was more like a one room apartment. The bed folded up in one of those horribly creaky contraptions, but he couldn't be fussy.

Rachel shrugged, "Everywhere said I was too young, or I looked too young, or I was too short. I was always too something."

"So what happened? Finn said you dropped out of Ohio State..."

"I went to the other end. Glamorous LA, you know? I did a little time in Vegas as a backing singer, but I always loved this city, even if it did spit me out." She laughed hollowly, and Kurt noticed the slight sag in her shoulders, the lines on her forehead.

She twisted the conversation round, not letting him ask what she was doing now. He told her about his infrequent work at Green Ginger as a barman, and he guessed she saw his eyes dull as he did when he looked in the mirror.

X

It was nine o'clock when Rachel's stomach rumbled, and Kurt laughed. "Do you have anywhere to be?"

"Unfortunately not."

Kurt got up and made his way over to a cupboard, poking her in the side as he went. "Tonight we are serving noodles, noodles, or noodles. Take your pick."

"Noodles sounds amazing." She smiled.

X

"I saw him, you know."

They were laid side by side on Kurt's pull down bed. He claimed he wouldn't feel gentlemanly letting Rachel make her way home this late, but it may have had something to do with the way she described sharing a bedsit with three unseemly characters. Characters who seemed to enjoy leaving used needles around the place.

"Everyone sees him, Rachel." Kurt sighed, he knew this was coming.

"You know what I mean. He said you stopped returning his calls." She said gently.

"Well, he stopped listening."

X

June 2012, Ohio

"Blaine, come on, you can't honestly be nervous?"

"I'm not nervous!"

"Blaine, you have sung in front of hundreds of people before! There are probably only about forty people out there, tops." No response from the boy sat with his chin on his knees. "You sung to me on the first day we met, and look where that got you."

That, at least, got Blaine to look up. Kurt cocked an eyebrow, smirking.

"Kurt-" The boy on the floor reached out a hand which Kurt grabbed, hauling the smaller boy to his feet.

"Breathe Blaine."

"But, all those times, I had people behind me, supporting me, I should just say... I should just go. Let's go." Kurt stopped his talking with a quick kiss, before pulling back and shaking Blaine slightly by the shoulders.

"Yes, all those times you had the Warblers there. But I am here supporting you now. You're going to be perfect. They are going to love you."

Blaine's lips twitched, "I seem to recall you telling me that before the unfortunate Gap Attack..."

Kurt wacked his boyfriend on the arm. "That was your fault! You cannot blame my pep talks for your failure resulting in loosing that poor boy his job."

"I don't think you called him 'poor boy' at the time. Mercedes told me some lovely things you compared him to-"

"Ok, that's enough out of you! Come on, you're going on soon. You know your set list?" Kurt fussed, brushing his hands over Blaine's light shirt to get rid of imaginary lint.

"Yep."

"And your guitar is out there right?"

"Yes." Blaine laughed.

"A new kid in tonight for you guys," the waitress of the bar was on stage, "He's underage, so no matter how good he is, no-one is buying him drinks." Laughter splattered around the room, and Kurt gave Blaine a push.

"Good luck!" He hissed.

X

February, 2016, New York

"I still don't understand why you guys ended it." Rachel was still probing him for details before she launched into the inevitable story she was keeping bottled up.

"It's complicated." But it wasn't. It was so simple, the way they fell apart. Kurt just didn't like to think back to where it started, because he would have to shift through the good memories to find the few bad ones.

X

June 2012, Ohio

Kurt didn't like the image before him as he emerged from the men's. Blaine was sat on a table with an older guy, who was all kinds of folksy-looking with a stubble beard and chequered shirt.

But then Kurt was at the table, and Blaine was looking at him with unhidden excitement, and introducing him to the man. Apparently he was in some mainstream country band, and they were looking for an opening act and oh he just loved Blaine and the way his mixed up top forty with his original, raw sound.

Then he handed Blaine a card and said the words managers number and think about it and in two weeks time.

Kurt had remained standing partially behind Blaine's chair during the exchange, so Blaine turned around and absolutely buzzed with excitement.

Then he was hugging Kurt saying, "I'm so glad you made me do this."

And Kurt was saying, "I'm so proud of you!" and held onto Blaine a little tighter than Blaine was holding onto him.

X

August 2012, Ohio

"Got your toothbrush?"

Blaine laughed, "Yes, Kurt. I have everything. The most important things are my guitar and my phone charger so I can tell you everything."

"I wish I could go with you and see you play." It wasn't supposed to be like this, he wanted to say. They were supposed to be spending the summer together planning college and convincing their parents to let them stay over at the other's house.

Blaine pulled him into a hug, and Kurt knew he was standing on his toes as his chin was hooked over Kurt's shoulder.

"I'm going to miss you so much, but it's only a little while, right?" Blaine's voice caught, and suddenly Kurt's throat contained an astoundingly large lump.

"Right. And it's going to be amazing." He wanted to be excited for Blaine. He had to be.

"I know it wasn't supposed to go like this," Blaine whispered in his ear. "I know we were supposed to do this together. We should be going to Broadway together, but this is just too good to miss."

But Broadway was always Kurt's dream. Who would willingly buy a CD of stuff he wrote himself? After the disaster of the most recent 'original song writing' fiasco for nationals, he had sworn never to even attempt expressing his feelings with words unless someone else wrote them. He was an actor, Blaine was a musician.

The difference was huge when it meant Blaine touring without him.

X

April 2016, New York

There were very few times when Kurt went out and actually got hit on when he was with Rachel. Each time they went to a bar they usually ended up sat in a corner, whispering to the other conspiratorially. In clubs, they would crack out long forgotten glee club moves, and then fall over laughing at memories of Finn's terrible interpretations of said routines.

In two months they had fallen into a much easier friendship than they had during high school, partly due to the fact that they were both at the bottom of a much larger heap now, where everyone had the same dream. This hit of reality had wiped the sparkle off Rachel, without completely removing her shine.

And for Kurt? His outlook on the city had actually gotten better since he had someone to share his awful living conditions. Rachel didn't seem to mind rolling out a camp bed every night, and she cheered him up by proclaiming what a great story it would all make some day when they were rich and famous. Her tales of their future views from a non-existent apartment complex did, surprisingly, brighten his day.

So they danced, they laughed, and when Rachel went to the toilet and a guy approached him after so many months without even a look... Well, how could he refuse?

Rachel came back, and the charming guy with the brown eyes conjured up a well built friend to chat to her whilst he whispered in Kurt's ear, "Your place or mine?"

Kurt told Rachel not to wait up for him. She gave him a look that showed she wasn't as drunk as he thought she was.

"I'm not taking this guy back to our place," she said, stressing the our and placing a hand over his, "So come home any time."

X

September 2012, New York.

"So you'll call me when you land, right?"

"Kurt, you'll be literally five minutes away from me. Do I really need to ring?"

"Yes."

Blaine laughed, "But how will I get my luggage if I'm on the phone?"

"You'll manage." Kurt said into the phone, his free hand signing his new flat lease, and sticking a red blob next to the line Blaine would be signing later that day.

X

April 2016, New York.

The guy was a college student, probably far too young for Kurt, but he didn't care. They snuck through the flat building at around 3am. Kurt was too drunk to notice about the mess of empty pizza boxes and beer cans thrown around the living room, and spun the guy around against his door when they reached his room. Kurt leaned in; breath ghosting on the college kid's lips.

He was muttering something like don't mind the mess, or sorry for the stuff on the walls, I wasn't expecting company, before trying to close the distance between himself and Kurt's face.

Kurt's hand which wasn't around the guy was flat on the door, but it didn't feel quite like a door. It was plastic and smooth and, Kurt's eyes flickered up. Oh, a poster.

The light bulb was one of those annoying energy saving ones, and the dim yellow light reflected off the poster as the college guy trailed kisses over Kurt's jaw.

"Sorry again for the posters, I'm a bit of a fan."

And that's what cleared the murky drunken fog, and he saw Blaine there in front of him, on the door. Kurt backed away from the guy and turned.

Blaine with a guitar, Blaine sat looking moodily into the camera, Blaine's profile and silhouette and guitar on every single wall. A stack of CD's, tour posters, gig tickets arranged above the bed.

As Kurt walked, the college guy followed, and only now did Kurt realise how short he was. How obviously dyed his hair was. How he had contacts over on his desk labelled 'non prescription'.

And without a word, Kurt grabbed his jacket, and practically sprinted back into the cold air of New York.

X

He didn't tell Rachel because he didn't want her to laugh, and however sensitive she was being towards him and the break up, she was still Rachel.

But it hit him then, how far away he was from the past, how out of reach Blaine really was now. It was one thing to know Blaine's success, and it was another to see it in comparison with his own failure.

He slept with his face in his single ratty pillow to soak up the tears.


Waaa I am an angst whore.

Review? ;) I get happy and dance for each one. Sorry again for how jumpy it is, but it will even out soon enough as the time lines catch up.