Disclaimer: This fic means no harm to Tite Kubo, Viz, or any lawyers. I don't own Bleach, obviously but I wouldn't mind owning a non-fat peppermint mocha at the moment.

Warnings(apply to the whole fic): Mostly rated for language. Also has Kenpachi/Byakuya, drinking, and stressed out! Rukia.

Note: Kenpachi might seem OOC to you but I feel that a young Kenpachi would be slightly different than the one we are used accustomed to. In regards to their age, I can't pinpoint a human age (maybe 12/13ish?) but I know the boys are younger than Bya was during TBTP at least.


Chapter One: Call Off Your Plans Its The Inevitable Captain's Meeting!

"Don't know. They've never lived that long," Mayuri Kurotsuchi said simply.

"What!" The simultaneous exclamation of five persons echoed loudly against the walls of the first division's meeting hall. Normally such an outburst would have one banned from setting foot in the area again but given the circumstances it would be overlooked by the captain commander and his fellow captains.

"They were experimental and I wasn't testing longevity." Kurotsuchi said sneering at the little group of non-captains that were gathered in the room.

"What exactly were you testing?" Rukia Kuchiki said her eye twitching in the slightest. She was a nervous wreck and completely pissed off. How dare they tell her her brother was in an accident and then make her wait three hours before calling her to a captains meeting to explain it all.

"Rukia," Renji Abarai warned nudging his friend on her shoulder. He was as tense as Rukia but for the first time was better at keeping himself in check. He proudly decided that that fact was probably due to all the training he had received serving as Captain Kuchiki's vice-captain.

"I don't believe my experiments are any of your business." Kurotsuchi said rolling his eyes.

"But it is mine," Retsu Unohana said in a clipped tone, "if I am to care for the boys I'm going to need know the effects of the solution they were doused in."

"It's not like the world will be worse off without Zaraki," the scientist shrugged.

"I don't like the thought of having one less captain, Captain Kurotsuchi." The Captain Commander Yamamoto snapped.

"Well I don't know the effects. As I said before I've only ever used the solution on rats all of which have died after a few days."

"So the solution killed them!" Rukia said with clear panic in her voice.

"Actually, I think what he's saying is that he killed them during his experiments," Yumichika Ayasegawa said with distaste.

"Exactly, who would have thought a fifth seat from Zaraki's division would be more intelligent than the Kuchiki girl."

"Kurotsuchi, you will hand over all the data you have on the experiments conducted in which the solution in question was a part of to Captain Unohana," the Captain Commander said with an air of finality that even the captain of the Twelfth Division could not protest, "while we look into the matter Vice-Captain Abarai and Rukia Kuchiki, as I said before, will accompany…"

A crash and shout in the adjacent room stopped Yamamoto's speech short. "Guess they're awake," Captain Kyoraku commented unnecessarily. He, along with everyone else in room, turned toward the source of the noise as if expecting what would happen next.

"The hell is goin' on here!" a very tall and pale boy with scraggly dark hair and wild eyes exclaimed as he crashed into the room through the wall, "where the fuck am I?"

"Captain Zaraki!" Yumichika gasped. It was the first time any of the non-captains had gotten a look at the previously grown men's younger forms and even though they had been talking about it for the greater part of two hours it was still a shock to see it in reality.

"Calm down young man," Unohana said in her sweet but deadly motherly tone as she beckoned the miniature captain toward the center of the room, "no one here is going to hurt you. The Captain Commander," she gestured toward the commander, "simply wants to ask you a few questions."

"Captain Commander!" Another boy said as he stepped a thousand times more elegantly through the hole in the wall.

"Nii-sama!" Rukia gasped uncontrollably. Renji restrained her with a hand. If his captain didn't recall Rukia she would be in for a bloody and painful shock when he kido'd her against the wall for rushing towards him. Looking at his captain made his stomach churn and his lip tweak. The captain looked just as fierce as ever yet Renji had a strong urge to burst into laughter.

"Captain Unohana, Captain Ukitake, Captain Kyoraku! Is this a captain's meeting?" Byakuya, looking around the room and doing his best to ignore the girl who was crying for her brother or the gangly red-head who was restraining her, asked with a frown. Unohana nodded to him with a smile and gestured for him to keep quiet.

"What do you remember?" The captain commander asked when Kenpachi had come to stand in front of him.

"Huh?" Kenpachi's face contorted in a way that would have been comical in any other circumstance.

The young Byakuya who had turned to watch the exchange narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He didn't recognize the other boy who had so rudely interrupted a captain's meeting. He didn't know a thing about him but he had promptly felt a strong dislike for the other kid. The boy had awoke from unconsciousness with noises Byakuya assumed could only come from a beast and eyes as wild as an animal's who was running away from a hunter. Worst of all, when Byakuya had stated his name the boy seemed to have no opinion on the matter. He was completely irritating; he was uncouth, foul-mouthed, had no sense of self control…Byakuya suddenly smirked to himself. His grandfather would be proud. He was certainly a Kuchiki. Maybe he hadn't yet mastered the coolness he should have but he knew what it looked like and knew how to rip someone to shreds for not behaving in a proper manner.

"Can you tell me your name?" Yamamoto prompted Kenpachi.

"I…," Kenpachi's eyes darted back and forth suspiciously to the unfamiliar group of people in the room everyone was so still and they were all looking at him. He couldn't remember doing anything against the law, at least any law worth enforcing, and if these people were part of some sort of gang that wanted to recruit him they were certainly going about it in a strange way. Violence, that's how you recruited someone at least in Kenpachi's world that's how it worked yet he had a strange feeling he wasn't in his world any longer. Kenpachi felt a shiver go down his spine. He hesitantly replied, "I…I don't have a name…" he visibly fidgeted wondering if that admission would make him seem weak. To not have a name implied you had no family and most likely no friends. These people seemed strong and well-fed and they probably all had names. He scrounged up whatever strength he had and to show that he was no push over added, "and who the hell are you?"

"Fool!" Byakuya, irritated by the other boy's speech and question, exclaimed. He strode to stand between the nameless boy and the commander. "From what gutter did you crawl out of? This is Captain Commander Genryūsai Yamamoto the leader of the Gotei 13 and the strongest person in all of the Soul Society." Byakuya turned from the boy and bowed deeply to Yamamoto. "Commander, I apologize for the intrusion. I awoke to this, to this, hollering about something or other and the next thing I knew it had broken through the wall and into here."

"How dare you speak about Captain Zaraki that way!" Ikkaku Madarame said rushing forward through the line of Captains in front of him and toward the two young men standing in front of Yamamoto.

"Don't touch me!" Captain Soifon scolded when Ikkaku's hand brushed against her shoulder.

"Ikkaku!"

"Madarame, do not approach Captain Kuchiki in such a way!" Yamamoto scolded stopping the bald third seat in his tracks.

"Captain Kuchiki? Is my…" Byakuya raised his head from his bow and looked at the commander questioningly.

Yamamoto sighed, "Captain Unohana would you please take the boys into the forth division and explain to them what has happened. After you've determined them to be physically healthy please release them into the respective custodies of Abarai and Kuchiki and Madarame and Ayasegawa. Tomorrow I will meet with their custodians and discuss further arrangements. I also expect you, Kurotsuchi, to have gathered your data and be ready to present it to Captain Unohana first thing in the morning. For the time being no one other than those in the room presently are to know of this incident."

"Of course," Unohana replied gently.

"Where am I?" Kenpachi demanded of no one in particular. He had planned to keep quiet but these people were fucking crazy and he didn't know if he could handle being in the same room with them for much longer. If they were a gang they were amateurs and completely unprofessional. They didn't get along with each other and didn't seem to agree on anything.

"Ken-chan, Ken-chan, you remember me right?" The pink-haired Yachiru said suddenly jumping up in front of Kenpachi's face.

"Huh?" Kenpachi backed up startled by the sudden near contact, "N-no,"

"Don't worry Kenpachi-san I'll explain everything back at…" Unohana began.

"I said I wanna know where I am ya stupid Bitch!" He instinctively reached for the katana he kept at his side but it wasn't there. They had taken it. Apparently someone in their group had a brain. His panic however was stopped before beginning by the collective gasp that sounded throughout the room. He wondered if his actions had been that abnormal.

"He's completely insane!" Byakuya said, backing up as far away from the other boy as possible.

Kenpachi twitched. He really didn't like the snooty little brat he had occupied a room with a short while ago and he didn't think anyone would blame him. The first words he had heard come out of that pretty mouth had been, 'whoever locked me up is going to have hell to pay. They obviously didn't realize who I am. I'm Byakuya Kuchiki, the heir to the Kuchiki clan.' He had never before heard anyone talk with such superiority and it irked him that a mere kid would speak his own name in such a way. He looked over at Kuchiki with a sneer; stupid feminine looking brat. If he had his katana with him…he looked down at his hands and flashed the grin he was famous throughout the Rukongai for. The kid might have talked big but he was no fighter- that much was obvious. He could easily take him katana or not.

"He doesn't know any better," Unohana, stepping between Byakuya and Kenpachi as if somehow sensing what was about to occur, said in a pleasant tone. She addressed Kenpachi, "I'm sorry young man of course you want to know where you are. You are in the Seireitei,"

"Where the Shinigami live?" Kenpachi said; he glanced around the room once more his thoughts of killing the Kuchiki kid immediately fleeing his mind.

"Yes, I'm the captain of the healing division and these are captains and other members of the Gotei. I can explain everything to you more clearly and explain why you are here if you just come with me to my division." Unohana then smiled one of her commanding smiles that no one, even an unknowing and untrusting Rukongai kid, could argue with. Kenpachi nodded though it was obvious he was still hesitant. "Byakuya-san come with me as well. You five," she said to the non-captains in the room, "please wait in the waiting room for me when you are dismissed."

The five nodded and Unohana led the way for the two recently de-aged captains.

…..

Just a minute after waiting in the waiting room Rukia and Renji had broken into an argument. "I don't care! He's my brother!"

"And he's my captain!" If she hadn't been his best friend Renji would have strangled her. He understood that she was upset about her brother's condition but he didn't think that gave her a reason to be a bitch to him.

"The captain commander has entrusted his care to the both of us not just you, Vice-Captain" Rukia growled.

"I didn't say anything about that! Fuck Rukia, all I said was that I'm gunna help him get ready for bed and talk to him about what's been happening lately."

"And why should you do that? Are you saying I'm not qualified…"

"I believe," Yumichika interrupted with a sigh. He swore if he had to deal with their bickering for much longer he would scream, use his true shikai, and give Unohana two more patients. "Abarai is simply saying that because he is a man he might be able to bond with Captain Kuchiki a little better and faster than you, Rukia-dear. Captain Kuchiki is a teen and is unlikely to be able to handle himself with strange young women."

"I'm not a strange woman! I'm his sister!" Rukia hissed.

"But he doesn't know you as such at the moment, does he?" Yumichika raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever," Rukia crossed her arms and plopped down onto a chair.

"You're not really mad," Renji said, glad that Yumichika could get through to her, "you're tired and stressed. We all are. It's freakin' 2 in the morning and we were pulled out of our afternoons to be told that our captains had been in an accident."

"Yeah and I'm kinda hungry now that you mention it," Ikkaku sighed from behind the gossip magazine he had been flipping through.

"Ken-chan, doesn't remember me," Yachiru, speaking for the first time since the captain's meeting, said quietly.

"Oh, Yachiru-chan," Yumichika pulled his vice-captain into his lap. He placed the young girl's head under his chin and tried to cuddle some comfort to her.

Half an hour or so later Unohana appeared in the waiting room with a young Byakuya Kuchiki in tow. "Nii-sama," Rukia said with a sigh of relief.

"You see," Unohana said kindly, "this is Rukia-san the adopted sister I told you about, and that red-headed man next to her is Renji Abarai your vice-captain."

"Nice to meet you both," Byakuya approached the two of them and bowed, "though I suppose we have met before."

"Nii-sama. I'm so glad you're alright." Rukia said in earnest and clearing struggling to keep herself from embracing him in a hug.

"Of course he is. He's the captain!" Renji said smugly.

Unohana smiled, "Please, take him to the Kuchiki manor and get some rest. The servants can be trusted to keep their tongues in their mouths. It's been a terribly long day for both you and him."

"Thank you, Captain Unohana," Rukia, Renji, and Byakuya said at the same time.

Yumichika and Ikkaku exchanged a glance and grumbled to themselves. Of course Captain Kuchiki would be the first out. He was a Kuchiki after all.

"Good luck, guys." Renji said as he and the Kuchiki's left the waiting room.

Once they were gone Ikkaku threw himself to the ground and stretched out on the cold floor.

"Oh please, you think you're tired. I was up at dawn yesterday to do paperwork. I'm so missing out on my beauty sleep." Yumichika flipped his hair in distress.

"Ah, shut up, you're beautiful enough for fuck's sake."

"Why thank you, Ikkaku," Yumichika giggled.

Meanwhile Kenpachi was staring at the wall. He had just finished the most wonderful meal in his entire life. He had been hesitant to accept it but the woman's smile was so kind and his gnawing hunger so vicious that he couldn't really refuse. Even if it had been poisoned he wouldn't have minded all that much. Eating the best meal he'd ever known was certainly the way to go if he was going to go although he supposed people in the Seireitei, if that's where he really was, ate that way all the time. Luckily, that irritating feminine boy had been placed in a separate room and the smiling woman had gone to speak with him while Kenpachi ate so he had had a fairly good amount of time to himself to eat and think about what he would say to the woman when she finally came to speak with him.

"Did you find the meal satisfying?" Unohana said peeking through the door of Kenpachi's room.

"Yes," Kenpachi replied partially relieved and partially terrified that she was back.

"Good," she smiled and came into the room completely. She laid a think folder of papers down on the desk and approached Kenpachi non-threateningly.

"I got questions," Kenpachi said. He figured if he spoke first he would be able to keep some authority though he doubted that anyone really had authority of the woman. She seemed to be the one that ran things.

"Alright,"

"First, where is my katana? Second, is this really the Seireitei, and if it is what am I doin' here? And third, wha' does Kenpachi mean and why ya callin' me it?" Kenpachi said.

Unohana sighed. She wanted to pinch her nose in frustration but she restrained herself from doing so. Byakuya had been rather easy to explain things to- he already knew who he was and being told that he was the captain of the sixth division was no surprise to him after he accepted the fact that he was indeed older but had been reverted to a younger age but Kenpachi. Poor Kenpachi didn't even know his name. "I promise to answer your questions young man but first I need to know what the last thing you remember happening before you awoke in the first division."

"Um," Kenpachi thought, he didn't really remember anything specific. It wasn't like he did much he just lived day to day as best he could. Most of his days consisted of beating people up, scrounging around for food when he could, and escaping from gangs that were filled with weaklings who preferred to fight in groups instead of one-on-one. "Well, I was in Zaraki I guess. Musta been night time so I musta been sleepin' and then when I woke up I was here."

"What were you doing in Zaraki?" Unohana pressed.

"I dunno. I live there. You gunna answer my questions now?"

Unohana nodded; this was going to take a while.

Two hours later a slightly less or possibly more confused Kenpachi Zaraki made his way into the waiting room although at this point his second, third, and fifth seat were fast asleep on the floor of the fourth division's waiting room.

TBC…