AU. Set 10 years after Kurt and Blaine's Season 4 break-up. They never got back together, but remained best friends. As life unfolds, their old feelings begin to surface again. Sweet with a bit of angst. Blaine's POV.
I've Never Stopped Loving You
Blaine puttered around his house searching for his phone. He couldn't recall where he had misplaced it, but knew he had it earlier as he walked home from the arts center where he had spent the afternoon. After looking for it throughout his house, he opted to call it. As he did so, he heard his ringtone outside his front door, then remembered he had set the phone down on the porch swing ten minutes earlier when he had been juggling his backpack and other bags while keying himself into the house. Shaking his head at his absent-mindedness, he opened his door and found Kurt standing on his porch, holding the phone.
"I think you left this outside," Kurt laughed as he handed Blaine the phone. "Looks like you're calling yourself."
Blaine took the phone and let Kurt inside. "Yeah, I had so many bags of things when I came home, I set it down to get inside, then forgot it. I swear, Annie is gonna wear me out before we even get to opening night. Sometimes I can't keep anything straight. Charlie wants me to sort through all these costumes tonight so we can begin fitting the cast tomorrow," Blaine let out an exasperated sigh as he motioned to the couch on which sat the many bags he had carried home from the arts center that night.
"Oh, you may be worn out, but you love this stuff. If Charlie wasn't already the director of the show, you'd have applied to be director yourself."
"As it is, I'm just the assistant director which means sorting through costumes apparently. And you get to help me."
"Why?"
"Because of all your experience with fashion and clothes and stuff. I don't know anything about this sort of thing."
"What's to know, " Kurt commented as he pulled out a simple beige dress from one of the bags. "They're orphans wearing ragged smocks."
Blaine collapsed on the couch beside the bags and let out another sigh. "I do love this. I just didn't realize how much work I was getting myself into. Corralling some of those kids is like herding cats sometimes. Did I tell you we still haven't found Annie's locket that got lost last week?"
Blaine had been teaching drama and music classes at a local performing arts center for youth off and on for three years now and had recently been granted the job of assistant director of the center's upcoming production of Annie. After a few stints in Broadway productions, he found employment on Broadway to be sporadic sometimes, so had gotten supplemental work. Kurt had also done a few Broadway productions, but had not made a name for himself there either, also requiring himself to find other part work. For Kurt, this extra work had been occasional consulting contracts at Vogue. Both Blaine and Kurt felt fine with the fact that they had not become the big-name stars they had once envisioned for themselves, despite both attending NYADA, New York's premier musical theatre college. Now in their late 20s, they were both enjoying a balance in their professional lives - the thrill of chorus roles on Broadway while still doing other rewarding work on the side.
"Come outside with me," Kurt took Blaine's hand and pulled him out the door to the porch swing.
"Ok, why?"
"'Cause it's a nice night out and you're tired and the costumes can wait and you like to sit on the swing."
"You know me well."
"That I do."
They sat in silence for a few minutes on the swing beside each other, watching a couple of neighbor kids play hopscotch on the sidewalk in front of the house next door. It was dusk on a summer evening. Blaine relished this. Kurt sitting next to him, staying in his house, hanging out with him most evenings after work. He appreciated they had remained such close friends despite all that had occurred between them.
Blaine now recounted the events in their long, sometimes complicated, but enduring relationship. Blaine considered the year and a half they had dated in high school to be the best years of his life. He knows that sounds dramatic and sappy, but he also knows it to be true. He had truly loved Kurt, despite what he did to damage everything they had. When they broke up in the fall of his senior year, he was utterly devastated. Blaine had always hoped they would get back together someday. Actually hope is too mild of a word to describe Blaine's experience. It wasn't just hope, but more of a pleading with the universe, longing for some entity out there to hear him and reunite him with his soul-mate, as he understood Kurt to be. But that hadn't happened. Kurt had agreed to remain friends with Blaine, but said he wasn't comfortable dating him again. They had not only remained friends, but best friends. Always available to each other, spending as much time together as they had spent when they were dating. But they weren't dating. Kurt made that clear. They each dated other people and confided in each other about their various relationships. Blaine had dated a few guys, and some of them weren't half-bad, but none compared to Kurt. And he began to wonder if he'd ever replace Kurt in his heart.
When Kurt met Steven, a manager at Vogue, Blaine watched that relationship develop into something serious, much to his disappointment. When Kurt announced that he had accepted Steven's proposal, Blaine's heart sunk. But there was nothing he could do about it. So he watched the love of his life marry another man. He did so, while standing beside him at the wedding as his best man. It was on that day, that he dropped all hope of reigniting their past relationship. He knew all he had in Kurt was a best friend. It wasn't what he wanted, but it's what he would take. Better than no Kurt at all.
But about a year into Kurt and Steven's marriage, things seemed to go sour. Steven had been promoted to an executive position at Vogue and began to work long hours. They argued often as Steven became more focused on his career than Kurt. Steven eventually took to insulting Kurt about small things, then about big things, and this only got worse. Steven had refused when Kurt asked him to attend counseling with him in an effort to preserve their marriage. Kurt often called Blaine upset and Blaine could see how unhealthy the whole relationship had become. It was starting to appear less and less sustainable until one day, just two years into the marriage, Kurt called Blaine in tears.
"I'm leaving him," Blaine heard Kurt declare.
"Oh Kurt, what happened now?"
"I'll tell you later, but can I come stay with you?"
"Of course."
Kurt knocked on Blaine's door an hour later, suitcases in hand. They talked half the night as Kurt spewed about all that was wrong in his marriage. Since Kurt had moved into Steven's house when they married, it was on Kurt to move out. Blaine was the logical place to go. And now he had lived with Blaine for almost a year. He had considered moving into his own apartment, but eventually he and Blaine realized they did well as housemates so decided to make their arrangement official. They enjoyed cooking together. They relished their evenings together while talking or watching their favorite Disney movies. They even wrote their Christmas letter together last December.
A friend once asked Blaine, "Are you sure you two aren't together?"
Blaine answered, "Oh, believe me, I'd know if we were together. Kurt still maintains we're only friends and that's what we'll probably always be until we die."
"But you want more," his friend countered. It was not a question, but a statement. Everyone who knew Blaine knew what Blaine really wanted.
"Yep... yeah," is all Blaine could say. He didn't want to think about it further.
But there were times when Blaine could swear Kurt was flirting with him. This wasn't altogether new. A few months after their break-up, Kurt began to occasionally flirt with him. But those moments became fewer and farther between and eventually ended altogether. That is, until one night when Kurt was visiting Blaine a couple of months after Steven had received his big promotion at Vogue and was gone working late. This had become a common occurrence. They were sitting on Blaine's couch, after watching a movie - Parent Trap, one of Blaine's favorites.
"I just love that. Someday I want that," Blaine commented, gesturing toward the TV as the ending credits rolled on the screen.
"You want what exactly? A divorce? Kids who manipulate you?" Kurt laughed.
"No, I mean I want kids period. I love kid energy. "
"And that's why you teach at the center," Kurt declared. He turned to look at Blaine for a long moment and smiled.
This made Blaine slightly uncomfortable and he could only respond with a small exhaled laugh. Why was Kurt looking at him like that?
Kurt continued, "I just love that you're so good with kids. You're gonna make a great dad someday."
"Well, so will you. You and Steven both."
"Nah, Steven doesn't want kids," Kurt responded as he looked away toward the floor.
Blaine could tell this thought bothered Kurt. "What? Really? But you've always wanted kids."
Kurt sighed, "I know. Would've been good to have discussed that with Steven before we got married, I guess. But Steven says, absolutely no kids. Quote 'Life is too busy as it is.'" Kurt said, rolling his eyes, gesturing quotation marks with that last sentence.
Blaine didn't know what to say. He knew Kurt wanted kids, but he was now in a marriage that wouldn't permit this. And Steven's work now seemed to be so consuming, leaving Kurt alone most evenings. He felt bad for Kurt. He wasn't sure what to say.
"Kurt, I'm so sorry. Maybe he'll come around."
"I don't think so," sighed Kurt. He placed his hand on Blaine's knee, "but thanks, Blaine, you're a great friend." Kurt paused as he looked down and half laughed. "Maybe I should be married to you instead." Kurt then quickly stood and carried their popcorn dishes to the kitchen.
Blaine was dumbfounded by Kurt's brief comment. It seems sort of flippant, but also serious at the same time. Blaine stood up from the couch, about to follow Kurt into the kitchen to try to respond to his comment, although he wasn't sure how, when Kurt's phone rang. Kurt answered. It was Steven, now home from work.
"That was Steven. He wants me to come home now. Hey, thanks Blaine for the movie. It was fun as always." He quickly hugged Blaine and left. Blaine stood in his living room, confused. What am I supposed to do with that? He didn't bring the matter up with Kurt again. Kurt was married. He respected that, although he did believe he would probably make a better life partner to Kurt than Steven was turning out to be.
The real flirting began a couple of months ago. There was the moment when they were unloading the dishwasher together in their small kitchen. They kept bumping into each other and as Kurt reached around Blaine to put a glass in the cupboard, he pinned Blaine against the counter. Blaine knew Kurt could've waited to put that glass away until after Blaine had stepped aside. But Kurt pressed against Blaine momentarily and smiled at him intently. Blaine froze until Kurt moved away. What was that? They said nothing about it again.
Blaine often discovered Kurt looking at him when he thought Blaine wasn't aware. In the evenings, when they sat across the living room from each other focusing on their various work projects, Kurt sometimes watched Blaine, then would look down with a smile when Blaine noticed.
This had just occurred a few days ago even. Blaine then finally asked Kurt, "What? Why are you looking at me?"
"Oh, nothing."
"Nothing what? "
"I just like to look at you sometimes," Kurt waved his hand to the side in a gesture to indicate the incident was nothing remarkable. "Sorry."
"That's ok," Blaine responded. Then looked back down toward the book in his lap with a smile.
"What? Why are you smiling?" Kurt asked.
"Oh, nothing. I just like to smile sometimes."
Kurt chuckled slightly as he looked down. They continued to sneak looks at each other several times that evening in a manner that felt significant to Blaine.
When Blaine had a date with the sound technician from the Annie production last week, Kurt had questions for Blaine. As Blaine stood at the bathroom sink, preparing for the date, Kurt stood nearby in the hall, quizzing him.
"But how much do you really know him? I mean, yes, he works at the center, but how do you know he's not a psychopath or something.?
"Kurt, really? He's not a psychopath."
"But you said yourself that he's new there. Maybe he took the job so he could stalk little kids or something."
"Kurt."
"What?"
"I'll be fine. He's a nice guy. We're just going to dinner."
"I know, but..."
Blaine then turned to face Kurt. "Kurt, are you jealous?"
"Nooo, no. I'm not jealous. I just want to make sure you're safe is all 'cause you're my friend." Kurt shrugged with a big sigh. But Kurt's effort to sound casual in this remark sounded too contrived to Blaine. There was definite jealously there.
Blaine decided to play along though. "Ok, if you say so," he said as he walked past Kurt into the living room. "I have to go now. See you in the morning. Don't wait up."
However, when Blaine returned late that night, he found Kurt asleep on the couch. Blaine covered him with a blanket, then leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. Kurt had waited up. He wondered if his Kurt was slowly coming back to him.
And now, as they sat in silence on the porch swing with their feet up on a table in front of them, Blaine felt relaxed. He wasn't sure where things might lead with Kurt and, at the moment, he didn't fully care. He knew it was gradually heading somewhere...possibly. But for now, he was just content to sit with him. He always felt better near Kurt, whatever their status.
It was Kurt who broke the silence. "I..." Kurt then paused and sighed and almost appeared as though he might not finish his sentence. But then he did, "...have been thinking."
Blaine looked over at Kurt, curious. Something about this changed the relaxed moment they had been sharing. "Oh?"
"Yeah..." Kurt said almost inaudibly, then paused again. Blaine could tell whatever Kurt was trying to say was important. "I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for dissing you sometimes back when we were boyfriends. I know I took you for granted." He then turned and looked at Blaine. "I messed up. I'm sorry. I don't entirely blame you for what you did. In fact, I think I forgave you for it a long time ago."
Blaine could feel his heart pounding as he listened to Kurt's words. They had talked about what had occurred between them many years ago. Kurt had said he wanted to remain friends, but since he couldn't ever really forgive Blaine, he didn't believe they could ever get back together again. Kurt was final about that. It took a long time for Blaine to accept this. But now... was Kurt saying he had actually forgiven him? And had even done so a long time ago? What? This surprised Blaine and he wasn't sure if it changed anything between them, but it changed something in Blaine.
"Um, so... what are you saying Kurt?"
"I'm saying I have no negative feelings about what happened between us. Not anymore. Maybe I've healed."
"I'm glad, Kurt." Blaine then remained quiet afterward, not sure what else to say. He contemplated how to ask the pressing question that was burning through him. Does this mean Kurt might be ready to resume what had ended so long ago? But Blaine couldn't bear to hear Kurt say no, so he asked nothing.
Therefore, Blaine was surprised to see Kurt hold out his hand toward him. A hand held in the air just above Blaine's, seemingly waiting for Blaine to take it. Blaine looked at Kurt. Kurt smiled. So Blaine took his hand and was surprised as Kurt leaned in and kissed him.
Blaine couldn't suppress a smile as Kurt pulled away. "And what was that for?"
"That was for you." Kurt paused. Blaine raised an eyebrow at Kurt, awaiting more of an explanation.
Kurt continued, "'Cause you've always been it for me, Blaine. No one else has ever compared. Not even Steven. I've just been too stubborn to admit it. But I've never stopped loving you and I know that now. I guess I'm saying I want you back."
Blaine inhaled and held his breath for a moment. He couldn't believe what Kurt was saying to him - finally saying. His head was almost spinning as he processed the words he had wanted to hear for so long.
Because Blaine seemed frozen, unable to respond, Kurt continued the initiative. He stood up and raised Blaine with him. Still holding his hand, Kurt said, "We haven't had dinner yet. Will you do me the honor of going out with me tonight?"
"Uh, certainly." Blaine was now gaining his composure and a smile grew across his face.
"Good. It'll be our first real date in almost 10 years. " Kurt responded as he pulled Blaine inside for them to gather their things.
Blaine's head was still in a bit of a fog about all this. He couldn't quite believe the change in their relationship that had just happened in a short span this evening, but he was not about to argue.
As they headed out the door, Blaine turned to Kurt. "So...are we back together?" guessing he already knew the answer, but he wanted to be clear.
Kurt smiled as he leaned in and gave Blaine a long kiss. Blaine knew he had his answer.
