(This story takes place during season 3 episode 7 of Queer as Folk. It starts off the morning after the pivotal scene between Michael and Ben where Michael in an effort to get Ben to stop using steroids threatens to infect himself with HIV using one of Ben's discarded needles. This story was co-written by me and my friend Jet at my yahoo group, QasFSpankingRPG I wrote all of Ben's and Debbie's parts, and she wrote Mikey's parts. Permission to post has been given, and I hope you enjoy reading as much as we enjoyed writing it! )
Michael almost couldn't believe his plan had worked. Not that his plan had been so much a plan, as a gut reaction to his anger over Ben's steroid use. He'd wanted to break through to Ben, and apparently he had, because Ben had just told him that he was going to stop using the steroids. Not only that, but he also invited him to the memorial service. Michael gave Ben a look of relief mixed with love as he said, "You sure you want me there?"
Ben brought Michael to him in a warm embrace, "I want you with me always Michael. You should know that, just like you should know not to ever scare me like that! What you did last night was risky and dangerous on so many levels. What if you'd have slipped? What if... what if..." Ben trailed off shaking his head as the thoughts of him being the cause of Mikey contracting HIV scattered his thoughts to a point he could no longer speak.
Michael hugged him back, closed his eyes, and took in his scent as he felt a peace wash over him that he hadn't felt in weeks. He hated fighting with Ben. It always left him feeling almost queasy. His mouth quirked up in a little smile as Ben trailed off. Michael could hear the genuine fear in Ben's voice and thought it served him right for all the worrying he'd caused Michael over the past few weeks. Michael hugged Ben tighter and said, "But it worked, and that's what really counts."
Ben was comforted that Mikey had forgiven him and enjoyed the embrace that they were sharing, but when Michael commented that his tactic to get Ben to quit using steroids was more important than keeping himself safe, Ben was outraged. He grabbed Mikey by the shoulders and held him at arm's length, "But it worked? Mikey, I know what I was doing was in no way right, but putting yourself in danger should never be considered okay in any situation. And if you think that your behavior last night was acceptable because 'it worked' you're sadly mistaken. As a matter of fact, since you seem to think making bold gestures to get your point across is the best way to deal with a situation, perhaps I should employ a similar tactic to make you realize how much you scared me," without another word, Ben took a hold of Mikey's bicep and started to drag him towards the bed a few feet away.
Michael lost his smile as Ben pulled him out of the hug, and was surprised at the amount of anger and frustration on Ben's face as he let him know what he thought of last night's events. Michael shook his head no a fraction of an inch when Ben said he should 'employ a similar tactic', thinking that didn't sound good. Michael let himself be pulled towards the bed and said with a slightly raised voice, "Me putting myself in danger? What about you? You were the one putting that shit in your body every day. You should be thanking me for scaring you, if that's what it took to make you quit!"
Ben didn't say a word as he stopped in front of the bed and began unbuttoning and unzipping Michael's pants. His hands were nimble as he had done this to Michael on several occasions in the past albeit not for the intended purposes this morning. With a quick gesture, Ben yanked down Michael's pants and took hold of his arm once more, "Like I said Michael, I wasn't right, but at least I can realize that fact. And you know what? You're right it did work, but two wrongs still don't make a right."
Michael stood still while Ben was undoing his pants, not quite sure what to make of it, and slightly apprehensive about the whole situation. But he was also still pissed and was never good at keeping his mouth shut. "Well maybe I think they do!"
He tried to pull his arm away and added, "And what the fuck do you think you're doing?"
Ben held his grip tightly enough not to let Michael get away from him as he stated, "What am I doing? I'm going to show you just how much I never want to see you compromising your safety to make a point to me again," Ben didn't wait for a reply as he sat on the bed's edge deftly yanking Michael down over his knees.
Michael landed over Ben's lap with a surprised grunt. His eyes went wide with shock at what this position implied. He was too surprised to struggle. He craned his head back over his shoulder to try and see Ben's face and gave him a nervous, "Ben?"
Ben pulled Michael forward so that he could wrap his leg around both of Mikey's as he secured Mikey's hip into his stomach to further immobilize Michael. His expression never changed remaining concentrated on the task at hand as he brought his palm down on Michael's upturned bottom with a deafening smack.
Michael could only see Ben's profile from his position, but he didn't like what he saw. The only thought Michael's brain could come up with was, 'He's not fooling around - he's serious' and that thought was confirmed as he felt himself being secured in position. Michael gasped at the sound and feel of the first swat. It brought him out of his shock and he yelled, "Ow! What the hell?"
Ben huffed, "What the hell you ask? I'm pretty sure you get the gist from the position you're in. And if not, I'm sure you will get it here momentarily." As Ben finished speaking he let his hand do the rest of the talking as he came down with a steady barrage of hard slaps to Michael's bottom.
Michael, never being the quiet or stoic type, squirmed to get up and yelled through the swats. "Yeah I get the gist, what I don't get is why you think you can do it! Ow damn it that really hurts! You can't fucking spank me like I'm some little kid, I'm your partner! Ouch Ben! Knock it off!"
Ben didn't stop, and in fact started coming down harder with faster swats as he responded, "I'm treating you like your acting, and I will not knock it off until I know that I've gotten through to you how important your safety is to me! Do you know what that would have done to me if you had accidentally jabbed yourself with one of my infected needles and really got infected? What it would have done to your mom and the rest of your friends to find out?"
Michael had trouble believing this was happening in the first place, but as the swats kept coming, and as he realized his squirming wasn't getting him anywhere, the pain went past the point that he could easily push it aside. He also couldn't ignore Ben's words as his mind flashed on what his Mom would look like if he had to tell her he was positive. Wanting Ben to stop, both because the pain was getting to him, and because he wanted a chance to explain, Michael put his hand back to try and cover as much of his ass as he could. His voice was an octave higher then usual, showing the strain of keeping it level, as he yelled, "I wasn't really going to do it! I just wanted to make you think!"
Michael's hand was effective on blocking one swat before Ben's other hand had grabbed his wrist and effortlessly pulled it away from the target zone and up to the small of his back for safe keeping. Since Ben had to stop momentarily, he took the opportunity to also pull down Michael's boxers to see the progress he was making. Michael's ass was a nice shade of pink, and Ben thought to himself that it would be a deep shade of red by the time he truly got through to Michael as he began spanking again responding, "Well you did make me think Michael, and now it's time for me to make you think."
Michael strained to keep his hand covering his ass, but was no match for Ben's strength, and soon found himself completely restrained. He felt his boxers sliding down his butt and found he was actually embarrassed about it. Ben had seen him nude hundreds of times, but for some reason the thought of Ben looking at his ass right now made him blush and struggle to get up with renewed vigor. The first slap to his bare ass made him jerk in response to the increased sting. "Noooo! Ben, come on. Ow! Can't we... Ow! Can't we talk about this?!"
Ben continued to reign down hard smacks to Mikey's upturned bottom as he spoke in a clam level voice, "We are talking about this, and right now my hand is speaking. I just hope you're listening to what it has to say otherwise I think we've got a long conversation ahead of us."
Michael shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut trying to understand how Ben could be hurting him like this. Michael's feet drummed on the floor in frustration at not being able to get himself free from Ben's grasp. "You're hand isn't talking, it's hitting!"
Ben sighed hating to hear Michael in pain but knew he couldn't stop now that he'd already begun. He slowed spanking slightly as he spoke, "This isn't the way I wanted it to be Michael, but I feel you've left me no choice. Your disregard for your own safety and your lack of care concerning that fact really disturbs me." As the events of the night before played over in his head the swats increased in tempo and strength, "You need to know this wasn't some game you could play to get what you wanted. I love you Michael, and unfortunately, right now, this is the way you're making me show it."
Michael's view of the comforter blurred as he felt tears forming in his eyes because of the things Ben had said. His throat felt tight and his voice was low and quiet as he said, "I know it's not a game." He felt the first tears slide down his face and he said, "Ben... Ben please... I get it okay? I get that you're pissed. Please stop."
Ben continued to pepper Michael's ass with stinging swats as he replied, "I'm not doing this because I'm pissed Michael, I'm doing this because you scared the crap out of me! Your actions have consequences, and believe me this is far better than the alternative. So no, I'm not going to stop until you can tell me why I should."
His ass was burning, and each new swat seemed to add to the pain. With more tears coming down his face and his voice unsteady, Michael said, "I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry I scared you. Just please stop."
Ben sighed in dismay, "I wish I could stop, but that's not the answer I'm looking for from you, and you know it. You can say you're sorry all day long, but if it's just to get me to stop spanking you, I'd be doing you a disservice. You need to tell me why you deserve this for more than just scaring me."
Not getting the response he'd wanted from Ben, Michael lay his head down on the comforter and gave in to his emotions and just cried for a few seconds with big shuttering breaths. Michael knew what Ben wanted to hear, but it was one thing to know what you'd done was wrong, and something else entirely to admit it to your lover who was currently smacking your ass. Because admitting he was in the wrong would justify Ben's actions, and he hated what Ben was doing to him. Michael's head came back up at a particularly hard swat and he yelled out, "I'm sooooorry! I don't know what else to say! Please Ben!"
Ben stopped momentarily letting his hand brush gently across the seared flesh as he looked down at Michael with sorrow in his eyes, "You and I both know that you know what needs to be said Michael, and if we have to stay in this position all day, we will, but before you get up off my lap, you're going to tell me why I felt the need to put you over it in the first place." As soon as he'd finished speaking he began spanking once more.
Michael took a deep breath as the swats stopped and listened to Ben. He felt his stomach churn at Ben's words and tone. There was no doubt in Michael's mind that Ben was serious, and there was also no doubt in his mind that he was in a losing battle of wills because no way could his rear handle being smacked all day. He yelped as the spanking started again. A few seconds into it Michael gave in and tried to get out through his crying, "You're right. It was dangerous. It was wrong of me, and I won't do it again!"
Ben stopped swatting as he spoke, "I'm glad you've decided to swallow your pride and admit what you did was wrong. And just to make sure you're never going to do it again, I'm going to give you twenty more swats to let what's happening here really sink in." As soon as he'd finished speaking he came down with a slow mantra of hard slaps. Ben wanted to make sure these last twenty spanks would be most memorable.
Michael shook his head no upon hearing that Ben wasn't done. When the first hard swat landed Michael yelled out in pain and his body jumped involuntarily trying to get away from the burn. He yelled frantically, "It has sunk in! Ahh! It has! I swear! Ow! It won't happen again! Shit! Ben I promise, please no more!"
Mikey's pleas fell on deaf ears as Ben continued to reign down blow after blow. It pained Ben deeply to hear Mikey scream out in pain and know that he was the one causing him to do so, but he was a man of integrity and would not cave in no matter how much he wanted to stop.
Michael was too distraught to do much besides cry and yell mostly incoherent apologies while Ben finished the spanking.
Ben released his grip on Mikey's wrist as the twentieth swat landed. He laid his hand down gently on Michael's scorched bottom rubbing it up and down to comfort the abused flesh. He was just as glad as Michael was that the spanking was over as he whispered down to Michael, "I love you Michael, and I hope that you know I'd never want to hurt you. Just if anything were to happen to you…" Ben trailed off as tears of his sadness pricked his eyes at the thought of Michael dying with his sickness overwhelmed him.
As soon as the spanking was over, and Michael felt his wrist released, his whole tense body stopped struggling to get away and slumped down over Ben's lap. His crying became less distraught at Ben's gentle touch and words. The room was quiet for a few minutes while Michael tried to catch his breath and calm down. Once he could think straight he asked in a subdued voice, "Can I get up?"
Ben helped Mikey up as he stood shakily. Ben didn't want him to leave him so quickly and pulled him to him as he stood as well. He pulled him into a hug and squeezed him tightly, "I know you probably hate me right now, and I can understand if you do, just know you mean the world to me."
Michael felt slightly light headed as he stood on his feet. He was enveloped in Ben's warm embrace, but instead of hugging back, he put both of his hands on his rear to assess the damage. Having never been spanked as an adult, he was amazed at how warm it was to the touch, and he found that rubbing didn't really help take the pain away. His first thought after Ben's comment was that he did hate him, but deep down he knew he was finding way too much comfort in the hug for that to be true. He sniffed and said, "I think I want to just be alone for a while."
Ben loosened his grip on Michael as he placed a soft kiss on his forehead, "I would stay here with you all morning if you wanted me to, but I can understand you want a moment alone, and I will give you your space. The Memorial isn't until 5PM tonight and, I've got class at 10, so I guess I'll get heading out. …I'll pick you up around four this afternoon okay? Are you sure you're going to be alright? I can call in; it's really not a big deal." Ben gave Mikey an imploring look afraid to let him out of his sights for fear of it being the last time he saw him. He'd never done anything so extreme with any of his other lovers, and he just hoped Mikey would be home when he returned this afternoon.
Michael refused to look into Ben's eyes, and instead concentrated on pulling his clothes back on. He decided that there was no way he was going to the memorial service, that he wasn't planning to be there at 4pm, and that he needed to get Ben out of the house so he could decide what he was going to do. He muttered, "It's fine; I'm fine. You should go to class."
Ben was worried by Michael's reaction. He caressed his neck as Mikey pulled his pants back up, "Okay. I'll go, and I tell you what, I'll take off a little early and be home around three, so I can take you out to that nice sushi restaurant across town that you like so much." The truth was Ben was on the verge of calling in just to make sure Mikey would be alright after such an ordeal, but he knew the last thing Mikey would abide would be him hovering over him. No, Mikey needed time, and Ben decided he would respect that.
Michael resisted the urge to tell Ben that he wasn't going to be in the mood to go out anywhere for a while and instead muttered to the floor, "Okay."
Ben smiled feeling a little better that Mickey seemed complacent with the plans he'd suggested, "Alright then, I'll see you around three." He pulled Michael to him once more to give him a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before grabbing his briefcase off the kitchen table and heading to the door to leave. As he was closing the door, Ben glanced back at Mikey who hadn't looked up at him during the whole interaction; he felt like a heel for hurting Mikey, and he hoped that he would be able to make it up to him later.
Michael waited until the door was closed and then took a deep breath of relief knowing that he could now think things through alone. His first impulse was to lay down on the bed pull the covers up over his head and pretend that none of it had happened. But he knew that wouldn't solve anything. Instead he started pacing around the living room and thought about all of it.
'I can't just let Ben spank me and not do anything about it. It's just... wrong. He had no right to do that, no matter what I did. It fucking hurt. It still fucking hurts, and it was humiliating! Bastard.'
Michael stopped in his pacing to rub his behind which wasn't doing so well with the jeans chaffing with every step. He cringed as he thought about what Brian would say. He could hear Brian's teasing voice in his head, 'Mikey got spanked? Did it get you hot? Serves you right for being in a relationship in the first place.' No sympathy on that front.
'Ben's bold gesture is going to blow up in his face. Making me admit that what I'd done was wrong before he would stop? Asshole. Asshole who's built like a tank and used the fact that he's stronger then me against me.'
Michael kicked the couch for emphasis. Then he thought about his mom. 'Mom may be annoying, but she's always there for me trying to make it better when I get hurt. And she was really pissed at Brian when he punched me.'
He walked towards the front door thinking about how much better it would make him feel to have some sympathy at this point. And he knew his mom would be on his side. He could just see her telling Ben off, and letting him know there was no way in hell Michael was coming back until he promised never to raise a finger against him again.
Debbie had just finished making her famous ginger snap cookies that Vic loved so much. There was an I Love Lucy marathon coming on tonight, and she planned to curl up with Vic on the couch with a blanket and not get out from under the covers until the 6 hour marathon was over.
When she heard the door open she thought it was Vic and exclaimed, "Hey Vic! The sugar crisis has been taken care of!" She laughed jovially. As she turned she saw Mikey standing in the door way looking quite unhappy, and instantly her motherly instinct kicked in as she set the cookies down quickly on the stove, "Mikey? What's the matter hunny?"
Michael couldn't believe how good those words made him feel. He went to her and gave her a tight hug, and was surprised when he found himself close to tears again as he said, "Ben hit me!"
Debbie hugged him back until she heard her son say Ben had hit him. As the words left Mikey's mouth, Debbie went rigid as she squawked, "He what!" She pulled Mikey back to get a better look at him to see where Ben had hit him. "Why that good for nothing! How dare he hit my son! Nobody hits my son and gets away with it!" Debbie went to grab her jacket off the wall with full intent on giving Ben a piece of her mind.
Michael tolerated her examining him, and nodded in agreement with her as she started saying the same things he was thinking. When she walked away from him, and he saw her reach for her coat he asked, "Where are you going Ma?"
Debbie huffed, "I'll tell you where, we're going to that apartment and getting your things because there's no way my son is staying in a house with an abusive boyfriend! And while we're there, Ben better hope he stays out of my sights because I don't know what I'll do. How dare he lay his hands on you!"
Michael frowned and hesitated. He'd wanted his mom on his side, but he hadn't really counted on or thought about moving out. And now that he did think about it, he realized he didn't want to move out. He just wanted to make sure Ben knew he had been wrong to spank him and wasn't going to do it again. Michael shook his head and said, "I... I don't want to leave exactly.. I just don't want him to do it again."
Debbie gave Mikey a look of confusion, "Mikey, you can't stay in a relationship where the other thinks it's okay to hit you. If they do it once, they'll do it again. Take it from me, I've watched enough Life Channel to see how these things turn out."
Michael cringed as he realized the can of worms he had just opened. He didn't really want to go into all the horrible details with his mother, but now that she was up in arms about it, he knew she wouldn't let it go until he gave her a more honest explanation then he had originally. He looked away and blushed as he said, "Well he didn't exactly hit me. I mean he did hit me, but it wasn't like you think. It was.. He.. He spanked me."
Debbie didn't quite know how to react at first as her face softened, "He what? Spanked you… What? I don't understand. What would he do that for?"
"Because... well..." Michael decided this was not a conversation he wanted to have and started moving towards the door as he said, "Never mind. Forget I said anything. Ben and I will work it out."
Debbie's eyebrows crinkled in frustration as she moved in front of the door crossing her arms defiantly to stop her retreating son from being able to escape her questions, "Where do you think you're going? You can't just drop a bomb like that on me and expect me to just let it go. Now why the hell would Ben spank you? Or do I have to call and ask him myself?"
