A/N: Missing scene from Satan's Witches,one of my favoriteepisodes that doesn't need this, but I thought it could explain some things from the change in Hutch towards the end of the third season and the fourth season. Angsty Hutch ahead…oh and the dream isn't just random stuff , everything has a purpose.
From Dreams, Come Nightmares
"Starsky? Starsk?" The voice echoed across the darkness, and was all that responded. "St-starsk? You there?" Hutch heard laughter and he grinned, recognizing it as Starsky's, relieved he went off towards the happiness. He walked out smiling as he saw Starsky sitting at a table with a lovely blonde.
Hutch grinned and made his way over to them, when a soft click caught his attention. There! A man, smirking, straight at Hutch with a bright red robe…and a tongue…like a snake's. The gun fired, three times, and the man stood still, there was no recoil at all.
One! The head…no…
Two! The shoulder…no…no stop!
Three! The leg….dammit no….Starsky!
It seemed so slow, the women stood up as if to help him…Gillian? Gillian turned towards the shooter, shock in her face and the man shot once more.
Four. Straight through the heart.
Fire blazed in Hutch's eyes, blue eyes cold as ice…he went to the shooter, not caring about himself. The shooter tossed his gun away cackling, and Hutch wrapped his hands around his neck, choking him as hard as he could. But he just kept laughing, the tongue slashing back and forth. Hutch gripped tighter, shouting, he didn't really know what…empty threats…he felt his flames as the tears burned down his cheek.
The laughter would not stop, and eventually the man morphed into a rattlesnake and slipped out of Hutch's hold. However, not before he gave Hutch a swift bite to his wrist.
The snake then slithered away, still holding the killer's eyes and hissed.
"Satan lives. Starsky dies. Satan lives. Friends die. Satan lives. Lovers die." The snake then continued snickering between each hiss and faded away into the darkness. Snake forgotten Hutch quickly ran over to Starsky and the woman.
The woman had become Terry, and instead of a bullet through her chest, there was one embedded in her skull. Hutch felt pang and grief as he saw his buddy inch his way towards her, blood flowing freely from his open wounds.
"Terry…no, Terry…please…" Hutch knelt down against the wounded Starsky and brushed his hand against his sticky mop. As so, he noticed Terry's body was covered in long gashes, in circular patterns…each one dry and rotting. Starsky then looked up, his indigo-eyes locked in pain and shock.
"How could you Hutch? How could you kill her? How could you hurt me?"
"Buddy? No…no it wasn't me…it wasn't…"
"Why Hutch? I loved her Hutch? How could you?"
"Starsk?" He reached out to grasp his arm, but Starsky pulled back disgusted, his wounds no longer visible.
Starsky was gone. The hurt was gone. Hutch was alone in a vast plain, with no one or nothing.
And suddenly a flower bloomed, gracefully up from the earth, shivering gently as it took in its first sun.
The flower opened its petals to reveal a gem and Hutch reached out to grab the sparkling colors. He smiled and fingered it gracefully, though he quickly dropped it in shock. The stone had tarnished and had cost him another wound along with the snake bite.
Hutch angrily kicked it away and sucked on his hand, wiping the blood away on his jeans, leaving a stain that seemed to make the wound much larger.
The laughter came back, deep bellowing laughter and Hutch tried to cover his ears! He did! But the voice kept laughing, laughing.
And Hutch ran through the plain, hurtling over rocks that were in his path, escaping tempting fountains, and found him face to face with Starsky. His friend was bound. Hutch looked around in fear, and tried to help his friend as best he could.
The laughter came back, and men in black and red robes appeared, chanting against the laughter. Their sounds mixing "Sim…Sat…mon…tan…imon…atan…" Amongst them he saw one in white, that faded and his color quickly became one of the others.
"Don't worry buddy, I'll help you, don't worry…" Hutch cooed gently into Starsky's ear. "I won't let anyone hurt you again."
"Hutch…" his buddy moaned "Help me Hutch…it hurts…oh God it hurts…"
As Hutch untied the rope that held Starsky's left hand he felt a searing pain cut across his wrist. Three wounds. He untied the other hand. Four wounds. He was getting weaker, but still, he continued. The left foot. F-Five…the final bound…nothing. It was too much. He had saved Starsky…so he thought…
"No!" Hutch cried as he friend was picked up from where he had just been freed. The robed men had gotten him. "Let him go!"
He was suddenly holding onto Starsky's arm, wearing a white robe, muddy from where he had been on the grass. He held Starsky up and supported his frame and found that he was hurting his friend.
"Why Hutch? I thought….you were my pal? You don't want to be my friend anymore?" Starsky looked up and as he did so, Hutch looked into his eyes, and the sight that was held inside them took his breath away.
Starsky…so sorry…
Hutch woke up in a panic, his dream so intense that he indeed had forgotten to breathe. He shook and felt a pressure quickly hardening against his chest and tried to take in air quickly. Mouth. Nose. Just breathe. Hutch felt tears come to his eyes, he began to weep silently.
"I'm so sorry Starsky…please forgive me…" Hutch croaked "Please, I'm so sorry…" Hutch took a couple of deep breaths before he realized thatit was all adream. Still the pain was great.
After that, he did not want to talk to…him.
Hutch was afraid.
That he would find the same thing in his eyes he had found in his dream.
Hutch only remembered bits and pieces from his nightmare, he hadn't one of those since he was recovering from the plague, he always woke up struggling to breathe from those too. Perhaps his mind had gotten used to it. What did it matter? Just a dream. Nightmare. Whatever.
It was over.
It was this damn vacation! This damn vacation was supposed to help him! Help him get back to something that was peaceful! In his childhood life he could always talk to trees and smile into the sun.
It was supposed to be fun! Relaxing! But was it? No. Not at all.
Starsky was right. It was a bad idea. Starsky knew they would never escape their life. Hutch wished sometimes that he was as smart as Starsky.
Hurt and disaster would always follow them. No escape. No outlet.
Hutch was stupid to even try.
Vacation! Ha!
When had they ever had a relaxing vacation? Hutch shook his head and quietly sat up in the bed, stretching his back, placing a hand over his mouth as he once again reassuringly took in slow even breaths.
Starsky had never known of his nightmares, and hell if he was going to let Starsky find out now. These were his demons, and there was no way he would share with anyone.
Hutch then stood up, smoothing out his messy hair. He briefly wondered what time it was before he crept out the door, peering at the lying figure on the couch. Starsky was kind enough to take the couch, offering Hutch to rest up his bad back; Starsky was willing to do almost anything for him since the plague.
Almost.
He still kept on riding that striped tomato of his. Still kept eating that junk he called food. But who was Hutch to change Starsky? Not a soul could, and that made Hutch's heart lighten somewhat.
Hesitating, Hutch made his way over to the prone body. Hutch then peered into Starsky's face, his mind automatically flashing back to his nightmare. Hutch cringed and felt his heart beating faster. Slowly, Hutch moved his hand over to Starsky's eyelid, and as gently as he could. Lifted it up.
His eye was rolled upward, and Hutch could only see half of the pupil. But that was enough.
It was enough because they were not at all the same eyes he saw in his nightmare. Hutch slowly closed it and stood up; maybe there was still hope in the trees too.
As Hutch left, Starsky wearily opened his eyes. Mumbling and wondering what had woken him up, he turned back and let his face sink into the pillow. Something telling him that tomorrow he should go fish with Hutch.
Outside, the lone form sighed in deeply. A mournful sigh, the night was still a deep shade of black, letting the person know how late it was. Stars twinkled and planets shone.
To anyone else in the forest, the night may be considered beautiful, magical, and peaceful.
At one time, that was Hutch too.
At another time, in another life, and in another place.
Now all Hutch could do was let his shoulders fall and his head droop.
His mind only replaying his nightmare.
He had only wanted a peaceful vacation with his best friend.
Then it seemed like a fair request.
Now he knew.
He had asked for far too much.
