Title: Fall Apart
Rating: M
Summary: Reid falls hard for Prentiss, but it's too late
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds but I own the plot of this fanfic
Status: One-Shot
You always thought I was stronger,
I may have failed but I loved you from the start
Fall For You
by
Secondhand Serenade
"She's been transferred."
The words still echo in your head. She's been transferred. First you were shocked. You were in disbelief. Then, when it finally set it, you thought about it logically.
Strauss guaranteed none of you would ever leave the BAU. That none of you would ever get any further in the your careers.
"How?"
You wanted to ask a million questions. How? Where? Why? More importantly, when?
He had no answers for you.
You were shocked. You retreated back to your desk, and sat there, watching your computer screen, but not really seeing it.
How could they break up the team? How could they do this to them, after everything that they'd been through together?
How could Hotch let them do this?
Had it all been for nothing? Had all the sacrifices they'd made over the years, their careers, their lives, not meant anything?
Had everything they'd done, everything they'd done for each other, had it had no effect? Had they not seen that they needed each other.
You think back to the conversation. You weren't really listening. You were too shocked. You know Morgan wasn't listening either, too angry to listen clearly.
"She asked for it."
Now you realise it. She wanted it. She'd never said anything, never shown any sign.
But you probably didn't notice. You were all caught up in your own lives, your own problems that you failed to see what was wrong.
Could you have fixed it? Could you have stopped this? Could you have stopped the team from falling apart?
Were they going to fall apart?
Two had already fallen, disappeared from their lives. What was one more? Was the team slowly falling apart, destined to be a distant memory, a footnote in the history books?
You think of every moment you shared with her.
Every moment, recent and long ago.
You go over the recent times in your head, over and over again.
There was no sign of the impending trouble. No sign that she would leave. No sign that she would just leave them, leave them one less.
You watch Morgan carefully. You wonder if he's going through the same moments in his head, asking the same questions.
You want to say something, anything. But you can't, because you don't know what to say. What can you say? What can you possibly say right now, that'll help, that'll lessen the pain everyone is feeling right now.
You don't even know if the others know. As far as you know, only you and Morgan have received the news.
But as Garcia and JJ walk down the steps to your desk, you realise they know.
You just have to see their faces.
You stand up and hug them both. They had no idea of this either. You desperately want to ask Hotch if he knows why, but you know he probably doesn't. He would tell you if he knew.
Garcia and JJ are gone, back to their paperwork and jobs. You sit again, fidgeting in your seat with a pen, going over the memories again. You glance up as a shadow falls over your desk, and Morgan sits on your desk, watching you.
"You alright, kid?" He asks, biting his bottom lip. You nod.
"I keep wondering why." You reply. "She never said anything. It never seemed like anything wrong." Morgan nods in understanding.
"I know, man." Morgan says.
"We should've noticed something was up. We should've realised." You said, starring at the desktop wallpaper of your computer. The seven of you, laughing and smiling at the camera at your favourite restaurant. You with your arm around Prentiss, Morgan joking with Garcia and JJ, Hotch and Rossi laughing at some distant memory.
You all seemed so happy then.
And it wasn't even that long ago.
Morgan follows your line of sight.
"We couldn't have noticed, man." He says, still starring at your computer.
"We analyse human behaviour, we should've noticed." You say, glancing up at the guy you consider your older brother.
"Reid, man, it's not our fault. She made a decision." He says, placing his hand on your shoulder.
"But we should have known." You insist, resisting the temptation to brush him off. He looks hurt at your determination to ignore what he's saying. You want to apologise but you feel too hurt right now.
"Yes. Okay, I admit we should've noticed. But it's too late now, man." He says, taking a deep breath.
"Do you know where to?" You asked, holding your breath. He glances up at you, unsure whether to answer your question.
"LA field office." He finally replies, refusing to make eye contact.
"Why LA?" You asked.
He shrugs, but you know he knows.
"Reid, man, we can't stop her from doing what she wants because it hurts us. It's selfish." He says, bringing you back to the present.
"I know." You whisper. "But-" He puts up a hand to stop you.
"But nothing, man. Let it go." He says. You can't help but be angry at him.
"Let it go? How can you just let it go? She's leaving us, without telling us and you're standing here, telling me to let it go?" You're voice only raises slightly towards the end.
"Reid is there are another reason?" Morgan suddenly asks, and your anger subsides into confusion.
"What?" You ask, confusion plastered on your face.
"Reid, is there something going on between you two?" He asked. You feel the anger returning.
"No Morgan." You say, turning back to your computer and your desktop wallpaper. The seven smiling faces. He searches your face for clues. "And even if there was, I would tell you Morgan." You add, to make him feel better. He looks unconvinced.
"But you want there to be something." Morgan says. You stay up and walk away, into the conference room. He's following you.
"Morgan, just leave me alone." You say over your shoulder and you know that that hurts him. But he continues following you.
You close the door behind the both of you as you enter the conference room. You turn around as he sits on the lounge near the table.
"Reid, I want to help you, man." He says. "And I can't do that if you don't let me in." You know you look unconvinced. You aren't. How is he going to help?
"Morgan, Prentiss is gone. Even if I did want something, it's too late." You say, sitting in one of the chairs at the conference table.
"It's never too late, man." He says, watching you with such an intensity you look away.
You glance at him. He's serious.
"Reid, think about it. You know what you have to do." He says, settling back onto the lounge.
You know, deep down, he's right. You search your feelings. You know it's true. It's always been true. Ever since she joined the BAU you've felt something.
But you pushed it down. Pushed it far down until you felt nothing, hiding from your feelings so you couldn't feel any pain.
You didn't want to feel any pain, so you pushed it all down, trying to forget all your feelings and dreams. Was Morgan right? Should you go find her? Should you tell her everything you've been hiding for all these years?
You make up your mind.
You stand up and tell him you'll be back.
You can feel your eyes on him as you leave the room.
"Why LA?" You ask again, firmer this time.
He glances up at you.
"There's an opening over there for Unit Chief of the Violent Crimes Unit." He finally replies. You frown. You're confused again.
"Violent Crimes?" You ask. "Why the VCU? Isn't this violent enough for her?" You ask. You know you're being irrational. And he knows this too. He finally looks up at you.
"Reid, she made her choice." He says firmly. You nod and look at your shoes, embarrassed.
"I just don't get why she asked for a transfer." You say quietly.
"None of us do, Reid. It's come as a shock to all of us."
It came as more of a shock to you, than to him you realise. He's known all along this could happen. He's understood her for so long, understood her reasoning of things far better than you ever have.
As you pull up at the red light, you regret this. Are you making a huge mistake? Is this a huge mistake? Should you turn around and go home, before the hurt can grow any larger?
You hit the gas and the car lurches forward. You have to make a decision now. Before you back out you have to make a decision.
Five minutes later you pull up at her apartment.
You realise. It's slow first, then it hits you.
You love her.
You've made your decision.
You take deep breaths as you walk up the pathway to the lobby of the apartment. Your step quickens as you walk up the stairs to the second floor. You reach her unit door.
Something's not right.
The door is slightly ajar. Only slightly. If you weren't an FBI Agent, you wouldn't have even noticed. You place your hand on her gun. You nudge the door with your foot.
The door swings open.
The apartment is empty.
She's gone.
