Author's Note:
The Professor: Hello, and welcome to Ambrose the Book-Wolf and the Torchwood Professor's story, "Couple's Therapy: Case One". This case in particular is the relationship of Harry Potter and Fenrir Greyback. Interested? We would be.
Ambrose: Mhmmm. Now, so we need not be reported for not doing a disclaimer - Harry Potter and all other people, places, concepts, species', etc that are affiliated with the Harry Potter universe are the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling, and of course all those guys at Warner Bros. who do the movies probably own a bit too . . . Any and all other references to outside TV shows, movies, cartoons, books, etc, are not in any way inclined toward encroaching copyright. There we are.
The Professor: dons white coat On to the couch and 'how does that make you feel?'s!
Ambrose: Enjoy the story - it's the first of this series, so if you like it (and say as such) we'll continue with more cases. Read and review, guys!
(Chapter 1 - Start)
It was a cold day in England when Professor Jeremy Clarke was told by his secretary, Patricia (who he thought was a brilliant woman, and rather fetching too) that he 'might want to come take a look at this'.
"Why? What is it, Pat?" said Jeremy, looking up from his burnished walnut desk with his reading glasses still perched upon his nose - the notes he had scribbled that morning during a session with old Albert and Maisy Russell still clutched in his hand. He could only speculate why he had started doodling halfway through the session, but he suspected that it was because old Albert was as dull as ditchwater (and smelt like it, too) and Maisy seemed to have had her brian swapped with that of a ball of yarn.
"An appointment form I think you would be interested in - very interested in." He was - it wasn't often that Pat found any form's sent in interesting, since she had seen so much that even a couple of magical (the things they did with those wands . . .) dominatrixes had lost their appeal. He sat up (savoring the mobility and 'whee!' factor of rotating chairs) and, leaning against the door frame, outstretched his hand and plucked the report from her.
It was a single form, which indicated a couple of two - they had special sheets for moresomes - and there was an odd mix of handwriting. One was a rather cramped chicken-scratch, and the other an almost-ineligible broad lettered scrawl.
Sending a skeptical glance at Pat, who simply inclined her head toward the report, he began skimming the report. 'Date: the third of August, 2005' - three days ago. 'Sexuality: Homosexual', and Jeremy nodded - neither of the scribe's had been female, he could tell from the off - and then his eyes were drawn to the box in which the appliers listed their names. His eyes widened.
'Name: Fenrir Vucari Greyback'. That alone would have made Jeremy faint were it not for the fortifying gulps of whiskey he consumed throughout the day. It was, however, the second name, which gave Jeremy a sensation approximate to that of a coronary.
'Name: Harry James Potter'.
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" - and it was in the 'Ingoing' box when you came in? You didn't actually see them post it?" Jeremy was almost feverish as he chugged down a glass of his whiskey whilst sending an imploring glance at Pat. She nodded, just as she had when he had asked her the same question the last five times. He sighed heavily, and ran a hand through his graying hair. He seemed to take a long moment, but when he did, he had made his decision.
"Get me an acceptance form, would you?" He hated doling out menial tasks to employees, if only because it made him feel bad, but he doubted he would remain standing if he got up. Pat seemed to accept this, and with a clip-clop of her heels (which always made Jeremy think of horses - though in a good way) she went to collect the form.
Jeremy closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose - he could deal with a pair of country bloody bumpkins sexual history, but he didn't doubt that he'd have to skip over many parts of the examination process in order to avoid being ripped apart.
The story of the relationship of Harry Potter and Fenrir Greyback was a long and sordid one, having been dragged through almost a year of scathing Prophet headlines (though Potter's friend, Luna Lovegood, had become the deputy editor of The Quibbler and so they had struck back with the truth - though Jeremy doubted the veracity of any tabloid, and one that advertised food for non-existent animals was hardly going to be the one to change his belief). The story, or so it was said, went like this:
Boy meets Man.
Man is savage who attacked Boy's adopted-godparent.
Boy is saviour of Wizarding civilization.
Boy shags Man, not knowing who he is.
Man turns Boy into werewolf through sexual contact.
When Boy finds out, Boy gives Man bollocking of a lifetime.
Man manages to woo Boy using wolfish charm - or Dark magic, either one.
Man and Boy - who later becomes Man - say 'fuck off' to the Wizarding world and have public shows of affection anywhere they can think of.
The story of a lifetime - and it had been, for it had been Rita Skeeter's last before being carted off to Azkaban for fraud and libel.
The romance of a century - and it had been, with Greyback's very public proposal to Potter during a court case with Potter's adopted god-parent.
The relationship from Hell - and it had fallen into his lap.
He heard Pat come back in, and without opening his eyes, held out his hand for the form, saying, "Thank you, Pat." She replied, "You're welcome, Jeremy." and his eyes snapped open as, with sudden speed, he grabbed a pen and began to fill out the acceptance form. Patricia smiled. He did enjoy a challenge, he always said so.
Clip-clopping back to her desk, she began to clear out the Russell's next appointment.
(Chapter 1 - End)
Ambrose: I think that's a pretty solid first chapter, don't you think, Professor?
The Professor: Yes, I think we did quite a good job on that. By the way, readers, a cookie (or a name insert in the next chapter, if possible) for the first reviewer to figure out what Fenrir's middle name means. Good luck!
Ambrose: See ya next chapter guys! Read and review! Feedback is appreciated!
