"Gotcha," Hansel murmured through gritted teeth.

He pushed his legs to run faster to close the distance between him and the fleeing witch. This had been dragging on longer than he'd liked and it annoyed him. He was already in a bad mood, being woken from one of the better sleeps he'd had in a long time.

The witch's wild, dirtied blonde hair and the dark tatters of her dress flew with the wind as she frantically ran. Her snapped wand was gripped tightly in her hand though it was completely useless, its splintered end just a mere stick. She was just a running target. The witch looked back and met Hansel's eyes for the briefest second, dark circles connecting with predator brown, before he mercilessly pulled his trigger.

A loud bang split the air and dark ooze splattered in all directions as the witch's head was blown into bits. The rest of her body crashed into the dirt ground and slid into a stop.

Hansel slid on his heels to halt himself and approached the body to admire his work that'd taken almost three straight hours to do. The fucking witch that decided to interrupt his sleep was finally dead. This one wasn't particularly smart or strong but he had to admit, she really did give him a good run. It was just a matter of how much stamina he had to chase her to the ends of the earth.

He rustled through pockets to find his lighter as he shifted piles of leaves and broken branches closer to where the witch's body lay. When he was satisfied with the size of the pile, he crouched down close to his work and, with a flick of his thumb, ignited it. The fire slowly consumed the fuel and engulfed the body in mere minutes.

"There were only two of them, right?" he heard someone say behind him.

He turned to see Gretel holding the other witch's dismembered head by the hair- or what was left of it anyway. Edward was right behind her carrying the witch's body over his shoulder, blood still dripping from the neck.

"Yeah," Hansel said, nodding, "Where's Ben?"

"Still back at camp," Gretel said as she and Edward made their way towards the fire Hansel started.

"I didn't bother to wake him up."

She tossed the dismembered head into the fire and Edward followed suit, hoisting the hull of meat from his shoulders and flinging it with a grunt. The flames grew slightly larger from the additional fuel and the three watched the redness dance in the late morning light- to make sure the cadavers were burned thoroughly- before finally making their way back to camp.

"How far do we have left?" Hansel asked, slinging his gun over his shoulder as they walked.

The fall leaves and fallen twigs crunched beneath their feet. The witch-hunting four were heading for Linderwood, hired to exterminate the mountain witch that'd been terrorizing the town for the past few months.

"About ten miles," Gretel said with a small sigh.

The surprise attack in the early morning also woke her from a decent sleep. They'd been traveling for about couple days from their last witch gig down south and it was the first time they'd gotten at least eight hours of slumber. It was refreshing, for the lack of a better word for the witch hunters.

"It's pretty odd, though," Gretel suddenly said, "that two witches would be out in open like that… and to attack us out of nowhere."

Hansel shrugged, still annoyed.

"Well whatever the reason, we took their asses down," he simply said, "I just want to go back to sleep."

Edward grumbled in agreement, the troll having lost some valuable sleep as well.

"It's almost noon," Gretel interjected with slight irritation, "We need to start moving to make it to Linderwood by evening. We can't risk camping out like that again."

Hansel groaned at his sister's usual need for punctuality and just wished she'd loosen up for once. But he didn't argue in the end; he knew they needed to get to the town as soon as possible before the people were scared shitless enough to do something drastic themselves. The idea of another possible good sleep being interrupted didn't particularly appeal to him either.

"Alright, well let's get Ben," Hansel sighed.


"I can't believe you left me out of another witch chase… AGAIN," Ben groaned in disappointment, "Jeez, that's the seventh time now!"

The four finally made their way out of the sullen woods and came to the bright sunlight again. The landscape instantaneously changed in complete appearance and atmosphere right when they crossed the rickety bridge. They still had six more miles to go but the weight of their artillery Edward was dragging slowed them down more than usual.

"Well what can we say? You're one helluva heavy sleeper," Hansel replied as he adjusted the sling of his gun over his shoulder, "Even though it's been a year, kid, you've still got a lot to learn."

"Yeah, learn from what? Being Pack Mule #2?" the teenager complained, shifting the pack on his back to further prove his point.

"Of course. Besides," Hansel lightly patted the boy's shoulder, "It looked like you needed the beauty sleep."

Ben conjured a meager come back and the two continued to lightly bicker as they trekked through the green meadow. The place looked almost fairy tale perfect: flowers and crisp blades of grass swaying with the breeze, lone trees that had no branch or leaf missing, and the clouds looking like they could just reach up and grab it like cotton candy.

"What's this witch job again?" Ben asked. He realized he hadn't gotten to ask either the siblings of the details with this particular mission.

"There's a mischievous witch up in the mountains beside Linderwood," Gretel answered with an informative tone. The more she talked about it, the more she wanted to get there as quickly as possible. They'd been dragging on far too long for her liking.

"The mayor's letter said there'd been random attacks with no obvious pattern… and missing children."

"Oh god not that again," Ben groaned, as he recalled the incident back in Augsburg with Muriel, "Don't tell me that it's another one of those Feast of the Blood Moon stuff again."

"The Feast of the Blood Moon only comes around every few years so we're good with that," Hansel said as they continued to walk, "Looks like we've got to find a new lead with that one."

The wooden cart's wheels creaking and the soft gushes of wind added to the mixture of noise that got Gretel more agitated by the second. At the foot of the hill, she turned her head towards the troll. She was getting too impatient, but being Gretel she managed to grab hold of it before her temper lashed out.

"Edward, can we pick it up a bit?" Gretel asked politely, though her question was laced with irritation.

He looked at her with intimidated, tired eyes and let out a small whimper that came out in a soft growl. The cart was full of artillery, weapons, ammunition, terrain traps, more various tools of torture and the weight proved to be heavy even for the strong troll.

"Come on, Sis," Hansel said, coming to Edward's defense, "You don't need to be so pushy. We've got time."

"No, we don't Hansel," Gretel said, irritation more evident in her voice, "We're not even halfway there yet. You two need to get your asses moving faster, too."

Gretel brushed past him, aggressively pulled the cart's cloth covering, and grabbed two of the heaviest guns. She slung them over her shoulders and briskly started walking up the hill ahead of the other three, her strides long and strong.

"What's up with her?" Ben asked, slightly offended- though he didn't ignore the opportunity to stare at Gretel's derriere with a tilted head.

Hansel stared at his sister's back for a second- slightly taken aback by her bite though he didn't show it- before turning back to Ben as Edward neatly threw the cloth covering over the cart again.

"I think it's about that time of month again," Hansel said nonchalantly as they started to follow her path.

"Time of month?" Ben asked questioningly. The older man turned his head at him with a look of 'really?', eyebrows crooked and arms folded.

"Ohhhhh," Ben said when he understood, "Period, menstrual cycle, PMS, pissed at men syndrome. Got it."

"Yeah. But hey, kid."

"Yeah? What?"

"Remember Rule #1?"

"Yeah, yeah… don't stare at Gretel's ass. Sorry."


"Oh thank goodness you're here," the Linderwood mayor, Gandore, sighed with relief, "I almost thought you hadn't received my letter."

The four were escorted into Gandore's office by his assistant; Hansel and Gretel standing in front of his desk, Ben sitting comfortably on the couch like he'd never sat in one before, and Edward standing awkwardly in such a neat room. They made it to the town with only an hour to waste before the sun set for the day, thanks to Gretel's little 'outburst'.

Hansel and Gretel wasted no time.

"How many attacks have there been, when do they usually happen, and when did they start?" Hansel asked authoritatively, his folded arms emphasizing the boldness in his voice.

"There have been a total of twenty-five, I believe," the old man nervously said from behind his desk, "It all started about six months ago and the attacks are either days or weeks apart… sometimes even hours, so it's terribly hard to say. My townspeople aren't used to things such as this since the Cardarom Kingdom has been vacant of the presence of witches for almost a hundred years."

"Well, looks like your town's the first to break that streak," Hansel commented as he absent-mindedly wandered to the trinkets sitting on the head of the fireplace.

His hands found the small statue of an enormous woman sitting in the most unattractive position he'd ever seen.

"And that's why the King's ordered me to send for you witch hunters," Gandore said, double-taking at Hansel when he saw the younger man was observing one of his prized small statues,

"He wants this issue taken care of before the terror spreads to other towns in the kingdom. I've been trying, with all my power, to keep it contained in this one under his orders… Please put that down."

Hansel shrugged and inwardly questioned the old man's sexual preferences. He set the little statue down from where he'd taken it.

"No other towns have been attacked?" Hansel asked, pacing his way back to the front of the mayor's desk with arms refolded.

"No, just this one," Gandore replied.

"How many children gave been taken?" Gretel asked right after he finished he sentence.

"Only six so far," Gandore replied after he took in a gulp.

Suddenly an explosion, yelling, and a shrill shriek broke through the room's open window.

"SHE HAS MY BABY BOY!" a woman screamed in distress.

"Make that seven," Hansel mumbled.

He quickly grabbed for his gun that was propped up against the couch and Ben scrambled up from his light sleep. Gretel was already out the window with her crossbow readied in hand.

Hansel jumped out right after her and landed on the stone ground with a thud. The plaza was in chaos with people frantically running for their lives, not caring who they knocked over or stepped on. Glass was broken, carts were left unattended, and animals were just as panicked as they ran around in confusion. A building ahead was engulfed in flames, its front completely blown to pieces.

The disarray almost deafened him.

He caught sight of Gretel running south and chasing a hooded figure on a broom that had a caged child hanging on its tail. Hansel quickly ran after them after a split second and aimed his gun at the flying witch. But he couldn't shoot; he ran against the panicked sea of people, dodging them left and right and even had to jump over an unconscious body lying on the floor face down.

Gretel fired her arrows but missed the moving target. She couldn't afford to be so aggressive- she could hit the child if she wasn't careful. Still, she couldn't just let the bitch go. The broom flew at a slower speed than normal, for the weight of the child and bone cage weighed it down. The witch, cackling her brains out, conjured up spells that deflected every arrow that came her way.

"Gretel!" Hansel yelled as he caught up with her.

"We need to stop her before she gets past the town's borders!" Gretel yelled back as they kept running, dodging physical obstacles.

If the witch made it to the border there would have been no way for them to catch up to her; the gates were closed for the day at sunset and to wait for them to open would take too long. It would be too late.

"Hey! Wait for me!" they heard Ben bellow from behind them.

"Stay here, kid!" Hansel called, "Help Edward put out that fire!"

The two siblings took off faster, not waiting to hear Ben's arguments. They began to shoot at the cackling witch together, aligning their aims to make it impossible for their bullets and arrows to hit the child no matter how the broom moved. The witch deflected them with more spells but as she looked back, she didn't see the hanging banner before it was too late.

The witch crashed into the tarp, ripping it into shreds but the impact significantly slowed her down. Her flight faltered at the crash and Hansel took the opportunity: he ran on a ramp on the side, jumped atop vendor's carts and tackled the witch off her broom with a grunt. He sent the two of them flying to the side and they crashed into a fruit stand idly standing by.

Hansel gathered hits wits in time to pin the witch down on her neck with the heel of his boot and his knee on her stomach. She thrashed against his pressure but he was too heavy for her and the weight on her throat blocked air. Hansel threw his fist at her face and crunched the side of her jaw but only got a maniacal, choked laugh in response.

The witch kicked her leg up and knocked him face forward into the debris and took the open window to escape from his lock. She scrambled from the ground and made her way towards where her broom landed, the bone cage now detached and lying on the opposite side of the street.

Gretel had made it to where the child lay unconscious from the crash and was trying to crack the strong bone with a blacksmith's hammer she found lying about. The child was horrendously bleeding with a big gash on his forehead and a piece of linder stabbed through his side. If she didn't get to him in time the poor kid was surely going to bleed to death.

As she ran for her broom, the witch fired a spell at the shop that was right behind them and an explosion came from the inside. The force threw Gretel and the cage a few feet away and engulfed the place in flames that was already starting to grow to a monstrous size. Hansel was in pursuit of the witch but was diverted upon seeing the newly emerged situation to the right of him.

"HANSEL!" Gretel yelled as she painfully tried to get up.

The cage was still sitting only a few feet away from the growing flames and would be consumed in the next seconds. Hansel stole a glance at the witch who was already mounting her broom and realized he had to make a heavy, split decision: either go after the bitch before she got away or come to the unconscious kid's rescue for the cage was too heavy for Gretel to move alone, especially injured.

Hansel growled in annoyance- he hated letting witches getting away- and sprinted to where Gretel was already trying to pull the cage. He threw down his gun on the floor and grabbed a bone bar with both hands. He heaved with all his might for the flames were growing faster with every second that passed.

The pull was agonizing and the heat was searing, their whole bodies already feeling burned. They both pulled but the cage only moved barely a foot with their strained efforts. The child's blood was still spilling and it looked like he wasn't going to last any longer.

Just when both of them thought it was lost cause, Edward came running like a juggernaut down the street and grabbed the cage with both hands. He picked the bone structure up and hoisted it over his shoulders- almost too violently- away from the crackling flames.

"Gentle!" Gretel yelled as she fell to her knees from the pain of her burns, "The kid's dying. Edward, get him to someone who can help!"

The troll nodded and quickly made his way back to the hospital just a few blocks away, more careful with his cargo. As he left, men wearing distinct yellow uniforms came running with multiple buckets of water and rolled in a massive pump. They began to throw the buckets of water to try to put the heinous fire out and continued to shower it, refilling their buckets, when the flames didn't give.

Hansel glanced at up at where he'd last seen the witch mount her broom and found empty space other than debris. She was long gone.

"Hey," Hansel said, making his way over to Gretel in the midst of the firemen's yelling, rustling and the spewing of water from the pump, "You alright?"

He knelt down to his sister and scanned her body for major wounds but found nothing other than burns on the side of her left exposed arm. There were cuts and bruises but none were dire.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Gretel insisted and pushed away Hansel's worried hands, "Did she get away?"

"Yeah," Hansel admitted with displeasure, "It was either get her ass or save the kid."

"Well, at least one child wasn't taken away… if he isn't dead by now," she said, sighing and getting up in pain, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, more or less," he replied, picking up his gun that he threw to the side, "Come on, they've got this fire taken care of."

Loud clapping suddenly sounded from behind and they turned to see a crowd of townspeople had started to gather around them. They cheered, whistled, and shouted thank you's at the two with teary eyes and big smiles.

'Thank you, witch hunters!"

"That was magnificient!"

"That was incredible!"

"I want your autograph!"

"Thank you so much!"

The two looked at the crowd with befuddled faces as the people continued to shower them with graces. This was odd. Whenever a witch managed to get away from their grasps, townspeople in general were usually angry that they only managed to drive them out but not kill them. Even when they did successfully kill the witch, they'd never gotten a standing ovation such as this. The enthusiastic clapping, smiles and cheers were definitely something new.

The place really was unknowing to the reality of witches.

"This place is fucking weird," Hansel said.


I love the movie so much that I wanted to write a fanfiction right after I got out of that theatre. Good god, it was just great for me though it wasn't a hit with the critics. BUT I SAY ENJOY THE MOVIE FOR WHAT IT IS AND DON'T NITPICK IT!

Anyway, the characterization might be a little off since there was barely any development in the movie but I tried to incorporate funny bits that I thought were appropriate and tried to make it play out like a movie script in story form. I really hope it works. And all the characters and places aside from the ones already in the movie I just created and I hope they work too!

This chapter is mostly just a test chapter to see if my characterization, tone, and writing are on par for a fic for this movie. I know nothing's happened much yet but I'd just like to say that there's so much coming after this- I've got the whole plot line already down and I'm definitely excited to continue this if people like it.

Please drop a review! Critiques, comments, and questions are all welcome.

And what does Simul Aeternum (the title) mean? Look it up!

Thanks for reading! Until next time~