A/N: This is a little prologue to the story. This is a Lily/James fic, despite the goings on in this chapter. This is in Lily's POV, but the rest of the story wont be. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: This is not mine. All these characters belong to J.K.Rowling and no infringment on the copyright in intended.
Rating: T for language and some content.
Why Does Love Do This To Me?
Prologue
Why does love do this to me? I've asked myself that all day every day for 3 weeks. Twenty one days. 504 hours. And the conclusion I've reached? I don't know. I have no fucking idea why to me, love is the best and most wondrous bliss and yet the most hurtful deepest darkest pain.
It started over nothing really. We had run out of milk and neither of us could be bothered to go out and get some more. Then it escalated into a full on fight. One moment it was the typical couple bickering, 'You get it!', and 'No you get it!' then the next, 'You're always so damn stubborn!' and 'I'd rather be stubborn than an arrogant prat!'
Then the next thing I knew, my feet were carrying me out the door, towards my car and far far away from James Potter. I drove for hours, three to be exact, and yeah, okay I did feel guilty. And all I could think to do was apologise. So I did what I should have done three hours ago, and bought some milk before heading back to our flat.
Well here I was standing in the bedroom door of our flat (with the milk of course), being very quiet because I want to surprise James and what do I see? James and my best friend Rosie, in a very compromising position. Let's just say they weren't drinking firewhisky and discussing Quidditch. More like investigating each other's back molars, while naked.
So I did what I do best, which does help at the time but overall isn't so effective, and ran. Before they could see me, I had gone far far away from my best friend and my Fiancé.
Oh yeah, did I mention I was engaged? Just under a week before we had that damned fight. I'm actually looking my engagement ring right now. It's a piece of shit, really. No I'm serious. According to James (Fuck, why does it hurt to say his name?) it was spur of the moment thing so he had to improvise. That's why I'm wearing the ring from a cap of a Firewhisky bottle on my ring finger.
I don't know why I'm wearing it. I mean it's not like I'm going to get married right? Again, I don't know. What's a girl supposed to do when her man (Fiancé to be exact) cheats on her with her best friend? I haven't exactly been in this position before!
You see, for me, James Potter was my first everything. In every possible sense of the word. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first serious crush, my first serious relationship! The first boy I ever loved, the first boy who told me he loved me. And that's why I have no idea what to do. I'm reluctant to loose him, yet I cannot take him back after what he's done.
I suppose I'll have to talk to him tonight. It's the one year reunion that James and I are holding for our Hogwarts year. Everyone's supposed to be there. And in being their Head Girl and in helping plan the party, my presence is required. Besides it's not like I'm going just to talk to James.
Not everything is about James Potter.
So here I am, studying my reflection in the mirror and I look damn good, well I hope so at least. I splurged out today and bought myself a vintage frock. It's black and floaty and goes perfectly with my new heels. I mean, there's nothing wrong with a little retail therapy. My makeup's pretty simple yet elegant and my usual wavy hair is clipped back with the two hair slides James gave me. Funnily enough I was going for the casual 'I just threw some clothes on' look and yet, it took me the better part of five hours. Don't ask.
After carefully avoiding my parents (I mean it's bad enough I had to move back home at 19) I headed to the party, covered by my invisibility cloak (another gift from James). The party was being held at 'Sparkz' a hip new club for the younger generation of wizards and witches.
After slipping through the doors unnoticed, I began to weave my way through the crowd looking for a certain someone. The band was fantastic. They were a wizarding group who played muggle songs and were rather popular at the moment. Typically, when I found him he was surrounded by a group of people, who were laughing at something he had said.
I picked out his best friends, Sirius, Remus, Peter was strangely absent (I wonder if they know that they're friend is a lying, cheating, mother-) and there's Rosie, touching his arm! And he's just letting her! My friends are watching my best friend maul my Fiancé!
How the fuck did I end up like this? Engaged to be married to James Potter. Okay I do realise that to be in my position would be a dream come true for a lot of girls but right now I'd rather be engaged to anyone else. Even Severus Snape, Merlin I'm desperate!
So where was I? Oh yes, the public mauling of my Fiancé. Well I'm staring at James and Rosie (who is by the way shamelessly flirting with him) and suddenly she's tugging on his arm, pulling him towards the drinks table. So as you do, I followed.
"Rosie what the fuck are you playing at," James says pulling that cute, no very annoying face that he gets when he's angry. "I'm engaged to your best friend, in case you've forgotten!"
"If anyone's forgotten James," Rosie replies sweetly, "It's you. After all, you did start the other night."
"That's a load of crap Rosie. You practically threw yourself at me. Not that I sober enough to realise!"
"Well you didn't exactly push me away, did you James?" Rosie asks in that falsely sweet voice, pouring herself a glass of pumpkin juice.
"That night was a mistake," James says tersely, "I love Lily. I'm engaged to Lily. I want to be with Lily. I want to marry Lily," James explains as if she's only two (which sometimes I do believe).
"Well that's just too bad," Rosie says smartly. "I'm pregnant. It's yours."
"What?" I yelled simultaneously with James, pulling of the Invisibility cloak.
"Lily," James breathes, looking at me with this sad expression on his face.
I turned to Rosie, and my cold glare was enough to knock that smarmy expression of her face. I was vaguely aware that the bad had begun to play, 'Why Does Love Do This to Me?' Ironic much.
"You bitch," I say in voice that's colder than my glare. I raise my hand and with a resounding slap, I strike her cheek. "You little bitch!"
There was a collective gasp from the rest of the people who were listening in on our conversation, with much anticipation.
"It's not like I did anything wrong," Rosie says rudely, "It takes two to tango! He practically came running if you must know!"
Slap!
"Fuck you Rosie," I say with the crowd hanging on our every word.
"Oh come on Lily, get real. Like James Potter would ever be happy with someone like you. I was doing you a favour!"
Slap!
"Get out Rosie," I say calmly even though I'm practically seething. She doesn't move. Angrily I snatch the pitcher of pumpkin juice from the table and empty it on her face. Finally, she had the grace to leave. And darling James, well he was kind enough to look ashamed. I could feel the tears, welling in my eyes. I willed them not to spill.
"I don't know. Why does love do this to me? I don't know, I don't know," the lead singer of the band continued unaware that this very song was tearing my apart.
Slap!
My hand met James' face. He flinched, to me it felt great. I wanted him to hurt so much. To feel every fragment of pain that I did. I wanted him to understand what he did to me.
"Lily," James says pleadingly, "I can explain.
Slap!
"It wasn't what it looked like," he continues using all the infamous lines we know to well.
Slap!
Merlin the song was getting to me. And there was James so close, and yet he couldn't be further away. I've lost him. Or maybe he lost me. Whatever. Either way, we can't be together. The tears began to fall, running down my cheek. Gracefully though because when I cry my face doesn't go all red and blotchy. James wore a pained expression. Good.
He looked me in the eye. And played his joker. "I love you."
So I played mine.
Punch!
He holds his bleeding noise after receiving the punch he taught me to throw. The crowd gasps again, still watching us.
I didn't say anything. I didn't need to. He knew what I was thinking; they knew what I was thinking. My expression belayed the pain I was feeling, the disappointment, the hurt. And being every part of the accomplished woman that I am, I turned on my heel and walked.
The crowd parted and I was surrounded by friends yet I couldn't feel more alone. I could barely hear James calling my name. All I heard as I walked away from James Potter was 'Why does love do this to me?'
A/N: So there it is the prologue of Why Does Love Do This To Me. The song is by The Exponents. The rest of the story takes place roughly 4 years later and the first chapter will be out in about a week. I hope you enjoyed this! Please review, it makes me want to update faster :D
ZabinisGirl
