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In the Course of a Moment: Moment IV

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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There was much to be said about a moment.

So much could happen in a moment.

A life could be taken, a new one could be. A life could be ruined, or a life renewed.

There was much to be said about a moment.

So much could happen in a moment.

A whole life could change, for better or worse,

In the course of a moment.

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Moment IV: Torchwood

In the moment of her death, Toshiko Sato only knew one thing.

He loved her, though he never said it.

And she loved him so much more.

She didn't know when it happened, though she was certain that she had in some way always felt that way about him.

"Owen, get out of there! There's a power surge in the system! When that hits, it'll trigger an emergency lockdown!"

She was scared, so scared for him. She felt like screaming.

Then the alarms sounded. She knew he was running to save his life.

Running, but he wouldn't make it. She had noticed too late.

"No! No! Tosh! Toshiko! I can't get out! Not like this. Not like this! I'm not going yet. Get me out of here, Tosh! Get me out of here! I've died once, I'm not doing it again! Where's Jack? Where's Gwen, Ianto, John? You want to watch the dead man die again?" He cried out to her to save him and all she could do was talk to him as he died, as they both died.

She tried to calm him, but he screamed. And she just wanted him to stop, needed him to stop.

"Why? Give me one good bloody reason why - one good reason why I shouldn't keep screaming." His voice was biting and it hurt. But not for the reasons it normally would.

She knew he was scared too.

"Because you're breaking my heart." she whispered. She started to sob.

"I'm sorry." he whispered.

"It's my fault." She said it and she meant it. It was her fault.

"No, no, no, it isn't. No, it isn't. Don't you dare go there, Tosh. I'm really sorry," she panted as her chest burned anew and listened to his voice, "What's gonna happen to me, Tosh?

"I can't." she cried. She couldn't say that, not that.

But he spoke again, "Please, okay? I need to know."

After a long pause, Tosh told him. "The containment chamber will be flooded with the irradiated coolant."

"Ah. My body will slowly decompose, as I watch." he replied.

"I should've been able to stop it." She was angry now, angry she couldn't stop it, angry he would die, angry that she would.

"Oh, come on, Tosh. There's no way you could've anticipated that power spike, come on. Besides, you've saved… my back so many times in the past. Right from the moment I joined." She was always there for him, even when he didn't want it. When he was drunk or angry or grieving. She was always there. She loved him so much, and he was going to die.

"Your second week I had to cover for you, pretend I was a medic, cos you were hung over and unreachable." She remembered it perfectly. She met the Doctor then, though she never told Jack.

This was natural, this talking. Remembering their time together instead of what was happening now.

"What was it, Space Pig?" he laughed a little.

"Space Pig." she affirmed.

He spoke quietly, "Yeah."

She smiled, though it hurt.

"We never did get that date, did we, you and me? We sort of, er, missed each other. It was my fault. I didn't... didn't notice until it was too late. I'm sorry." her heart shattered then.

"Me too." she choked out.

"It's starting." he said quietly, though she knew it really meant the end.

"Owen..." she cried out to him.

"It's all right. Really, Tosh. It's all right." his last words were comfort. Not for him, but for her. He was there for her as he died. And though she was going to die soon, she knew that in whatever life was next, she would never forget that, forget him.

"Toshiko? Toshiko? Gwen, I need help down here!" Jack was there. He reached for her.

Then there was Gwen and Ianto. She wouldn't die alone, not like Owen. It wasn't far to Owen.

But she was glad that she wasn't alone.

She remembered the video she made for them in the very real case of her death.

She remembered her words perfectly.

Okay. So...if you're seeing this, I guess it means, I'm... well, dead. Hope it was impressive! Not crossing the road or an incident with a toaster. I just wanted to say... it's OK. It really is. Jack, you saved me. You showed me all the wonders of the universe and... all those possibilities. And I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Thank you. And Owen, you never knew. I love you. All of you. And... I hope I did good.

"The nuclear plant at Turnmill. Owen's there." Ianto's wonderful but horrified voice interrupted her internal repeating.

"Sealed in. Re-routed the blast. I couldn't save him." she felt so guilty, but then she remembered. He died talking to her, comforting her. She couldn't die with guilt when he wanted her so badly to be okay.

Ianto said her name softly.

"There you go, darling. Talk to me now, come on. Hey! Tosh!" Gwen yelled for her.

But she looked at Jack, the man who had brought her here, brought her to Owen. She felt a warmth like arms-like Owen was holding her as she passed on.

She smiled and then she let go.

In a moment, two lives were lost. But neither one of them were alone. Not really.


x End of Moment IV

For Seheuh and Nifafin.