Title: Fear itself

RATING: G

AUTHOR: Crimson Regret 177

EMAIL: Jeeves177yahoo.co.uk

CATEGORY: Romance/angst

SERIES: Future

SPOILERS: None at the moment

DISCLAIMERS: Star gate isn't mine ::sob sob:: it belongs to those

fabulous people at MGM, Gekko Corp, blah, blah, blah. I'm not making any money from this, if I was, it wouldn't be on ff.net would it, it would be in a book shop somewhere, making me lovely ££.

A/N: Yes folks, I finally got round to it: Sequel to 'Don't leave me this way'. I'm not really sure where it's going, so bear with me, and let me know what you think, and maybe some ideas if you have any. Here it is!! Fear Itself

She pretends she's OK now. She pretends that she isn't afraid. And for the most part, she's pretty convincing. But sometimes, she lets it slip, just a little bit. Like every time she hears the klaxon going off for an incoming traveler, for a few seconds she pales, and I can see the fear. Then as quickly as it comes, she controls it, and it goes away. But it is there. I can see it.

I can't remember the last time she went in the gateroom. Every time, she always comes up with some excuse. An entirely plausible excuse, which manages to satisfy most people, but it's still an excuse.

I look across now, as she's lying in bed next to me, sleeping. She looks so beautiful when she's sleeping. I love to watch her. It's the only time I see her, with such a look of peace in her face. The only time she's ever completely relaxed. As soon as she wakes, all the troubles come rushing back, and her face is lined with worry once again.

It's been 6 months since she got that damn Goa'uld in her. She's actually a lot better than she was. She used to wake up screaming every night from some nightmare, or horrible memory of what she did when Hera was in her. She didn't even set foot in the SGC for 4 months. They tried to send her to some counselor, but she refused. Said she wasn't crazy. She said she was fine. And she made a pretty convincing job. Everyone thinks she's OK now. Sometimes I think Daniel realizes she might not be as OK as she says she is, but I'm the only one who can see she's falling deeper and deeper. That the fear is taking over. And the worst part is; I can't do anything to stop it.

Eventually, when she decided to come back to the SGC, she took up a desk job, working with Felger, and all the other scientists. She enjoys it I know, but she doesn't love it. Not like she loved being on SG1.

She stirs now, opens her eyes, and smiles at me, the first genuine smile I've seen in a long time.

"Morning" she whispers.

"Morning" I say back, stroking her hair. I kiss her lightly, and she runs her fingers through my hair. She's feeling OK, but I know this won't last long.

"You want some breakfast?" I say, and the smile fades.

"No. Thank you, I'm, I'm not really very hungry" I sigh.

"Sam, you have to eat something. You barley eat any more. I wish you'd just tell me what's wrong". She frowns.

"Jack I'm fine. I wish you'd stop worrying all the time, I'm fine" She reinforces. I sigh again.

"Sam, you might be able to convince everyone else you're fine. You might even be able to convince yourself. But you won't fool me. Why won't you just let me help you?"

"Jack, there is nothing to help. I'm fine. At least I would be if everybody left me alone" She says defiantly, but I can hear her voice cracking. She quickly leaves the room, and I can tell she's fighting back the tears.

We're in the car now, going to the base. The atmosphere is so thick; you could cut it with a knife. I turn on the radio, in a futile attempt to provide some sort of excuse for the silence. She stares ahead, deliberately not looking at me.

The saddest thing is, this is the norm for us now. Everyday is always the same. We have some kind of fight about how she's not coping while she insists she is, she doesn't talk to me for the rest of the day, and then by the time she gets home she's too tired to put up a fight anymore, and she lies in my arms every night, weeping. Then the next moring, she'll pretend nothing happened, and the cycle starts all over again.

I always thought, that once I told Sam that I love her, that that would be it, that we'd be happy forever, and their wouldn't be any kind of problems. Don't get me wrong, I love her as much as I ever did. I just didn't know things would be so... hard.

We get to the briefing room now, and I'm surprised to find we are greeted by General Hammond, Daniel and Teal'c, all with grave expressions on their faces.

"What's going on?" I say, knowing something is wrong.

"Colonel, Doctor. Sit down" we both do so, trying to work out what's wrong.

"Approximately 4 hours ago, we received a transmission from SG2. They have been taken hostage by a local tribe on the planet. They contacted us at 6.05 am, with their demands" He takes a deep breath, and looks at Sam. "They are demanding the return of their goddess, Hera"

TBC

Let me know what you think, please r n r, let me know if you want more!