A/N: This is a parody. I don't mean to offend anyone, come off sounding as though I hate the pairing or yaoi fangirls, or dislike anyone who writes or likes SasuNaru stories, I just thought this would be funny to write. (And Sasuke can be an arrogant ass, so I wrote him in character).

Disclaimer: I do not own anything


Today was an aggravating day. First my crazy fangirls were fighting over who would sit next to me in class at the academy. Then Naruto was getting in my face, and someone shoved him, causing him to fall forwards into me. That is all that happened. We did not kiss. But that doesn't stop a new group of fangirls from chasing me. Yaoi fangirls. They don't want to date me, they desperately want Naruto to date me. Could this day get any worse?

I changed my mind. Things can always get worse. Now they have me cornered.

"Aww, You and Naruto would make such a cute couple!" one squealed. She was greeted with a chorus of "Aww" from the rest of the group.

I have to stop them before they get out of hand, become rabid and obsessed like my other set of fangirls. "I DO NOT LIKE NARUTO!" I shouted to get their intention. "He doesn't even taste good. When he was shoved into me, he tasted sweet. I do not like sweet things. I prefer tomatoes, or anything equally acidic to go with my personality. Why would I want to kiss someone who tastes so disgustingly sweet? Get it through your thick heads that I do not like that dobe!" With that, I formed the tiger handsign, and blew out fire, forcing them to scatter so I could make my escape.

There. That should take care of that group of fangirls. After all, surely I had convinced them of my disinterest in that dobe, right? If only I had known how wrong I was.

The next morning, I was unsurprised to see my regular fangirls all trying to sit in the seats near my desk, but I was surprised to see one yaoi fangirl obstinately refusing to give up the seat next to mine. Did she switch sides? Decide that she wanted me for herself instead of with Naruto?

My thoughts were interrupted as the dobe himself wandered into class, a little late, as usual. However, my yaoi fangirl quickly stood up, and pushing a little chakra into her feet, sped over to the blonde, grabbed his arm, dragged him over to the seat she had been sitting in, then sped away to sit in another seat. Ah. So this is what she was up to. She was guarding a seat next to me, so that she could force Naruto into it. Damn. I thought I took care of the yaoi fangirls. Naruto, however, didn't seem to notice anything, just sat in the seat next to me, and tried to copy my answers during our test. As if I would ever let him copy my answers. Why would I, when it was so amusing to see him try to wrap that tiny brain of his around the problem and fail miserably. It would be a sad day if they let him graduate the academy. Such an idiot. And this is who my yaoi fangirls want to pair me with? I could do so much better.

After class, I sped away home. None of my fangirls of either kind could move as fast as I could, and I was free of their suffocating obsession for the moment. At least until class tomorrow. Sigh.