Mikan's P.O.V
I sat there, covered in an absolute, cold sweat from head to toe. My blankets where tangled around my legs so I kicked them off before I curled them to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. My stomach was churning so badly that I swore I would get sick at any moment. The world was so dizzy around me. I couldn't think straight. My breath was coming in frantic puffs.
I swore I was going to die.
'Good, healthy air flowing in, bad contaminated air flowing out.'
I focused on trying to get my breathing pattern back to normal. Taking deep breaths in and letting slow breaths out. I just did that for a few minutes, until I was no longer hyperventilating. Slowly, my muscles started to yet again relax. The world came into focus.
Finally, the panic attack was over.
I glanced at the clock on my nightstand and saw it only read 3:38 AM. There was no way I was going to get back to sleep. Shakily, I stood, and grabbed a light jacket before padding barefoot down the halls.
When I reach the outside, I took a shaky breath in. It was a perfect night, and I was such a messed up girl. I felt as if I was contaminating the air around me.
'Think positive thoughts. Don't let the negative thoughts pull you down. Take a walk after it has passed and tell yourself good things. That should help you. Oh, and Mikan, I you ever have one of those that's not triggered by being kidnapped, or almost losing a friend, come to my office, ill help you through it.'
I had been told that after Natsume had been kidnapped and Sumire and I had went to save him. I had woken up one night and had an awful panic attack. The nurse told me all theses things to do. Well, she also told me to come back if they ever happened again, but I didn't do that… If you couldn't tell.
I don't know how far I walked, or where I was, but I knew that I was in the Northern wood, home of Mr. Bear. I just continued walking until I heard the sound of running water. I followed it until I reached a black, wrought iron gate. It was locked, so I ended up climbing the tall gate and landing harshly on the ground below with an 'UMPH.'
After making sure no bones were broken, I continued to follow the sound until I found a lake. I could hear the water lapping up around the shore, gently kissing the soft sand. When the beach ended, the garden began, and the ground was covered in rose bushes, and flowers.
Its was practically an enchanted garden. My mouth went into a small, 'O' as I took in my surroundings. It was so peaceful, so beautiful, and so pure. It was original and real. It didn't lie.
That was the beauty of nature.
Humans can lie and deceive and fake everything and anything, but nature tells the truth.
Nature will always be better then humans.
I sat on the beach, my nightdress pooled around my waist so my legs and feet could be in the luke warm water. Tears gently fell down my face as I looked at all the beauty around me. Why couldn't I just die right here and now? I would never again put on a fake smile and pretend that everything was alright. It wasn't, and I don't think it ever could be again.
I hid my issues, my sudden attacks, my true feelings away from everyone.
Because I knew what they said about me when I wasn't there. What they really thought of me. I knew it all.
I wasn't as stupid as they showed my as. As I showed myself as.
I wish that I could just sit here, basking in the calmness of night. The water gently kissing my legs, and the moon making my eyes look like the stars above. I wish that I could be taken away to a better place. I wish to love and be loved. Because wishing is all I have left.
…
Hotaru's P.O.V
I wake up in my soft, comfortable bed, and begin my venture to get ready for another ordinary day of school. After im dressed, I go downstairs and get my breakfast, gliding gracefully over to the table where all my friends sit.
" 'Morning Hotaru-san," chirps Koko happily.
"Good morning, Imai-san," says Ruka shyly.
I hear a chorus of good mornings from Anna and Nonoko and Misaki and Sumire.
Tsubasa flashes me a grin and continues playing his video game. Natsume just continues eating without acknowledging anyone. Just a regular morning.
We eat our breakfast in peace, a rare occasion indeed, considering Mikan's usual annoying begs for food. Speaking of Mikan, where is she?
Oh, well, its not like I really care anyway.
We all head to class and sit there talking amongst ourselves until narumi comes dancing into the room.
"Hello beautiful students, you all look adorable today!" he says as he scans the crowd.
"Oh, where's Mikan-Chan?" he asks. We all shrug our shoulders. What are we, her babysitters? I mean, I might sound cold, but you don't know what it is like having to take care of her. She is like a puppy, or a baby, all she can do by herself is go to the bathroom and smile at you. You have to do the rest for her.
"Probably late," I say nonchalantly. Im not worried, for all I care she can sleep all day.
He nods and dances out of the classroom after yelling "FREE PEROID!"
I sit at my seat while all my friends around me talk (excluding Natsume of course). It is hard to believe that there was a time when Mikan and I where good friends. Before I was whisked off to this school and we both lived in that small town.
What a joke.
I didn't expect to ever see her again. I got her letters, about how she missed me and all her complaints, and I knew I could have written back, but I didn't. She needed to grow up. Now, you can imagine my surprise when she shows up, out of no where, claiming that she came to be with me.
I was furious.
It was like I had to do free babysitting. I tried to ignore her, insulting her to no end, but she never went away. She just assumed I was kidding around. Well, I wasn't.
The others feel the same exact way. They think she is irritating and annoying. They think that the only good thing she has done was saving Natsume from Rio not to long ago.
That's the first time she had proved useful.
I just wish that she would grow up.
Im just so sick of babysitting.
…
Mikan's P.O.V
I didn't realize I fell asleep, but I must have, because I woke up to the sun streaming through the tree tops. I was still on the sandy beach, in that garden. It still looked so magical.
"Huh, is that a trespasser, I see?" says a evil voice as a figure walks out of the shadows.
I stand up as fast as I can and back up a few steps. As if he came from the shadows, Persona casually strolled towards me.
"Do you like my garden?" he asked coolly, picking up a rose and watching it die from his touch.
"I didn't know it was yours, ill just lea-" I said before he cut me off.
"I see that you do. It is very beautiful, isn't it. Almost as beautiful as you," he says as he walks toward me. I back up until im against a tree and he puts a finger under my chin, dark brown splotches appearing on the side of my cheek until they fade away, leaving an Alice stone in my hand.
He rests his forehead against mine.
"Such a lonely girl. Friends that mock her every move. An Alice that is kept hidden. Tears that she so desperately tries to hide. I know what you are going through. And I can make it all better. Just take my hand," he says as he backs away.
He holds out his hand to me, fingers long and spidery, and most covered in rings. He can… make it all go away? No more tears. No more pretending. No more hiding. Before I knew what I was doing, I had reached my hand out, and placed my soft hand, in his calloused one.
The second our hands touched, I felt a burning inside my chest and it slowly inched its way upward, across my shoulders and to the middle of my neck. I could feel my skin being burned away, and smell sizzling flesh. I fell to my knees, in to much pain to even scream. It slowly subsided and I pulled down the neckline of my dress to see what had caused me so much pain.
Right been my chest, was a heart. It was curvy, elegant and had cracks down the center of it. From my shoulder to my other one, I had a words, in fancy cursive writing.
And so, dear Alice fell down the hole and was consumed by darkness. There was no Wonderland, but there was Horrorland. Alice soon became one of the monster. She fed off the bitterness and disappointment she knew so well. She became Alice of Hell.
Is what it read. My eyes widened in horror. I couldn't see the one on my neck, so I rushed over to the clear waters edge. It was a thorny rose stem, wrapped around my neck, and a crimson rose on the side.
I had just signed away my soul. Desperately, I looked at Persona, who was staring at me with an intense gaze.
"Meet me here, tomorrow night, and I will take you to your new home. For now, just do what you do best. Pretend, Alice, pretend." he said, as he turned to walk away. Then he turned his head to the side, and snapped. I could feel something sharp dig into my skin and tighten and a thorny rose stem appeared in his hand, that led to my neck.
"And don't you dare try to disobey," he said. Then the stem disappeared as he walked away.
I just sat there, eyes glazed over.
Child of darkness
Stay away
From the garden of roses
Where nightmares lay
Children of hopelessness
Don't run in the night
You'll be led to the garden
Where the nothing is right
Children of unhappiness
Stay in your beds
Nothing can hurt you
Its all in your heads
Children, oh, children
Keep your dreams alive
Don't go into the garden
Where the roses thrive
Then I simply got up, and walked back to my dorm. Nothing can hurt me anymore. I took a shower, put on a long sleeve shirt, pants, and a scarf to cover everything and lay on my bed. It wasn't long before I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of roses, gardens and darkness.
…
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