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In the Course of a Moment: Moment III

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There was much to be said about a moment.

So much could happen in a moment.

A life could be taken, a new one could be. A life could be ruined, or a life renewed.

There was much to be said about a moment.

So much could happen in a moment.

A whole life could change, for better or worse,

In the course of a moment.

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Moment III: Torchwood

Owen Harper was a dead man. He knew that long before she had spoken her words. They both had. But dead and gone were not synonymous. He'd proven that with his unlife, brutally and honest unlife.

"Owen, get out of there! There's a power surge in the system! When that hits, it'll trigger an emergency lockdown!"

He could hear in her voice something that he never wanted to hear. Panic, blind panic. She was scared, so scared for him.

Then the red lights and alarms-all the usual bells and whistles-sounded.

Fruitlessly, he ran.

And it was still too late.

In the moment that followed, Owen Harper realised for the first time since he had been killed, that he did not want to die. In the moment that followed, he died with a name on his lips and a single regret in his heart.

"No! No! Tosh! Toshiko! I can't get out! Not like this. Not like this! I'm not going yet. Get me out of here, Tosh! Get me out of here! I've died once, I'm not doing it again! Where's Jack? Where's Gwen, Ianto, John? You want to watch the dead man die again?" I can't die alone, not now, not without you.

"Owen, just stay calm."
How could she stay so calm? How could she?

"Oh, WHY should I do that? Where's the fun in that? I'm gonna rage my way to oblivion." In more sorrow that anger, he began to scream.

"Please stop." her voice was so quiet, so. . . sad.

"Why? Give me one good bloody reason why - one good reason why I shouldn't keep screaming." He heard he bite in his voice and instantly regretted it.

"Because you're breaking my heart." she whispered. He could hear her sobs and felt some deeper sorrow. Panting, he slid down the cabinets and hung his head.

"I'm sorry." he whispered. And he was sorry. Sorry for a lot of things. Sorry he couldn't be with her, the one person who had always believed in him, was always protecting him, always there for him.

"It's my fault."

Her fault? No, this was not her fault! It could never be her fault.

"No, no, no, it isn't. No, it isn't. Don't you dare go there, Tosh. I'm really sorry," he paused before continuing, hearing her quiet panting. Then he asked her a question he knew she would hate, "What's gonna happen to me, Tosh?

"I can't." she cried.
He swallowed and spoke again, "Please, okay? I need to know."

After a long pause, Tosh told him. "The containment chamber will be flooded with the irradiated coolant."

"Ah. My body will slowly decompose, as I watch." he replied.

"I should've been able to stop it." her anger at herself made him hurt.

"Oh, come on, Tosh. There's no way you could've anticipated that power spike, come on. Besides, you've saved… my back so many times in the past. Right from the moment I joined." She was always there for him, even when he didn't want it. When he was drunk or angry or grieving. She was always there.

"Your second week I had to cover for you, pretend I was a medic, cos you were hung over and unreachable."

This was natural, this talking. Remembering their time together instead of what was happening now.

"What was it, Space Pig?" he laughed a little.

"Space Pig." she affirmed.

He smiled and spoke quietly, "Yeah."

He didn't regret a lot of things about his life. When he was alive, he never really made time for regrets-especially after Katie had died. But there was something he regretted so much.

"We never did get that date, did we, you and me? We sort of, er, missed each other. It was my fault. I didn't... didn't notice until it was too late. I'm sorry." he tried not to cry then.

At her next words, he nearly broke, "Me too."

The screen changed to say Coolant Venting and the machines began to bleep.

"It's starting." he said quietly, though he knew it really meant the end.

"Owen..." she cried out to him.

The displays turn to white as the radiation filtered in.

"It's all right. Really, Tosh. It's all right." he knew they would be his last words. But if that meant she knew that he thought of her as he died, then he would be happy in that.

And then, in the course of a moment, he was gone.

Taken away. Over. It was done.


End of Moment III.

Thank you!

For hannah-askance and crazy-lemon-lady. My sisters.