Disclaimer: Alex and Casey aren't mine. They belong to Dick Wolf.
Okay, first of all, I know they are both out of character here; the point was the song, not the characters. It's meant to be humorous, not taken seriously. The song is Nothing from A Chorus Line. Obviously, this is AU. Casey is a law student and Alex is her teacher. And for the record, I don't hate Casey; I just enjoy the snark. Enjoy!
I'm so excited because I got in
To the law school at NYU
I mean, I was dying to be a lawyer
Anyway, it's the first of class
And we're in the classroom
And the teacher, Ms. Cabot
Oh . . . Ms. Cabot
Anyway she has us stage a mock trial
Just so she could see what we know
And she says: "Okay . . . it's a criminal case
He robbed a bank and he's got an affirmative defence
By reason of mental defect . . . okay . . . go!"
Every day, for a week
We would argue ethics
Arguing
In legalese
Every day, for a week
We would try to
Win the case, win the case
And get him off
And I thought long and hard about what to say
To see what I had inside
I thought and thought and thought and thought
And I tried, I tried
And everybody's firing facts back and forth
"He's not responsible, he didn't know better."
And Ms. Cabot turns to me and she says,
"Okay, Casey, what do you think?"
And I said, "Nothing
I'm thinking nothing."
And she says, "Nothing
Could get a girl kicked out!"
They all thought something
But I thought nothing
Except the feeling
That this bullshit was absurd!
But I said to myself,
"Hay it's only the first week.
Maybe it's beginner's unluck . . .
Isn't that how the saying goes?"
Second week
More advanced
And we had another trial
This time we prosecuted
Ms. Cabot, she would say,
"Very good
Except for Casey
Please try, Casey, all alone."
And I thought long and hard about what to say
About how to win this case
Yes, I thought long and hard about what to say
And I tried to speak
But I said nothing
I had said nothing
And Ms. Cabot asked me
What on earth was wrong
I couldn't speak and
Ms. Cabot told me
That I should quit
Now while I was ahead
And Cabot kept saying,
"Casey, I think you should transfer out
You'll never be a lawyer, never!"
Jesus Christ!
I went to church
And I prayed to Saint Bridget
"Send me guidance, send me guidance
On my knees."
And a voice came from inside my head
Coursing through my veins
And a voice came from inside my head
Here is what it said:
"Cabot is nothing!
That course is nothing!
If you want something
Go find another class.
And when you find one
You'll be an actress."
And I assure you that's what
Finally came to pass
Six months later I heard that Cabot died
And I thought long and hard and thought some more
And I cried
Because I felt nothing
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