i.

he is staring at me like I am a goddess of ancient myth, like I am an angel sent to bless him.

I am not any of those things.

one by one they fall, like dominoes-

curses.

are you alright? he asks. do you need help?

no, I want to snarl. I am the crystal queen, the warrior of the north, daughter of the mighty Lionhearts-

you're bleeding, he says again. please, follow me home. I won't harm you, I promise.

dominoes-

father will be so, so angry.

I can't feel my right arm.

fine, I snap. tend my wounds. but touch me and I'll-

I know, he says, bored. you'll cut my head off. I heard you the first time.

he anchors my arm on his shoulders, and the wound shrieks with pain. he starts talking, but I'm not listening.

dominoes; no black, no white.

only red.

father will be so, so angry.


ii.

won't you tell me what happened? he asks.

instead of answering him, I eat.

he smirks, and I find it irksome.

it's alright, he says. I've got all day.

I scowl at him. just one blade across his throat-

my men and I were attacked, I say shortly. I was the only one that survived.

his expression changes. oh, he says. I'm sorry to hear that.

I shrug. what's done is done, I say.

silence.

I've never seen you around these parts before, he mentions. and I know every road there is.

I stop chewing.

every road? I ask, incredulous.

he grins. every single one of these dusty paths, he boasts. I'm a mercenary for hire.

he doesn't look like one to me, but I keep my mouth shut.

business has been bad lately though, he chuckles. my eyes are getting worse.

I blink. your eyes? I ask.

yeah, my eyes. he says. my village was destroyed in a fire when we were raided by the people of the North. like you, I was the only survivor. the fire didn't spare my eyes, though.

I study them. His eyes are blue, pale and shining.

I see.

so you know every road there is? I question again.

he sighs. for the second time, yes, he says. have a little faith, will you?

you don't need faith, I remark, peering at his worn clothes and tarnished swords. you need money.

how would you feel if I offered you a deal? I say.


iii.

I thought you said this path was close to forgotten! I shout to be heard amongst the clash of swords.

it is! he shouts from behind me. or well, it was-

oh, shut up! I snarl, blocking the blow of a half-drunk brute with a yellowing grin. I thought you were part of the military once; use those swords of yours!

I'm trying, he pants, skewering a thug through the ribs with his sword. I'm a little rusty. Why do you think I deserted the army anyways?

fucking son of a-

thwack.

the back of my head explodes in pain, and I turn, hissing at my attacker. he's tall and rippling with muscle, tattoos inked onto every inch of his bare chest.

what a pretty little thing, he cooes. you'll be a perfect addition to my bedchambers.

but then his eyes widen, realising. I know you, he says. I know-

crunch.

the pommel of a sword slams into the back of the man's skull, and with a groan he crumples to the floor. I look up to see blue eyes peering at me, weary and afraid.

are you alright? he asks.

I'm fine, I say, brushing him off. let's keep moving.

he nods. we should, he says. Thanos and his gang will be after us any minute.

I stare at him. you know them? I ask.

a sheepish look on his face, he says, they hired me to steal once. I took their money and never came back.

unbelievable.

I shake my head. let's just go, I say. I don't need any more of your cozy little reunions.

he smiles. you think that was cozy? he teases. try being tied to a tree for an entire fortnight.

you're bluffing, I retort, and I find myself smiling.

why does something so foreign feel so delightfully good?

he's slack-jawed, his face in awe, and self-consciously i snap my mouth shut. what? I snap. what are you looking at?

he blinks out of his trance. nothing, he says, a grin unfurling on his face.

but if telling you lies will make you smile, he says, then I wouldn't mind telling you a thousand of them.


iv.

it's been two weeks on the road, and we'll be by the Northern gates tomorrow.

aren't you cold? he asks. come closer to the fire.

I shake my head. It's fine, I say.

what I don't say is that if I get any closer, I feel like I'll melt.

crickets sing, and I hear him sigh.

just come here, he says, holding out a hand to me. please.

one heartbeat passes; two.

I get up, taking his hand as support, and curl up at his side.

you'll be able to find your sister tomorrow, he says, draping a blanket over me. do you think she'll be okay?

I've nearly forgotten about the lie.

she will, I say. I can feel it.

I consider telling him.

I don't.

that's good, he says, and he presses his body closer to mine for warmth.

I don't flinch.

I like it.

But I won't tell him.

will you miss me? he asks, blue eyes shining. and all our little adventures too?

the pause hangs in the air.

I will, I say, because it is true. I will miss you.

he smiles. how do I know you aren't lying? he teases.

I smile back. you don't, I reply.

by the fire, he kisses me.

I let him.


v.

there are guards at the gate.

it's too dangerous, he says. you'll be caught.

he doesn't know who the dangerous one really is.

I'll be fine, I say like always. stop worrying.

I can't, he says.

you can't follow me, I warn him. you understand? you take the money and never come back.

you don't need to tell me twice, he jokes. it's my specialty after all.

I spare him one last smile.

goodbye, I tell him.

he doesn't say the same.

you know where to find me, he says.

I pull the cloak over my head, swallowed by the crowd.

I shouldn't have told him goodbye.


vi.

father is angry.

he swings his arm.

my cheek burns.

But I don't flinch.

you have failed me, he says.

I know, I tell him.

I know he doesn't want an apology.

the expansion has been delayed because of you, he says. and we will delay it no longer.

I know, I tell him.

I know he won't rest till he sees Trost burnt to the ground.

a page dashes past me, whispering in father's ear.

father frowns.

bring him in, he says.

my heart lurches.

they drag him in; bloody, beaten, chained.

blue, blue eyes.

he's panicked, and he's ready to call for me to flee-

but he doesn't.

he sees my shining armour and the sword at my hip and the Northern crest emblazoned on my back-

and he sees me, he sees it all.

he wasn't supposed to see me like this.

this is not the way I want to be remembered.

do you know him? father asks.

yes.

no, I say. I do not.

father studies me.

very well, he says with a wave of his hand. take him back to the dungeons.

I exhale-

prepare for his execution at dawn, father adds.

I freeze.

they begin dragging his limp body back to the cells.

he doesn't even try to resist.

my daughter is forbidden from entering the dungeons, father says. not until the execution is over.

father looks at me, gaze as cold as ice.

do you understand, daughter? he asks me.

my fists clench.

yes, I reply.

I understand.

but I will not obey.


vii.

the screams start.

my blade gleams.

the cells are damp and dark, but I find his soon enough.

we need to go, I say, slashing at the lock. they'll find us.

he doesn't answer.

please, I say. trust me.

just this once.

he hesitates.

the shouting grows louder.

he nods, and I sigh.

quick, I say. this way.

we run, weaving past corridors and hallways until we reach the stables.

take one, I say, gesturing to the horses. hurry!

we ride.

the castle is awake now.

arrows rain from the sky, and guards come at us one after the other-

but they are no match for the crystal queen.

our horses hooves they thunder beneath us.

when we make it to the forest, his horse slows.

what are you doing? I snap, impatient. keep moving!

he's silent.

are you going to kill me now? he says.

my heart sinks.

how could he think that of me?

how could he-

no, I answer. I am not going to kill you.

more silence.

then what are we going to do now? he asks.

I haven't the slightest clue.

we run, I suggest. we keep running.

to my surprise, he shakes his head.

I heard about your father's plans from the guards, he says. I think we should stop them.

unbelievable.

The two of us against an army of 800,000 soldiers? I shout. you're mad.

I've been a coward my whole life! he yells back, startling me.

I won't be one, he says. not anymore.

this time, I am the one who is silent.

did I do this to him?

alright, I say.

but we do this my way.


viii.

the battle is raging.

and my swords, they sing.

where is he-

my father rides on a pure white steed, blood flecking its sides.

I charge.

you miserable bitch, my father says, blocking my blow. I should've smothered you in your cradle.

maybe you should have, I agree, swinging my blade again. but it's too late for that now.

our swords clash.

the battle rages on behind us.

when I'm through with you, father says, I'll be sure to make your lover hang from the highest tree.

you touch a hair on his head, I snarl, and you will wish you had killed me that day in the throne room.

My father grins.

and I see a hidden dagger gleam, see my own eyes reflected in it-

just as he buries it deep into my right side.

no, he says. this is much better.

I can't speak.

I can't feel.

I can't-

I hear someone call me.

my beloved, the one with the blue, blue eyes.

everything is blurring, but I see his sword carve open my father's chest, my father's face frozen in shock.

dominoes-

hold on! he calls to me. for fuck's sake, please-

I don't hear the rest.

My foot slips off the cliff's edge-

and I become a domino myself.

and so I fall

and fall

and

fall.


ix.

the water is freezing.

am I dead yet?

I don't know.

the water's surface breaks open-

blue, blue eyes.

he pulls me close, holds me tight.

can't he see that I'm dying?

can't he-

I look into his eyes.

he knows.

but I know he won't let go.

we sink deeper, deeper, deeper-

this time, I kiss him.

and as my lungs fill with water, as our breath escapes us-

I have never

felt

so

alive.