I can survive either love or insanity. But not both. And you bring me both.
VàZaki Nada
"You're bleeding all over my couch."
"Wait. My skin should heal in a while."
"I don't care. You're dirtying my couch."
"You know I'll clean it in the morning."
"Get off my couch!"
"Alright, alright! You're being awfully irritable today, woman. More so than usual."
Jane didn't know what exactly it was that was riling her up. It could have been her unbalanced hormones running through her bloodstream. It could have been the sight of stains on her newly reupholstered couch, something she spent her own money on. It could also have been the fact that there was a god in her home and he was effectively ruining her life with his presence. It was either one of those three – or maybe even a combination of all of them – but she wasn't going to waste what little energy she had to thoroughly consider each. All she knew was that she was pissed, and someone had to bear the brunt of her unexplained anger somehow.
He stood in the center of the living room, clutching his side as he looked down at her. If he hadn't been injured, Jane was sure that she would have found his countenance intimidating, but at the moment he looked even more worse for wear compared to Jane. While she had been in her room all day, rolling around her bed as the spams of pain made their chronic appearances, he had taken to the streets to explore the city by himself – and somehow ended up getting into a fight with a group of thugs. It wasn't that he couldn't handle them; because he probably would have killed them all with his bare hands if he could. If he could. With his current bound state, though, he was in no position to make threats – not to any mortal he so loved looking down upon, and especially not to her.
She turned around and walked back to her bed, but stopped when she heard him calling out for her. She peered over her shoulder to see him still standing; this time, his hand was no longer covering the cut over the side of his waist – just as he'd said, his skin had healed and the wound wasn't there anymore.
"Where am I supposed to sleep?" He asked, lips pursed to a frown.
Jane blinked. Once, twice. Then she shook her head and walked into her room. "Go sleep on the floor."
And that was the end of that.
It had been a rather lonely and uninteresting month in her London flat. Darcy had returned to America to attend to her ailing father, leaving Jane intern-less and friendless, too. They had kept in touch through Facebook and the occasional Skype call, but overall it was still quite lonesome. Erik was back in Sweden, taking a much deserved vacation after all that he had gone through. While he also checked in every now and then, it still wasn't enough to fill the gaps of Jane's quiet life. There was no company, nothing to liven her dull days of banal research. There was an effective ban on her pursuing leads or developments on Einstein-Rosen bridges due to the dangerous implications of having the power to travel the realms at will. She had already fought with everyone she could, but when Thor had asked her to stop, she finally relented.
Thor. The last time they had seen each other… It was such a bitter memory. It wasn't that Jane realistically believed that something could have worked out between them – because it really was impossible. Even after all that they've been through. He was immortal while she was so fragile. He was born to be a king while she was nobody. A smart nobody, but still nobody in the greater scheme of things anyway. But still, Jane had wanted to dream. She found that she had always been good at wondering about things that were beyond her. Thor was no different. In the end, he had kissed her cheek and given her the whole we can still be friends speech before calling upon Heimdall to take him back to his precious Asgard.
So, she really was alone – save for the kitten she'd picked off the streets while it was raining one day. It had been mewing loudly and Jane could not find it in her heart to leave the poor little thing behind. It was just her and the kitten – promptly named Darcy because of its black fur – living in the apartment, living off the hefty amount that private parties paid her to stop her research. She hadn't intended to be a sell-out in any point in her life, but after she'd personally seen the horrors – alongside the splendor – of the other realms, she wasn't too keen on risking the entire planet for her particular goals.
Her life for the past few weeks consisted of waking up in the morning, making coffee and toast for herself and preparing Darcy's nibbles, going through her e-mail for research proposals that would interest her, not finding anything, and then scrolling through Facebook and Buzzfeed and playing cat videos and whatnot because her life had been so disinteresting lately that she'd had to vicariously live it out through Vines. If Darcy was there – the actual human Darcy and not her new cat Darcy – she'd be laughing her pretty face off at how pathetic the routine was. Jane would also occasionally come out for a walk, when the weather report would say that there'd be no rainfall, and she'd come back to Darcy – this time the cat – meowing and wanting to curl up in her lap. They'd have dinner and fall asleep after another hour of scrolling through her newsfeed, Darcy on the couch and Jane in her room.
It wasn't the best, but it was good enough. And Jane – though not previously one to settle – was okay with it. Maybe it was the fact that she was almost thirty years old and almost everyone she knew was married or already had kids of their own. Maybe it was the fact that she's supposed to have a mid-life crisis and this is as close to a version of it she can get.
So, another day. Another morning of bleak coffee and half-burnt toast. Another morning of her pet rubbing itself over her legs while she looked through her laptop. Another afternoon of walking around her neighborhood. Another night of nothing in particular.
Or not.
Jane was familiar with the burst of light, the scent of ozone, the slight rumbling of the ground beneath her. She knew what it all meant: the Bifrost had sent somebody in her vicinity. She was on her feet before she knew it, running out of her room and to the parlor where she could see the balcony. The glass door slid open and then entered Thor, standing in attire, drapes and everything; Mjolnir in one hand. Still as golden and handsome as she remembered.
And then there was Loki.
"Why are you always on your…"
"It's called a laptop."
"Laptop. Yes, your terminology escapes me at times. With it you look at images of creatures similar to your Darcy. Why?"
"Because I have nothing better to do."
"Hm. I thought you were the woman of science – as inferior as it is to magic. Thor had spoken highly of your intellect, yet you do not seem to be doing much scholarly work."
Jane couldn't refute him because that was true. She was supposed to be a scientist. She was supposed to be researching on her specialized field. She was supposed to be living out her dream career, not lazing on the couch and ordering pizza almost every other night, and most certainly not acting as babysitter to a dethroned god.
But nobody always got what they wanted in life.
"Hm," she mimics, folding the screen to close. "And I thought you were dead."
Jane wasn't a violent person. She'd never seen herself resorting to brute force to get what she wants, but she wasn't good at keeping her anger in either. She had slapped both of the brothers before – and despite the hardness of their skin, she remembered the feeling of her frustration dissipating after the contact. This was her second time striking Thor; for all his might, he looks pained after the force of her hand on his cheek. Ha.
Loki, with his wrists bound with manacles that didn't look like ordinary handcuffs of earthly origin, laughed.
"Oh, I would hit you too if I knew what the hell is going on!" She turned to the younger brother and pushed him across the chest. He took a step back, his smile not leaving his lips and his brows up in light surprise or amusement. "You're supposed to be dead! I saw you die!"
"Your mortal's still as pleasant as ever," he regarded Thor. "Though, you haven't been to Midgard lately. Why is that?"
"Loki…" Thor said in his warning voice. Jane, too, was familiar with that tone; he had used it on her when he was asking her to stop her research. Then, Thor looked to her. The blue of his eyes softened, but despite Thor's calm façade, she was becoming more and more distrustful of the two brothers with every second that passed without explanation of their presence. "I'm sorry, Jane, but I need to ask you for a favor."
Even without exchanging any words, Jane knew exactly what Thor was asking of her.
"No—"
"Please, Jane."
"I'm not going to house a murderer!"
"To be fair, Thor's killed just about as many as I have—"
"Not now, Loki!"
"No, just no!" Jane's shout stood out and the two brothers silenced as they turned their attention to the small human between them. "How is he even here, Thor? We saw him die on Svartalfheim that day!"
"You refer to me as though I'm not here," Loki interjected before Thor could answer. "I'm quite well and alive, as you can see, Jane."
"Why do you think I'm asking how is that possible?" Jane crossed her arms over her chest, expecting a response from the god of thunder. "Well?"
Thor placed Mjolnir down onto the coffee table and used his free hand to push back his hair after the cold winds had blown his tresses astray. If she had been seeing him under completely different circumstances, Jane was sure that she would probably be melting and wishing Thor would take her in his arms again – but not now, no. Not when he was asking her to house his genocidal brother – and one of her world's most wanted men – for who knew how long and for what reasons.
"I had caught him in his pretense as Odin. He had been ruling Asgard under the guise of my father all the while."
"Then he should be punished for it! Throw him in the dungeons or something! He was there when I arrived in Asgard, wasn't he?"
"Again, you speak as though I am not here."
Jane ignored Loki's quip. "In case you've forgotten, Loki tried to take over my world! You know this better than most because you were there in New York! He can't be here."
"And neither can he remain in Asgard," Thor rebuffed. "I have not much of a choice, Jane. If the court finds out, they would wish for his immediate death. Odin, however remains lost to us, and it is only Loki who can bring the All-Father back to Asgard."
"And I had told you that he's just there," Loki said, feigning hurt. "Really, you've no need of me."
Thor glared at him before returning his gaze to Jane. "Please, Jane, give me a month. If what Loki says is true—"
"And it is."
"—then I shall use that time to find my father."
Nothing Thor was saying was convincing her, but after realizing how dull her life had become, she was almost considering it. Almost. There remained the fact that he could just kill her and escape – which would be more exciting than most of her days, if she was being honest to herself. Still, she didn't want to just die.
As if Thor could read her mind, he continued, "If you are worried that he would hurt you, Jane, he cannot. After New York, the All-Father cast magic over Loki as punishment. He cannot cause harm to any of your race, whether through his sorcery or physical means. He may plot all he wants, but none of his plans will ever come to fruition."
"A true curse," Loki commented, still smiling at her. He pulled his hands apart and the shackles adjusted and became separated bands on his arms. He flexed his fingers with a teasing grin. "I can still have my fun. I've found pain not to be a requisite of my mischief in most cases."
The older brother only shook his head. With a closer look, Jane could see just how tired Thor was from dealing with Loki. She could imagine herself just as exasperated – and she'd probably end up trying to kill Loki, too, if ever she took him in. But then there was something beyond her – always something beyond her – at play here. Loki was dragging Thor along in his grand conspiracy, and Thor wanted to give her the burden of his brother in order to undo some of the damage. There was something else Thor wasn't telling her, but she wasn't going to make herself too privy to their royal secrets.
"I guess I'm saving the world again," Jane conceded with a forced chuckle.
"Not just Midgard, but the rest of the nine realms as well, Jane Foster," Thor replied with a light smile and reached out for her hands. "I am and will always be in your eternal debt."
Jane took a step forward, and so did Thor, but neither of them made a move to wholly close the distance between them. So they stood that way, with Thor holding her hands in his, and Jane trying to convince herself that she hadn't just sold her soul to the devil.
"This is awkward," Loki said out loud Jane's thoughts. "Are you two going to kiss or what?"
Jane pulled herself back and felt relief wash over her at the realization that she hadn't felt anything at the loss of contact. She smiled, more to herself than for Thor, before speaking, "Are you sure he won't hurt me?"
Thor nodded. "He's just as human as I had been when I was exiled to Midgard, though he can use some magic. He's even bound to obey your word."
At that, Jane is perplexed. Whatever magic was at work, it was surely strong enough to protect her from Loki – even give her power over him. "He'll do anything I ask?"
"So long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, yes," Loki answered for Thor. Then, his voice dipped into a threat, "Once I'm free of you, know I won't forget anything you ask of."
"First of all, I don't want anything to do with you," Jane said. "Second, I'll probably make you wash the dishes."
Thor laughed at Loki's dismayed expression. He picked up Mjolnir and took a step back to the open balcony. "If it's alright with you, Jane, I shall take my leave to get started on my search."
"Take care," Jane called out feebly as she stared at the red of his cape.
"You as well, Jane. Make sure my brother behaves."
With another flash of light just as brilliant as before, Thor was gone from her small veranda. That left Jane finally alone with Loki and she felt her heart climb up to her throat with anxiety. She turned around, expecting Loki to be already making threats and demands and whatnot, but instead of him standing with his kneel before me, lowly mortals stance, he was bent over and patting Darcy the cat on her head.
"It would seem that this petite creature has taken to me," he said with a grin, picking the kitten up. Darcy then nuzzled her head to Loki's shoulder, their black hairs mixing together for a few seconds before Darcy leapt from Loki's hold.
Jane felt a flood of emotion at the sight of Loki and her pet. Mostly, it was a mix of terror and awe – and inadequacy. As though she had been ridiculed. What the hell just happened?
"She's like that to everyone," she snapped a lie. No one else had been in her apartment since she took in the cat – but Loki didn't need to know that. She would have thought she had hallucinated the whole thing had she not pushed Loki aside on her way back to her room. "Don't think you're so special."
Loki was okay . She didn't know how else to put it. Jane honestly thought that he would be worse, but it was like he was resigned to being put under her custody. He'd been agreeable, more or less – or maybe that was because he had to do her bidding. Not that she asked for much because his threat lingered at the back of her mind, but still. He was probably just making the most of his situation.
He slept on the couch without question and cleaned up after himself – with magic, but still it was convenient for her regardless. He also cleared out Darcy's cat litter yesterday while she had been out running errands. He had even cooked for her last night. She had wondered why he was behaving so well when she hadn't done anything to have merited his good will. They still argued over trivial matters, especially whenever she didn't want to deal with him, but overall he was okay.
So when he asked if he could go out for a walk in the city to stretch his legs, Jane thought, what was the worst that could happen? He couldn't harm anyone. He wouldn't expose himself, else the people at S.H.I.E.L.D. catch on to his presence and take him away for torture or whatever punishment they had in store for him. He promised her that he just wanted to learn the layout of the city they were in and that he would return. She told him to return anyway, so he was obliged to. Jane, reeling in pain and clutching over her stomach, couldn't think of any reason against his request because what could go wrong? He'd bugged her the whole afternoon and she found that she really didn't want to deal with him incessantly badgering on about how he deserved a little freedom. Maybe he did; he'd been nice to her. Really, what could go wrong?
She hadn't planned on him getting stabbed on the side.
"Get off my couch!" she screamed at him, stomping her foot in a meager display of authority. She also crossed her arms over her chest, pulling her robe closer to her body as she did so. Jane was too irritated – not at him in particular, but at the world in general – to explain anything to him.
"Alright, alright!" It was the magic of her words that eventually made him stand away from her prized furniture. He was in pain – even if only slightly – and he was wincing when he spoke, "You're being awfully irritable today, woman. More so than usual."
She really didn't want to deal with him.
"Where am I supposed to sleep?"
Ah, right, she had told him to get off her couch. It wasn't that she was feeling vindictive; she just really didn't want to bother with him, especially after he had found himself a fight and gotten himself knifed a few inches away from the gut. Really, she should have known something like that would happen.
"Go sleep on the floor."
And that was the end of that.
"I have a theory, Jane Foster."
She peered over her cup of coffee and saw him place his chin on his hands as he leaned forward across the table between them. There was something about the familiarity of his movements that bothered her. Jane could only think about how if anyone saw them, they would probably be mistaken for a couple.
"Go ahead," she prompted, replacing her mug on the table. "Is it interesting?"
"It should be to you. I don't care about the topic in particular, but I'd rather tell you of it." He had a cheeky grin on his features, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he laughed out loud. "It's about you and Thor. Why he left you."
Jane rolled her eyes. She had expected him to bring it up eventually, if only to rile her up for his amusement. She had told herself that she'd be mature about it and so she'd been mentally prepared for this. Or at least, she thought she was.
"He didn't leave me," Jane clarified. "It was a mutual decision, and we're still on good terms with one another. I mean, we must be if he left you with me."
"You can tell yourself that," Loki said, the mischief not leaving his visage. "But I had noticed Sif and Thor become closer back in Asgard. Closer than they've ever been in over a millennia, anyway, and Sif had been trying so hard to get Thor to notice her since we were considered to be children."
"That's nice." If Loki had expected her to start crying her sob story of all her failed relationships where the guy ended up moving on faster than her, then he had hoped for nothing. Jane was no stranger to being replaced. And Sif had been nice to her when she was in Asgard, so she really had nothing to be spiteful of. "I had wondered about them before. It's good that they're trying it out."
Loki seems surprised. "You're not the slightest bit upset?"
"Not at all." It was the truth. "They're of the same kind; they'll work out. That's the reason why I didn't see Thor and me being a feasible thing at all."
"If Thor had wished it, he could have made you immortal like him."
"He actually offered." Loki's confidence faltered at her admission, and he had looked startled as she continued, "I turned him down."
"That's interesting," is all he said afterward. Jane felt that he had wanted to ask why, but he was probably saving it up. She'd have to take note to prepare herself when he does. "You're really something, aren't you, Jane Foster?"
Jane, not knowing how to answer his question that wasn't quite a question, opted to take another sip from her coffee.
"Hey, how's my favorite mad scientist doing?"
"Hi, Darcy."
Seeing her friend on the screen was enough to lighten Jane's mood. She had been stressed – more so than usual – with Loki trying to find a way to convince her to let him out again. Seeing a familiar face that wasn't Loki's was refreshing, and Jane had to remind herself that once Thor took Loki away, she'd be free to return to interacting normally with her old friends. She'd put down a few of Darcy's calls because she had been preoccupied with Loki among other things, but Jane couldn't hold Darcy at a distance for too long before she became suspicious.
"You've been awfully busy," Darcy said. "You working on anything new?"
"Not exactly," Jane answered. Technically, that was true. She wasn't working on anything scientific, unless Loki was considered a science. He could be if he wanted to. She'd figure him out, too, if she really wanted to. "Life's just been weird for me lately."
"How weird is weird? Am I missing out?"
"It's been really weird."
A loud meow echoed through her room and Darcy squealed, "Hey, it's me! Darcy the cat!"
And then a loud crash. "Oh, god."
Then, another voice. "Darcy! You insolent and ungrateful – mewling quim!"
Jane groaned. She had told Loki to not enter her room and bother her, but she hadn't told him to shut up.
"Who was that?" Darcy the human asked, concern and curiosity flitting on her projection on the screen. At Jane's lack of response, she continued, "Oh. Oh! You have someone over!"
"I—" Jane started to say something, but then she didn't know what exactly to say to Darcy that would explain her present living situation. "I'll have this conversation with you when I figure things out. Bye, Darcy."
"Hey, wait—"
Jane didn't know how long she spent hitting her head with the pillow, but when she came out to the kitchen to find broken pieces of ceramic strewn over her tiles and Loki and Darcy the cat somehow arguing because there was a back and forth in how Darcy was meowing while Loki was speaking, she had started to think that she was becoming mad.
She could swear this wasn't really her life, that it was all just some twisted dream.
Loki was standing right outside her doorway. He couldn't move past the door because she had barred him from doing so, but he was still standing there anyway. He had been unmoving for the past few minutes, watching her try to sleep, and it was starting to creep her out. She would tell him to close the door, but then Darcy still hadn't come to her room to claim her spot at the edge of her bed. Finally, after another minute of restlessness and feeling harassed, Jane rolled over and faced Loki.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Can I sleep here?"
"What?"
"I asked if I can sleep here."
"Here, as in in my bedroom or here, as in on my bed?"
"It doesn't matter."
Jane felt like she was at the butt of yet another one of his jokes, but his voice was too serious for him to be jesting. She brought her hand up to rub some of the sleep away from her eyes. She should say no. She should have immediately said no when he first asked. But instead, she went back to her original question: "What the hell are you doing?"
Loki crossed his arms over his chest – his first movement since she saw him standing outside her room. "I'm making you know how it feels for me when I'm trying to sleep on your couch."
"By staring at me?" Jane asked incredulously.
"The eyes are still open."
"What?"
"The body. Its eyes are still open."
"Oh my God. Why didn't you do anything?"
"You explicitly told me not to do anything with the body!"
Right. She had told him not to touch it. She had freaked out and went to her bathroom to take a shower and then jumped straight into her bed because she didn't know what to do with a dead body in her apartment. He had offered to clean it up for her, but she had refused his offer and told him to stay put. Then, she had somehow convinced herself that it was all a dream. Or another one of Loki's cruel pranks. Either way, she had passed it off as something illusory that wasn't supposed to upset her.
But with the reminder of its realness, she couldn't deny any of it for much longer. Now Jane was staring right through Loki, and she didn't want to get up to go to the dead man in her kitchen because then she'd be freaking out all over again – and she was so tired from today's impossible events that she didn't want to stress herself out some more. So maybe that's where Darcy was, by the body, being the curious cat that she was.
"May I?" Loki asked one more time.
"Fine. But you stay on the floor," Jane replied numbly, thinking of the corpse in her living room. She'd have to deal with that in the morning.
She could swear this wasn't her life.
Walking around in London easily became one of her favorite things to do during the first week she moved into her new apartment. She had found it to be a great change of scenery and weather from the extremes in temperature of New Mexico and Norway. The balance of sunny and rainy was just what she preferred – and the fresh bakery two blocks away was another thing she looked forward to passing whenever she went out. She especially loved walking in her neighborhood in the morning and in the afternoon when it was nearing twilight.
At night, not so much.
"Is this not wonderful?" Loki called out to her. He was a few meters ahead of Jane, skipping his way through the street. "You better catch up, Jane!"
"Or you slow down," she muttered under her breath, which had fogged up as soon as she opened her mouth. Even though Loki hadn't heard her, he still paused and waited until she was next to him. He looked displeased at being told to change his pace, but he didn't comment on it. She stopped to adjust her overcoat and gloves. "It's freezing, Loki."
"The cold never bothered me," he said in turn. Jane had thought that he was referencing a children's film, but then she remembered that he probably didn't know of it. While Jane had on a few layers of clothing, Loki only transfigured his attire into more casual clothes by her race's standards. The only thing he had on that could fight the cold was a scarf around his neck. "And I was getting bored of your apartment. When you're out, I have no one to entertain me but Darcy."
"Darcy's not there to entertain you. She's a cat. I told you that you could go through my books if you wanted something to do."
"Darcy's more interesting than what passes as literature in Midgard. Did you know she told me of the time you took her home? She was almost crying."
"I tend to take in strays," Jane said, leaning to the wall of the building they stopped in front of. Then, her mind fully processed what he had just said. "Wait, what? You talk to Darcy?"
"Yes."
"You speak cat?"
"I speak all. It is a gift."
"What has Darcy been saying?"
"Most of the time, she's just asking for more food. Occasionally, she wants someone to rub her stomach and scratch a spot behind her ear."
There it was again: the feeling that she was being ridiculed even though he wasn't trying to embarrass her in particular. Most of what he said sounded like a joke – and if she hadn't had any previous experience with alien matters, she wouldn't have believed him. But she did. She believed that Loki really was talking to her cat and it was insane. It was something that would have brought her to a psychiatric ward if she was the one to have claimed to have the ability to speak to cats.
Jane pushed herself off the wall and turned back around to the direction of her apartment. Loki was quick to catch up with his long strides – another thing Jane wished she could curse because the universe always seemed to work in his favor somehow. Instead of dying, he had survived. Instead of rotting in prison, he was living with her.
"Can't we stay out a bit longer?" he asked with a frown.
"No."
"Can I stay out a bit longer?"
"No, Loki."
"Why?"
"You know why!" She was already hesitant to let him out again – especially after the last time he'd gone out and gotten himself injured. This time she had only agreed because he wouldn't stop bothering her. And she had come along in fear that he'd get into another fight or that someone would recognize his unchanging face. "We've already walked six blocks and I'm tired. It's midnight and it's freezing and you're insane!"
"The last one is arguable." The corner of his lips perked up to form a smirk. "It's such a delight, seeing you riled up like this, Jane Foster."
"I am not riled up!"
"But you are."
She was. She really was. Jane was trudging through the street instead of taking calm steps and she was huffing her way back to her home. It was obvious to her and it was more than obvious to Loki, but she had to contradict him for the sake of her principles, of her own sanity.
And she had two more weeks to go.
"Why are you on my bed?"
"You asked me to stay with you."
"You're lying."
"If you can provide an alternative explanation as to why I'm here, be my guest."
She couldn't think of any other reason. She had asked him to stay.
"Do you want me to leave, Jane?"
Did she?
"No."
Though she wasn't really doing any active research at the moment, Jane was still put in high regard by those in her field. After being at the fringes of science for so long, she enjoyed her peers' newfound respect for what she'd accomplished. Her last published paper on the gravimetric anomalies from the Convergence was taken well by many, and her name had become associated with the word expert . Aside from getting proposals in her e-mail – which she almost always turned down because of her disinterest – she also received invitations to conferences to be part of panels. The lodging and meals were always in a hotel and free, so Jane didn't know how to reject the offer.
It had also meant she'd be free of Loki for just three days, so there was that added incentive. He had asked her what he was supposed to do while she was away and she had told him to do anything he wanted. He could sleep in her bed, for all Jane cared – she'd meant to replace the sheets anyway. When he asked if he could go out for walks at night, she also agreed – because he promised not to look for trouble or to entertain trouble if it had sought him instead and because he was going to clean her entire apartment with his magic. Really, it was supposed to be great. She'd get to attend a conference as an invited guest, enjoy the perks of being a V.I.P. in her hotel, and she'd come back home to a spotless flat.
So when she had dragged her luggage out of the elevator, placed the key in its hole and turned the doorknob, she was expecting everything to be in control – but she still hadn't learned to not expect anything good from leaving Loki to his devices.
"What are you doing?" she screeched and slammed the door shut as soon as she was able to pull her luggage in. Then, she repeated, more infuriated, "What are you doing?"
"Ah, Jane, perfect timing!" Loki was in his customary attire, his green-gilded surcoat, leather boots and his ridiculous golden-horned helmet that grazed her ceiling every time he moved. It was his go-to I am here to take over the world get up and Jane was having none of his nonsense. "Come witness the greatness of my minions!"
The astrophysicist cum babysitter could only shake her head in aggravation and disbelief. She followed Loki's outstretched hands and saw that he was presenting those that were on her coffee table. Specifically, it was Darcy and three other cats she had never seen before in her entire life, all standing in attention. Standing. Cats weren't supposed to stand on their hind legs!
"What the hell am I looking at?" Jane cried, exasperated. She wanted to know why the fates have put her in such a position. She wanted to crawl into the hole she had dug up for herself when she accepted Thor's request to take Loki in. And again, she asked, "What are they doing here?"
"They are here to assist me in my plot for revenge against one of your neighbors," Loki said in full confidence. He brought a fist up in some gesture of righteousness as he continued, "As I took out the trash on the first night of your leave, I witnessed the man from the unit four doors down throw his bin of dirt from his balcony, and it had left a mess on the street! It was your responsibility to take out the trash that night and you would have been fined due to his insolence! I have taken it upon myself to defend your honor, Jane Foster."
Oh god, he really was insane.
"And you're going to do that with cats." Jane wanted to cry. She literally wanted to tear up in frustration at the parody her life had become. Her eyes shifted to the black cat she'd adopted herself and she couldn't believe that Loki had taken over her pet as well. "Why'd you have to bring Darcy into this?"
"Because she was willing to fight for your honor. I have recruited these three others in my walk last night. Jane, meet Hela, Jormungand and Fenrir. I named them myself. They are here because I promised them they'd live in the halls of Valhalla for their bravery to take on our cause."
"Our cause? Our? I don't want to be involved in this! I am not adopting three more cats, Loki! What are they going to do anyway?"
At her question, the mischief on Loki's face intensified. "Darcy, please tell Jane what your objectives are."
At his command, Darcy meowed. Quite a few times. In what Jane could only assume to be an explanation of whatever Loki had taught her.
Oh god, everything had turned to madness. Jane couldn't believe she had actually stuck till the end of Darcy's speech. She couldn't believe she had thought there would be something more to it than her cat trying to communicate. She couldn't believe that Loki actually thought that he was doing something good for her. She couldn't believe that she'd allowed for this to happen under her roof – that she was allowing for it at all.
In the end, she could only find it in herself to scream incoherently. She had left behind her luggage beside the door and stomped her way to her room, slamming the door in her anger. She blatantly ignored Loki's calls and the soft mews that followed because she was getting a migraine from the absurdity of it all.
Right before she fell asleep, she swore she could hear the sound of cats caterwauling outside her window, followed by Loki's maniacal laughter. And it wasn't the least bit soothing.
"Loki?"
"Yes, Jane?"
"The body's still in the kitchen, isn't it?"
"It is."
"Should we attend to it?"
"What would you do?"
"I don't know."
…
"Loki?"
"Yes, Jane?"
"Can you take care of it?"
"If you wish."
Breakfast, as always, was a mundane affair. Especially since Jane had started to count down the days before Thor would come back for his brother. Though, she had to admit to herself that she was doubtful he was going to succeed. From what she knew of Loki, he was meticulous and had plenty of contingencies for when he didn't get his way. She had a lot of faith that Thor would come through, but then all her faith surmounted nothing if Loki was as brilliant as she believed him to be. Insane, yes, but brilliant nonetheless. She had a hunch that Loki was just biding his time on earth with her, that he knew Thor wasn't going to find Odin.
In the mornings, Jane had her coffee while Loki had his tea. He preferred his drink cooled for two minutes before consumption and with one cube of sugar. He didn't like spreading on cream cheese when she offered him a bagel, but he had taken to Nutella, oddly enough. Loki had something of a sweet tooth, which Jane shouldn't have found adorable – but nothing. That was it. Jane shouldn't have found his preference for sweet things adorable.
"What's on your mind, Jane?"
"I was thinking of how glad I'll be when I'll finally be rid of you," she said. It was a partial truth. She would be thankful for the return to normalcy. "I'll enjoy the rest of my spinster days with Darcy and Hela, Jormungand and Fenrir."
"You are mistaken, Jane. I'll be bringing along my minions with me to the next realm."
"What? Hey, Darcy's mine—"
"Darcy has pledged her loyalty to me," Loki reminded her with a small smile. "And I am to honor my end of my agreement with Hela, Jormungand and Fenrir. They are to live the rest of their lives in the grand halls of Valhalla. Thor will agree to it, as they had fought for your honor."
It was too early for this level of incredulousness. "They're cats, Loki, not warriors!"
Loki only inclined his head. From the other side of the table, he was looking down on her as he defended his cats. "They are fierce in their own way. I am quite proud of them. I believe them to be worthy of being titled as warriors."
Jane only shook her head and took another bite of her toast. Still, despite her apprehension, she couldn't help but smile at Loki's antics. When Thor finally took Loki back to Asgard, she would probably miss him. They only had a week left together and while Jane didn't think of them as friends, Loki was still someone to her. To her, he was no longer just Thor's mischievous brother. He was Loki.
"Ask me, Jane," Loki said, making her snap back in attention and she saw that he was worrying his lower lip. "Ask me what's on my mind."
She took a sip of her coffee to clear her thoughts away from the motion of his mouth before asking, "What's on your mind?"
In a second, Loki's expression had changed. When he was playful just a while ago, now he was pensive. More serious. He was looking at her with a curious intensity that made Jane felt like she was being preyed upon. His green eyes darkened into a cloudy gray and she felt her throat parching for some reason. Was he forcing his magic upon their environment, making the air seem more humid than it was supposed to be? Was this his way of making her focus on him?
"I'm wondering, Jane," he started, licking his lips – and oh, did he have her attention. "If I am the one to offer you immortality now, would you accept?"
"How did you dispose of the body?"
"Do you really want to know?"
Yes. No. Yes. No.
She couldn't quite make up her mind whenever Loki asked her this kind of things.
It was a pleasant surprise when Jane had found out that Darcy was back in London, but it had caught both Jane and Loki completely off guard when she had used the spare key Jane had given her back then to open the door to the apartment and find them arguing in the middle of the living room. Darcy had stood there in shock and she had reached for the inside of her bag before any of them knew what was happening.
"Oh my God, Jane!"
And before either of them could react to the unannounced presence of Jane's intern, Darcy had sent Loki sprawling on the ground as the end of her taser connected to his forearm. It was almost like déjà vu. A powerless god at her feet and Darcy looking lost.
"Darcy!" Jane ran to the doorway and pulled her friend into the flat, else someone else would pass by and see Loki. When she shouted her friend's name, a meow resounded, and Jane could only roll her eyes as the black cat appeared from behind the couch. "No, not you." Then she returned her attention back to her friend. "But also you! Oh my God, what are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here?" Darcy asked, her voice pitching higher as she mimicked Jane's panic. "What is he doing here?"
"I could have explained it to you without you having to take him out!" Jane said in one breath. "Oh no, he's going to be so mad at me when he wakes up."
"You're worried about him being angry? What about me? I'm angry!" Darcy was gesticulating wildly in her agitated state. "How long has he been here? And why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell anyone? Erik would lose his mind—" Darcy paused, probably realizing her mistake in choice of words, but then she went on, "Where is Thor? And where the hell is S.H.I.E.L.D.? Do they even know that the Alien Terrorist of New York is here?"
"Is that what they call him?"
"That's not the point! He's a wanted man here on earth, Jane! And you told me he was dead!"
"He was, but he wasn't!" Jane didn't know what to say anymore. Between Darcy's hostility and Loki's unconsciousness, that didn't leave Jane with much space to actually think. She had been caught in a lie by her friend and her charge was knocked out on the floor of her living room. Jane took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself, to center her thoughts, but she only ended up feeling worse. "It's a really long story, Darcy."
"If you can condense an entire research in a two-hundred and fifty word abstract, then you sure as hell can explain the situation to me in less."
Jane sighed, knowing that she couldn't argue with Darcy there. She looked down to her feet and saw Loki stir slightly, his eyes were still closed but his brows creased together as the pain of the shock settled in. Before Darcy barged in, they had been arguing about ownership of the cats for the third time that week. Allowing herself to be a little bit vindictive, Jane kicked Loki by his shoulder – to which he reacted by rolling over. Ha.
"Well?" Darcy said expectantly. "Would you rather explain it to me now while he's out or later when he could kill the both of us?"
"He can't hurt us, Darcy. There's magic keeping him in line," Jane explained softly, her gaze back on the still god. Throughout his entire stay, he'd never once tried to harm her. At times, she had expected him to, based on his harsh gazes, but if he did, he never expressed his intent. "Long story short, Asgard's in trouble and Thor's dealing with it. He came here about three weeks ago and entrusted me with Loki. He's been here ever since."
"And those three other cats?"
"He took them in while I was out. He calls them his children," Jane shrugged. "He's very protective of them for some weird reason. Did you know that he can speak cat?"
Darcy frowned. "If he's using that weird blue voodoo on you like he did on Erik—"
"He's not."
"—then I will tase him again. And then I will tase you because I can't be sure if you're you."
"Thank you for your concern, Darcy, but I have this situation completely in control."
Now, if only Jane herself believed that.
In the end, Darcy left before Loki came to – which was a good thing because the god had wanted to avenge his honor with the help of her – not his, damn it – cats. He glared at Jane when she told him that he would be not exacting his revenge in any way, but she did not budge. And when he finally stood up only to end up crashing into the couch, she could not stifle her laughter.
Three days, Jane reminded herself. Thor would come back in three days. And then she'd be rid of Loki.
"Do you really want me to leave, Jane?"
Does she?
Yes. No. Yes. No.
Why was he asking such difficult questions lately?
On what was supposed to be their last night together, Loki had surprised Jane with a really nice dinner. She heavily suspected that he used magic to season – and not poison – the food instead of actual skills, but whatever was the case, it didn't matter to Jane. He was being nice and she was past the point of denying that she would miss his company, so she allowed herself to enjoy whatever Loki had prepared. Which had been really, really good.
When he requested if they could take a walk, again she couldn't deny him. It was supposed to be his last night on earth. Thor would come for him in the morning and then he'd probably never return because he'd be trapped in the dungeons of Asgard for a good millennia or so. Knowing that he was no longer going to be a free man come morning light, Jane gave in and so they went out after they had finished cleaning up their meal.
It was raining, but he had used magic to shield them from the cold droplets. This time, too, he had extended his magic to keep her warm without the use of many layers. He was being suspiciously thoughtful, Jane noted, but she didn't want to comment on it else he'd suddenly do a one-hundred and eighty with his mood. Their walk was mostly spent in silence – until they had passed by the closed bakery and Loki had spoken.
"I will be taking them back to Asgard with me, Jane," he said, so full of conviction. "You're well aware that I'll be facing Asgardian justice once Thor comes for me, and there is nothing I can do to escape it. If I am to be entrapped once more, I'd rather spend it with decent company."
"Will Thor really come for you tomorrow?" Jane asked. "He didn't return earlier, so that means he hasn't been successful so far. Do you think he'll be able to find Odin by tonight?"
Loki smiled, though it was bittersweet. "He will. They will find Odin in the king's chambers at the stroke of midnight. The All-Father will be lying on his bed, asleep, as though he had been there the entire time."
"What?" Jane couldn't comprehend what Loki was saying. "What do you mean he'll just find Odin there?"
"I meant exactly that," Loki replied. "Do try to keep up, Jane."
"But why? Why would you do that? Why would you give up your only bargaining chip? You know that they'll put you back in the dungeons once they find Odin." It wasn't making any sense – not that anything had been making sense ever since he arrived in her life, but still. "It's not you to give up your freedom like that."
"Why, Jane, do you actually care?" He let out a sardonic laugh. "And here I was thinking of how you must be finding me such a burden."
"You're not," she admitted. "I mean, at first, I thought you were, but you're okay, Loki. You're not as bad as I thought you would be."
"Hm. Does this mean you'll let me keep the pets in Asgard?"
It was her turn to chuckle. "If that will make you happy."
It still didn't make sense to her, though, why Loki was going to give himself up. So was he really just biding his time? Was there an underlying motive to his staying on earth? Surely he couldn't have planned for Thor bringing him to her – or could he? Had he known from the beginning that he was going to be stuck with her for a month? Had he planned to use her against Thor somehow? Why was she only thinking of this now, right before he was supposed to leave?
She shook her head and stopped in her tracks. "Is there something you're not telling me?"
"There are a lot of things I don't tell you, Jane."
"Is there something you're not telling me that I should know of?"
"None in particular."
"Did you plan for this?"
"For what?"
"For earth. For me."
He had looked dismayed at her question. "No, Jane."
"Don't lie to me, Loki."
"Even if I wanted to, I can't lie to you."
"Because of the magic or because you don't want to?"
"Does it matter?"
"Answer the question."
"I don't see any benefit to me withholding the truth from you," he said with a frown. "Why are you placing me at the end of your inquisition, Jane? I had asked you to step out with me so that we may enjoy what little time we have left with one another. I had thought you would want that."
"Why?" Jane couldn't help but ask some more. There was something still nagging at her, telling her to keep asking questions. Maybe it was the fact that she had been born too curious for her own good. Maybe it was the fact that she was just trying to make sense of his reasons. Maybe it was because she thought it would be the last time they'd see one another. "Why did you think I would want this?"
"Don't you?" Loki answered her question with a question. "I have a feeling that you don't want to be rid of me."
Jane shouldn't have been so affected by his accusation, but she had found herself agreeing somehow. There was something in her that was telling her to hold on to Loki. Maybe it was their new and reluctant 'friendship' or maybe it was because she would be lonely again with him gone. When it took her a while to formulate a response, she saw Loki grin.
"So I am correct."
"Don't be so flattered," Jane huffed, fighting for her cheeks to not redden.
"It's quite alright, Jane. If it were solely up to me, I wouldn't want to be rid of you as well."
Then, he turned on his heel and stalked back up to the apartment. Jane wasn't sure just what Loki had admitted to, but it made her flustered all the same. She ran to catch up to him – which was a difficult feat given how long his strides were – but she eventually was able to walk by his side. Like how they had started, their walk back to the apartment building was spent in complete silence.
Yet oddly enough, it was the most comfortable they've ever been with each other.
"Stay with me."
Beneath his words was something else, Jane knew. He wasn't just asking her to stay with him in the moment. He was asking her to stay with her for the immeasurable lifetimes to follow.
Yes. No. Yes. No—
"Okay."
It was all a blur. One moment, they were stepping into the apartment, and the next—
Loki had pushed her down to the floor, his reflexes much faster than hers. Before Jane could even ask what was happening, the sound of gunfire passed over their heads, and Jane squeaked like a mouse in fear as Loki covered her with his own body. It was all awfully familiar, how his body was pressed up against her on the ground; though instead of a desolate landscape, it was her home that had become a battlefield. Loki guided her and together they crawled until they reached the back of the kitchen counter. Whoever was shooting at them still hadn't stopped. And Jane, for all the danger that was present and quite real around her, could only think that this was all Loki's fault because nothing good ever came whenever he wanted to go out on a walk.
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," she kept chanting in a flurry. "Do something!"
"I can't cause any harm to humans!" he hissed in return. "They're firing from the building across us."
"Who are they?"
Loki closed his eyes for a brief moment and placed his hand on the ground. Jane didn't know what the hell he was doing while they were caught up in a storm of bullets, but when he opened his eyes, he didn't look as concerned as before.
"It's just one man, Jane," he said. "I cannot ascertain who he is working for because I have no care for your Midgardian politics and whatnot, but I can tell you that he is alone."
"And you can't hurt him. And he knows we're here. Oh my God, we're going to die."
"You're going to die. The bullets can't seriously maim me."
"Well, that's such a relief, isn't it?" Jane didn't know what to do or what to say. Sure, this wasn't the first time she's been in a life-or-death situation, but it was the first time she didn't have Thor to rely on. In his place was Loki, who cared for her in some way but Jane didn't know to what extent. He would still put himself first, of course, and it would probably do him well if he was rid of her. That would mean he wouldn't be bound to obey anyone. He'd be completely free to escape to the other realms, to escape Thor's justice. "Can't you just take us away?"
"If Thor is to take me back to Asgard tomorrow, that will leave you alone and defenseless here on Midgard. Whoever this man is, he knows who you are and he'll hunt you down, Jane."
"Then what am I going to do?" she cried out.
"What is necessary," he said before he disappeared in front of her in a burst of light. In his place was a dagger that was small enough for Jane to wield herself.
She didn't know where Loki had gone to or what the plan was. She didn't know what the hell was going on. Who was the guy trying to shoot at them – at her? Was he after Loki? Or was he after her because of her research? When Jane stood from the kitchen counter, her legs felt unstable; and she couldn't stop her hands from shaking as she clutched the handle of the small blade in her hands.
Again, it was a blur. One moment, she was alone in the kitchen, and the next –
She was plunging the knife into the man's back.
It had pierced his chest completely; probably passed through his heart given he hadn't even struggled. Jane, with hands still trembling, let go of the dagger and walked around the counter to face the man she had just killed. Her breaths were shallow and she was starting to feel lightheaded from the events of the past ten minutes. Her hands were coated with the man's blood, and there were splatters of red on her coat. She couldn't believe what she'd just done. She wanted to blame the adrenaline pumping through her veins. She wanted to blame Loki, especially.
When the god reappeared, he didn't look like he had struggled at all. Instead he looked at the flecks of dried blood that was on Jane before turning to the now dead man that was leaning on the kitchen counter.
"I knew you'd come through, Jane!" he said in a congratulatory tone that almost repulsed her. "It was kill or be killed. Don't be too harsh on yourself."
He was about to touch the corpse when Jane shouted, "Don't! Don't touch him. Don't do anything, Loki. Oh my God, this is all your fault."
"Me?" He feigned a look of hurt. "What did I do? I helped you!"
Nothing. Everything. Jane wasn't so sure. All Jane knew for certain was that she had just killed a man and that she was covered in blood. She was dirty; she felt dirty.
"I'm going to take a bath," she announced, shaking her head and stalking to the shower in her room. She didn't know how or why everything that just transpired happened, but as Jane stepped into the cold bath, Jane began to theorize that she had only been sleeping for the entire month. That it all had been one grand disillusion. That Thor hadn't really come back to Earth with Loki in tow. That she hadn't spent any time with Loki at all. That she didn't really have three additional cats most likely hiding out in her room, away from the gunshots. That she just hadn't stabbed a man to death.
Just one more night, she told herself as she crawled into her bed. Just one more night and you'll finally wake up.
Except Loki was standing at her doorway.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"Can I sleep here?"
She was supposed to say no, but she had said yes.
-0-
"Thor will be arriving soon, Jane."
"What should we do?"
"We can leave for another realm now."
"And you're not going to leave me once we get there?"
"So long as Thor doesn't get to me, I am forever bound to your word. I could not be rid of you even if I wanted to."
Jane knew that she shouldn't even be hesitating, but there was the thought at the back of her head: "If we go now, we'll forever be on the run."
"Not forever. We may lose them eventually in the stars. But is that not what you wanted, Jane? To be away from your precious earth, to be closer to the heavens?"
It was. It really was. Not like this, though, but it was still something she wanted. She couldn't believe she was admitting it, but she wanted to be with Loki. It was a twist of fate – and a cruel one, at that; but Jane had had enough of denying herself of the things she wanted in her short life.
"We'll bring the cats, of course," Loki said in a not-so reassuring tone. The urgency of his tone was evident. "But we'll have to go now, Jane."
She nodded and ran to her room, hurriedly packing a bag with only her most treasured items, including her most prized notebook, and a few essentials. She knew she'd never be able to return to earth – at least, not for a while anyway. She sent a quick text to Darcy with her phone, explaining that she was going back to Asgard. It was a lie, but it was something that Darcy would be able to accept. She sent another message to Erik saying the exact same thing, but with a more tender ending. She had told Erik to take care and to not worry so much.
"Jane!" Loki called out impatiently. They were running out of time. She tore a page from her notebook and started scribbling down a note while she ran back to the living room. Placing the piece of paper underneath a weight on the coffee table, Jane saw that Loki – and their cats – were ready to go. "Are you quite finished?"
She reached for Loki's wrist and smiled excitedly. "Let's go."
Let me have him.
Consider your eternal debt repaid.
- Jane
