Disclaimer: I don't own Human Target and intend no copyright infringement.
A/N: This is just a bit of light, nonsense fun, inspired by weapon13WhiteFang's very enjoyable "magic" one-shots. It's kind of double AUish - Clarabelle and Lizzie were created by weapon13WhiteFang, Ash was created by me. These characters are all non-canon, but this version of Ash's life is also not in accordance with the way it'll develop in my virtual seasons, thus "double" AUish. Anyway, big thanks to weapon13WhiteFang for letting me play with her characters and her world!
You just can't think of everything.
Although this time Ash had really tried.
Unfortunately he had underestimated Guerrero's determination to ALWAYS. KNOW. WHAT'S. GOING. ON.
One whiff at the air and he had gone to hack into the video feed from the municipal surveillance cam on the other side of the street. On which he had seen the van pulling up at the back entrance roughly two hours ago. Of course he had called the company, had found out about the nature of the delivery, told his Dad...
...and here they were sitting...
"You don't seriously want to tell me that you needed 40 pounds of lemons to produce this 12 ounce bowl of lemon pudding?" Chance gave his son a pointed look and the small glass bowl on the table a light tap.
Actually Ash had been quite proud of himself to think of cooking a pudding as an explanation for the strong citrus smell dominating the whole office.
Till Guerrero had found out about the 40 pound delivery, that is, and, to top everything off...
"I'm pretty sure that this pudding has never seen anything more lemony than artificial lemon flavor", Ilsa declared her verdict after meticulously tasting a spoonful. "There's definitely no real fruit in it."
"You're grounded for another week", Chance decided.
"For what, buying fruit?" If deceiving didn't help, maybe protesting did. At least it was worth a try. Ash really wanted to hang out with his buddies at the cinema on Saturday. The new Transformers movie was going to hit the floors and they had tickets for the premiere!
"For having your interesting little "Don't call me Clara"-friend over while you were supposed to study for your next math test. Alone", Winston chimed in. "Mind if I take care of that?" He reached for the bowl with the pudding.
"How in the world...?" Ash couldn't believe it.
"Oh come on, that was easy", Ames laughed while in the background Guerrero and Winston started squabbling over the pudding.
"40 pounds of lemons vanished without a trace two hours after delivery, the vacuum cleaner bag is full of glittery dust..."
Ash winced.
"Always cover your tracks, dude!", Guerrero yelled from the back.
"All the cameras in the office were turned off and you're all sweaty and looking like you had a fight with a certain someone's cat..." Ames took Ash's sleeve and showed him where the blood from the scratch Lizzie had given him had soaked through. The cat hadn't been exactly fond of the idea of having horribly lemony tasting potion trickled into her mouth.
Tousling his hair, Ames got up to get Guerrero's field kit for proper treatment.
Later that night Ash's cell rang. Clarabelle. "I'm sorry", she said.
"S'okay..."
"Lizzie is doing better. The potion really helped."
"Great." Ash lamely attempted not sounding too ironic.
Just then suddenly some kind of window appeared in his bedroom, floating freely in the air. It swung open and revealed - a movie screen.
The next day his buddy Alec couldn't believe it. "How the hell did you manage to watch the new Transformers movie before the official premiere? I didn't find a whiff of it on the internet!"
"With connections", Ash replied, grinning. "And forty pounds of lemons."
