My curse

This is a poem from Duo's POV.

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing! I never will so leave me alone!!

My Curse

They think,

They think I am a person

Filled with happiness

The truth is I am alone in this world

I stay happy to keep my self-esteem and their self-esteem high

But through all I've been through and all

I've seen I'm filled with memories

Of death, sorrow, hunger, poverty, abuse

My happiness is nothing more than a mere mask

I've lost everyone I held dear

And now that I've made another space in my heart

For just one more person

That person risked her life for me

Maybe this is the way my life will always be

With ups and downs

But if I had the chance to change it

I'd change it now

And if I had the chance to go back in time

I'd save them all

But this is just a dream

No way of being accomplished

No way of existence

A dream belonging to a boy who just wants another chance to make things better

Yes the other pilots do have their own share of sorrow

But each share is a fragment of my own sorrow

Like a cell of an organism

Just a piece of a bigger being

I have the power of making people's lives better

Why can't I do the same to my own?

Why must I be cursed with the deaths?

Why must I interfere with my heart?

Why can't I leave it empty so that later I don't feel the pain?

It's almost as if I kill when I let them in my heart

As if my heart is some kind of poison like a plague

A plague of love and death

Maybe I should just erase the people

Out of my heart and mind

For as if instinct once in mind in heart as well.