"I don't mind being confined
to LA state prison
cause I would drive with DUIs
I cause some collisions
they tell me now that my appeal has been denied
and that the sentence is now bonified
how bout a chill that wont insult my severe pride
like somewhere on upper west side
with a waterslide oh no
even though they say I'm shady
I am really so refined
I need a cleaning lady
I cant do time
Robert Blake and O J Simpson
they both get off scott free
I drive without a license
they throw the book right at me
it sucks to the highest degree
haaa haaa
I went ape on a sex tape
the guys all went ga ga
now I must make my jail escape
I miss my Chihuahua
my friend Nicole drove down that freeway the wrong way
she'll probably get parole then float away
because she ways zero
even though I've got the glamour
even though my clothes are fab
they throw me in the slammer
Brittney gets rehab??
They put me in big house
sounds like a movie pitch
heiress goes up the river
ends up as somebody's b#tch
they can't do this to me I'm rich
aaah aaah
and now I am digging a ditch
aaah aaah
my roommates a woman named Mitch" sang an animated Paris Hilton on screen.
"That was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen," Morgan said.
"So, Paris have you learned your lesson?" asked Mickey Mouse on screen.
"Sure have Mickey; I'll never drive without a license again."
"Sometimes I have to remind myself it was real," I said turning over my crown.
I was babysitting again and I invited my friend Morgan over to help. I hid the defect Pooh video so Morgan wouldn't suck us back in. Ashley was dancing with Clay looking very elegant in their regal clothes from the World of Disney. We all had on our royal clothes and crowns we could hardly wear them without our parents snooping. It had been a whole month since we went to the World of Disney and every time I babysat it took all our will power to not put the tape in.
For my birthday I got blonde highlights and other stuff but now I looked good with my gold crown.
"You are right this Paris Hilton Goes to Jail is totally screwed up, Disney is off their rocker," I said.
My cell phone rang and I dashed downstairs and answered it.
"So, Tristan(Laugh) Are you on…(snicker) um.. The Black Pearl? (full-blown hysteria)" my mom giggled.
"What do want?"
"I was just making sure… (snicker) Maleficent wasn't attacking you!"
"Look mom I"
"I'm sorry, your Dad called and said the line was not in service and it did the same to me so I called your cell."
"Love you, Bye!"
"BYE"
"Tristan!" Morgan shouted.
I heard glass shattering and screaming from upstairs. When I got up there a yellowish electric shock was sucking half the room in.
"What happened?" I screamed hanging on to the banister.
"I spotted a Pooh movie I'd never seen and put it in. Then, even though the tape was out it showed Paris and Mickey, then Mickey asked me if I would help them fight and the shock came!" she said slipping away from the armoire.
"AHHHH!" she screamed being sucked in.
"On the count of three let go!" I screamed to Ashley and the boys.
"ONE!"
"TWO"
"Here we go again!"
"THREE"
We let go and disappeared into the television.
