Walking away, Nikita finally couldn't hold it in anymore. She let the pain, the jealousy, the part of her who had been unsure the past few days seep through from her carefully built up walls, allowing them to flow freely in the form of tears. They continued to fall as she turned her head back to glance at the man she was leaving behind one last time.

Although she had just walked away from Michael, with a feeling of strength, strength to continue on her quest alone; a part of her felt missing. The part that was most important, her heart, which she knew was still there with Michael. And she hoped nothing more than for him to come running after her and take her into his arms and return it. She hated to admit it, but a part of her felt betrayed. To see the person you love, care about another woman more than you, can hurt. The way he had reacted when he believed that Cassandra had fallen off the cliff. His anger, frustration, his immediate reaction to go and shoot the men who had pushed the car down the cliff, the tears she swears she saw when he believed that Cassandra was dead. The night before when after hugging her for a brief moment, he saw Cassandra wounded by the bullet that Nigel had put through her arm, ran over and immediately pulled her close so as to support her. All the memories from Belarus as well, the occasional hugs they exchanged, the pain in his eyes when he believed he had lost the woman and child in the car bomb. They all haunted her now as she continued to put distance between the one person she needed most.

But she understood where he was coming from, and that was what had helped her make the decision, the decision to be the stronger person and walk away, allowing the one person who means the world to you to make the right decision even if it'll affect you for the rest of your life. It kept her on her track now, to walk away and keep walking, although with every step she felt more and more lost. She had seen him holding Max, who just like Michael didn't want to let go. He promised to return soon, and the look in his eyes proved just how painful it was for him to leave behind his son, who still had no idea who his real father was. But even though Max had no idea, he shared a strong bond with Michael and Nikita didn't want to be the one to break it, to ruin it. She knew what it was like to grow up and not know the truth.

Max grew up believing that his father was a figure of authority and had died only a few weeks ago, but there would come a day when Cassandra would come clean and allow him to know the truth. But even then the child was bound to wonder about his father, wonder if he ever cared, if his visits were just a façade, or wonder if love even exists. All these feelings made up Nikita's child hood and she didn't want the little five year old to ever feel the same way. She didn't want him wondering whether the world was just full of liars who didn't care about anyone.

As for Michael, she loves him too much, to let him suffer this way, to make him choose between her and his son, when the choice is beyond obvious. She is - or was.. now that she had left- a complication, in the way of what was right. Yes, she'll always hold on to the happy memories when Michael had been at her side, but she had to let the future she had always seen with him go. She didn't want him to feel obligated to stay with her, because they were in love. He had a choice to make and Nikita knew that he would have trouble deciding as long as she was there.

So as they had walked along, through the busy streets of London, she had decided to help make the decision ten times easier.

FLASHBACK.

She was going to tell him things he needed to hear, ask him rhetorical questions, and try her best to sound strong throughout; she knows that the tears that were building up behind her eyes aren't going to help the situation. She stopped and when Michael turned back around questioningly she knew it was time to let it all out. It was either now or never, she took a deep breath, her last real breath before what would be the fatal goodbye.

A/N: Well what a great episode tonight! I have to say the ending was just perfect too, no sarcasm at all. It shows how much Nikita really cares about Michael, that she's willing to give him up so that he can be happy. Hope everyone had a great 11.11.11. Here's a little treat. ;)