A/N: It has a been a LONG TIME since I have written a one shot, but suddenly I have all of these ideas in my head and they're just waiting to get out! ^-^ I'm pretty psyched.

Hope you all enjoy. This oneshot collection will be full of pokeshipping and contestshipping, so enjoy. I will also let you know at the beginning of the chapter if the oneshot is pokeshipping or contestshipping (daml or aaml)

I'm really, really bad I know. I didn't go over this chapter nearly as much as I should've but I DID go over it, so at the very least it should be readable for my dear grammar loving friends. I get in this weird sort of rut I can't explain when I finish a chapter. I feel like I have to post it immediately and can't focus on other things till it's been done. :/ I still go over my work, but that's why I'm posting it now. Please review! Seriously, I appreciate it a lot. :)

More coming! Feel free to leave me ideas in reviews. I would love to have some more to go off of.


HERO SWAP - DAML

Well, they had done it again. It wasn't as if they didn't get themselves in trouble on more than one occasion, though May had the sneaking suspicion it had more to do with Ash and less than any of them as she didn't find herself in situations like this in any other circumstance. This was the first time she had found herself betrothed to a legendary pokemon that could speak, for no other reason then he wanted to marry her. …Or mate her. One of the two.

Still, it was irritating.

They were in the middle of nowhere. May supposed she should be used to talking pokemon by now but nothing had surprised her more than when the vines of said pokemon slipped into their group and pulled her out and announced in a loud and very human voice that she was his. ...It's. She hoped it was a he. The voice certainly sounded like a he. Though that should be the least of her worries because she wasn't marrying him anyway, of course.

And now, here they were, encircled by a bubble of some kind of energy May had never seen before and unable to leave. Something this legendary pokemon could do that others couldn't. Apparently this pokemon was good with mirages, because he looked like a man, a handsome man in an outfit perhaps a century too old, but still a handsome man. The only reason May could tell it was a mirage was because of the slightly hazy look to him, otherworldy, and because of the vines that had grabbed her that didn't make a shred of sense coming from his body.

But now here they were.

"It's's not fair! Because I'm the only girl!" May groaned loudly and buried her head in her hands. "Why do we always get in situations like this?" Then stiffening she dropped her hands. "Ash, do something!"

Ash turned to her with wide eyes, looking confused in a manner she would have found funny were she not about to be married to a pokemon. "Wha-me?! What do you want me to do?"

"Fix this! You're the hero! These things are always after you! Ask him what he wants!"

Ash turned around and rolled his eyes, jumping when he found the pokemon just outside of the bubble, in the space he had been standing before. The image of a man, the legendary's eyes darted to May and he smiled lightly. "I only want her hand."

May's mouth fell open.

Max jumped to his feet. "You don't know my sister! She'll be the worst wife ever! She won't keep your…your cave clean, and she won't be nice to you and there are a lot prettier girls you could mate with! Ow!"

Max turned and rubbed at his head with squinted eyes. "I'm trying to help you!"

"Well, stop helping!"

"It's true!"

"It's not-"

"Do you consider me a fool, young man?" The entire group shivered and turned to the voice and the man/pokemon narrowed his eyes. "Do you consider me lacking in vision or talent? I would know of which mate to choose. I know the limitations I desire."

May blinked, then blushed, a bit of it anger. 'The limitations I desire,' she thought? So he wanted her because she was lacking in some way?

Luckily her younger brother knew her well, and when May opened her mouth, Max jumped up and placed a hand over it, having to pull her over slightly to reach, and smiled nervously at the pokemon. "Of course," he said his voice a bit higher than usual. Then he pulled May down an in the same motion asked, "What do we call you?"

After a short time the pokemon left (reminding them that it was in fact a pokemon) and Max turned to the group and explained the little he knew about the legendary and stated, "May, it's easy! This is the legendary from the stories Dad used to tell us. Remember? (Ash smiled, "I know this one!") They mate! You just have to be engaged to someone else!"

May flushed. "Wh-What?!"

He nodded. "He's looking for a life mate. They choose a different mate every hundred years or so. It's weird, but that's what he does. He likes humans, so his mating lasts her lifetime but not his. But he won't take one that's already married."

"But-But… I'm not married!"

"You don't have to be! You just have to tell him you are!"

May was still blushing, and Brock and Ash who had for the last few moments been silent began to speak up. Ash scooted closer on the ground and leaned around her. "Is it really a big deal if you're only saying it?"

"Well…" May trailed off, her face hot. "It is to me."

Brock sighed and leaned around her other side. "May, I understand why this would be hard for you. But this is a legendary, he could anything. Our smartest move here is to follow Max's lead and get away as quickly as we can. All you have to do is say you're with somebody. It doesn't have to be real. And it'll be worth it. Otherwise… well, you don't want to actually be stuck with him do you?"

May's face flooded with horror. She shook her head quickly. "Alright. I-I'll do it."

And she did.

But the pokemon only stared at her.

"What's his name?"

May's eyes widened. She wasn't good at lying, and she knew she wasn't. So did everyone else.

Just as Ash opened his mouth to say that it was him so he could help play it off (he was the hero after all, he was used to it), and Brock opened his mouth to say the same about himself because Ash was just about as terrible liar as May was, Max yelled, "Drew!"

May flushed to the roots of her hair, and all three made the terrible mistake of turning to Max in shock.

May just managed to stop herself from yelling at Max when she felt the presence behind her. "Where can I find this, Drew?"

May was shaking but Max had it covered. "La' Rouse city. Drew Hayden. He has green hair and green eyes and he coordinates."

The pokemon nodded and in a violent gust of wind disappeared.

There were a few moments of silence, then May shrieked, "MAX!"

Brock's mouth was open. "I'm sorry but I have to agree with May on this one. Why'd you go and do a thing like that?"

"We're never getting out of here. Misty's gonna kill me," Ash muttered with a sigh and fell onto his back, letting them go on without him, which they were all quite happy to do.

Max was blushing lightly. "I didn't just blurt it out! Look, May you suck at lying. And so does Ash and this is a legendary! He's smart! He knows we would've told him already if Brock or Ash were engaged to you. Plus, Drew is pretty smart too. And you like him. It'll be obvious that you feel something for him even if you're not married, and Drew… if he takes five seconds to think he might get us out of this."

Brock paused. "That's a good point actually."

"I-I do not like him!"

"The red on your face will really help when he comes back."

"Augh!"

The pokemon took just that moment to reappear, dropping a very annoyed coordinator in the dirt between them without being viewed himself. Drew landed with an audible groan, green hair in a state of disarray May had never seen before. When he pushed himself up he rolled his eyes and looked to May, "I should've known."

May, still caught up in what the others had been saying about them, could only blush.

Drew pulled himself up and began combing his fingers through his hair, straitening the strands and getting them out of his face as the legendary reentered their force-field-like bubble. "This boy says the two of you are in no form of relationship."

May's face flushed with horror. To her incredible luck, Drew chose that moment to glance at her and sighed, dropping his hands to his lap. "I did not say that. I was merely surprised that a pokemon showed up out of nowhere and questioned my relationship status."

The pokemon blinked at him, still in his otherworldly handsome man-like form. But it wasn't a confused blink, it was a slow calculated blink with a straight expression that said he was looking through Drew and carefully deciphering his comment. He nodded and stepped back.

"She is your mate?"

A flash of pink appeared on Drew's face. He glanced at May who glanced back to him in worry, and swallowed. He was just turning back to nod when the pokemon stated, "I knew it. There is no other."

"W-Wait! Hold on!" Drew called as the pokemon began to come forward and May squeaked beside him. "I didn't say that!"

"You didn't have to."

Max groaned and fell back, joining Ash in staring at the sky. At his young age, and even with his intellect, he saw far less seriousness in their situation then the others did. Ash was simply used to being swept up by legendary pokemon and disasters.

Drew grit his teeth and thought hard. "So you want to mate her?"

The pokemon raised a thin brow and nodded.

"Why her?"

The pokemon glanced back to May who swallowed. "I have my reasons."

Drew rolled his eyes. "Seriously? You want her? Have you been following her enough to know what she's like? She'll drive you crazy! Talk about clothes, and shoes, and things you know nothing about. She'll lecture you and fight you on everything and drive you both crazy because she doesn't want to be with you. She'll scream at you all day and cry every night."

"Gee, thanks Drew."

"No problem."

Max lifted his hand up into the air, still on his back. "That's what I said."

"It's nothing new. Humans rarely understand what they are getting into at first. In time, she will come to appreciate it."

May bit her lip and raised a shaky hand. "I don't want to appreciate it," she muttered.

Drew perked up. "See what I was talking about? She's already rebelling against you. Go find someone else. Go to a little town and find a girl who wears dresses all the time and talks in whispers, instead of a girl who wears biker shorts and screeches at her rivals."

"Dr-Drew!"

Drew smirked.

The pokemon looked between the two of them. Suddenly the whole group froze. It was hard to explain why. The air had vibrated with something, an energy that moved in a wave from the pokemon. It wasn't funny anymore. The air was humming with an intense danger. The mirage hands tightened into fists, apparently an expression of the pokemon's emotions. "Enough. I've heard enough." Without another word he stalked forward.

Drew paled and turned swiftly, staring at May with intensity. May was staring at the pokemon, frozen. She had been scared of pokemon once, but this was worse.

"May!" Drew yelled when he realized May wasn't looking at him.

May blinked, as if pulling herself from a daze and turned to him. Vaguely she recognized that there was something softer behind his desperation.

"May…"

May paled and Drew stiffened at the yell behind him. As the pokemon passed Brock first, the eldest of their group flew through the air till he hit the wall of their bubble, as if the energy of the legendary itself had pushed him away.

"May!" Drew grit his teeth and when she looked at him he swallowed and heart pounding, yelled, "Marry me!"

May's eyes widened. "Wh-What?!"

"Marry me!"

May stared at him in deep shock.

"For Mew's sake May, just say it!"

"I…" Glancing to the pokemon she realized he had stopped walking, then seeing her hesitate, his eyes narrowed and flashed the way a human's couldn't and he moved forward again, passing Ash in the same motion. May's eyes widened and she shut them quickly, shaking.

"May!"

"D-Drew I-" May felt her body shake and her breath coming in short gasps. Fear of a childhood began to over take her. Her words were cut off by the desperate and annoyed tone of Drew.

"Just do it!"

May took a deep breath, tried to ignore the words she would be saying and yelled. "Okay! I... I-I'll marry you!"

Drew spun back to face the pokemon. "See?! We're engaged now. She's mine! Got it?" His words were intense in a way that made May shiver. As the pokemon continued forward Drew rose to his feet and stared back at the pokemon with a strong stance. "She's mine."

May blinked when the pokemon actually stopped. From behind him, she couldn't see the passion Drew stared back at the pokemon with, as if staring him down. "She's mine." He repeated. "Find someone else."

The pokemon showed more emotion then, but still not enough, making May wonder if the mirage actually showed everything he was feeling. Then with his glare May forgot her wonder and he screeched, a very loud screech she wished she could've covered her ears for. It was a strange thing to see come from the mouth of a human form. Even stranger were the wings that sprouted from the back of the mirage as he took another couple of steps towards Drew and held his head up proudly.

Drew didn't move one inch, and his expression didn't change, even as all but May covered their ears. The edge of the mirage vibrated with energy and for just a moment the shaky form of a large beak showed through the man before he shrieked once more and disappeared in another violent gust of wind.

Drew raised his arm above his eyes so he could keep them open while everyone else covered theirs for the dirt flying at them. He waited till he was sure the pokemon was gone, several seconds after the wind had stopped, till the bubble of water-looking energy began to dissolve around them and disappear, and till the energy in the air began to settle and his ears stopped ringing, before turning around to see May.

Her eyes were closed. Drew assumed she was scared. She didn't notice him walk to her side, and when he touched her shoulder she jumped and hit him hard.

"Ow! Dang it, May!"

May's eyes fluttered open and she looked up to see Drew rubbing at the spot above his wrist. She blinked again then flushed and looked around them just in time to see the rest of the bubble dissolve at the ground. Seeing her friends she jumped to her feet and ran to the spot Brock was still laying in. "Brock! Brock, are you alright?!"

Drew sighed. "You're great, Drew. Thanks for saving me, Drew. It's not like you just stood up to an incredibly powerful legendary or anything." He muttered to himself and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched her check on Brock then finding him alright (he was holding a hand to his forehead, looking dizzy but okay), rushed over to check on Ash as well.

Drew sighed again. Ash held a hand up into the air and gave her a side ways thumbs up, apparently not caring to stand and Drew raised an eyebrow before reminding himself that he didn't really care. Only Max jumped to his feet then put his hands triumphantly into the air. "I knew it! I knew it would work! I'm a genius! I'm the best of the best! You may all bow before me in gratitude for saving your menial lives!"

Drew rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Because you're the one who stood face to face with a legendary that wanted to rip your arms off."

"It was my idea! I knew you would do it!"

Drew blushed, hands dropping from his chest to ball at his sides. "You can't have known that! I didn't know what I was going to do!"

Max paused and raised an eyebrow. "So?"

Drew's expression faltered. He opened his mouth once, then shut it.

"Lost your wit, Drew?"

Drew turned to May with a blush and tightened his grip further. "Sure! No thanks from you! I should've let the freaking pokemon marry you. You would've flown off to some legendary paradise and had bird kids and never seen me again, and then you would've wanted me to save you but I wouldn't of!"

May's mouth dropped open at his lack of composure while Ash (still on his back) remarked calmly. "You would've though."

Drew grit his teeth further and brought his arms back up to his chest, turning away. "Sure."

May blinked at his back and Max giggled. "Aw, is Drew feeling sad that May doesn't want to marry him? After all, it did take quite some pushing."

Drew was thankful that he had turned around. He couldn't help the way his eyes widened and his face flushed, and his arms shook even in their folded position. "That-That was just to save her life. It doesn't mean anything."

May frowned, but Max continued his teasing. "You could've just let him take her though. And you were pretty insistent."

Drew's hands shook. "Of course I was insistent! It may be a legendary but it's still a pokemon! That's-That's how you have to deal with them!"

"Still could've let him take her though."

Drew opened his mouth but jumped when May's hand landed on his shoulder. "Thanks for saving me, Drew."

Drew shrugged her hand from his shoulder and turned to her swiftly, hands coming down to his sides. "You…" He stopped abruptly, taking in her expression. She really did look grateful, and he remembered quickly the way she had been sitting when the legendary had began to resonate power and leave. He had to wonder if she had really been as scared as she had looked.

With those thoughts in his head it really was difficult to feel upset. "No problem," he muttered.

Max looked between them and giggled, "You may now kiss the bride."

Both May and Drew stiffened, realizing quickly how close they actually were, though it wouldn't have mattered if Max hadn't of said what he did.

May blushed and blinked, tearing her gaze from Drew's to glare at Max. "You're dead."

Drew smirked, entertained by the exchange despite the slight blush on his face. Her quick answer reminded him why he wanted her around, why he liked talking to her.

…How attractive that blush on her face was.

In one moment the frustration faded in the face of very natural fun.

At May's expense of course.

"So, I just saved you from a legendary."

May blinked and turned back to him, then seeing his smirk she blushed lightly.

There it was.

"Y-Yeah. So?"

"You know, legendaries were said to have done this in medieval times."

The confusion on her face grew, but even that was cute. "Like old stories?"

Drew nodded and stepped closer, seeing her throat jump as he filled the space between them. "Do you know how those stories end, May?"

May's blush grew, only fueling his desire to keep the conversation moving. "Those are just stories!"

Drew nodded. "You like classics, don't you?"

"Wh-What?"

"May doesn't read."

"Max-"

"And by the classics, your father now owes me your hand in marriage." He smirked. His hand slipped behind her when she looked to Max and as she turned back he pulled her towards him in one smooth motion, catching her wrist with his free hand to make his point.

May flushed, very aware that hiding under that smirk was annoyance and not quite sure how far he would go when he was truly irritated with her. Her words stumbled out in nervous babbles. "That-That's not how it goes, is it?" When he smirked further May realized the leniency she had allowed into the sentence, the lack of argument, and flushed deeper. "A-A lot of good that does you! My father's not even here!"

Drew stopped moving, hand around her waist still so that she couldn't ignore how they were very nearly chest to chest. She wondered if she should move but Drew didn't seem to notice the awkwardness of it, his eyes looking around them to land on Brock. The action reminded May that the others were watching. She opened her mouth to complain but Drew beat her there first, his smirk returning as he looked at Brock. "He'll do."

May blinked, then realizing what he meant the blush returned and she pushed on his chest, mentally recognizing that she wasn't getting away (either because she wasn't really trying or he was stronger than she thought he was). "He's not my father! He can't give me away!"

Max giggled. At the same time Brock sighed and fell onto his back, his head still spinning. "I don't care anymore." May froze. "I've been doing this long enough. Just do whatever you all want to do and leave me out of it."

May knew Drew well enough, perhaps not as much as she would like to, but enough to know how he responded to opportunities and rivals.

He smirked.

"Guess what that means, May?"

May froze. His words rang in her ears and they were still nearly chest to chest and that didn't matter because his arm was around her and he was smirking, and Mew, if there wasn't something extremely attractive about that.

Not that she would ever say it.

It all made her head spin and instead of writing off the words and stating the very obvious statement that they couldn't get married, and that he probably wouldn't want to be married to her anyway, she found herself looking to that irritating (yet still entrancing) glint in his eye and muttering, "But… But…"

Drew shook his head, standing up a bit straighter and pulling her with him. "That's all there is to it May. Guess we'll have to find a priest."

"But-"

"Hey! She's my sister! Don't you have to get the man of the family's permission in those old stories?"

Drew pointedly ignored him and kept his vision on May, though the corner of his eye did twitch. "No. He's promised her hand if he can save her from the Salamence."

"That wasn't a Salamence!"

Drew felt his careful control snap. "It doesn't matter what it was!"

May giggled.

Drew turned back to her with a minute glare and she stopped. Then he smirked again, pulling his arm back from behind her back and taking her hand, walking in the direction he figured would lead them out of the forest. "Well," he announced. "We're off to find a priest."

"Wh-What?! Drew! We are not finding a priest!"

"You don't have a choice in the matter May. You're mine, remember?"

May flushed. "Oh, if that isn't chauvinistic!"

Drew smiled, but May couldn't see it. "And Max said you don't read. That's a big word for someone who doesn't read."

May sputtered behind him.

"You have to slay the Salamence!" Max called, running after them.

"Where do you suppose the legendary went?" Ash asked, staring up at the sky.

"He's off to find another mate," Brock returned, looking at the sky with him. Ash sighed, and Brock muttered, "With our luck, he's probably off to find Misty."

"No, Drew recommended a girl who wears dresses and talks in whispers. Misty's the safest girl in the world."

"Since when is luck ever on your side?"

"Good point." Ash raised from the dirt, not bothering to dust himself off. "Guess I should warn her about him. You coming?"

Brock sighed and stood, hand going to his still aching head. "I swear, this group will be the death of me."

Ash smirked. "You would've died a long time ago if that were true. It's only gotten worse."

Brock dropped his hands to his hips, looking to Ash with a questioning expression. "Like our worst situations didn't happen when Misty was with us."

Ash paused. "That's true. Well, being as there's a legendary in my life again, it would probably be smart to take her with us for a while. So we can keep an eye on her and all that."

"Right." When Ash didn't respond he expounded. "That's why you're contacting her."

Ash blinked, then blushed. He didn't bother to prove Brock wrong, only turned on his heel and ran after Drew and May. Somewhere ahead of them Brock heard Max shriek and realized he had run ahead. "Get a freaking room!"

Brock rolled his eyes.

He had gotten used to their weird adventures.