Everyone of the Potter/Weasley/Longbottom/Scamander clan had a significant other. Except for me. Lonely Hugo Weasley. And they all know that I've accepted that. Maybe I'm not meant to find someone, right? Perhaps I'll be like Uncle Charlie, with his dragons. Not needing the company, indulging on his dragon taming that has become his life. I was perfectly content with being alone. No matter how many people my family tried to match me up with (both boy and girl), I never found anyone.
So, everyone was shocked when I showed up to the annual Christmas party with a date.
Especially said date being a pygmy puff.
"Is everyone here?" Grandma Weasley asked, doing a quick head count.
"We're missing someone!" Roxanne declared, looking around at the faces of her cousins.
"Is it Hugo? He's always late for these things," Rose said, searching for her brother.
"I don't see him. But I thought he would come earlier this time,"Grandma Weasley expressed her worry. As if on cue, the front door slammed open to reveal me, with a yellow pygmy puff resting on my shoulder. That's when the chaos struck. Immediately, out of my throwing range.
"Hugo," Rose said softly, peeking out from behind a particularly comfortable couch that also hid Albus, Victoire, and Lucy.
"Hmm?" I asked innocently. I knew what was coming.
"There's a pygmy puff on your shoulder," I heard Louis say from behind the kitchen door.
"Hide from the Hugo Rampage!" James yelled somewhere. I chose to ignore him.
"I know," I said. Then I sat down in my favorite armchair, which Dominique was behind. She squeaked and ran, jumping behind Rose's couch and landing on Albus.
"His name is Sebastian," I told them, tentatively petting him. Dad looked at me from behind a lamp. That's not a good hiding place, in case you were wondering.
"Hugo. Did you actually hear Louis? There is a pygmy puff on your shoulder," he told me, pointing with a shaky finger.
"And?" I asked.
"You have an irrational fear of pygmy puffs," Uncle Percy reminds. He was smarter, and was behind the back door.
"It's not irrational!" I snapped, and everyone jumped back to their hiding places. Uncle George was brandishing a plastic sword. Hah. Everyone feared the Hugo-Pygmy-Puff-Rampage. Perhaps I should explain.
It all started the day I was born. Okay, it wasn't the day I was born. It was about a week after, when I had gotten a cold. As you all know, or at least should know, babies getting sick is not a good thing. So Mum took me to St. Mungo's to make sure that I would be okay. After the reassured her that I was fine, and would get over the cold in a few days, we were leaving. Since I was just a baby, Mum didn't want to Apparate with me. So we went about doing things the Muggle way. When we were leaving, a pygmy puff practically appeared out of nowhere. It jumped onto me (as a sick baby) and started hopping around. Naturally, I cried. Loudly. I think the pygmy puff might have been helping me, but I, being an infant, did not know. So I flailed my arms, hitting it repeatedly, until the pygmy puff fell off of me. Since that day, pygmy puffs have been out to get me. They hate me. It's a mutual dislike.
When I was three, I went to Uncle George's joke shop, WWW, with Dad. In case you didn't know, he sold (and still sells) pygmy puffs there. It seemed, however, to slip Dad's mind. So I was very enthusiastic upon going. Dad let me look through the store while he 'caught up' with Uncle George. So, while I was roaming around, I found the pygmy puff area. Some rocket thing that was zooming around the store ran into the display, knocking them all over. And onto me. I thought I was drowning in pygmy puffs. So I screamed. Dad and Uncle George heard somehow, over the bustle of the shop, and came to help. While, at the time, it seemed to be an overwhelming amount of pygmy puffs, it turns out that there were only ten or so. I was hyperventilating, and Dad had to calm me down while Uncle George fixed the display. Needless to say, that was a dark day for Little Hugo. I never entered the store again.
By the time I was seven, word had gotten around that Hugo Weasley feared and despised pygmy puffs. So Fred II and James II thought it would be hilarious to play a prank on me. In their ten-year old minds, that prank involved a pygmy puff. While I was yawning, they launched Arnold II (I'll get into that later) at me. Now, I don't know if it was good or bad aim on their part, or if the winds of fate decided to blow extra strong that day, or if Arnold II was feeling super feisty and decided to redirect his course, but the pygmy puff landed. In my mouth. With such force, that I started choking. And crying. Mum came out, and summoned the pygmy puff with an Accio charm, and scolded James and Fred for the better part of the day. They still were laughing hours later.
As you may or may not know, Aunt Ginny loves purple pygmy puffs. After her first (supposedly sweet) one died, she purchased another, which was spawn of Satan. When I was nine, I stayed over at her and Uncle Harry's house to play with Lily. I had been feeling particularly lonely, as had she, since Rose and Albus had gone to Hogwarts previously that year. So we spent a lot of time at each others houses. Then, I didn't know about Arnold II, or I wouldn't have come. But anyway, I spent most of the day in Lily's room. She left quickly to go eat, telling me to come along. So I did. Slowly. I was walking cautiously down the stairs as not to slip. While I was watching my feet, Arnold II made an appearance, jumping onto my head. I ran down the rest of the stairs, yelling, "PYGMY PUFF ATTACK!" repeatedly. towards the bottom, I fell, still trying to get Arnold off of my head. I flailed my arms and legs like a madman, but Arnold wouldn't budge. Then I started to whack my head and Arnold II with miscellaneous objects. In the end, when Aunt Ginny finally came to the rescue, half of her living room was destroyed. That was the first ever real Hugo-Pygmy-Puff-Rampage.
From that day on, whenever I saw a pygmy puff, disaster struck. That's why my parents were afraid to send me to Hogwarts, knowing that there would be some there. But I went anyways. And all my relatives (excluding Teddy and Victoire, who no longer attended the school) managed to keep me away from pygmy puffs, or at least distract me when they were near. But in my second year, the Hugo Senses grew stronger, and I could detect pygmy puffs when they were close enough to attack me. And vise versa. So, when in Potions class one time, a boy sitting a few rows in front of me had a pygmy puff taking refuge in his bag, all Hell broke loose. I screamed, and started flinging various potions ingredients around the room. Everyone ducked, trying to avoid my wrath, until the professor managed to separate me from the rest of the class with a shield charm. I relaxed slightly, being safe from the demon. But I got a month of detention. Mum was not happy. There were many other examples of the monstrosities that we know as pygmy puffs, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Back to the story.
So, at the party, it made sense that everybody was shocked and scared of me with a pygmy puff.
"Hugo. You hate pygmy puffs," Teddy reminded me from under a rug. And he calls himself an Auror-in-training!
"I'm facing my fears," I told them, and I could practically hear them all roll their eyes. I guess I should explain that, too.
After what was called the Potions Incident of Hugo Weasley, everybody in Hogwarts knew of my fear. And I was made fun of because of it. I mean, who's afraid of an innocent little pygmy puff? Not even a puffskein, but a pygmy puff. And to make it worse, I was in Gryffindor. So my phobia was a touchy subject for me. Until, in my last year, I decided that I would I would face my fear.
You have to understand how difficult this was, because pygmy puffs are practically banned in the Gryffindor Tower. So I knew it was going to be tough. First, I sent a letter to Uncle George, asking if he could send me a pygmy puff. He asked if I was crazy, then told me that Mum had forbidden anyone in the family to own a pygmy puff, making an exception for his store. He said that he didn't want to be the reason for mass destruction. So I asked around the Gryffindor tower. Most people had a similar response to George. Those who did own pygmy puffs were afraid that I would go on a homicidal rampage. So, I ruled out my own house. Then I chose Hufflepuff. Everybody in the Hufflepuff house is reasonably nice and friendly, or at least that's what they're known for. So I asked every Hufflepuff I saw if they had a pygmy puff, or if they could refer me to a friend with one. Most of them politely said no, but one gave me a pygmy puff, saying that I could keep it. It was yellow. So I did keep it. And named it Sebastian. Sebastian and I were on our way back to Gryffindor Tower, ducking whenever I heard the slightest noise. And once we made it into my common room, disaster struck.
"HUGO WEASLEY HAS A PYGMY PUFF!" someone exclaimed. There were multiple screams as everyone tried to make it safely to their dormitories, or any dormitory, really. I assume they weren't picky whilst saving their own lives. Soon, there was only me and Sebastian in the common room. We took that as a signal for bonding time. And bond we did.
"May I ask what inspired this idea?" Lily asked. She was, with Aunt Ginny, behind the curtains of the window.
"I'm a Gryffindor. And Gryffindors shouldn't be afraid of pygmy puffs," I told them matter-of-factly. Aunt Ginny raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. And Gryffindors shouldn't be afraid of spiders. But that didn't stop Ron," Uncle Harry said. He was sharing the same 'hiding place' as Teddy. Okay, he's a full-out Auror. What is with these people?
"Well, Dad had a traumatizing experience with spiders," I said.
"You had multiple traumatizing experiences with pygmy puffs," James reminded me gently from behind a tapestry. See, that's better than under a rug. Aurors these days. Am I right?
"But... It doesn't matter why I want to face my fears," I told them, looking at Sebastian. I started petting him. Sensing that it might be safe, people began to emerge from their shelters, and eventually everybody was settled down, staring at me warily.
"So. Why Sebastian?" Rose asked, trying to start a conversation.
"It's a normal name. And he looks like a Sebastian, doesn't he?" I responded, looking at Sebastian fondly.
"Well, to me he looks -" Albus started to say, only to be interrupted by my scream as Sebastian bit the tip of my nose.
"THIS MEANS WAR!"
