I do not regret what I did. Maybe I should have gone about it differently do not regret what I did. Maybe I should have went about it differently, but I will not apologize. That man got what was coming. I may not be sorry for what I did, but I regret what I have become. I regret the journey that I took to this point in time.
Regardless of how I feel about it, someone needs to know. To know the whole story. I cannot die while the world is in a shroud of mistruth. It's not a particularly happy story. Neither is it a sad one. A story of love, friends and betrayals.
This story though starts of rather humbly. I was nowhere special at the time. I was just on a simple patrol. I usually hated going on patrol, it was just so mundane, but I was happy for his patrol shift. I was giving me time to relax.
I was angry, angry at a lot of things. I was angry especially at myself, but I was almost equally as angry at my teammates. When I think back at it now I realize how ridiculous it was. All he was trying to do was help me improve.
We had been training all day, of course I hated that too. Nonetheless we were working on individual training. I had been going through different fighting maneuvers in different animal forms. I was pleased with myself, with my speed and finesse was improving. But apparently Robin, are team leader, was not all that impressed.
He had come to me right in the middle of everyone's training, asking me if I knew any fighting styles in my human form. Of course I said no, and that when he started to order me around. The first order was I was to learn a basic fighting style. The next order was that I was to start to exercise my "normal form".
At that point I was very irritated. When I am irritated I tend to do stupid thing, especially back then. I told bird boy that I didn't need it, that I could handle myself, that I could even take him on. When Raven scoffed at me, and my old best friend straight out laughed at me, then I was furious.
The challenge was set, and the crowed was anxious. I could feel a bead of sweat roll down my back as I stood there, squared off against Robin. I got into a loose stance, Robin was in a stance that made mine look like it belonged to a drunk.
He didn't want to waste time on our little match apparently. One moment he was staring at me, the next there was a immense pain around my back, and I was staring at the ceiling of the small dojo. I looked over to where the rest of the team were, I was still slightly disoriented. When I looked over I saw Cyborg bent over clutching his ribs, recovering from a laughing fit.
Raven was smirking at me, she seemed to be enjoying my failure as well. Starfire just looked at me with concern and pity. she was the first one to speak, asking me if I was alright. You had to love Starfire she was just a angle. Robin however was no such thing. The next thing I know I am being lifted up by green clad hands.
Robin looks at me triumphantly, as he hauls me to my feet. "See, this is why you need more training".
Something deep within me boiled at that comment. Who the fuck was he telling me how to be a hero. I've been in the game a lot longer than he has. I just couldn't hold it in. I knocked his hand away from my shoulder. Robin looked at me surprised.
"Shut the fuck up! I don't care what you think; I'm not doing a goddamn thing!"
With that outburst, the room fell silent. Cyborg was no longer laughing, and Raven was no longer smirking. Starfire just looked confused, and even more concern. Robin was still just in shock. Robin was the first to break the silence.
" Beast Boy, I just trying to help."
Bull shit, he didn't know what he was doing, so naturally I had to educate him.
"You're such an idiot, my powers don't drain any energy, so I would never have to rely on hand to hand combat, if I don't enough energy. My powers can't be suppressed, because they're part of my DNA, molecular structure to take them away you'd have to kill me. Its pointless for me to have fighting skills like yours, you powerless hack!"
As I said it I felt bad, but I was still too angry to care. Robin scowled at me, the others looked at me in equal amounts of shock. At that point I guessed that it be best If I left before anything else was said.
"Im going on patrol." I mumbled as I walked out of the room in a hurry.
I didn't know that that would be the last time I saw any of them for a while. That's what leads me to the most important part of my story, the end of my hero carrier. I was perched on the edge of an apartment building in a more deprived part of Jump city.
I had already found a couple of baddies to release some of my anger on, but there was still something deep within brewing. I hardly ever get angry, and I usually bottle it, but it felt as though I was about to explode.
As I was looking over the slum district of Jump, my sensitive ears were able to pick up the sound of someone crying out for help, she seemed to be at least five blocks away. So off again I was. As I got closer I could hear her crying more clearly. I started to dread what kind of trouble she could be in. That when I finale reached her.
Over top of her was a pig of a man. He had her pinned to the ground and was thrusting up into her. She was crying begging for him to stop. He just grunted and pushed her harder into the pavement of the alleyway.
"Hey stop!" It passed my lips before I even knew I said it.
The man looked up at me, he face grew pale, he must have recognized me as one of the Titans. And in the next moment he was off waddling down the alleyway trying to escape. I rushed over to the girl trying to see if she was okay. The first thing I noticed was her pants pulled down to her knees, the second thing I noticed was the blood dripping down her thighs.
She curled up into a fetal position, and sobbed hard. She was so ruined, you could she it in her eyes, that fat fuck had ripped the life out of her. At that moment, I have never felt so much hatred for one man in my life. I could not let that disgusting scum, get away with this, I wouldn't.
After promising to come back for her, I went after him. He wasn't able to get far, Just outside of the ally. I didn't give him a chance to gain any more ground. I tackled him to the ground breaking his nose on the pavement. I acted on instinct, pushing him over, I brought my boney knee into his chest, making him cry out in pain.
Before I could control myself the first fist flew, colliding into his cheek hard. My gloves were reinforced I could feel none of the impact. The pouches kept on coming. I didn't stop after his cheekbone caved in, I didn't stop when his nose was flat against his face, I didn't stop when his eye began to fall out of the socket.
When I did stop, and the animal inside my head started to withdraw, I puked. At the time I could not believe what I had just done, below me was the corpse of the rapist. His face was destroyed, beyond recognition. I rolled away from his corpse, unable to use my legs.
I looked up into the night sky. It was kind of funny. Not to long ago I was yelling at robin that I would never need my human form to fight, and here I just murdered a man with my bare hands. I was not able to think on it too long, when I heard the familiar sound of sobs.
"The girl!" I said as i shot up.
I rushed back into the alleyway, my adrenaline flowing at full blast again. When I came to a skidding stop next the prone form, she looked even worse than before. I couldn't waste time I pulled her pants up, trying to save her some dignity, however shallow that may seem now, I wasn't use to dealing with situations like this one.
With speed granted by the power of adrenaline I was down the street, running to the nearest hospital. I looked down at her, as I carried her bridal style. She had passed out in my arms. Even while passed out, her face holds a broken look. I can't help the tears filling my vision.
If I had been faster, none of this would have happened.
"I'm sorry." I whispered to as I ran, hoping she could hear me, and hopefully forgive me
