Stephanie Osborn
English 4th
Love in Slow Motion
A girl sits in a deserted courtyard as crimson colored tears roll down her face. The sky opens and rain pours upon her. A look of despair flashes in her lilac colored eyes, the rain begins to fall harder. This is no ordinary girl, she has experienced pain known by few others. But perhaps an introduction is in order…her name is Eluria. She has long onyx colored hair as dark as night itself. Her eyes range in colors lilac to a rose dust pink. Flesh as white as snow, and ice water runs through her veins instead of blood. A stone heart is concealed within her chest, and it is rare for any emotion to push its way to the surface of her being.
The pain of love is a complex matter. It rips at your heart strings, as the torture erupts inside of you. For Eluria the man was Roland, a lone traveler who happened to pass through the town of Shikon one cool fall afternoon. Eluria was seventeen at the time and had never known the pangs of love.
It is a cool October afternoon, the leaves have turned their golden yellows, pumpkin oranges, and deep browns. A light wind passes through the trees causing most leaves to rustle and a few to drop. A lone girl sits beneath the Goshinkiboku watching people she has never seen before pass her by. The beat of the sun on her skin causes her to drift off to sleep. When she awoke the sun had dipped below the horizon, the single city street was deserted aside from one man. His appearance was striking and god like. Light from the sun struck him in a way which created a holy glow. Golden-brown locks surrounded the crown of a tan face, light blue eyes, with heavy dark brown eye brows. His height was not of towering stature, he stood at five feet and eight inches. His body was muscular but somehow average looking and his face held the look of a passive person who cares strongly for those around him. He approached Eluria in the way in which you approach a small bird from fear that they would become frightened and flee, but she stood her ground.
"Excuse me miss, but could you tell me where the local Inn is in this here town?" His voice held a heavy southern drawl. "Sir, there is no Inn here or anywhere near here for that matter. It is very unusual for us to have visitors from other parts and so there is no need for one. It closed down about 15 years ago." She answered. "Hmmm." He said. "Well do you know of anywhere that I may be able to spend the night? I'd pay a heavy price to get a bed, and a warm cooked meal tonight. I've been traveling alone for a long time and I'd be very grateful if you could tell me the name of somewhere I could go." She smiled and let out a bubbly laugh that was contagious causing him to laugh as well. "Why certainly sir. My parents will take in any noble man for a night. To let him get a good nights rest every once in a while, and my mother will be cooking supper right about now so I suppose the two of us may just want to start heading that way." The man's smile held a shine of true thankfulness. "Well thank you very much. By the way I never did quite catch your name." She turned her head towards him and smiled.
"It's Eluria". "Eluria." He repeated to himself. "Eluria. That's one of the most beautiful names I've ever heard." His comment caused her to blush slightly. "Well thank you very much for your compliment sir. And what is your name?" "My name isn't really all that important. You will just as soon forget it as I leave your presence. There is no need for it to take up space in that pretty little head of yours." He replied. "That's not fair." Said she. "I told you my name now it's only right for you to tell me yours as well!" "Alright, alright fair enough. My name is Roland." "Roland?" She inquired. "Yes." Said he. "Roland is the name given to me by my parents." "Really?" She asked. "I like it."
He smiled at the fact that he had been given a compliment on his name which he had always disliked with a passion. Maybe it wasn't quite as awful as he had convinced himself of. "So…" he said. "So…" she replied. "Well um…well…so how old are you Eluria?" "Well I just turned seventeen about two weeks ago." She said. "And, how old are you?" Roland looked at Eluria for a moment before answering but then gave her his age. "I'm eighteen." "Really?" She asked. "That's pretty cool." The two walked the rest of the way to her house in silence just enjoy each others company but not really needing or wanting to say anything.
The pair arrived at Eluria's home at the same time as the sun made it final shine before tucking itself below the horizon. Her mother was as usual standing in the kitchen pots and pans in hand cooking supper. "Good evening Eluria. Who is your guest?" Asked her mother. "His name is Roland he's a traveler and he needs somewhere to stay the night so I offered." "Oh." Said her mother. "Well alright then. Supper should be ready in about forty-five minutes; I'll call for you when it's time to eat." "Alrighty mom, I'll see you then. We're going to go upstairs so that I can show him where he's going to sleep and then we'll probably just sit around." The two made their way up the stairs and once Roland was shown his room the two sat down and listen to the radio and talked for a while. "Oh this is one of my favorite songs!" Exclaimed Eluria. She turned the volume up and began to sing along.
Just in case they're wondering
They've got us pinned terribly
They don't believe our love is real
'Cause they don't know how real love feels
You should know, it's true, just now the part about my
Love for you and how my heart's about to
Bust into a thousand pieces so it
Must be true and they'll believe us too soon
Baby, it's fact our love is true
The way black is black and blue is just blue
My love is true, it's a matter of fact
And you love me too, it's as simple as that
Baby our love is true.
They may say some awful things
But there's no point in listening
Your words are the only words
That I believe in afterwards
You should know, it's true, just now the part about my
Love for you and how my heart's about to
Bust into a thousand pieces so it
Must be true and they'll believe us too soon
Baby, it's fact our love is true
The way black is black and blue is just blue
My love is true, it's a matter of fact
And you love me too, it's as simple as that
Baby our love is true.
Roland began clapping enthusiastically "Oh bravo!!! That is some of the best, most enthusiastic singing I have ever heard." Eluria turned and frowned at him. "Are you being serious? Or are you being sarcastic with me?" He laughed full heartedly and it was a delightful thing to hear. Loud, happy, and gentle. "I would not joke about a matter such as something I enjoy." Eluria smiled broadly. "Then would you care to join me on the next song?" She asked? "As much as I would truly love to," He began. "I am not a singer. I sing occasionally but only if I feel very comfortable about it. So why don't you just sing for me?" She looked at him and gave him a devilish smile. "I will sing for now, but Roland mark my words you will sing for me before our time is diminished."
A voice from downstairs echoes through the house "Eluria, Roland, supper is ready!" Roland jumps from his seat "FOOD!" Eluria giggled and grabbed his hand to direct him back down the stairs. Dinner was served and when it was over Eluria went to bed while Roland stayed downstairs and talked to her mother and father.
He ended up staying longer than a night. Two days turned into five, five days into three weeks, when it was all said and done he had been there for a month and a half. And the two had secretly fallen into love with each other. Not the type of love that everybody talks about, but real heart-wrenching, head over heels, fully devoted, madly, insanely in love with each other. But neither knew how the other felt. If you saw them you would think they were dating, and if you knew them you'd swear they should be. But friendship was the only step either of them dared to take. An unknown love is one that never speaks of promises but breaks the hearts of many. The world rest between two lovers' eyes, never doubting, just trusting. But then everything changed. One day Roland was not there when Eluria awoke, nor did she see him for the rest of the day. No one had for that matter. He was gone for a week and a half when Eluria finally gave up hope, not only on him but on life.
She stood herself upon her feet and walked towards home with the rain crashing around her. Black mascara ran down her face as quickly as the rain poured from the sky. Her feet moved her towards home as her heart fell further and further into her stomach. The entire walk home was a blur in her mind nothing could penetrate her thoughts. When she arrived home she opened the door and pushed it open, then flung herself onto her couch in front of the TV and after an hour or so she flipped on the radio so that she could listen to a song while sitting in the dark staring at her wall. After a while a song came across the air waves that described exactly how she felt, the lyrics floated through her head and gave her ideas that she had never considered before.
Nothing was supposed to hurt like this.
Missing you was always one more kiss.
Now there's nothing that
I can do.
One more nail in the coffin, and it's all for you.
Always were and always were a simple love story.
You were everything I ever hoped and dreamed.
Drown me in a pool of my blood.
It's getting harder just to breathe.
I'll suffocate you faster just so you can't see, so you can't see me sleep.
It's getting harder just to say the right things.
I've seen the angel's face, and I've heard her sing to me.
From my reflection on this razor blade, I've heard ten thousand dying screams, and they're calling me.
The day will break on this saddest day, so don't let me wake.
I've heard this all before, and I've seen this over and over again.
Don't let me wake.
Drown me in a pool of my blood.
It's getting harder just to breathe.
I'll suffocate you faster just so you can't see, so you can't see me sleep.
So you can't see me sleep.
The day will break on this saddest day, so don't let me wake.
I've heard this all before, and I've seen this over and over again.
Don't let me wake.
Nothing was supposed to hurt like this.
And missing you was always one more kiss.
And now there's
nothing that I can do.
There's just one more nail in the coffin.
There's just one more nail, and it's all for you.
I've seen the angel's face, and I've heard her sing to me.
From my reflection on this razor blade, I've heard ten thousand dying screams, and they're calling me.
The day will break on this saddest day, so don't let me wake.
I've heard this all before, and I've seen this over and over again.
Don't let me wake.
At the end of the song her head dropped to her chest as her mind raced with possibilities. Thoughts of when love and death embraced. Her body sat still in a statue like resonance, breath barely moving her frail form. Time passed slowly as she sat in her morbid position, the amount is unsure and grew longer and larger as each second passed. Eventually there was a knock at the door. It could have been the same day or weeks down the road for Eluria time stood still. She pushed herself out of her chair and forced her legs to move her across the room. After opening the door she stood face-to-face with a postman with a single letter for her. The moment she had received it tears rolled down her face and hit the pavement in large splattering pools. The letter was addressed to her in that shakily perfect imperfect handwriting of the one she has come to love. She opened the letter and began to read quickly her tears of sadness became tears of utmost joy.
My dearest Eluria,
I am so sorry for not writing you sooner to tell you this, I should have let you know before I left but I did not wish to wake you at such an early hour for you looked so peaceful. But I had been rushed away to war by the government; the truth is that I was never a traveler I had run away from the army. It was the only choice I had when I graduated from school but I soon found it was not what I was expecting. I'm sorry for lying to you but I could not risk putting you into danger. You and your family were only safe through your ignorance of the matter, if you had known you could have been charged for high treason for hiding a run away soldier and been sentenced to death. But my tour will be ending in a month and then I am free to go. Eluria I am writing to you to tell you that I love you. I am in love with you and have been from the beginning. You captivated me, everything about you made me the happiest I have been in a long time and every second since I have last seen your face has felt like an eternity. Missing you is one of the hardest things I have to do, but I love having you to miss. Eluria I would rather die then never get the chance to see your lovely smile or hear your sweet voice again. Upon my return I will ask you to be wed. A life with you is the only thing that I can picture for my future I want no one else but you. My world is on fire and no one can save me but you, it's strange what desire can make foolish people do, and I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you. But I do. Your love is the only thing that I live for in this world, oh how I wait for the day your heart burns in these heavenly flames, I've already scorched in. I just want you to know that I will always be waiting. I love you Eluria, will you please be my wife, my best friend until death do us part?
Tomber amoureux de me, fall in love with me
Roland Kurt Cobain
Eluria fell to her knees as she wept her tears of joy and watched them crash on to the letter from Roland and the ground around her. A heart as content as hers was as close to perfection as one could feel. Utter bliss engulfed her and she felt no reminiscence of sorrow. The knowledge that everything was going to be perfect rushed through her veins causing her entire body to become elated with the satisfaction of a love finally gone right. Not only did she feel the feeling of love, but it was returned by the one that her mind and soul were enamored with. As soon as her composure was regained she immediately ran to her desk and grabbed a pen, stationary, and an envelope.
Roland,
The love of my life. Those words that you wrote to me could not have meant more if you whispered them as sweet nothings in my ear. I am in love with you and have been since the beginning the only thing that held me back was the fear that you did not feel the same. But the grace of God has permitted such a love to be returned. Your world is coming to an end, but you don't have to be afraid, I am here for you and always will be. Two world end to create a new one of perpetual happiness. And because I love you so I am here for you. Oh boy we are the same we are strong and blessed and so brave with souls to be saved and faith regained. Your kiss is sweetest, your touch so warm, your smile kindest, in this world so cold. The arms safest, and words all good, your faith deepest, in our world so cold. For all these reasons and more I love you endlessly, your love is all I wish in return I will be here waiting for you when you come to ring. My heart is yours as well as my hand. I love you now, as much as ever, and I'll love you my darling forever and ever.
I have fallen in love with you,
Eluria
The days passed and the nights cycled as Eluria counted down the minutes until Roland was to return. Several days passed and she lived them normally. On the twenty-eighth day she received another letter from Roland saying that his tour would be over in about a week. The joy within her increased more with each passing day until the day that Roland was suppose to return. It was finally the day and although she tried to find activities for herself to pass the time and keep her mind clear she found none were successful. Finally she heard a long awaited knock at the front door around two in the afternoon. She jumped from the chair that she was stationed in and flew across the living room of her home to the front door. It had been three years since she had last seen his face. How had he changed? Did he still look the same? Was he still the same person or had war changed him? She opened the door and stood with her mouth open unable to breath. The man at the door wasn't Roland.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but are you Miss Eluria?" "Yes, I am. Is there something that I can help you with?" She asked. "Yes actually there is. May I come inside madam there is something I would like to speak with you about." Eluria let the man into her home and he removed the hat from his head, she directed him to a chair and he suggested that she may want to sit down. "Ma'am I am the General of the Army, and I come in very grave news. Roland has died fighting for our country's freedom. When asked who we were to inform of this he requested no one but you. Are you of relation to him?" Eluria's breath stopped and she could not breathe. Her right hand immediately when up to her heart, and tears began to stream down her face. "Ma'am I'm sorry to have to ask you again in your obvious time of pain but are you of relation to Mr. Cobain?" Eluria looked the Army General in the eyes and replied "We were to be wed when he returned, now please leave." Eluria stood and walked to the front door opening it for the General. "But ma'am I need to contact the family about this." Eluria's eyes bore into him, hollowed out from pain. Simply blank and staring. "Get out." She whispered. "Excuse me?" He asked. "GET OUT!" She screamed at him. "GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" He picked up his hat and coat and scurried out of the door much like a small child who has just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
She slammed the door shut and then dropped to her knees in despair and then turned her head and hands towards God. "Why?" She pleaded. "Why would you take him from me? He was my everything. The only thing that I would have needed to live. He would have given me the strength to get through anything and you took him away from me. How could you do that to me? Have I not lived my life to your words? Have I not served you faithfully enough? Where did I go wrong to have you take away the life of the one person I ever wanted to be with?" Soon after she had gotten those few words out of her mouth the sobs erupted so overpoweringly that she could not continue in her laments to God. All hope that she had been lost and she refused to move herself from where she kneeled. Days passed and time stood still for her once again. Her body cried out for food but no avail. She continued to kneel, praying for death. Hoping she would eventually die for starvation but that did not happen.
Valentine is done
Here but now they're gone
Romeo and Juliet
Are together in eternity
Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday…
Like Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday…
Redefine happiness
Another 40,000 coming everyday…
We can be like they are
Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn't go on
Then the door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew then disappeared
The curtains flew then he appeared
Saying don't be afraid
Don't fear the reaper.
Two days passed and the phone continuously rang without answer finally her mother had decided to visit her. She showed up and pushed the door open, when she stepped through the frame of the door and awful odor hit her. She walked into the kitchen trying to discover the source of the stench when she neared the bathroom the smell worsened. She opened the door and fell to her knees for there laid Eluria, with blooded knife in hand. Eyes open but cold her blood stained clothing clung to her skeletal remains, and a note laid beside her.
In the grace of your love I write, writhe in pain. In 666 ways I love you and I hope you feel the same. I'm killing myself for your love and again all is lost. In 777 ways I love you 'til my death do us part. I'm for you, and I'm dying for your love. In 666 ways I love you and my heaven is wherever you are.
Sources
Song number one- Hellogoodbye's "Baby it's fact"
Song number two- Bleeding Through's "Wings of Lead"
Romeo and Juliet 'poem'- Parts of HIM's song "(Don't Fear) The Reaper"
Eluria's last note- Parts of HIM's song "For you"
Love In Slow MotionPage 14
