Rapunzel: Like You've Never Heard it Before
A/N: Welcome to my first fairy tale story. I wrote it one day, and I wanted to get some feedback on it, so here it is.
Disclaimer: Who really owns Rapunzel? There have been so many remakes…But, I know it's not me, so I don't own Rapunzel.
Once upon a time there was a witch. Me. Now, I'm not one of those witches you always hear about, pulling out their wand at every little thing. Seriously, they give us a totally bad reputation. I never even cursed the couple that lived behind me (even if maybe I should have). I just tended to my garden.
My garden. That's where this whole dilemma got started. My garden had the biggest, greenest, juiciest lettuce (A/N: I know in the original Grimm Brother's tale it's rampion, but I have no clue what that is.) in the whole kingdom. Everybody knew it, especially that woman who lived behind me.
One day she got a craving for some of MY lettuce. She said that if she didn't get some, she'd die! Talk about dramatic. Now, her husband was one of those really sweet guys, who does whatever his wife wants. He lover her a lot(for some unknown reasons), so he climbed over my tall stone wall to get some. Hello! What did he think I had a huge wall for? To keep bunnies out! Anyway, he took some lettuce and I let it go. As I said before, I'm not one of those hotheaded witches who curses everyone on sight. No, I was nice.
But the next day, he came back! I was as furious as a raging bull. Nobody takes advantage of my kindness. So, I marched right out of my house and stood before him. BANG! The terrified man looked up, startled, and dropped the handful of lettuce he was about to stuff in his sack. His face turned white as death.
"You may have as much lettuce as you like," I sneered. "If you give me your baby when she is born." I knew the couple had always wished for a child, and I was hoping to scare him out of stealing more lettuce. But, after a few seconds of hesitation, the man answered,
"Yes." I nearly fainted! I didn't really want his child! I'm not Rumpelstiltskin! But I had to stand my ground. I nodded and backed away into my house, as the man continued to stuff his sack with lettuce.
After a few years had passed, the baby girl was born. I came and collected her, without much of a fuss. I named her Rapunzel, a name I had always loved.
Well, Rapunzel was a beautiful, sweet child. Her long hair was gold and her eyes sparkled like diamonds. She would sing for me, and it melted my heart. She was like a daughter to me. But all good things must come to an end. As Rapunzel grew, many of the village boys fell in love with her!
After several kidnapping attempts, I decided that I had to find a safe place for Rapunzel. She agreed. So I built a tower. It was as tall as the sky, and had no door. There was just one window, blinking in the darkness.
Rapunzel sat there for three years, happy as a lark. Whenever I wanted to see her, I just called up to her,
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!" Rapunzel would thrown down her long hair and I'd climb up.
So everything went well for a while, until this prince came along. He was the only one left of the three Prince Charming brothers. Prince Charming I ran off with some clumsy, dirty girl who lost her shoe, and Prince Charming II married a dead girl! Anyway, Prince Charming III was walking in the woods, when he came upon Rapunzel. She was singing and it took his breath away. He was so enchanted; he decided to return the next day. What did he see?
He saw me, a monkey, climbing up Rapunzel's rope of gold. So the next day he tried it!
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!" She obeyed, and when he got all the way up there, she fell in love with him! Gross. It looked like they were on their way to escaping together and living happily ever after, but Rapunzel ruined it all. The girl may have been pretty, but she was lacking in the brains department.
After I had climbed up one day, she inquired, "Why is it that you are so slow I climbing up, but Prince Charming is with me in an instant?" Well, I blew my socket. Here I am, breaking my back for this girl, and how does she repay me? By falling in love with some prince!
In an act of pure rage, I chopped off all of her hair ad sent her away to the desert. While she was crying her little eyes out, I lay in wait in the tower. When Princey came around and shouted,
"Rapunzel, my love, let down your hair!" I threw down the hair, and just like Rapunzel had said, he was with me in an instant. He must have built up a lot of arm muscle in all those jousting tournaments. Anyway, the guy went ashen and stood there, eyes wide.
"Aha!" I screeched in my best Wicked Witch of the West impersonation. "You came for your love, Rapunzel, but you will never see her again!" Prince Charming backed away slowly, tears in his eyes. Then quick as a flash, he jumped out of the window! He's obviously a very impulsive person.
CRUNCH! He survived the fall somehow, but landed on a bush of thorns, which poked his eyes out. Serves him right. After all, I'd known Rapunzel for longer than he'd been a prince! Prince Charming wandered around, moaning like the devil of a few years, while I sat at home, practicing mey curses and charms. After all I had gotten a little rusty over the years.
Eventually Prince Charming found Rapunzel and they lived happily ever after, yada, yada, yada. I decided to leave them be. After all, Rapunzel had some kids, and I'll never again mess with a family. So that's the end. The whole truth. Rapunzel left me, her faithful mother figure, for some handsome prince. Oh, well. It was only to be expected, right?
By the way, I don't grow lettuce anymore, so don't get any ideas.
A/N: So, did you like it? Should I write more fairy tale fics? Please tell me! R&R!
