Brittany stands in the doorframe of Noah Puckerman's bedroom,frozen on the spot as her body feels with what feels like betrayal,and hurt, but why? Santana wasn't hers. Well,not officially anyways. They fool around ,even if its in the dark because for some reason Santana doesn't like to keep the light on,but it has to count for something right?
So why does it hurt as she stands there,seeing Puck's bare backside on display while tanned legs that she would recognize any time of the day are wrapped tightly around his built body,grunting and making noises that even Brittany herself has never heard the Latina make.
She opens her mouth,not really knowing what to say in this situation,so the only thing she manages is an awkward squeak that causes brown eyes to fly open and widen when they meet her own blue orbs.
Puck smirks between the two girls,making some sort of comment about both of them needing a ride on the 'puckasaurus' and Santana shoves him away in disgust and focuses pleading eyes back on Brittany.
The blonde gives her a sad smile and walks out and back into the party going on downstairs. She dosent even remember why she was looking for Santana in the first place. The only thing in head at that point was the visual of Puck between her best friend's legs.
I go straight home afterwards,despite Santana calling after me. I just have to accept this whoke situation. Whatever the hell that may be. Its obvious she doesn't want to date me,so that rules out girlfriends. She can barely touch me in front of anyone or without it being dark, so she must be ahsamed of me. And it would be really awkward for us to hang out after this,so we can't exactly be friends,can we?
I don't want to be awkward around Santana.
I want to hold her hand and kiss her,and wrap my arms around her protectively so she knows she's cared for. I want to spend hours making love and worshipping her body the right way,not like Puckerman or any of those other boys she sleeps with who probably just worry about getting themselves off.
No,she deserves the world. And I would do my best to give it to her,so why won't she let me? I know I'm not the smartest,and I have a few flaws that cause me to stand out more in other people's eyes, but I could make Santana happy. I would make it my life's mission. Or well, a however long she would have me's mission.
But she's made it clear that it isn't what she wants.
The following Monday was interesting.
After not necessarily ignoring Santana's text's all weekend,but rather giving her space, she decides to make a little scene after cheerio's practice when Quinn gives me a friendly hug,congratulating me for getting Co Captain.
"So she's your new best friend ,huh?"
We stand in the girls locker room alone,the other cheer leaders having already showered and made their way back into the gym.
"I always knew that bitch rolled both ways."
My eyes widen. "Quinn's a bi-corn too? I always knew she stared at Rach for too long.."
"Cut the crap Brittany." She slams her hand against the red lockers. "That little groping fest out on the field earlier with Q?"
"what groping fest? Doesn't the mayor hold those at the end of the year in downtown?"
"God,could you be anymore st-" She stops,brown eyes widening. "Britt.."
"Dont." I whisper and look down. I've heard that particular sentence far too many times in my lifetime and the fact that the one person I would give the world for dared to stand in front of me and let those words leave her mouth threw every ounce of hope I had for the two of us away. I pick up my duffle bag and slide it on my shoulder. "You know." I start softly. "Im not sure what a groping fest is,exactly. But Quinn was just hugging me. And it felt nice,especially considering the last few days."
And with that,I walk out.
I see her later that night. 11:17 PM to be exact.
She stands in the doorframe of my room in just a sweatshirt,which belongs to me,and some black sweatpants. Her eyes are puffy and hesitant as she stands there with crossed arms practically hugging herself. "I was going to bring you flowers."
Its weak and a little hoarse,but she sounds beautiful nevertheless.
"But then I remembered how you don't have a favorite because it isn't fair to the other flowers,so instead I brought you this."
I watch her dig through her pockets, pulling out a bracelet with a kitty charm. I almost give in. Almost.
Instead I just stare at her from my bed where I lean against the headboard,petting Lord Tubbington.
She visibly swallows when I don't respond,and sits the piece of jewelry on the corner of my dresser. She runs a hand through her raven locks and covers her mouth with her hand for a split second before finally letting out a choked "I'm sorry."
"I told my parents tonight. I told them that I ..that I'm gay. They just shrugged it off,B. They still love me."
I can't help but to smile,even if faintly. "That's amazing,San."
"I figured that would make me feel better,and it did somewhat. But I realized that while their support means a lot to me,what I really needed was my best friend. So I could apologize for how damn stupid I've acted." She sits beside me on the bed and sniffs. "Brittany,I'm so,so sorry. For the Puckerman thing,and today in the locker room.. You're not stupid. I am for ever even trying to fight my feelings for you. Falling in love with you is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me and if you still want this,I promise to give it my all. No more sleeping with other people or lights out or any of that."
"You mean it?"
She grabs my hand and places it on top of her chest,and I feel it pound into my palm.
"On everything."
