This will be my first multi-chapter fanfic (and my second of any). There will be about ten chapters, but if it goes down badly then I'll just leave it. Hopefully it won't!

-Belle-


A door opened, and closed with a slam.

"Is she awake yet?" A voice demanded. It was eerily familiar. Then whoever it was must have paused as they caught sight of me, and I heard them whisper my name.

Suddenly someone was holding my hand. I twitched, and they said my name desperately, like someone gasping for air.

I need to open my eyes. I need to wake up. I thought blearily, but I felt safe here. I was drifting through darkness; the hurt was gone.

What hurt? Where am I? I felt the overwhelming urge to sink back into the nameless Black, but suddenly I was hit with a hollow, agonising pain.

I felt empty; incomplete.

The person spoke again, and with that voice materialised a name.

Damon.

I gasped and my eyes snapped open.

Bright. Silver.

My eyes smarted and I covered them with my free hand.

The hollow pain was still very much there, and I let out a quiet, strangled moan.

"Elena? Oh thank God." Another voice – Stefan's – said.

"Elena, take your hand away from your eyes," Damon said softly.

I did so, wincing slightly at the shockingly white light. Stefan's face appeared above me, his forehead creased in deep worry lines.

He smiled weakly at me and reached to touch my cheek. I closed my eyes, feeling every movement.

I mean I felt everything. It was like my skin was alive with every sensation in the room; every slight movement of the air, every tiny change in temperature.

I shuddered as I opened my eyes again. I hadn't imagined the strange brightness – the world was sharper, angular and more refined. I turned my head and saw Damon looking at me with heart breaking sadness. He gave me a small smile.

"What happened?" My voice was harsh and unnatural to my own ears.

With a flash I saw Stefan pulling Matt up towards the surface, I felt the burn of my lungs and my vision turning blurry.

I gasped again, but the air didn't feel like it did anything. A horrible realisation dawned on me.

"Am I dead?" I whispered. I looked at the faces of two of the people I loved most in the world. "Is… is this heaven?"

Damon grinned, but it faded quickly, and his eyes turned sympathetic. "No, Elena. This isn't heaven."

I coughed feebly. "Where am I then?" The hollow pain inside me intensified and a wave of some delicious scent hit my nostrils, and my stomach rumbled. It was a familiar smell, but I felt like I experiencing it in a different way to before. I fumbled around for a word that belonged to it, and then I went cold to the very tips of my toes.

Blood.

It was blood.

That delicious, mouth-watering smell was blood.

"No," I looked up at their grim faces. "NO!" I shouted, and I felt the beginning of tears behind my eyes. "I'm not… I can't be." For the first time I looked around me, and saw I was in a morgue. A morgue.

"I'm sorry, Elena," Damon said quietly. "But you're in transition."

"No." I repeated. "I didn't drink any vampire blood. I didn't. I know I didn't. You're wrong."

Damon turned and looked pointedly at Stefan, who shifted uncomfortably.

"Elena," Stefan began. "You didn't have a concussion. It was much worse. And Meredith... she helped you. She gave you vampire blood – she had no intention of letting you out until it was out of your system…. But then,"

"Alaric arrived." I finished dully.

Stefan nodded.

"So, I'm going to be a vampire." I blinked back tears. "I'm never going to finish high school. I'm never going to grow up. I'm going to be a vampire."

Damon squeezed my hand. "Are you going to be alright?"

I breathed in the fresh scent of blood and my mouth watered. "Just take me away from here." I whispered.

"Okay, Elena." Stefan said kindly, and promptly picked me up. I buried my head in his shoulder.


It was late. So late it was early morning. I was sitting on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around me and a blood bag clutched in my shaking hand. I stared glumly into the heat of the flames and attempted to ignore the salty smell of blood.

"Elena you have to drink." Stefan implored me. "You're growing weaker. It's not so bad, I swear."

"It's someone's blood, Stefan. As soon as I drink this, I lose what last shred of humanity I have. I can't. I can't do that." I wasn't looking at him; I was talking to the flames. Maybe if I stared into the heart of the flames, I'd manage not to cry.

Crying was too human.

I wasn't human.

Not anymore.

"Then you know what will happen. And Elena, if you want to choose that, I won't blame you. No one will take that choice away from you. No one."

I sniffed. "I can't leave Jeremy. Or Matt. Or Caroline. Or you. Or Damon." I scrunched my eyes up. "I just… I just want my last human moments to be lived out… a-alone."

"I understand. But Elena… don't leave it too long, okay?"

He left, and I was alone. Just like I wanted.

I just want my last human moments to be lived out alone.

I let the tears fall, splish-splosh, from my face.

I cried for the loss of my adulthood – I would forever be a teenager now.

I cried for the loss of my children – I would never be a mother now.

I cried for the loss of my humanity – I was becoming something evil and unnatural.

I cried because my little brother would outgrow me, and I would live for years after his death.

I cried because the blood was so tantalising, and I was growing nearer to ripping into it with every second.

I cried until the tears dried out, and then I stared stonily at the flames.

"Elena?"

I jerked my head up and sniffed loudly. It was Damon, standing in the doorway. His black hair was ruffled, and his hands were balled into fists at his sides. He was scowling, but the lines of frustration smoothed into an understanding grimace.

"Still haven't drunk it, hmm?" Damon strolled in and rapped his knuckles smartly against the mahogany desk that held the decanter of bourbon.

I shook my head.

Damon walked over and sat on the sofa beside me. I looked at him out the corner of my eye. He seemed to be experiencing a kind of… inner turmoil.

He closed his eyes, and opened them. "Elena, I know this really isn't the time, but… I need to ask you something."

I rearranged myself, so I was facing him. His startling blue eyes were wide and vulnerable, and they made my heart ache. His face swam in front of my eyes – I was growing woozy.

"Okay," I said softly.

Damon looked away. "I guess you remember,"

Since I'm possibly a dead man, can I ask you a question?

Yeah, of course…

If it was just down to him and me, and you had to make a choice… who got the goodbye. Who would it be?

I love him, Damon. He came into my life at a time when I needed someone. I fell for him instantly. I met him first. No matter what I feel for you, I never un-fell for him…

Hey, I get it. It's Stefan. It's always going to be Stefan.

I can't think about always. All I can think about is now. And I care about you, Damon. Which is why I have to let you go. I mean, maybe if you and I had met first…

Then maybe.

"Yeah, I remember," I remembered the evident pain in his voice. I remembered the hurt deep in my chest. I remembered the tears falling down my cheeks as I chose Stefan.

"I know this is a long shot, but… it doesn't change anything, does it?" He sighed. "It's still Stefan, isn't it?"

This was it. My last chance. I hadn't told Stefan I had chosen him yet. If I had any doubts about who I wanted to spend my life with – who I wanted to spend eternity with, now was the time to say.

"I'm sorry," I said it quietly, so quietly if he were human he may not have heard me. But he wasn't human, and he heard me. His eyes looked at me dully, and he looked so tragic it broke my heart.

I wanted to hug him, but I didn't feel that was the best idea.

"Okay Elena," Damon looked at me sadly, and then he was gone.

Then I was crying again. I was crying for every moment I had spent with Damon, the happy, the sad, the angry and the passionate. I was crying for the loss of his friendship and the loss of him as a romantic prospect. And then I cried because I could.

And then I ripped open the bag of blood and gorged on the ruby red liquid.


How was that? Am I ruining the dramatic moment? Yes?

Well, please review.

-Belle-

xxx