"Blah…" = talking

"Blah…" = singing

Chapter one: The Matchmaker

The rooster crowed as the sun started to rise. All over the little village was able to hear it; however, one young boy sat in his bed writing notes on his under arm. He dipped his quill in ink again as he wrote some more. He then set the quill down to admire his notes. Today was the big day; he was going to see the matchmaker. However, he did not like his role. Ever since he told his family about his sexual orientation, they wouldn't stop treating him like he was some girl. He was to flutter his eyes when he sees his true love, keep elbows off the table, don't yell, and obey your husband, etcetera.

"Ash! Come on, it is time to go!" called his father as Ash jumped out of bed and ran through the house. Once he got to the living room, his father sat near the table, sipping his tea, "Had a good night's rest, Ash?" he asked as he looked over the rim over his tea cup. Ash nodded, "Yes, Father. Why wouldn't I? Today is my big day!" Ash said, as he wore a determined expression across his features.

"You better hurry then, your mother is waiting for you in the village plaza."

"Ok, see you, Father." Ash yelled as he hurried to the stables. His Rapidash stood there in front of a stack of hay. Ash puts on the reigns and buckles the saddle onto the horse. Ash then mounted the Rapidash and hurried to the plaza. It was a few minutes of the Rapidash's full gallop and he was there. He hopped off the horse gracefully as he landed in front of his mother.

"I'm here!" He said as he lifted his arms into the air, as his mother gave him a stern look. Obviously unhappy, his mother dragged him into a building while lecturing him to be here on time. As he was dragged into the building, thinking that his treatment is over, man was he wrong! The old woman took him by the arm, "This is what you give me to work with? Well, Honey, I've seen worse." She sang as she dragged him behind a fold-up wall and undressed him.

"We're going to turn this sow's ear into a silk purse." She sang once more as she pushed Ash into the tub of water.

"I-It's freezing"

"It would have been warm if you were here on time." His mother lectured as the old woman began to pour water onto him, "We'll have you washed and dried primped and polished till you glow with pride." she sang as she washed up his hair, "Just my recipe for instant bride you'll bring honor to us all."

Ash's mother grabbed a sponge and turned his arm to see the notes on his under arm, "Ash, what's this?"

"Notes, in case I forget something?" I explained as my grandmother walked in with a small cage with a cricket within it, "Hold this, we'll need more luck than I thought."

"Wait and see when we're through boys will gladly go to war for you." Two women sang as they were combing out his knotty hair, "With good fortune and a great hairdo," the two women sang again, "You'll bring honor to us all."

He and his mother then left the building, seeing many village folk watching him leave with a soldier's training uniform (that was his father's when he was younger) on his body, "A girl can bring her family great honor in one way, by striking a good match and this could be the day."

"Men want girls with good taste, calm, obedient, who work fast-paced. With good breeding and a tiny waist," his mother and two other women sang in unison as his mother and another woman pulled at a ribbon to shrink his waist, "You'll bring honor to us all." The women sang again as they admire their work. They then left that building to come out into the plaza once more, even more village folk seemed interested in him.

"We all must serve our Emperor who guards us from the Huns. A man by bearing arms, a girl by bearing sons." The village folk sung in unison as he and his mother entered yet another building.

"When we're thought you can't fail like a lotus blossom, soft and pale. How could any fellow say 'no sale'? You'll bring honor to us all." In this building they did finishing touches, eye shadow to bring out his eyes, blush to bring out his innocence. They showed him a hand-held mirror for him to admire their work. He worked his hand through his hair to give it a messy, wind-blown look.

"There—you're ready." Claimed his mother as she lifted his head to look at her with the tip of her fingers. His grandmother then walked in, "Not yet."

Ash stood up, as his grandmother placed an apple in his mouth, "An apple for serenity, a pendant for balance." She continued as she put a yin-yang pendant into his pants pocket.

"Beads of jade for beauty, you must proudly show it. Now add a cricket, just for luck." Says his grandmother as she places a jade necklace around his neck and puts the cage into his bag.

"And even you can't blow it." His grandmother finished as she lightly slapped her arm with the back of her hand. Ash then left the building to head to the Matchmaker's building, "Ancestors, hear my plea, help me not to make a fool of me. And to not uproot my family tree, keep my father standing tall." Ash sang as he walked the path the village folk made.

"Scarier than the undertaker, we are needing our matchmaker."Ash and other women sang in unison as Ash hurried to the line.

"Destiny guard our girls and our future as it fast unfurls. Please look kindly on these cultured pearls, each a perfect porcelain doll." Sang the village folk, as they prayed.

"Please bring honor to us."

"Please bring honor to us."

"Please bring honor to us."

"Please bring honor to us."

"Please bring honor to us all~!" they all sang in unison as they all went to one knee waiting for the Matchmaker to appear from the doors. Finally, the doors opened with a loud slam. The matchmaker looked at her list, "Ketchum, Ash."

"Present!" Ash said as he stood up, raising his hand, "Speaking without permission…" the Matchmaker noted, as she walked inside, Ash following—who is mentally slapping himself. The Matchmaker then slammed the doors behind her as Ash sat down on the nearest cushion. The Matchmaker turned him to face her as she studied the boy with a horrifying stare that could send a Charizard running for the hills. She shook her head, "Too skinny." She noted, as she wrote down on the paper.

"Not good for bearing sons." The Matchmaker finished as Ash noticed that the cricket escaped, as he was trying to recapture the insect, he had to shove the poor thing in his mouth as the Matchmaker asked, "Recite the final ammunition." Ash nodded as he sneaked out a fan from his pocket and put it in front of his face like any other girl would, he then spit out the cricket and spoke, "Fulfill your duties calmly and… respectfully. Reflect before you snack—act! This shall bring you honor and glory." Ash spoke shakily as the Matchmaker circled him like she was some kind of vulture. Ash sighed a sigh of relief when he was finished. However, the Matchmaker seemed interested in his fan as she looked on both sides of the object. She then grabbed Ash by the arm and dragged him to his cushion, Ash then noticed that her hand was now covered in the ink used for his notes, "This way… Now, pour the tea." She said as she used her hand to indicate Ash to do so.

"To please you future in-laws, you must demonstrate a sense of dignity…" She said, as she used her hand to trace around her frown-marks, consequently it made ink markings there. Ash got so into the scene that he didn't notice that he was pouring the tea on the table rather than the cup. He then quickly relocated the tea pot to pour the tea into the cup.

"…And refinement. You must also be poised." She concluded. Ash then noticed the cricket sitting calmly inside the hot cup of tea… almost like he was relaxing. The Matchmaker then took the cup… unknowing an insect was in her beverage. Ash tried to get her attention but was quickly interrupted, "And silent!" She ordered as Ash quickly sat silently, watching her sniff the tea. Ash then took the next course of action, "Could I just take that back for a moment?" he said as he tried to take the cup by force. The Matchmaker played tug-of-war until they both lost the grip of the cup, and the hot tea splashed onto her clothes. The cricket then hid inside her shirt. Ash sat flabbergasted as the Matchmaker stood up and glared at him.

"Why you clumsy—" The Matchmaker jumped and danced uncomfortably as the cricket squirmed in her shirt. Unfortunately, her foot kicked the vase full of hot coals, which fell all over the floor. She fell, and sat on them with a loud thump. Ash heard searing sounds as the Matchmaker quickly got up, with her skirt starting to flame up. Ash decided he should act on trying to put the fire out. Although, he used his fan to fan it out. Unfortunately, it only made the fire worse. The Matchmaker jumped around the room trying to pat it out, breaking her table in the process.

The Matchmaker then ran out of the building to stand on her patio when Ash came next to her with the pot of tea. Ash threw the tea onto her which put the fire out… thankfully. The Matchmaker stood, not amused to his actions. Ash gave her the pot and walked by her and the other women hiding his face with his hand. He heard the cricket's cage snap closed as he walked further down the alley way to his Mother and Grandmother.

"Y-You are a disgrace!" The Matchmaker yelled as she threw the pot onto the ground, in which resulted it being in shattered pieces. Her make-up was dripping down her face as she fiercely stared into his eyes, "You may look like a bride, but you will never bring you family honor!"The matchmaker yelled again as she ran into her building. The village folk left the poor Ash and his family as they thought sadly. Ash couldn't take it anymore, and jumped on his Rapidash and left the village. Once he got to her small home, his father stood outside the door. They looked at each other in the eye, but Ash looked away. He couldn't face his father, not like this.