I am going to regret this. It might be in a few hours. Or days. Or maybe even years. But it will happen. Over and over, I'll look back on today as the greatest mistake of my life. The day where it all went wrong. The day when I could have had it all, but I chose to give everything up. For a girl.
"Jerry Russo?" I hear my name being called by the judge.
"Yes?" I ask, trying to convince everyone in the courtroom that I had been paying attention and had heard everything that was just said. The judge adjusts his wire-rimmed glasses and peers down from the bench, addressing me. It makes for a rather creepy image. The overhead lights reflect on the lenses and the glare manages to obscure my view of his pupils. Instead, all I see are two shiny white disks. Which, now that I think about it, is preferable to seeing his actual eyes. This man is not an attractive specimen, I can tell you that. Add to this his greasy over-comb and lack of oral hygiene, and you've got a face that most people don't want less than a mile away from them when they're about to make one of the biggest decisions of their life.
"Your request has been approved by the council. It is exactly-" he pauses to study the comically large clock on the opposite wall. "five thirty three. At this time tomorrow, all magic will be denied of you and your title of 'The Family Wizard' shall be turned over to your brother. Your wand will be confiscated and all access to the lair will be terminated. These are the conditions of your request, correct?"
Yes.
Yes, those are the conditions.
I had seen them written out.
I had agreed to them.
But hearing it spoken aloud, by this grotesque symbol of authority, finally put meaning behind them. I am about to give up the one thing I had been striving for my entire life. The thing that I had achieved, after a nine-hour-long wizard competition. Am I wasting my life? Wasting my powers? Do I even have the right to anoint my wizarding powers to my brother, who lost the competition? Who hadn't given a damn during training? Who I know will do nothing but misuse magic? And this is all so that I can have a chance with a girl who I haven't even been dating for more than a few months. The insanity of it all finally smacks me in the face.
"Yes, Your Honor." I hear the words come out of my mouth, but I feel detached from my body. As if I hadn't willed myself to say them. Maybe I even willed myself not to say them. But something inside of me is still fighting for the irrational fairytale ending I dreamt of, and that side just one.
I'm not completely insane, right?
I know she likes me. A lot. I don't think she loves me, but that can always change. I guess if I've found someone who likes me, I should hang on to her. At least that's what my mom said. According to her, I should take anything I can get, because with my looks, I won't get much.
I think she was joking, but you never know.
People start moving around me and the judge stands up to get a drink. I blink back to reality and realize that I'm done. I can go back to my dorm now. I'll have to face Theresa sooner or later. And my parents. Oh god. They're going to kill me.
I pull out my wand and flash back to the family lair, for what is probably the last time. I try to commit to memory every detail. The blinding light. The drop you feel, as if you just plunged off the edge of the Empire State. The metallic taste of electricity in your mouth. And the then being jolted back to reality. Like an elevator coming to a stomach-churning stop at your floor.
I can feel the rug beneath my feet and I can smell the dust in the air, but I don't want to open my eyes. I just want to stand here, in the family lair, and never leave.
I don't want to close the door behind me, knowing that the next time I open it, it will be nothing but a freezer.
I don't want to face my family. I don't want to look my father in the eyes when I tell him that I'm throwing away eighteen years of his wizard training down the drain and handing my powers over to my incompetent brother.
Maybe if I just freeze time, while I still can. I can live out the rest of my life in a frozen world, hopping about on one foot. Yeah, that's a great plan. Who am I kidding? I can't take this back. What's done is done. In 24 hours, I'll be a mortal and that's that. I need to start embracing it.
Screw it. I'll embrace it later. For now, I'd like to continue standing here with my eyes shut so I can wallow in my misery.
