This all belongs to the BBC, I just play. No money is made. Believe me. My pocket book can attest to this.

Authors Notes: This series is now done. I shall upload this one today and the next on Friday. Please look for 20 questions when I finally dust it off and throw it up here. Feedback is always appreciated and makes the author work faster than having a whip applied to her back. :)

To the Doctor, the hallway had not changed at all. To him, a month
had passed since he had left the children and Tegan, but it had
barely been 24 hours to them. He was relieved to see that Mr.
Johnson had indeed taken Tegan's garbage to the curb for her. She
was still not good on the stairs with her legs. He knocked lightly
on the door as it was after the children's bedtime. Although the key
to the door was in his possession, he didn't want to surprise Tegan
too much by suddenly appearing in her kitchen at 10 pm.

His knock was met with silence for a long time. When the door failed
to open, he fished in his pocket for the key and opened the door
slowly. The apartment was dark except for the gentle twinkling of
the Christmas tree lights. He could sense the gentle breathing of
the two children in the first bedroom and opened the door slowly to
glance within at Amy and Michael.

Michael slept in his child's bed, on his stomach. His arm was thrown
over Bear protectively and the Doctor could hear the stuffiness of
his nose as he breathed through it. His gaze traveled to Amy. The
girl slept on her side, curled around her new large stuffed dog he
had bought her. He smiled as he recalled the heated discussion he
had had with Tegan while shopping for Christmas presents. Amy had
wanted a dog, a real dog, a pet, and Tegan could not have animals in
the apartment. He wanted to attempt getting a dog, but Tegan
rationalized that if the landlord found the animal, there would be
much crying when they were made to get rid of the dog.

So he had given Amy the stuffed dog with the promise that someday,
when the family had moved to a house, she would have her own dog. Of
course, that had made Tegan comment that he was spoiling the
children.

The argument had ended when he agreed that he was indeed rewarding
the children for exemplary behavior over the course of the last half
year. She had muttered, but since the conversation occurred when he
was assisting her with walking, she couldn't go far.

Still, the stuffed dog had black fur and it mingled with her own
black curls. He gave them a watchful oversee and then smiled,
shutting the door quietly.

With a sigh, he shrugged off his frock coat and laid it over the
large chair in the living room. Then he moved to the other bedroom
door, opening it slowly. Tegan was fast asleep on the bed. She was
on her back, her hands near her head. Her legs were slightly
elevated as she was supposed to do, but not enough. Apparently one
had slipped off of the pillow and where it wasn't uncomfortable for
her now, in the morning, her muscles would feel the pain.

"Tegan?" he asked, softly. When she didn't respond, he sighed and
closed his eyes attempting to reach her mind. She was peacefully
dreaming of the Eye of Orion of all places and he let her
subconscious know that he was with her. The prodding brought her to
the edge of sleep and as he sat on the edge of the bed she awoke.

Her screech was cut off as he said her name again. "Oh, it's you,"
she breathed in relief. He gave her a wide smile that she could
barely see in the dark.

"Of course it's me," he said haughtily. "Your leg has shifted,
Tegan. Lie back," he instructed and adjusted her leg higher on the
pillow.

She frowned. "I thought you weren't due back until at least
tomorrow," she stated. With a sigh as he finished rearranging her
legs, she joked. "Adjust my legs anymore, Doc, and I'll feel like
I'm in childbirth."

"Yes, well," he cleared his throat. "Quite. I suppose the position,
at least when the woman is reclined, is the same." He adjusted his
seat on the bed's edge and finished rearranging her.

With a quiet giggle, she sighed. "You're a mother hen, Doc." She
ruined his rearrangement by shifting her legs and sitting up. "I'm
fine."

"You'll be in pain tomorrow morning," he grumbled.

Tegan rolled her eyes, although she knew that it was lost in the
dark. "Yes, well, it is rather hard to welcome you back with even a
handshake when I'm in that godforsaken position. How long have you
been gone?"

"Approximately a month, I suppose," he answered. He reached out and
steadied her as she came completely upright.

"I've barely had time to miss you being here," she
explained. "You've been gone less than a day."

"Well, I thought back sooner than later was better," he replied. "If
I am going to permanently ingratiate myself into this life, the
sooner I do it, the better. It isn't a problem, is it?"

"No," she said simply. She tried to get off the bed and he stopped
her, looking confused.

"Tegan?"

"I'm too tired to discuss too much tonight, Doc. It was hard keeping
up with both of them today. I'll get you something to curl up with
if you want" she stopped talking as he shook his head.

"No" he replied. He led her to lie down again and arranged her
legs. "Get some rest, Tegan. We'll figure things out in the
morning."

**

Somewhere, Tegan supposed she should have a calendar to mark off and
name the days of her life. She had named the first three days the
Doctor had stayed with her: the Honeymoon period. She had put
Michael down in the bedroom that evening while the Doctor helped Amy
draw a zoo. She hated to break into idyllic interlude he was
having. She truly enjoyed watching him with Amy and her daughter was
beside herself with joy, but there was information to give him.

"Well, I suppose the problems will start in the next couple of days,"
Tegan said glumly.

"Problems?" he asked.

"New Years Eve," she stated as if the answer should be clear to him.

"Yes, Tegan," he sighed, the tone of which made Amy giggle. She
walked around the table and climbed on to his lap with her sketch
pad. It wasn't her sketch pad entirely. It had, at one time, been
Tegan's. But since she had shown a love of doodling, Tegan had dug
her old art supplies out of the closet and given them to Amy. "It's
an evening which signifies the end of the old year and the beginning
of the new. Rather festive. Yes, Amy?"

"I need your hand, Doctor," the girl answered plainly.

He obliged, holding out his hand so the girl could trace it. "What
exactly is the problem?"

"Momma's having friends over," Amy answered, helping out her mother.
Tegan responded with a curt nod. "That's right, my girl. I have
friends over every year"

"Aunt Jenna and Aunt Mary" Amy supplied, looking over her shoulder
at the Doctor.

"And Aunt Jenna's boyfriend" Tegan laughed as her daughter scrunched
up her nose.

"Boys" she supplied.

The Doctor nodded, apparently happy with Amy's derision with boys.
Tegan continued, looking up from her magazine. The telly was quietly
touting end of the year sales and Michael was sound asleep in his
room. "And the arrangements are all right, I suppose. Usually Mary
and I share the couch sleeper and Jenna and her boyfriend take my
bed. But"

Amy glanced up at the Doctor. "Do you want to sleep on the floor in
my room?"

The Doctor lifted an eyebrow and cast a glance over at Tegan. He
gave her a small nod and pursed his lips. "I'll have to discuss that
with your mother, Amy," he responded.

She turned her attention to Tegan and frowned. "But Momma, he's
slept in the chair in my room before."

Tegan sighed and gently closed the magazine. She had made the
decision before the Doctor had left previously not to tell the
children that he was going to stay with them. She didn't want to
tell them until the both of them were absolutely sure that he would
and could stay. When she told them, she had explained to the Doctor,
it signified permanence. "Yes, well"

"I might wish to stay with your mother," the Doctor muttered, meeting
Tegan's eyes. "She still does need help with her legs."

Amy mouthed an 'oh' and got down off of his lap to troop back over to
the television. Tegan watched her go with amusement. "Now, do you
understand what I said about problems?"

He agreed slowly. "I do quite see what you mean." With a sigh, he
turned. "And I think it's time for bed for Amy."

She nodded, watched as the Doctor rounded up Amy and her stuffed dog,
accepted her good night kiss from her daughter and waved goodbye to
her daughter as the Doctor packed her into her bedroom.

**

She hobbled back into the sitting room just as he was shutting the
door to the bedroom. One mug of cocoa waited for him in its usual
spot on the table next to the couch and the window. She was holding
her own. The smile she gave him showed that she was both excited and
proud that she was again moving about her own house under her own
power; slowly, but she was moving.

"Ah," he thanked her with a nod. "I gather we are having a summit."

"Of sorts," she agreed. "But not really. It only depends on a
simple answer to a simple question that we both have to answer
honestly."

He lifted an eyebrow and sat back against the spine of the chair with
his legs stretched out in front of him. "And this question?" he
asked, reaching for his mug.

"How do we want to be viewed by others? Right now, that is. I'm
quite happy with it as it is"

"Appearances," he muttered. "Have always been a bother."

"I agree," she nodded. "And for the time being, I would rather not
have to deal with it, but"

"Yes, I do see the point." He took a sip of his hot cocoa and sucked
his lip as the liquid burned it. "What would you prefer?"

"Ah, my lad," she shook her finger at him. He glanced at her,
surprised. Her face was relaxed, but he knew it betrayed a distinct
uneasiness in her demeanor. Her eyes met his for a few seconds and
then she glanced down at her own cocoa. "No. You have to make your
own decision on this and I'll make mine and we'll find a nice, merry
middle ground."

"With a bit of argument."

"That's the fun," she offered. With a frown, she set down her mug
and contemplated the television that was still on. "Frankly"

"As if you could be anything else," he joked.

"I don't mind being unconventional about this until you figure out if
you will stay."

"I've already made up my mind, Tegan," he huffed. "I told you that
three weeks agowell, three weeks by this time line. And what do you
mean, unconventional"

"It's not often that a man and woman live together as friends to
raise children, Docwhere the man isn't the woman's brother. To put
you on forms legally, I have to state that you are kin, or have
adopted them. I mean"

"You mean that you think that we will have to present to the world as
awell, as a.couple, eventually," he said. He hoped he kept his
uneasiness at the topic of conversation under control.

She gave a nod. "That was why I was rather hesitant about this,
Doc." She stopped her discourse with that and he lifted an eyebrow.
He was still rather confused as to why she was hesitant. They had
become rather comfortable with each other; their verbal sparring
taking on a friendlier, heated tone than it had before.

"And you think what about this New Year's Eve?" he asked, sipping the
cocoa again. "And I'm not completely oblivious to the fact that we
are discussing the sleeping arrangements."

"Well, we should share something, Doc. You don't sleep. If you are
in with the children, you'll be bored in the dark or keep them up."

"So you think we should" he motioned with his hand. "Appear to be
well" he swallowed.

"Active?" She offered, glancing up at him with a small smile. "Not
necessarily. Let's sayfamiliar. No, DocI'm not saying we should
but if we share a room or whatnot, you can stay up and I can sleep
and no one will know different."

He nodded slowly. "It makes sense, Tegan."

"Are you all right with it?" she asked quietly.

He gave her a small grin tinged with uncertainty. "Yes."

**

Mike bounced up and down on the Doctor's lap and proudly held out
Bear. Tegan had dressed Bear in a bow tie. And she had sewn on a
new nose. "He can find honey," Michael exclaimed. "Momma said she
did jerjury on him."

"Surgery," the Doctor said quietly, nodding. "And yes, she did."

John Martin, 'Aunt' Jenna's boyfriend, smiled wanly at the exchange
between the Time Lord and the boy. The Doctor returned it with a
small amount of hesitancy. John nodded, closed mouthed and rubbed
his thighs. They looked in opposite directions until another round
of loud giggles erupted from the bed room and made both males
jump. John laughed as Michael bounced across the room and into
Tegan's bedroom where the females had congregated.

"I suppose he's the only one that can handle that," John said good-
naturedly. "Have you known Tegan long?"

"On and off for almost 12 years," the Doctor replied with a small,
company's-expected smile.

"And you like children," John nodded to the bedroom where Michael had
disappeared.

"I like hers," the Doctor supplied helpfully. "I haven't had much
other experience with young children." Suddenly he remembered what
Tegan had told him before guests arrived. He rose and nodded toward
the kitchen. "A drink? We can't sit about out here all night and
wait for them to re-emerge from the bedroom."

"I'd love one," John smiled and rose to walk toward kitchen. "You
haven't been here before on New Year's have you? They won't be in
the bedroom very long. And they'll come back out with their memory
books from Air Hostess School. Then, the drinks will really be
needed, old boy."

The Doctor lifted his eyebrows and continued to pour the vodka and
cranberry over ice. "I gather"

"They love to reminisce," John accepted the drink with a nod. "They
were known as the terrible three or some such nonsense while going
through the school. And Jenna hasn't changed all that much."

"You're a pilot," the Doctor responded, taking up his own drink. He
gave the drink a glance as John began to down his and didn't sip at
his.

"With British Airways, yes," the other man agreed. "And you?"

"Ah, well" the Doctor began to answer and frowned. "I'm with the
military. Special operatives."

It was John's turn to look impressed. "I say, that's a bit James
Bond, isn't it?"

With a grin, the Doctor opened his mouth to respond. Jenna
interrupted the conversation, however. "Doctor? I still feel
strange calling you thatyou're needed in the bedroom."

John nearly spit out his drink and the Doctor's face drained of
color. "Is Tegan?"

"Fine. She's too tired to walk, I think," Jenna responded. "Nothing
amiss, really. She's still rather weak, isn't she?" Her blue eyes
coolly assessed the Time Lord. "She is all right, isn't she? I had
heard about the accident but was in America at the time. I mean, the
weakness isn't permanent, is it?"

The Doctor handed his drink to John and walked past Jenna. "The
weakness? No, no, no; it will pass. She's just overdone it is
all." He walked through the living room and met Mary and Amy at the
door to Tegan's bedroom. Amy carried two large memory books and Mary
held two drinks in her hands. He gave them both a smile and then
glanced around the door to Tegan. She sat on the edge of the bed
with a profound frown. "Oh, come on, Tegan. It can't be all that
bad," he joked.

"Sorry, Doc," she muttered. "I didn't plan to still be dependent you
know."

Mary gave a hoot of a laugh. "Oh, just let him carry you, Tegan."

"I'll never hear the end of it from you," Tegan laughed in return.

"Once, you would have loved to have a man carry you, Tegan. I
remember that time at the end of the First Aid module" Mary began,
but stopped as Tegan's hand came up to stop her.

"No, for pity's sake, not the Tegan-had-a-little-too-much and got-
carried-home-by-the-teacher story," Tegan begged. "Please. Leave me
a little dignity around the children."

The Doctor lifted an eyebrow with a half-smile. "Oh, but" he
insisted as he bent to pick her up. "I think dignity has little to
do with the story, am I right?"

She frowned, but it slowly turned into a smile as he hefted her up
and into his arms. "Very little. But Lord, don't tell Amy and
Michael when they're older."

**

"I feel terrible making Jenna and John take the couch sleeper," Tegan
commented.

"They insisted, if I remember correctly."

"Still, I hate giving guests the couch," she insisted.

"They had imbibed a little too much to get anywhere, Tegan. They
were asleep when we came in here and Mary has absolutely no problem
sleeping with Amy and Michael," he pointed out logically. "And you
were the one to point out that we should share sleeping
accommodations this evening. What's left of itthat is."

She nodded. "Are you still okay with it, Doc?"

He gave a hefted sigh and a terse nod but there was a little coloring
about his cheeks. "You always sleep decently dressed. Yes."

Tegan gave him a teasing smile and shook her head. "I would have
thought Amy and Michael running about starkers after their baths
would have broken you of embarrassment about nudity."

"Yes, well" he cleared his throat. "Their nudity is rather
innocent" he let his words drift off.

The Doctor sat on the bed and watched Tegan as she folded her duvet
down and then the sheets. She leaned heavily on the trunk at the
foot of the bed and he resisted getting up to help her. She had made
it clear that she wanted to do as much as she possibly could. He
yawned and she stopped in her tracks to stare at him,
bemused. "Cripes, are you tired as well?"

"It's been a month since I slept last, Tegan. I don't have to sleep
tonight either."

"You're tired," she smiled. "I don't believe it. I thought I would
never see that."

He frowned and changed the topic of conversation. Leaning back
against the wall, he folded his arms behind his head and stretched
out his legs. "So the night before you stumbled into the TARDIS, you
had been out all night with Jenna and Mary?"

"And was still rather pissed, yes," she grudgingly admitted. She
sank happily down on the bed with a sigh and glanced at the clock.
It was two am. "Happy New Year, Docis it going to be a good one?"

He choked back a laugh. "Tegan, you know better than to ask that."

She gave him a wider smile. "Well?"

"Better than some, worse than others," he commented, meeting her gaze
dead on. "And that smile won't get any more information out of me,
young lady. To answer the question that you're dancing around: Yes,
the alcohol has made me tired."

Tegan eased her body under the covers and gave him a weary
glance. "Then sleep, Doc. It's the not the first time we've shared
sleeping accommodations."

"No, no it isn't," he agreed.

She yawned and nodded. Before they could talk much more, she drifted
off to sleep and the Doctor reached over to shut off the light,
allowing darkness to cover the room.

He lay flat on his back and Tegan kindly, in his estimation, lay on
her side away from him. Outside, he could hear some late merry
makers setting off fireworks in the streets. In the next couple of
years, he thought, we'll have to get some for the children. He
rubbed his head on the pillow and listened to the steady, quiet
breathing of his friend. He realized that she needed to elevate her
leg, but hoped that one night would not adversely affect her.

Some time later that night, he awoke to feel something heavy on his
arm. Glancing over, he saw that Tegan had turned and was lying with
her head near his shoulder and her hand on his arm. Her expression
was troubled. He disengaged his arm from her grasp and stretched it
out over her head. The loss of his arm had the response he hoped
for: she came into his chest and her expression eased. He wondered
if it was the sound of his lesser heart that did the trick for her.
With a sigh he stretched and closed his eyes again and prayed he
wouldn't have an argument in the morning when she awoke on his chest.




**

The morning brought a groggy but happy Tegan awake. She yawned and
raised her head from his chest in surprise. He met her glance with a
chagrined look and cleared his throat. "Before you start, Tegan, you
willingly rolled to me last night."

She frowned and winced from the pain behind her eyes. "Oh my headI
can't have an argument with you," she stated plaintively. "But I am
sorry, Docyou must have been mortified." With another wince, she
rolled over and propped up on her arms. He stretched and glanced at
her. From the look on his face, Tegan was sure that he wanted to say
something. A glance to the clock made her realize it was only six
am. "Cripes, I hate when my internal clock makes me get no sleep
whatsoever. Is anybody else awake?"

"I haven't heard a peep from either room," he reassured. She nodded
and flopped down on the bed with a sigh. He met the action with a
wide smile. "Cheer up, Tegan. You'll sleep well tonight."

She gave a nod, but held her head. "Ouch. I wish alcohol and I
could make friends for once."

He turned on his side and lifted on his arm to glance down at her
with an earnest look. "Happy New Year."

She groaned an answer and gave him a sickly smile. "You too, Doc."

"Are you up to a small discussion?" he pressed. She tried to shake
her head, but his evident enthusiasm for his topic had infected his
face. His eyes shone, his lips quirked into a smile that broadened
as she nodded, and his hand was animatedly patting at his thigh.

"All right. More fool me, however. You'll probably be able to
convince me of anything when I'm like this."

His smile widened to a grin. "Oh it's nothing that momentous,
Tegan. Just two topics of conversation: one: your work situation
and two: the housing situation."

She grunted and opened her eyes to fix him with a stare. "Oh, only
work and money. Nothing momentous."

"Well, compared to the fate of the Universe, Tegan, you do have to
admit they are trivial."

"Whatever, Doc. But seeing as you are so keenwhat did you have in
mind?"

"You are to start back to your job in the next couple of weeks, yes?"
he asked. At her nod, he continued. "Amy is in school and Michael
has another year at least before he is in public school. He'll have
to go back into daycare."

"That was the plan I was working with prior to the accident, Doc."
With a sigh, she rolled toward him and rose on her elbow to match his
stance. "I have to bring in money and my extended medical leave is
up as of the middle of this month. I do have to go back to work."

"Wouldn't it make more financial sense," he pressed. "To keep
Michael home?"

As she rubbed her temple, she shrugged. "Yes, I suppose. But that
would mean that someone would have to stay with him." The reasoning
dawned and she lifted an eyebrow. "You want to stay home with
Michael? Doc that would work out wonderfully! Are you sure-"

He gave a nod, but patted the mattress to stop her from
continuing. "Yes, but I do have a counter theory. I've a question
to ask first, however. Before Tom died, did you plan on staying home
with the children?"

She frowned, knowing this conversation was leading somewhere
dangerous. "Doctor, that isn't relevant."

"Just answer the question," he rumbled.

"I had been home with Amy before Tom died and I was going to remain
home until Michael was in school. But plans change, Doc" she
sighed, exasperated. "I have to work."

"As I'm staying with you, Tegan," he replied with an intense look on
his face. "You may well be able to return to that plan. I can see
what my options are with UNIT; they didn't pay me before, but I'm to
understand that the Scientific Advisor position does pay well. They
already know my qualifications and abilities and I know that Alastair
has returned to the fold. I should be able to retake my position
with them and negotiate a fair pay."

"And if you don't stay?" Tegan responded her face contorted in a look
between happiness and dejection. "You – we," she corrected, "haven't
made that decision, Doc. Remember? We decided on a trial as to
whether we could do thiswhether you could stay"

"This is a variable in that equation," he stressed. "Do you really
think I could stay without keeping busy in some way? At least we'll
have another option, Tegan. I think it's a good situation to
explore."

She shook her head, but groaned with pain. "Trust you to do this on
a day when I'm quite unable to yell at you properly. I'll sayto
exploring the idea, Doc. But it remains that if you can't stay, I'll
be left without a way of bringing in money. Nowwhat did you want to
talk about with the housing situation?"

"You need more of it," he expressed with some humor.

"Tell me something I don't know," she returned.

He lowered his eyes to where his hand was on the sheets. "Have I
ever told you of my house in Kent?"

"No. But that is a hell of a commute to both London and UNIT," she
answered. "A house in Kent, really?"

He nodded with a breathless smile. "And a small bit of land.
There's plenty of room of both children to have their own rooms and
for you and I to have our own rooms" he began. So intent was he on
watching his hands on the sheets, that he missed Tegan's look of
resignation and passing sadness. "But you are right; it would be a
jaunt into the city. It remains that I do have it and we could use
it in the summer. Still," he breathed, finally glancing at her. "We
should look into a larger apartment or home here in London."

She gave him a tired glance. "Claustrophobic?"

"No, but you have commented that it was time Amy had her own room."

"She'll be eight in less than a month," Tegan agreed. "She'll be the
age where a younger brother cramps her style. But this is a
continuation of the talk of work, Doc. I can't afford a large place."

He lifted an eyebrow. "And if you could?"

"It's crossed my mind that that would be the next step. I had
considered moving into the living room and letting Amy have this room
as well. But Doc"

"Here's my proposal," he interrupted, clearly excited about his
idea. "We see what presents itself with my contact with UNIT. If I
can get my position then we see about a larger apartment."

"Why not just pop back and invest money?" she pressed with a small
frown.

"Oh, I have, Tegan, but not enough to last sixty years," he
responded. At her surprised look, he continued. "Well, I didn't
have the knowledge to know how much university is in fifteen years
and I didn't have the time to do so."

"You could have taken months to get back here, you know," Tegan
stated strongly.

"I thought you thought that was cheating," he joked. "I've invested
enough that we'll never need, but possibly want. Besides, how
unusual would it be for neither of us to work? Hmm? I thought you
wanted a normal life to Michael and Amy."

She gave him a slight nod with a small frown. "It's better that way,
anyway," she replied. She didn't add that it was better because he
probably wouldn't stay.

"Life is going to bore you," she nearly laughed.

"I'm not entirely here for me," he gave her a hurt look and slid to
his back, glancing over at her.

Too much alcohol, she thought. I've had way too much; I'm beginning
to think that he wants to stay here as much with me as he does the
children. He really doesn't have a clue what it means to be in a
family. "It doesn't matter who you're here for, Doc. You'll be
bored all the same."

"And I suppose you are enthralled all the time with life? Hmm?"

"Oh, hush," she responded with a smile to take the edge off of his
growing agitation. "All right. We shall try it."

They heard a giggle from the other bedroom and then the door banging
open. Two seconds later, the sound of two children jumping on Jenna
was heard. "It appears the cavalry has awoken," the Doctor
pronounced with a grin.

**

"I'm not quite sure that it's helping the situation, Amy," the Doctor
stated plainly. He leaned up against the wall next to the kitchen
door while Tegan appeared around the corner wiping her hands on a
towel.

"She's tenacious," Tegan commented, smiling wanly at her friend.

"Hmm, quite." The Doctor commented, giving Tegan a sideways glance.

"The party again?"

"Momma" Amy complained. She crossed her arms and tilted her head
back to fix her mother with a hostile stare. "You said yourself that
I'm able to invite who I want to my party"

"Excluding your brother is not a viable plan," the Doctor replied and
uncrossed his arms.

Tegan sighed and leaned slowly up against the door jam so that she
was perpendicular to the Doctor. "I told you that last week, Amy.
Your brother has to come to the party. I'm coming; the Doctor's
coming; your brother has to come. He'll be with us and not out with
your friends."

"But you said" Amy began and then huffed. "And Doctor said"

"The same thing," the Doctor replied, quietly. "Besides, I don't
think that an almost four year old will be able to skate. At least
not without help"

Amy switched her stare from her mother to the Doctor. "You aren't my
father. You can't tell me what to do."

Tegan saw the Doctor straighten a little with a hurt look on his
face. Before she could interrupt her daughter's tirade, the girl
continued: "You're not even married to Momma."

"That's enough," Tegan stated menacingly. "It's not too late to call
off your party all together, young lady. Your brother IS going to
your party with the Doctor and me. You ARE to obey the Doctor as you
would Grandma or Granddad. Now, go to your room. I'll come to you
in a few minutes."

Amy gave her mother a glare and huffed off to her room. Tegan waited
until the door slammed and counted to five before she glanced over at
the Doctor. "Welcome to preteen awakening, Doc. She'll be like that
until fifteen at least, if she's anything like me."

He blew out a breath and turned to her. She didn't meet his eyes and
walked back into the kitchen to the stove. "For a moment, I thought
she was going to give me whatfor like you did in 1666," he joked
weakly.

Tegan frowned and turned off the stove with a flick of her wrist.
She stirred the sauce pot twice before she put down her spoon. "I'm
sorry, Doc, for what she said"

"She was just looking for a logical argument," he replied
saucily. "And that was a logical argument in her mind."

With a sigh, Tegan turned to gather the pasta for the pot. "I never
thought she was would say that, though. She really does love you."

"And I suppose," he responded, leaning up against the counter next to
her. "That she is hurt that I haven't 'married' you."

Tegan shook her head. "She's never mentioned that to me. I've never
mentioned that to her, Doc. As far as I'm concerned, she's just
realized that there is a difference between her and her friends in
that way."

"Does that difference bother her that much?"

Tegan shrugged and he frowned at her supposed lack of
enthusiasm. "Tegan?" he pressed.

He gave a tight-mouthed frown when he saw the look in her eyes when
she turned to face him. She met his glance for a long time as if she
was looking for something in his face, in his eyes. "No. It doesn't
bother her that much, Doc. She's just trying to get her own way. I
don't even know why she is talking about marriage. I don't think she
understands what that is"

He lowered his gaze and head as she walked passed him to gather the
plates. Tegan studiously kept her attention on her task. "Truly,
Doc."

"This is part and parcel what you told me about appearances, isn't
it, Tegan."

The words were said with a twinge in the voice. She didn't dare turn
around to face him and continued to get down the settings from the
cupboard. "Doc"

"It would present a very different view to the world if I were to
propose a union with you than if I were simply to live with you under
the same roof. It would present a completely different situation to
your children. Both legally and-"

"Doc-"

"No, Tegan, hear me out," he stated strongly. She chanced a look at
her friend to see him intensely staring at her. His hands were
firmly grasping the counter, bracing his weight off of them with
tight muscles, his lower lip was held firmly between his teeth, his
eyes were hooded and his hair had recklessly fallen across his
brow. "If we were to marry, it would help everything."

"It would do us no good to marry," Tegan responded, turning to rest
her back against the counter on her side of the kitchen. "Yes, you
would be their step-father. But I don't think I could handle a Time
Lord jaunting about the Universe as my spouse; you'd hardly be here."

"You still plan on me not being around, Tegan," he argued, leaning
forward. "It is the exact opposite of what I plan."

"Marriage isn't simply a merging of families and fortunes, you know,"
she shot back, her accent growing stronger. "It's more than"

"It's more than living together. It's a sharing of responsibilities,
possessions" he nodded his head, his visage getting more
earnest. "It's rather like the TARDIS, I suppose."

"It's so far removed from the arrangement on the TARDIS, Docthat I
don't think you'd recognize it. I don't know what you Gallifreyans
do, but I can guarantee it's nothing like that."

"We were rather able to live together relatively happy on the TARDIS."

Tegan shook her head viciously. "No, you don't understand."

"Then make me understand," he urged, crossing his arms over his
chest. "Explain it to me."

She moaned and he swore he could see tears in her eyes. "Doctor
marriage isn't just for the legal and financial or any such
nonsense. I would rather just remain as we are and deal with the
circumstances rather than live without" she stopped, sensing her
agitation was sending her over the edge in the argument. "I mean"

"Conjugal relations," he muttered nearly under his breath.

"It's not just sex," she rocketed back harshly. "And I wouldn't
suggest that that would have to be part of the marriage either. But
you would have to understand if I get extremely moody" Her shoulders
heaved in a sigh. "If you really want to know"

"Would I have asked if I didn't?"

Her anger made her meet his gaze head-on. "This isn't going to work.
I knew it wasn't going to work."

"Why won't it? Hmm? I'm quite content to stay with you. I'm quite
content to help you raise your children. I've grounded the TARDIS.
I'm in the process of getting a position to help with the finances.
The one who seems to want this not to work is you."

"I can't live without love all my life, Doctor," she growled,
immediately angry at herself for voicing what she feared. She
continued nonetheless. "You love my children, Doctor. I've seen it
in your face. I know you do. I know you'll be a wonderful father to
them, but"

"I asked you before to describe love, Tegan," he pressed calmly,
gently. "And you did. We defined it. I have to have it defined,
Tegan. Gallifrey doesn't use, understand or even have a phrase for
love. But as you describe it" he blushed slightly and waved his
hand in the air as if to force the words from his throat. "It
appears I already do love you."

Tegan caught her breath and gave him a disbelieving look. "Doc
Doctor, there are far too many different types of love. What you
feel for me is not that that a man does for a woman he wants for his
wife."

"Back to that, are we?" he joked. "Tegan, you have sex on the brain."

"I'm human," she spat out. "I'm sorry. I happen to like sex. A
great deal. Frankly, I've missed it since Tom passed. And I know
that I could live with you for the rest of my life, but I'd probably
be urged to break my vows once or twice. And I, personally, don't
want to have to face up to that short coming in myself. Please.
Let's just let it go as this, please. As we are. It's better all
around"

"Is it, I wonder," he replied.

She nodded, sensing an end to their exchange. She turned to grab the
dishes. "Then you don't have to do more than you want; we can both
give to the children. We'll be quite happy. I'm quite content now.
Please, let's not discuss this any more. I've got to finish dinner
and talk with Amy"

"May I?" he asked.

With her back turned to him, she didn't see the sadness that entered
his gaze as he watched her. He lowered his eyes and then slowly
raised his sight back to her. There was a tenderness of
understanding that she wouldn't have seen before in his stance, in
his mannerism. When she turned, he schooled his expression into
neutrality. "I've gotten rather good at giving your children
comfort."

"I've noticed. You hold both of them rather freely," she
admitted. "All right. But she has to understand what she said was
wrong."

He nodded and walked to the door of the kitchen, glancing back at her
with fondness. "We'll be back momentarily for supper."

Tegan nodded and when he left, she heaved a sigh of relief.

**

Michael was saying something, but the sound was caught in the swell
around them. They were in a crowd of twelve seven and eight year old
girls and even the Doctor couldn't hear his own thoughts. The Doctor
glanced down at Michael and reached down to pick the boy up as they
passed Tegan and Jenna helping the children get their skates. With a
sigh, he gathered up the child and walked off to the chairs near the
rink.

"Rather hairy over there," he commented to Michael as he set the
child down on the ground.

"I want to skate," Michael complained loudly and tugged on the
Doctor's trouser leg. The Time Lord gave the child a thoughtful look
and hefted the lad to join him on the seat.

"I do as well, Michael, but let's wait until the girls get their
skates, shall we? Let your sister and her friends get out on the
rink and then we'll get our skates, all right?" The Doctor hoped it
was an offer the boy couldn't refuse. Out of all the enemies he had
faced in the Universe and all of the hopeless situations he had
endured, the prospect of joining a bunch of young girls as they took
to the rink was a bit worrisome to him.

Michael frowned and turned to sit down. The Doctor agreed with the
sentiment and rubbed gently at the boy's back. Tegan was helping the
girls get their skates on as she struggled with her own. He had
warned her to be very careful and stay on the outside of the rink or
the inside. She couldn't afford to fall with her newly healed
bones. He watched the proceedings as he comforted the distraught boy
beside him.

His eyes centered on Tegan as she tightly laced up her own skate boot
and she laughed at something one of the girls said. Jenna helped her
to rise and together they entered the rink at the head of the gaggle
of girls.

The Doctor didn't hear when Michael first tried to get his attention,
but felt the boy pull on his sleeve. When he glanced down at him,
Michael started talking again. "Daddy? Can we get our skates now?"

"Hmm?" the Doctor asked, scarcely believing his ears.

"Our skates, Daddy," Michael pressed again. "I want to skate too."

The Doctor knew he was gaping at the child. He felt himself agree
and allowed Michael to lead him by the hand back to the skate
rental. He barely felt his legs move. He was in shock; he knew it.
Michael had called him 'Daddy'; had called him his father. There was
warmth that threatened to overheat him and throw his balance to the
wind. As he gathered the two pairs of boots from the purveyor, he
made a decision.

**

He tapped Jenna on the shoulder and drew her off, hopefully not
alerting Tegan to the change. And then, with Michael gleefully under
Jenna's supervision, he skated into the middle of the rink and joined
Tegan. She was at the center of a whip and he caught her just as the
others released and sped off into the perimeter of the rink.

"Easy, Tegan," he admonished, stopping her from falling to the
ground. "You're letting your feet get away from you."

She laughed and glanced up at him. "Michael?"

"With Jenna. I thought I would join you for a minute or two," he
responded, smiling widely.

"I didn't know you knew how to skate."

"Well, I'm not very good at it, but will improve with time," he
called as he slipped his arm around her waist to keep her upright as
three girls in a chain rocketed by them. "And I know just how I
shall get the practice."

"You're going to bring the children here every weekend," she joked
quietly.

"No, actually, I had thought of something else," he smiled and
tightened his arm. Before she could say anything, he led her as one
would in pair ice skating. She glanced up at him with humor.

"I'll bite, then," she said.

"I'll take you to the Continent," he said, staring ahead as they
skated the length of the rink. "Careful of your leg on the turn,
Tegan."

"The Continent?" she asked, quietly. "You must be joking," she
pressed. "Doc, I just started back to work. And why, on Earth,
would you want to go there"

"Ice skating," he responded quickly. "And other cold weather sports."

"But why? And how would I get Amy out of school? And MichaelI
would have to get him a passport," she continued. "Doctor, you have
lost your sanity. Was it the girls?" she laughed.

He smiled as the lights dimmed. "No. I do believe it was your son
that tilted me over the edge of sanity, Tegan. And I'll be calling
your parents when we get home, after the party. If they can't watch
Amy and Michael, then I shall ask Jenna and or Mary if they can. I
would like to take you to Europe, alone."

She shook her head, laughing. "Doctor"

"We'll take the TARDIS. Same time era; we won't have a problem with
the coordinates. That way I can get you back the same weekend we
leave."

"No, we won't," she said, her voice harsh. "No."

"Well thenyou shall have to quit your job," he pushed. At her
reluctance and her trial to pull away from him, he continued: "I
start with UNIT in three weeks, Tegan. We could go then, and be back
before I start."

"I can't quit my job," she said, quietly as they passed Amy and one
of her friends. "Doc-"

"You don't like your job, Tegan. We could try and find you a better
one," he stressed. "And I think that you and I need to spend a
little time together, alone."

Tegan glanced up at her friend. His eyes were steadily staring in
front of them, his arm wrapped around her waist and his hand held her
elbow. She could feel his steady breath rising and falling in his
chest even as they moved quickly around the rink. "Why? I mean it
would be wonderful to have a new job, but"

"Michael called me Daddy," he stated quietly and tightened his hand
on her elbow.

She frowned and glanced back up at him and he was looking down at her
with gentle eyes. And for the first time since she had known him,
she knew that argument was out of the question.

**

The Doctor opened the door to the loft and let Tegan inside before
him. "Ivan was more than happy to let us have the flat for a
fortnight," he explained.

Tegan shrugged off her coat and laid it on the back of the chair in
the main room. She sighed and smiled. It was a beautiful small flat
in the mountains with panoramic views of snow, rocks and the small
town. It was a wonderful place to be for a snow interlude. "It is
beautiful," she responded. "Absolutely beautiful. Do I want to know
how you knew somebody who had the keys to this place? I'll want to
know why you never brought us here before now"

"Yes, well" he replied, following her into the room and slipping his
hands into his pockets. "Ivan is the great-great-great grandson of
an old friend of mine. I did rather have to call in a few favors.
It wasn't something I had the presence of mind to do before now."

Tegan gave a half-hearted nod and walked into the kitchen. She
opened the refrigerator door and gave a gasp. "Doctorthere's enough
food in here to"

"Last a week, yes. Ivan's wife left the food here for us yesterday,"
he said quietly, leaning up against the doorjam. Tegan gave a sigh
and closed the door. Then she turned and retreated to the main
room.

"Well, go on" he urged as he saw that she was fighting the want to
run up the stairs. She gave him a cheeky smile and climbed the
steps. Halfway up the stairs, she stopped and looked down at him.

"And now that we're here, you told me you would tell me why we left
my children with my parents," she called and continued to walk up the
steps. As she entered the upper room, she heard his footfalls on the
steps. Before he could begin his explanation, she found the large
bed up against the far wall. The room itself was done in greens and
whites, giving it a very earthy, cool feeling. There were gauzy type
curtains and a heavy silk duvet on the bed.

She turned and stared at him. "Doc?"

"Does it suit you?" he asked.

"Well, yes"

"I saw something like this in those decorating magazines you have,"
he said quietly. "Is there a problem?"

"But why?" she said, glancing at him slyly.

He shrugged and moved to the front window, holding aside the curtain
in his hand. "I told you my reason at Amy's party, really."

"You told me," Tegan said as she sat on the bed and traced the
quilted patterns on the duvet. "You told me that Michael had called
you Daddy. And then you balked no argument and convinced me to quit
my job."

"You have to admit it didn't take a tremendous amount of convincing,
Tegan," he stressed. "We'll find you a better job." He sighed, put
out and looked out the window. "I think you want me to be as frank
as you usually are, don't you?"

"No," she responded. "I simply want to know what's going on inside
that head of yours. I came here without an argument because you were
so"

"Yes?"

"Earnest," she stated strongly. "You sincerely wanted me here
without Michael or Amy."

"Well," he sighed, slipping his hands back into his pockets and
turning to her. Then he calmly walked back across the room and stood
at the foot of the bed. "Empirically: I have your children calling
me Daddy and I've told you I'm staying with you. It's a rather
simple equation. The only missing part of it is"

She waited and stared at him. After a few moments, she leaned
forward a little. "Doc? What is the missing part?"

"You."

"Me?" she asked quietly, disbelievingly.

"Yes, well" he said, breathlessly. "If I'm a father figure to your
children and you're the mother of them and we live togetherthe
missing leg of the triangle is, by rightsthat which extends between
you and I."

"Doc, we talked about this," she began. "We're going to stay as we
were"

He sat down on the bench by the foot of the bed. "And you would feel
comfortable dating others, Tegan? With me living in the home with
you? How would your children react if you were to have a love
affair"

"And it wasn't you?" Tegan felt the words stumble out of her mouth,
hesitant.

"Well, yes" he muttered. "It would be very awkward, Tegan."

Tegan met his gaze and leaned forward, staring at him. Suddenly, she
burst into peels of laughter. "You're serious? You can't be
serious. Oh, Doc"

He straightened his shoulders and lifted an eyebrow. "I'm always
serious, Tegan. And I have put a bit of thought into this. Before
you arguelet me present my argument.over dinner?"

"Now I know you're serious," she commented. She met his eyes and
then slowly nodded. "All right. Dinner. After all, I did just
travel across a continent with you"

**

"Here?"

The Doctor nodded. He had moved the short coffee type table over in
front of the picture window in the living room. He had attempted to
make the room somewhat romantic, she thought with a smile. He had
made off with someone's bedclothes and had draped it across the table
top. There was a candelabra with three lit candles, a small offering
of fruits and bread, and a little bit of meat and something of a
dessert tray. Two glasses of red wine sat by two petite plates. He
had apparently he had spent his time while she was unpacking the
suitcases reading romance novels, she thought.

"Well" he commented quietly, coming to stand directly behind
her. "I thought"

She turned to him and saw that his eyes were hooded, hidden. "Yes?"

"I thought a private, quiet dinner" he began. Then he cleared his
throat and slid his hands into his pockets. "Yes, wellTegan, the
wine is to be served at a certain temperature and if we stand here
and just stare at it, I rather think we'll lose the purpose for"

His voice drifted off as her hands came up to lie against his
chest. "Doctorit was a great thought. Really. And the dinner is
going to be delicious, but you do know that this is a useless
gesture.the candlesthe wineyou hate wine."

"I don't hate it; I just can't stomach it well in this incarnation.
Now my third on the other hand" he began, after clearing his
throat. "Nonsense, Tegan. No gesture is useless."

She ran her hands up to his shoulders, feeling the slender planes of
his chest as she did. Then quickly, she leaned in and pressed a
warm, friendly kiss just shy of his lips. Equally as quickly, she
drew back and gave him a look with raised eyebrows. He had his eyes
closed and she found the expression on his face to be a mixture of
shock and disbelief. "Oh, Doc" she said, her voice low. "You see
what I just did wassomething that would be expected ifif we
were Yes, yes. I do think the gesture is useless. Romance"

"should be given its chance," he muttered, opening his eyes. "Do
that again, Tegan."

"Docyou don't think of me"

"You don't know how I think of you," he responded truthfully. "I'm
not quite sure how I think of you; how could you possibly have it
figured out, Tegan? Hmm? Now, please" she felt his hands tug at
her waist as they suddenly came out of his pockets. "Do that again."

She sighed and leaned in, her eyes wide, trying to meet his gaze, to
make him realize that this was a mistake. With sudden clarity of
thought, she whispered: "You don't understand, this way it's either
all or nothing"

His blue eyes were so close to hers that she could see the flecks of
gold in their depths. "I gamble, Tegan. And the odds for what you
talk aboutare very acceptable."

With a small smile that told him how crazy she thought he was, she
pressed another kiss against his chin and a gentle one against his
lips. When she drew back this time, his hands stopped her from going
far. "Doc" she whispered. "There's nothingit's not"

"Hush," he urged, tenderly and then he leaned in himself.

**
"And this is something.that you did withTom?" he asked, hesitantly.

"All the time."

"It's veryinteresting."

"And appetizing."

"I've never done this quite like this" he muttered.

"There's always a first time, Doc," she said breathlessly and glanced
at her friend. "Fruit?"

He smiled and nodded. They were both leaning back against the
couch. The candles had burned down, leaving a trail of wax on the
table. The Doctor had found, with a show of amusement, that the
lights worked on a dimmer. Between them, they had killed the better
part of the bottle of wine. He put down the glass of wine and
stretched out his leg under the table. She turned and fed him a
grape while he relaxed against the cushions.

"I suppose this is what's considered romantic," he sighed. "It's
quite relaxing." With a smile, he reached over and snagged a piece of
fudge and gently eased it to her lips. "I don't quite see how this
is considered" he swallowed.

"Erotic?" she supplied.

"You're enjoying teasing me, Tegan," he warned. "But yesI don't
see"

"And that's why I still say this isn't going to work," she said as
she held his hand from her lips. Then with a mischievous glint in
her eyes, she pulled his hand toward her, and took the piece of fudge
and the tips of his fingers in her mouth. She kept his gaze speared
with hers as she calmly ate the piece of chocolate and licked his
fingers. He could only hold her gaze so long before his eyes fell to
stare at her lips. Impishly, she pressed a kiss to the tips and let
him draw his fingers back into a fist. Then it dropped soundlessly
to his lap.

She licked her lips and nodded. "You see, Doc? All it takes is a
little imagination."

"And you've imagined it before," he voiced hoarsely.

"I didn't have to," she said, turning around for her wine glass. "It
required no imagination with Tomhe was always very"

"Yes, well" the Doctor interrupted and Tegan couldn't tell if he was
upset that she was talking about Tom in that manner or that she was
talking about sex in general. She could tell he was upset by the way
he sighed heavily, bit his lip and tore his gaze away from hers.
After a moment during which he fingered the rim of his wine glass, he
quietly stated," I meant: imagined it with me."

"Hell's teeth, Doc," she spat, snatching her hand back from her wine
glass. He turned, leaning on his elbow to look at her.

"Well, Tegan?" he urged. His eyes were intense.

"Rather egotistical, aren't you?" She responded, drawing her hands
back into her lap. Then she rose and walked off towards the
kitchen. He stayed where he was and remained attentive. Tegan
reappeared with the bottle of wine and a sour expression, she
supposed, because his eyebrows arched over his eyes in his classic:
who me pose. "Cripes, Doc, just becauseI was young and you are not
hard to look at and we were friends doesn't automatically mean I was
trying to get into your pantswe could barely talk without arguing
for almost a year."

He hummed quietly and continued to stare at her.

"You manipulated me all the time. You got us lost more than you
found us," she continued, filling the glasses with a hand that
shook. "You always avoided conversation with me when you could.
Even when we were alone, just you and I" She sighed and shook her
head. "You're a Time Lord. You made it quite clear that on some
planets you're considered a deity. And you let me know that in no
uncertain, non-verbal ways that you were exactly that. If" She put
down the bottle and speared him with an anger driven, upset
stare. "And that is a rather large if, Doctor. If I had been
attracted to you, I knew that it wouldn't go anywhere. We're
friends. Good, close, JUST friends."


"I think you're trying to convince yourself more than me," he said
with a tinge of haughtiness and looked down at his hands. "So you
say the truth is: you never were attracted to me like that."

"Platonic love; that's all, Doc. And thisthis conversation is
leading nowhere and is doing us no good. Thisit isn't going to
work. We'll just exist as we are, all right?"

"As we areof course" he breathed and looked away from her. She
gave a short nod and returned to the kitchen to replace the wine and
when she came out, the Doctor was standing by the window. In the
dim, with his hand extended and his head bowed, he resembled a
brooding Victorian hero rather than her friend.

"I thinkI'll go to bed" she whispered. "I'll take the couch if you
like" Suddenly the vehement argument she had just had seemed like
the end of the world.

"I did rather ask for this loft with sharing the bed in mind, Tegan."

There was something to his voice that made her start. She couldn't
quite define the difference. His voice was quiet, as usual, and with
a tinge of bass to his consonants. But it was hoarse with true
feeling. Maybe that was the difference. "Docyou're playing at"

"Being human? Hmm?" he responded. She felt a shiver work up her back
and the hair on the back of her neck prickled. He still stared out
the window at the snow outside. "Am I playing at being human? I
hadn't quite thought that was the case."

She shook her head. "No," she stated, still quietly. "No, you're
playing at being a husband, Doc. But there's no manual or"

"What is there to know, hmm?" he cut in.

"A sight more than you thinkDoc, men don't marry simply because they
want to be the father of children. I won't ever take them away from
youfrom what you want them to mean to you. I promise. But"

"Us?" His voice grew in volume as his face turned toward her. He
blinked and then centered a stare on her. "All or nothing you said,
Tegan. All being, I had thought, you and the children, the life
everything. Nothing being that I was to have none of that. I don't
believe I have completely lost that challenge."

"I wouldn't deny you coming back, Doc. And they would be glad to see
you regardless. Amy and Michael"

"Love me. I know. And I do care a great deal about them as well. I
care about them as if they were my own, I suppose, if you want me to
define it in some shape or form. But you, Tegan" he sighed and
returned his gaze out the window. "You are missing something
important. You feel we could stay as we are. And you would possibly
look for a relationship with someone elsewhere as is your
prerogative. I would want that for you. But" he sighed and rubbed
his knuckle against his lip for a moment. "What you are missing is
that seeing you with someone like thataffect me. And whereas
I do believe that a far amount of hurt in life occurs and that we
must shoulder our share, I know that it will affect what goes on
between us, Tegan. That will harm a friendship that means a great
deal to me and will harm the children."

She frowned and squinted at him. Before she could say anything, he
continued.

"You also miss the fact that I do care, Tegan. And not only for your
children."

Tegan neared him and sat on the chair arm and faced the window as
well. His words were affecting her. "Don't manipulate me, Doc."

He sighed and turned from the window completely. His hands found
their customary place in his pockets and he rocked forward. "I'm
not. Be truthful, Tegan. Have you ever entertained the idea of you
and me?"

"Answer it first," she retorted.

"I don't entirely know what it all entails, Tegan. But I suppose the
very fact that I'm standing here, a continent and two months
separated from the TARDIS , means yes. I've thought about what it
means to share a bed, a life with you. And I'm quite open to it.
Now," he took a deep breath. "Tell me the truth."

"You know I have. And you probably know when," she admitted with a
sigh. "I loved you at one point." With a bitter type laugh, she
nodded. "Oh, I suppose, my lad, that it had to be love. What else
would have kept me there with you through all of that?"

"Could you love me now?" he asked earnestly, tightly, yet tenderly.

"I still do," she whispered in return.

Some of his agitation bled from him. "Then why the argument, Tegan?
Surely"

"Fear. I've always been afraid of you as much as I cared about you,
you know," she replied hastily, looking away from him. "Rabbitsyou
were some alien masquerading as a manI couldn't even handle a
relationship with boyshow could I have handled a relationship with
you?"

"Hmm," he breathed. "Tegan. There's no reason to be-"

"If you say 'brave heart, Tegan', I swear I'll bung you in the nose.
It's a bloody awful encouragement," she bit out. "Hell's Teeth, Doc.
There's everything to be afraid of now. You're a close friend. You
care about my children. It's incredibly awfully complex and if I
were to let you in" she took a deep breath and shook her
head. "HellI'll just plow ahead. If I let you in that close and
you leave or hurt me"

"When did I ever hurt you?" he asked, suddenly exasperated.

"You can hurt me more than you could ever guess," she rumbled. "When
you decide that this isn't for you and leave. When the rest of the
universe pulls at you and you gallop off in that TARDIS of yours, and
you don't come back again, it will hurt."

"Tegan-"

"And the last thing I want you to do is have to make a decision
between me and traveling, Doc. I know I'll lose and it will," she
emphasized the word as she turned to him again. "It will hurt."

He sighed, his head tilted to the side and his eyes gentle. "Tegan."

She shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest, but it was more for
protection than in anger. After a minute, she felt his hand on her
elbow and raised her eyes to look at him. "Don't be afraid of me,
please?" With raised eyebrows, he reached forward to slip his other
arm around her shoulders.

"I don't know whether to cry or laugh about all of this," she
confided. "But right now, I really want to go to bed. I'm
exhausted. Arguing with you was never a restful past-time."

"Yes, wellyou're wine intake most probably added to your mental
fatigue. It's still early yet, but I think a good night sleep is a
good idea for the both of us. Shall I take-"

"No," she sighed and reached up to hold the hand on her
shoulder. "No, Doc. Come upstairs. We've slept in the same bed
before and if there is a sliver of possibility that this does work,
we'll be sharing again. I just simply want to sleep."

He nodded and glanced at the foodstuffs on the table. With a shrug,
he slid his arm further around her, cupping her waist and reached out
to turn off the lights.

**

It was the night, she decided later, and the fact that she was
sleeping next to a body again that made her sleep restful. But when
she awoke sometime in the early morning hours, she was unable to go
back to sleep. A part of her mind listened for her children while
quite another part of her brain knew that they were with their
grandparents. She was, she supposed, just like her younger self in
some respects. A part of her heart skipped a beat when she
remembered that it was not Tom but the Doctor who slept next to her,
whose hand was on her hip. The young stewardess whom had traveled
with the Time Lord was incredibly awed that he was indeed showing an
attraction, strong affection, or just plain protectiveness about
her.

But the older woman that she had become knew that there was no such
thing as a happy ending or fairy tales.

Turning, she faced him, staring at him across the pillows. His eyes
were closed and his fine hair lay across his forehead. In deference
to, she supposed, equal measures of his shyness and her want to
sleep, he was dressed in trousers and a shirt. She rubbed her cheek
on the pillow and was surprised to hear his voice, somewhat husky and
warm in the dark. "It's only four, Tegan."

She reached out to touch his lips. "You once said I was reckless
beyond what was safe, didn't you?" she asked in return.

"Once, yes. That's changed, however. You really should get some
more sleep," he pressured, his eyes still closed.

With a sigh, she moved the tips of her fingers down to his
chin. "Would it be wrong for me to want to be that impressionable
young woman again? Could I be?"

He opened his eyes and glanced at her. "One can never go backward,
Tegan."

She moved to him, on her elbows and pressed a kiss against his
lips. "I want to forget everything," she said quietly. "And just be
who I was when I traveled with you. Just until sunrise"

He sighed and his breath brushed her lips. Then, slowly his hand lay
on her shoulder. "You want us to argue, then, unceasingly and
unerringly until the rooster crows?"

"No" she pressed another kiss to his cheek, under his right eye. "I
want to just"

"Love me? Without the complications?" he asked and suddenly she
wondered why she doubted that he was knowledgeable about humans and
interactions. "Well besides the complications that naturally evolve
out of love, sex and all the fun things your mother taught you about?"

"Tranax Seven," she breathed. "Did you know I wanted you to hold me
there? A silly girl's dream."

"I probably would have," he conceded.

"Do you like sex?" she asked hurriedly.

"The few times I've tried it; it was a pleasurable enough
experience. It's the build up to it that can be horrendously tedious
and that time can often be spent doing other things. There is also
the fact that Gallifreyans don't naturally reproduce and the purpose
of sex, no matter how pleasurable, is ultimately for the production
of offspring. It seemsa pleasurable, useless exercise."

"And if I asked you to make love with me?" she asked, her voice
sounding dreamy even to her ears.

He blew out a breath and shifted his arms as she came to lean on his
chest. She smiled as he cleared his throat and tried to speak.
Tegan stopped him with a smile, a clucked tongue and a teasing kiss
to his lips. "I'd make sure the buildup wasn't tedious for you. The
useless part I can't change"

The Doctor chuckled and moved his hand up to her hair. "Are you
sure?"

She nodded. "I'm a fool, but I want to know if it could work. I
want toknow you like that."

He pulled her down to kiss her nose and then her brow. "Nothing
works in a vacuum, Tegan," he whispered tenderly. "Anything and
everything can work if enough effort is given to it. And it will
change everythingit'll be something we can't erase or change or
regret. I don't live my life with regrets, just like you." His
thumb rubbed at her lip. She smiled gently at the sound of his voice
as he continued to breathe his response. "I would rather like to
physically show my affectionsyes."

She laughed her voice husky. "You can't even say it."

"Yes, well" he drew her down for another kiss. "The answer,
regardless, is yes."

With a wider smile, she edged up to rub her nose with his. She could
feel desire thrumming in his kiss and the way his hand trembled in
her hair. As she led his hands from her hair down her body and their
kisses grew in intensity, she began to imagine the walls around them
were the stark white of the TARDIS and that there was that white
noise humming in the air around them. But his whisper stopped her
thoughts. "No, Tegan," he urged, in between their kisses. "Here.
Now. Not the past."

And she found that it didn't matter where or when they were; she was
swept away and in his arms.

**

When the morning light penetrated the room, Tegan found her head on
his chest and his hands playing with her curls. The double beat of
his hearts was like an excited, weird clock, but it lulled her.

"It wasn't tedious," he joked, quietly.

"That's right," she responded, tiredly, dreamily. "That's your way:
backhanded compliment. It was wonderful."

She could feel him nod. "Human have rather taken physical love to an
art, Tegan. And you are forever the artist."

With a sigh, she lifted her head and turned more on her stomach to
look at him. She put her chin on his chest. The chill from his body
made her think of a beautiful icicle being used for illicit erotic
play. With his patented sigh, he lifted raised his head with an arm
under it and gave her a boyish, playful smile. She sighed as well,
contented. "I do love you. But it's so different from how it was"

"It's a different animal when you evolve out of infatuation and into
deep-set affection, Tegan," he agreed.

"Hothe expert of human relations," she laughed. Then she sobered,
tender. "Have we made a mess of it?"

"No," he reassured. "I'm no more likely to run now than before. In
fact, if you tease me even remotely as you did last evening" he
muttered, good-naturedly, an embarrassed pink forming about his
cheeks. "I would never hurt you if I could avoid it, Tegan."

She gave him a smile and had a film of tears in her eyes. "I haven't
been this close to someone since Tom and it's you. I'm scared."

"Tegan-"

"Just a little," she replied.

He rubbed his knuckles against her cheek. "I care a great deal about
you, Tegan Jovanka Jones. Don't fear it, please. I'm shaking in my
cricket boots enough as is, thank you."

"Sogo with it?" she whispered. "With this?"

His blue eyes twinkled as he nodded. "I think this will prove to be
quite interesting."

**

Tegan laughed heartily as Michael launched himself at the Doctor as
he came off the exit ramp of the plane. Before Tegan had finished
hugging her daughter, both children were rambling on and on about
their week away from her and the Doctor.

"I got a 90 percent on my maths," Amy proudly responded to the Doctor
as he bent down to embrace her. She flung herself into his arms with
an enthusiasm that Tegan appreciated.

"Momma?!" Michael demanded as she picked him up. "Did you miss us?"

"Of course I did," Tegan reassured, with mock severity. "With all
my heart. I'll always miss you when I'm apart from you."

Amy frowned at the Doctor as he released her from his arms and stood,
reaching down with his free hand to take hers. "Did you miss us?"

"Of course," he said, seriously. "Did you miss us?"

Michael nodded vigorously and Tegan suppressed a laugh as her parents
nodded along with the lad. Sam leaned close to her daughter and
added: "Loudly and daily."

The Doctor glanced down at Amy as she pulled on his arm. "I don't
like the stories that Granddad tells as much as I like yours."

He lifted his eyebrows and looked to Dean who offered to take his
carry-on. Tegan's father shrugged with humor. "Apparently," the man
offered, "I don't have the mind for fantasy that you do."

Tegan barely suppressed the snort of disbelief that rumbled through
her chest at her father's confidence. They had no time to discuss
anything else as both Michael and Amy launched into stories about
each other, the grandparents and Bear. The Doctor's content look as
he met Tegan's eyes with a smile was enough to make her relax
completely and accept what they had been talking about for the past
week.

He was happy.

**
Three months later
**

"You have to go with Mrs. Myers, Michael," Tegan stated, quietly.
Amy reached for the toast as the Doctor walked into the kitchen
adjusting his tie. With a sigh, Tegan rose from the table to tighten
his knot. "I have to go with the Doctor to a meeting," she replied
to her son's pout. The Doctor lifted his chin to allow her to fuss
with his clothing.

"Problems?" the Doctor asked as he retreated to the cupboard for a
cup of coffee.

Tegan raised an eyebrow and gave him a slight shake of her head. Amy
frowned over her oatmeal and stared at her mother. "But it's
Saturday," she said plainly. Tegan nodded as she sipped from her
cup.

"Yes, but the Doctor has a meeting with an old friend and they asked
me to come along," Tegan replied. She glanced over at the Doctor and
nodded to Michael. "Could you get him a little jam for his toast?
I've got to go find my beige heels."

He nodded and turned to the refrigerator. Tegan jogged through the
apartment to the bedroom. By the time she had the shoes and matching
pocketbook, she heard Amy demanding of the Doctor: "Was Momma sick
last night?"

The Doctor frowned as Tegan came around the corner and back into the
room. "No, I wasn't sick last night, Amy? Why? Michael, drink your
milk."

The Time Lord continued to add the jam to the toast as Amy ate
another mouthful of oatmeal. After she had downed it with orange
juice, Amy continued: "But you were moaning last night, Momma."

Tegan took at deep breath and blew it out as the Doctor nearly choked
on his own voice. He turned and put the plate down in front of
Michael. "Your mother had a nightmare last night," he stumbled
through the explanation with a hard swallow.

She decided to add her agreement to him. "Yes, it was horrible."

"Is that why you were calling for the Doctor, Momma?" Amy asked.

This time it was Tegan who nearly choked on her coffee. "Yes, wellI
needed some encouragement, Amy. Now, run and grab your satchel; Mrs.
Myers will be here in five minutes. Michael, you can take your toast
with you. Bear can go too."

Michael cheered as he jumped down from the chair and reached out to
drag Bear through the kitchen and into the living room. The Doctor
hummed and sat down at the table with an aura of defeat. "Teganwe
need a larger place to live."

She nervously laughed and shook her head.

"Or we should move the bed," he stated as Michael came back around
the corner.

"Daddy? Can you tie my laces?" the boy demanded. The Doctor looked
down at the untied shoes on his feet and nodded, patting his lap.
Within seconds, and just after the Doctor put down his coffee mug,
the boy clambered up on his lap and put his feet against the edge of
the table.

"The longer lace lies like this, Mikeand then you take this one
under and loop it through," the Doctor muttered as he showed the boy
how to tie his shoes. Tegan began to clean up the plates as Amy
trotted into the kitchen with her satchel filled to bursting.

"Is that my old uniform, I see?" Tegan asked as she began to run the
water.

"May I take it, please?" Amy begged. "Miranda loves to dress-up and
we need some new dresses, Momma."

Tegan smiled and nodded. "It's only collecting dust in the closet.
But ask before you go into our bedroom again, Amy. There's two pairs
of black shoes in the bottom of my closetdo you need shoes as well?"

Her daughter giggled and bounced off to the bedroom as a knock
sounded at the door. The Doctor patted Michael on the hip and put
him down on the floor as he opened it to allow in Miranda, Henry and
Mrs. Myers into the apartment.

"Good morning," the Doctor greeted the young woman.

"Good morning, Doctor," Miriam Myers replied happily. "I see you
have the tikes ready to go."

"Michael has been looking forward to it," the Doctor stated with a
smile. Tegan joined him, wiping her hands on the towel she held.
From the back bedroom the sound of girl's squealing was heard.

"I think Miranda and Amy have found the shoes in our closet," she
confided. "Thank you for watching them for the day, Miriam."

"It keeps them all busy," she responded and then turned to call for
everyone. As the children piled towards the door, the Doctor and
Tegan both received kisses and hugs. "We'll see you at five?"

Tegan nodded and let the children run out the door. She smiled and
hugged her friend as they shut the door. Then she turned and shook
her head. "Docyou're still blushing."

"Yes, wellI've never had the pleasure of having others hear when I'm
having" he swallowed and grimaced. "Yes, while we're involved,
Tegan."

She lifted an eyebrow. "I suppose you'll want me to be quiet?"

His blush deepened and he glanced at the table, immediately beginning
to help clear the plates. "We have to meet the Brigadier and Doris
in an hour, Tegan. We really should get on the road soon."

Tegan laughed and joined him at the sink to pat his chest
lovingly. "It's okay to say you enjoyed it, Doc."

"You know I enjoyed it," he cleared his throat and adjusted his
tie. "Are you through teasing me, Tegan?" he pleaded, his eyes
widening. "I really do think we should get on the road."

She mercifully gave a smile and looped her arm through his and walked
away from the sink full of dishes.

**

The Doctor beamed widely as he ushered Tegan into the TARDIS. It had
been three months since he had been back to his ship and she had been
very forthright about saying she wanted him to spend some time at his
old home. The night before, after their love making, she had rested
in his arms and told him in quiet tones that they should go to the
TARDIS occasionally. He hadn't needed the contentment of post coital
cuddling to agree.

"Other men have hobbies," she had said, brushing his hair back from
his forehead. "Maybe you can play about and make all those repairs
you've complained about for years."

"I don't complain," he had answered indignantly, tightening his arms
on her. "I state factstrongly."

"Um hmm," she muttered, cuddling to him. "I love you for your
statements, you know. Will you sleep tonight?"

He had kissed her tenderly and shook his head. "No, but I'll stay."

But that had been the night before and his calm had been replaced by
enthusiasm.

"I made a list"

"During lunchI saw. The Brigadier thought you were insanehow many
napkins long was it?" she joked. "What was it of?"

"Jobs that should be done about the TARDIS. Things that I put off
for years and now that I have the time, they should be done. You
know how it is, Tegan. When you're a Time Lord, you put off a few
things for a year and suddenly it's hundreds of years later. I
suppose I might actually be able to complete the block transfer
computations to fix the chameleon circuit. And then there's the
internal configurationnothing's been right since we burnt up a
quarter of the architecture when I regenerated. I'm sure I could
find lots of other thingsI could have a brand new TARDIS when I'm
finished" he rambled on, walking about the console. He excitedly
waved one hand in the air. "And then there's the interior decorating
I should change that"

Tegan gave him a gentle, loving frown. "You miss the TARDIS."

"Well, Tegan, she has been with me a very long time," he responded,
walking to the work bench in the room and extracting the time
element. "And has been the home away from home that I'll ever know.
It's my only tie to Gallifrey that's strange."

"What's strange?" she asked, tightly, coming around to stand by
him. "Oh Lord, what is that"

"The homing beacon," he muttered. "That I gave to Peri."

"You left her in her time, didn't you?" Tegan pressed.

"Of course, I did," he stated indignantly. "Hmm," he frowned as he
dug out his half-rimmed glasses. "She has it set to the highest
priority."

Tegan looked up at her lover in the dim of the console room. "How
bad is that?"

"It could be nothing," he reassured, reaching out to stop the alarm
from tripping the light. Then he reached out to clap her
shoulder. "Do you want to help-"

"Doc?" She shook her head with mild amusement and a lot of love. "If
she's sending it, doesn't that mean that something desperately wrong
could be happening? Peri didn't strike me as the sort of person who
would send you a frivolous alarm."

"Ah, no. Quite," he frowned.

"Then, you'll have to go," she said, tenderly.

"She could just want to go home to America and can't afford the plane
fare," his frown deepened. "Rassilon"

She gave him a frown and then kissed his cheek. "You'll be back
tonight?"

"I'll leave tonight. I told Mike I would finish his story tonight.
I can leave after that and be back before morning," he stated. "But
I think you and I should head back to the flat"

She nodded, looped her arm through his and walked toward the door.
She stopped him there. "You'll be careful?"

"You aren't worried I won't come back?" he asked in answer.

"I know you will," she responded.

**

Michael and Amy were seated on Amy's bed listening, clearly in
rapture, as the Time Lord finished his story. Tegan leaned against
the door jam, holding extra blankets.

"And the knight climbed the lady's tower and climbed through her
window. Although the lady was less than happy about the knight's
entrance, she let him in. And they lived happily ever after."

Amy was quiet for a minute and then she asked: "Did the knight marry
his lady?"

The Doctor lifted an eyebrow and looked to Tegan. "They did someday,
Amy."

Tegan's eyes misted over as she heard his answer.

"I don't like love," Michael frowned.

"Love is wonderful. It made the knight happy," the Doctor explained
patiently. "Don't you love your mother?"

"Yes, but that's different," Mike answered. "Momma isn't a girl."

The Doctor lifted his eyebrow as the children separated and went to
their beds. He tucked Amy into her bed and smiled as he received a
large hug and kiss for his troubles. Michael made him kiss Bear and
tuck the stuffed animal into the bed along side its owner. "Love
you, Daddy," he said plainly and rolled over.

With a sad smile and a nod, the Time Lord exited the room, closing
the door quietly.

**

"I'll be back before the morning light," he said quietly, embracing
Tegan lightly. Her head lay on his chest and she listened to his
hearts beat. "I promise."

"I know you will," she reassured for the second time that
evening. "Sooner if at all possible."

With a sigh, he tilted her face up to receive his goodbye
kiss. "Anything from Morocco for you?" he asked tenderly.

With a grin, she shook her head no. "Just come back."

He gave her a deep kiss, his arms holding her tightly, his lips
parting hers. Three months had brought their familiarity to a sweet,
tender level in which he reveled.

"And when I do," he pressed, releasing her reluctantly. "We do need
to discuss making this proper by your legal system."

"If you are asking me, Doc, in that 'never a straight question' way
you have; the answer is yes," she said saucily. "Now get going, you."

"Six hours, Tegan. And I'll be back. Sleep well."

She gave him a nod, a tight squeeze and then released him. And with
a wide, happy smile, he opened the door and disappeared into the hall.

With a sad smile, she closed the door and resigned herself to another
night alone in the bed. Hopefully it would be her last.