Hollow Shells.
That's what they always said we were; just hollow shells that couldn't feel any emotions. I knew they were right… but I always hoped that maybe – somehow – I could start to feel something – anything at all, to make me feel slightly real.
Then He joined the organization, and I thought maybe he could help somehow. We spent our first night after meeting, sitting on the tower and watching the sunset, and talking – just talking. We talked about anything and… nothing in particular. We shared laughs, on our first night, and… and I thought that maybe I was starting to like him.
Our friendship blossomed, and eventually… We had a form of emotion – a form of 'love', you could say. We spent all of our time together, making fun of other members, only seeing each other. We became a two-person loner, blocking out anything from everyone else.
Eventually I found myself locked in by him. He became my whole – my life. I focused everything I did around him. In the beginning, my only other 'friend' warned me about him. He told me that all I was to Him was a toy – someone who thought that they had control over.
I didn't believe him. I tried to hold back, but… but I couldn't, and my fist collided with his face and I told him he had no right – No right – to say anything like that. He loved me, and that's what I knew – that's what I believed. So I stopped talking to him, too.
Soon He was my world. He was everything I knew. He was everything I believed. He was everything. He was my support, and always cared for me – or… cared as much as a Nobody could.
He started telling me then, that he loved me, and that I was everything to him; and I would fall again every time he did. But he said it so coldly… with nothing – not even an essence of emotion – lingering in his voice.
A few nights later, he took me into his bed, and kept me with him the whole night, locking his arms around me. I just held him loosely, the fingers of my right hand on his lower back, and the palm of my left against his scalp, with the digits twisting around the small curls of his hair.
I stayed up the whole night, my mind reeling. I didn't know what was going on or what he was thinking. Things would just get more complicated now; and I would get even more attached.
He left the next week.
He told me… told me that no one cared and that he would get farther in life away from the organization either way. I told him that I would miss him, but I couldn't make myself go after him; I just couldn't stop him.
The days after, I couldn't keep up. My mind was slow; my legs not moving, and I couldn't… couldn't think straight.
My everything was gone…
My leader, he sent me out looking for him. He told me I had to find him, to coax him back into the organization; and if I failed, he'd destroy me; lower my position in the hierarchy.
That couldn't happen; I wouldn't let it.
So I started my search. It was… it was horrible. His memories were gone – anything he may have slightly remembered about me. I tried – strained to remind him – to help him just remember me. Even just… the thought of me. Remember our time together.
Remember my almost love for him.
Remember his almost love for me.
