My third attempt at a fluffy/funny oneshot :) If you read and review ill love you forever! (Also, I had several attempts at uploading it, computer problems.. lets just say. :P)
So yes, nothing is mine but the storyline. All other credit goes to the one and only JK Rowling, who without, we would all be a little lost.
"Reckon it's safe to slip out to the kitchens yet?" Peter was sprawled on his bed, moving his wand in aimless circles above him and, as usual, was thinking about food.
"Breakfast was half an hour ago! You can't be hungry already, it's just not possible."
James voiced his obvious disbelief, turning to face the smaller boy from his vantage point on the floor. Both he and Peter were doing their best to ignore the giggles and growls coming from the other side of the room, where Remus and Sirius were having a very physical fight over a book, yet it looked suspiciously like an opportunity to get as close as possible to each other without removing any clothing.
"Yeah, well… I'm bored ok? And when I'm bored, I eat." Peter tried to justify his previous statement, but was met with a slightly haughty look from James. Sirius, from the other side of the room, surprised them all by saying, "Good idea, Peter. Let's go to the kitchens."
"What's your alterior motive, Pads?" James, always quick to jump to conclusions, eyed both Sirius and Remus with equal suspicion, and Remus went slightly pink and put a hand to his neck. Sirius just grinned and said, "Oh, always the suspicious one, aren't you Prongs. To tell the truth I didn't eat much breakfast, I'm sick of being stuck in this dormitory and I want a chance to use the Map. Why invent something so brilliant if we hardly ever use it!"
"Alright, alright, we'll go then." James gave in to the pleading looks from Sirius and Peter. "Although I don't know why you need my approval, normally you just go…"
"Oh get off your high horse James, you're just determined to stay in your huff. It's hardly our fault Lily was already going to Hogsmead with Snivellous, so stop taking it out on us."
There was a silence after Sirius' firm reprimand, then James visibly relaxed and said, "You're right. Sorry. He's just so… so… slimy and snivelly and Slytherin-y, and what does she see in him anyway! It's not like-"
But Remus, sensing a full scale rant was coming, said quickly, "Yes James, we all agree. She'd be mad to pick him over you. But from what I hear, they're just friends, and you're in with no less chance than you were yesterday."
"Well actually, after you hexed Snivelly in the hallway yesterday…" Began Sirius, but after a very stern look from his boyfriend, decided against it. "Right, not helping. Sorry."
With a sigh, James hauled himself up from the floor. "Where's the map then, since you're so eager to use it."
Sirius leapt up and started to rifle through his trunk, sending robes, quills, shoes and sweet wrappers all over the already messy room. After a minute of this, he stopped. Turning round wildly, he dived under his bed, and they could hear him moving things around. The other three watched with growing interest as he crawled backwards out from under the bed, and eyed them worriedly.
"I uh… Have any of you got it?"
James gave a groan and slapped his hand to his forehead. "Sirius, you haven't lost it have you? Tell me you haven't."
"I uh... Haven't lost it?" But the expression on his face said otherwise. Peter gave a low moan at the thought of going without food until lunch, and Remus just shook his head. James crossed the room and started looking through everything Sirius had, only moments ago, thrown from his trunk. But after a good 5 minutes, he had to agree that the map was nowhere to be found.
"We could still go to the kitchens without the map?" Peter cut in.
"It's not about the kitchens any more Peter, we need to find this map! Who knows who might find it and use it!" Sirius had his panicked voice on, which Remus happened to know usually led to rash decisions and a lack of thinking-before-acting.
"Look Pads, where could it have gone? It hasn't left the dorm since I put it back in your trunk last week! It can't have gone far."
"That's the thing, Rem, it has! I had it in my pocket yesterday so I could find you after detention!" Then, realising what he said, he coloured slightly and sat down on the bed. James was glaring at him dangerously.
"Sirius, you know one of us can't just take it and use it whenever! This is the exact reason we made that rule! Now it could be anywhere!"
"I'm sorry okay! I didn't mean to!"
Remus, always the peace-keeper, cleared his throat and said, "Well it doesn't matter who lost it, it just matters that we find it."
James huffed loudly, "Yeah well, we all know you're more than slightly biased, your boyfriend can do no wrong…"
"Don't turn this on me! I'm not the one who lost it!" Remus said, slightly louder.
"Hey, I thought you said it didn't matter who lost it!" Sirius said, louder still.
A growl from the other side of the room stopped them mid-argument. They turned and Peter gave an apologetic smile, holding his stomach. "I really am hungry, guys…"
After a short silence, Sirius muttered, "Sorry for losing the map…"
James nodded, "I know Pads. And we'll find it, we just need to retrace your steps."
Remus sighed. This was looking to be quite a long Saturday.
The last time Sirius remembered having the map was to find the others after his detention the day before. They retraced his steps from the trophy room, through the corridors and out onto the grass outside, but there was no sign of the map.
"Oh!" cried Peter, "We took the passageway back to the common room! It could have fallen out there?" The others agreed. As Sirius pointed out, "If it's a short cut, there's a lot less ground to cover in looking for the map!" His reasoning did not bode terribly well with the others, so he turned his gaze to the floor and didn't say anything else.
James was the first to point out that it could easily be in the common room. "I don't know why we didn't check there first…" he muttered. Peter suggested, "Well how about me and you go and look there now, and leave Sirius and Rem to search the passageway?" James agreed, and as they walked away Peter could be heard asking, "And do you think it would be ok if we made a quick stop at the kitchens on the way there…?
Remus took out his wand and tapped the bricks on the wall of the corridor, and it shrank back to reveal the narrow passage. Sighing, he stepped inside. "Lumos." And then, "Ow!"
"Why did you stop! That hurt!" muttered Sirius from behind him.
"You walked into me, Sirius! It's hardly my fault if you can't look where you're going."
"When it's pitch black it's a bit hard to see where you're going..." came the disgruntled reply, and he lit his own wand.
There was a silence as both boys focussed the light of their wands on the ground in front of them, looking for the map. Then Remus felt something grab his waist, and he jumped back into Sirius, who quickly withdrew his hand.
"You almost gave me a heart attack!" Remus gasped.
"Sorry Rem, but I was thinking, we're alone in a dark passageway, together. Alone. In the dark."
"What are you getting at?" Remus was glad Sirius couldn't see the smile playing on his lips, and he muttered a quick, "Nox," to his wand. Sirius dropped his, still lit, onto the floor of the tunnel, and turned Remus to face him. He shoved Remus against the wall of the tunnel and pressed their lips together. Remus immediately responded, moving against the pressure. Hands moved over their robes, and Remus gasped when his boyfriend slipped a hand under the hem of his jersey, pushing it up. Moving his kisses from Remus' lips to the spot just under his jawbone, Sirius could hear the other boy give a soft, very un-Remus-like growl, and he smiled and whispered, "Is that the wolf coming out in you?"
Remus sucked in his breath as Sirius' hand travelled up his chest. He grabbed a handful of Sirius' robes, pulling him closer, and gave a low moan as the other boy continued his assault on the pale skin on his neck. "Don't leave a mark," he gasped.
"Bit late for that," came the pleased sounding reply.
They don't remember exactly how long they stood in the passageway, but the next thing they know a light was coming closer and James' voice was calling their names. They pulled apart, combing fingers through their messy hair and straightening their clothes. They needn't have bothered, as the nonplussed look on James' face told them he knew exactly what they'd been doing.
"Don't give me details, I don't care," he told them with a wave of his hand. "All I know is the map isn't in the common room, nor is it in the other half of this passage."
"We had no luck either… Where's Peter?" Sirius asked with a frown.
"I'm coming!" came a voice from further back down the tunnel.
"He's carrying the food," James offered as an explanation.
The walk back to the common one was a sombre one. All four boys had now come to accept the fact that they would probably never see their map again. Remus was still a little shaky at the knees after the events in the tunnel, and kept putting a hand to his neck in an attempt to cover the mark Sirius had left. As they reached the portrait hole, however, someone was standing outside it. James choked and tripped up the last stair, falling less than gracefully at the feet of Lily Evans.
"Morning Remus, Peter," she said with a smile, and then, with a rather frosty look, "James. Sirius."
"H-Hi, Lily," James regained his composure with a sharp jab in the ribs from Sirius. "How are you this morning?"
"I'm fine thank you. But I haven't been waiting outside the portrait hole for half an hour to tell you that."
James swallowed nervously, and didn't say anything else.
"I actually have something to give you." And with a flourish she produced, from behind her back, none other than the Marauder's Map.
"You left it on the field yesterday, Sirius. It fell out of your back pocket, and I picked it up. Of course, I figured you wouldn't carry around a piece of blank parchment if it wasn't important-"
And all four boys drew a sigh of relief that she hadn't uncovered the Map's secret.
"-and I had a feeling you would be dying to have it back."
"Hang on," started James, "You were in the common room the whole time me and Peter were searching for it! You waited till now to tell us this!"
"Well if you're going to be like that…" Lily replied, and looked as though she was about to turn away, but Remus stopped her.
"Lily, we can't thank you enough for picking it up. You're right, we've been searching for it everywhere."
Lily gave him a sincere smile, and handed him the map. Sirius fell on it immediately, but Remus held it out of his reach. "I think I'll look after it for now, Pads."
Lily turned to go, but then turned back and said, "Oh and by the way Remus, you have a huge red mark on the side of your neck… But I'm sure you've noticed already. If you need any spells to keep Sirius under control, let me know." And with a cheeky smile, she disappeared through the portrait hole.
Remus, bright red, put his hand up to his neck. Sirius was doubled over laughing, Peter was still stuffing his face, and James looked slightly confused.
"How would she know what spells to use? You don't think? No, her and Snivellous couldn't…"
But before James could start on another rant, Sirius gave the password and clapped him on the back, steering him through the portrait hole and into the common room, Remus and Peter following. They crossed the common room and climbed the stairs to their dorm. Pushing open the door, they surveyed the room, still with all Sirius' belongings added to the already strewn around contents of James and Peter's trunks. Remus signed and picked his way through the mess, and lay down on his own, perfectly tidy bed. Sirius took a running leap over the mess, and landed with a jolt beside him.
"I'd say it's been a pretty successful morning!" he announced with enthusiasm much too great for any normal person.
"How do you figure that?" James asked, still sounding slightly bitter after Lily's comment.
"Well," explained Sirius. "Peter got his food, James talked to Lily, and Rem and I did have quite a lot of fun in that passageway."
