Paradocs: The following is spoiler-heavy for the Hikari no Kage series, if you haven't read it yet. It goes side-by-side with the 4th chapter of Mind Games, so, if you've at least read up to that point, you have little-to-nothing to fear.
Not exactly kid-appropriate in any way. Hence the increased warning on it. Read at your own risk, kids.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned herein, except one or two; you know the ones. Nor do I take any responsibility for any damage sustained by the reader or any of their possessions..
Click.
Hah. See? I told you I didn't need any bloody keys to open this door.
Well, yes, I know you weren't questioning my abilities.
But still. I opened it.
Well? Aren't you going to come in? Or do you want to wait around out here for the kids to get back?
That's better. Close the effing door, will you?
...
Yeah, it's a nice place, I guess. I don't really care. Ryou takes care of everything, after all. I just pick up the food for him to eat. Guess he couldn't help being my landlord even without me living inside him, huh?
...
Want a drink?
Yeah, I've got that. But, seriously, Marik. Who in their right mind would want plain old beer when I've got... this!
That's right. Real alcohol. None of that beer-and-wine shit here. Sake, vodka, scotch, whiskey... I've got it all.
Except for maybe tequila. The store only had, like, one bottle of the stuff, and it would've been damned tricky to take, with all this other stuff...
Hey! Get your hands off of that! Just because it looks like a beer bottle doesn't mean it is! Besides, that's mine. I went and stole all this shit. You can at least let me have whatever brand of poison I want.
No, being a guest does not mean you can have whatever you want to drink. You can have the vodka. It's a good strong brand, anyway. I made sure of that.
Why? Because, when I was little, I was practically weaned on beer. I need the stronger stuff to get anything out of it.
...
You're not 'allowed' to have beer?
Gods, Marik, what kind of a yami are you? Listening to whatever your light tells you? Ugh. That sounds like that damned motherfucking Pharaoh and his hikari.
So, you scared that Malik's gonna be pissed off with you for gettin' drunk? That's so scary, especially since an angry Malik's alot like an angry teddy bear.
...
Oh. You're just afraid of not getting any from him, huh? Yeah, fine, fine, whatever. I know that's what you're afraid of. Hmph. At least I don't freak out so I can get laid by my hika--
...
Just drink the goddamned thing. It's not like Malik's going to be home any time soon. Besides, by then, I'm thinking we'll be too drunk to care.
...I don't care what you drink. Just pick something already!
Shut the hell up, Marik. He doesn't even want me, unlike your little kohl-lined whore. And, besides, I've just gotta wait until he gets his little heart broken by that girl of his an--
HEY! Gimme back my scotch! You can not have that!
No, I'm not going to take that back. Malik's a makeup-coated slut, and you'll do anything to get in the sack with hi--
GAH!
Great, Marik, just great. You just wasted half a bottle of booze, you fucking spaz. And you poured it all over me.
If Ryou didn't keep the knife drawer locked with a crazy security system, I'd grab one of them and give you a few carvings to match the ones on your ba--
HEY! You fucking bastard! What'd you throw that fo--
Aw, shit. You know you aren't supposed to down a bottle of whiskey that fast, right? You're supposed to fucking savor it, you idio--
GAH!
Get the hell off my back, you horny son of a bitch! For the love o-
Gimme back my booze! Why the hell do you keep stealing it?
Fuck!
STOP TAKING YOUR GODS-DAMNED CLOTHES OFF, YOU FUCKING WHORE!
NO, YOU ARE NOT A DAMNED STRIPPER!
HEY! GIVE THAT BACK, YOU FUCKING HORNY BASTA--
...
Aw, fuck. Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck shit fuck.
Marik, go get some clothes on.
Hell yes, that's a now! Malik and Ryou are right outside the door, you moron! They're dense, but even they can put two and two together and figure out what we've been doing!
...Okay, so they're probably dumb enough to fuck that up, too. I'll go with you on that!
Just go put some fucking clothes on, and stay inside! For Ra's sake...
Click.
Yeah, what do you bitches want?
Oh, come on! Can't you say anything? Or are you too fucked up in the head to speak? Come on! I'm waiting!
MARIK! I told you, STAY IN THE BACK!
Aw, fuck.
Well, you were right, Marik, you fucked-up son of a bitch. We've gone and pissed off your little hikari now. You win.
Well, look, you little bitches better scram, unless you want to get fucked by Marik. And I'm probably gonna end up pretty fucked up myself, with this booze and all.
So you'd better fuckin' get outta here, 'kay?
Aww, fuck fuck fuck! See you kids in the morning, okay? Just go fuck off somewhere else for tonight!
Click.
Snap.
Fssh.
Okay, Marik. Get your hands off the fucking alcohol and get in the chair.
What's with the rope?
Oh, nothing. I'm just gonna fucking tie you there so you don't screw anything else up toni--
GAH!
GET OFF MY BACK!
Paradocs: o.0 Yeeah.... Um...
