It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn
AU Quinntana story, strong Faberry and PezBerry friendships
Don't Own Glee ~ Shannon and Moose are my invention as are anyone else not in the show
Rated M for bad language and tough subjects regarding addiction and discussions of child abuse
IF any of that triggers you beware of later chapters. As always thanks for reading.
This is a repost of my original story that I took down for personal reasons.
Chapter 1: An Unexpected Goodbye
Santana walked into the foyer of the home she shared with her wife and daughter. Something was off, but she couldn't really place it. It was dark of course. She had been working later and later, since being awarded the biggest case her firm had in a decade. It was really quite an honor, and she was on the fast track to becoming the youngest junior partner in the advertising department. Walking into the hallway towards the living room, she saw Quinn sitting in the dark, on the couch.
"Quinn?" Santana questioned, "What are you doing in the dark?
"I was waiting for you to get home, so I could tell you in person," Quinn answered flatly.
"Tell me what babe, are you ok, is Shannon ok?" Santana moved towards Quinn, starting to feel anxious.
Quinn just sat immobile putting up one hand to stop Santana from getting any closer, "Everyone is fine, Santana. Shannon is fine. Everything is fine, except our marriage, and I'm done. I'm leaving."
"Leaving? What the fuck do you mean you're leaving? You're not making any sense, Quinn, and I'm tired so can we quit speaking in code?"
Quinn stood abruptly and faced Santana with her arms crossed tightly across her chest, "Sure Santana, I'm leaving you. I'm leaving this sham of a marriage, and I'm filing for divorce. Is that clear enough for you, hon?"
Santana squinted and looked closely at Quinn's face. This must be some kind of a joke. She didn't even know they were unhappy. Well, that Quinn was unhappy. What she saw on Quinn's face scared the hell out of her. Quinn's features were tight with barely concealed rage, and her eyebrow was quirked up. The vein in her temple was throbbing like it always did when she was furious.
Santana reached over and clicked on the lamp, "what is it, what's wrong, did I forget something important again?" She turned back to the blonde expectantly.
Quinn just stood and stared at Santana.
"Quinn, babe, let's just get some sleep. We can talk about this tomorrow, I promise." Santana said wearily.
"I have been trying to talk to you for over a year, there is no tomorrow Santana, WE have no more tomorrows," Quinn bent over, picked up her purse and headed towards the door, "I will leave word with your assistant where I can be reached. We can make arrangements for me to get the rest of mine and Shannon's things."
"Will you stand still already and talk to me? Goddamnit Quinn, you are not leaving me, and you are not taking my daughter from me. Whatever THIS is, we can fix it, we can work through it. Babe, we've had hard times before, and we always worked it out," Santana said breathlessly starting to panic a little.
"There is nothing to fix anymore, Santana. I don't love you, not the way I should," Quinn sighed.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Santana huffed in disbelief, "we've been together for over thirteen years, since we were seventeen fucking years old, and we've been married for over seven years! That doesn't even merit a discussion with you?" She stood there with tears streaming down her face.
"San," Quinn softened slightly, leaning forward and putting her warm hand on the Latina's forearm, "You have always been my best friend, the mother of my child. You will always have a special place in my heart, but I am not IN love with you anymore. I cannot be here in this house with you anymore, I'm sorry."
"Look, Quinn, if this is about my job and the crazy hours, I'll quit. I don't care about the job or making partner, I love you, I love Shannon, I love us, our family. I will do whatever you want," She said, pouring her heart out to the blonde in front of her, "Please!" she said brokenly, "everything I have ever done has been for us, for all of us!"
"I know that, San, I do, really, but it's not enough anymore. I am not happy, and I cannot pretend to be happy. It's killing me. I did enough of that in high school, and I swore I would never do it again," Quinn gestured wildly, "I cannot live a pretend life ever again. It's not good for me, it's not good for you, and it's certainly not good for Shannon!"
"So breaking up her family is good for Shannon? That can't be the answer! Let's try marriage counseling," Santana tried desperately, grabbing at straws, "maybe we can find a way to make you happy again, make us work again. If it's the sex thing Quinn, I'm sorry, I'm just tired from all the crazy hours. I still want you babe, and you're still the most beautiful woman I have ever met!"
"It's not the sex Santana, I just fell out of love with you, it happens, people change, it's nobody's fault." Quinn said sadly.
"Bullshit, Quinn! We took vows; we said forever, I meant it, did you? People don't change that much that fast! Or is there someone else you plan on spending forever with?" Santana shouted.
"Of course I meant it! How dare you ask me a question like that! When would I have had the time to find that someone else, huh Santana? I have been here, being your wife, and Shannon's mom. I've been cooking, and cleaning, and going to bed every night, alone! I have been carpooling, and PTA'ing, and baking cupcakes for the kindergarten class. For God's sake, I am the class helper in charge of glue and glitter!" Quinn said, her voice raising an octave or two. "I gave up my career to be a wife and mother, and I was very happy to do it. But I feel like a prisoner now, I feel trapped, and I can't live like this anymore."
Well, at least she's starting to show some emotion thought Santana! "What am I supposed to think Quinn? We were happily married yesterday, and today you're leaving!"
"Jesus Christ, Santana! Will you listen to yourself? Will you listen to me? We were not happily married yesterday. We have not been happily married for well over a year!" Quinn yelled loudly, cracks starting to show in her calm exterior, "which you might have noticed if you had even been the slightest bit invested in this family! I will not become my mother! I will not live my mother's life!"
Santana huffed out a breath, feeling like she had just taken a huge punch to the gut. "Don't you dare talk to me like that, Quinn Fabray-Lopez! I am not now, nor have I ever been Russell Fabray. How could you even compare me to that drunken, prick, bastard, father of yours? I don't drink! I don't whore around! Hell, I have never even looked at another woman since you! I have never raised a hand to you! In fact, I have never asked you to be anyone but who you are, who you want to be!"
"Well, I want to BE just plain Quinn Fabray again!" Quinn said quickly regaining her composure.
Where is my daughter?" Santana growled dangerously, "I want to see Shannon!"
"It's after midnight Santana, and she's already sleeping," Quinn said in a defeated tone, "let's not do this San, let's not tear each other apart. We were always best friends first!"
"Sleeping where, Quinn? I want to see my fucking daughter. Oh and FYI, I am not the one tearing this family apart. You are!" Santana spoke quietly and calmly desperately trying to contain her rage, "You will not keep my daughter away from me!"
"I am not talking to you when you are this angry," Quinn walked the rest of the way to the front door. "You can see Shannon tomorrow. I haven't told her anything, and I would NEVER keep your daughter away from you! She adores you! "Quinn opened the front door and headed out. She stopped and turned around looking deeply into Santana's beautiful coffee brown eyes, the ones that used to turn her legs to jelly, and make her stomach do flip flops. She took a deep calming breath, "And this, is exactly what I am talking about Santana, you used to know that, you used to know ME!"
With that she left, shutting the door firmly behind her. She walked quickly to the elevator punching the buttons fiercely, hoping Santana would just let her leave without a fight.
She got into the elevator, punched the ground floor and hung her head and cried. Unable any longer to keep her closely guarded emotions in check.
Back in their apartment, Santana stood looking desperately at the closed door, "But I love you." She whispered quietly.
Suddenly, Santana became aware of the pain in her chest that made her feel like she was dying. She couldn't breathe, and she couldn't stand anymore. Her legs would no longer hold her. Sliding down to the floor, she put her head in her hands, and sobbed brokenly for what used to be.
to be continued...
