I. Before
Finnick Odair meets Annie Cresta on the day of her birth. Finnick's mother is a midwife to the poorer areas in District 4, and she sees to the coming into the world of many infants each year. As a youngster, Finnick helps his mother with odd things like fetching water and towels or attending to the needs of women waiting or recently having given birth. He does not remember Annie Cresta, nor does he remember the other hundreds of babies that pass through his mother's care, though he often sees young children at play, and smiles proudly, knowing that he and his mother brought that child into the world safely. When he watches the child run to his mother's loving arms, he frowns a little.
His mother tells him that a wave carried him to her doorstep, that Finnick is a child born of the ocean, that his eyes the color of and clear as a tropical sea are proof of the fact. The truth of it was that a young woman had a passing romance with a young man who didn't stay, and the woman died giving birth, so the midwife adopted Finnick as her own child. They are an odd pair: the homely midwife with arthritis just beginning to seep into her thick fingers, and the comely Finnick, the boy whose optimism seeps into everyone's conscience around him. When Finnick is seven, the midwife tells him the true story of his birth, but Finnick continues to believe the ocean story for many years after.
Annie Cresta acknowledges Finnick for the first time during the 65th Reaping. Until then, he has just been some boy a few grades ahead of her; she has barely noticed him. She watches him walk the long aisle down to the stage, jaw set, brows knit with consternation, eyes determined. The next day she watches as he bids his mother farewell before boarding the shining train bound for the city that she has only seen in pictures, and she realizes that his mother is the local midwife. The idea that Finnick may have seen her being born causes her to blush slightly and she unhooks the hair behind her right ear, letting it curtain her face though she knows that he is not looking at her. Then she realizes that she will probably watch him die, and that is much worse, she thinks, than a little embarrassment.
In the following weeks, Annie watches shy Finnick ride the chariot, radiant Finnick delight Caesar Flickerman, brave Finnick wield the trident, and too-young-for-this Finnick kill for the crown. Capitol Finnick celebrates his victory with sexy edge, but when Finnick comes home, he is just a haunted little boy and this makes Annie cry once or twice.
After five years of living a life shackled by the Capitol, Finnick is a shell. On the surface, he is strong, talented, and beguiling. He is still the chatter of Panem's teenage girls who describe his eyes as ocean emeralds, but Annie thinks that his eyes are stained glass windows and behind them are ghosts and fear. She sees this in his drooping shoulders when he returns from trips to the Capitol, in the way he lets his bare feet slide along the rough wood of the docks, and in the way he dives into the ocean without abandon as though he wishes his body might let him drown.
She is so engrossed in thinking about this as she watches Finnick's eyes sadly scan the crowd that she momentarily forgets where she is and why her name is being called. The girl beside her lets out a long-held breath, and then Annie remembers. Apple Fallsom's Capitol-accented voice calls again. "Annie Cresta! Please approach the stage." But she can't move. Her whole body is frozen; she can't even blink away the tears that have formed in her eyes. The dark hand of a girl sitting to her right cups her own and helps her stand. She hears words of comfort and relief being whispered. Annie makes her way to stage, already looking like a puppet on strings.
Finnick takes one look at the diminutive mop of hair stumbling toward the stage and slumps. This is not a hopeful start to his first year mentoring. Mags, the old woman sitting beside him, gives his shoulder a nudge and he remembers that he must look brilliant for the cameras, so he sits up and gives the girl a wink as she shakes Apple's hand.
"Volunteers? No? Let's move on to our male tribute for the year!" Apple reaches deep into the bowl of paper strips and pulls one out. She reads, "Levi Coronado." Annie trembles. His mother taught at the school she attended. He walks with a limp and trips on the stairs leading to the stage. "Are there any volunteers?" Apple asks.
"I volunteer." A tanned 18-year-old emerges from the crowd, and Finnick is more impressed. He is built like a brick wall. He ascends the steps to the stage and announces, "My name is Behem Coronado. I volunteer as tribute." Levi takes off the necklace he is wearing and hands it to his brother before hurriedly running off the stage.
"Well, then this concludes our 70th District 4 Reaping. Let us congratulate our tributes, Annie Cresta and Behem Coronado!" The audience members applaud, some enthusiastically, others half-heartedly. "Farewell, and may the odds ever be in your favor!"
On their first night in the Capitol, Annie hears Finnick screaming in his sleep. She wants to extract his fears and take them upon herself, but remembers that she already has more fears than she can hold herself, so she stays in bed and tries and fails to quell her own.
The next morning, while Apple is still asleep, the two tributes and the two mentors share an awkward breakfast. Mags and Finnick eat. Behem takes small sips from a glass of pink juice while toying with his necklace, and Annie is transfixed on tearing a piece of bread into smaller and smaller pieces.
To break the silence, Finnick asks, "So, how're you two feeling?" well aware that no one was feeling well.
"I'm okay," replies Behem.
"How about you, Annie?" No response. "Annie?"
She suddenly looks up. "What?"
"Never mind. You two should eat. You'll need the strength. The crêpes are delicious, by the way. Try one, you know, while you still can." This statement grants Finnick a glare from Mags. Behem hesitantly reaches for a crêpe.
"You've given up on us already," Annie mutters.
"It's not like that," Finnick begins, but can't finish, suddenly feeling very guilty. Thankfully, at that moment, Apple bursts into the room and begins to dictate the conversation.
While Annie and Behem meet with their stylists, Finnick sits down for lunch with Mags. He puts his head in his hands, asking, "Mags, why do you always treat your tributes like your own children when you know they aren't coming home?"
"Where would you be if I didn't?"
"But the rest of them…"
"When you look into someone's eyes and see that you are their last hope, how can you not try?"
Finnick puts a piece of shrimp in his mouth and chews it very slowly, thinking of what he could possibly say to that. Near the end of their meal, he asks, "Mags, did you ever have a family?"
"Yes."
"What happened to them?"
"My husband and son died in a fishing accident. That same year, my daughter was reaped."
"Oh." There is no need to explain. Four years ago, after Finnick refused to humor an heiress from the Capitol, his mother mysteriously died of disease. Since then, Mags has been like a mother to him. "I'm so sorry."
"They would be happy to know that my love for them goes out to others that need it. People like you and Annie and Behem."
"Do you think Snow will ever let me have a family?"
Mags shrugs.
Over the next few days, Finnick finds himself unexpectedly invested in Annie and Behem's training. Against his better judgment, he is beginning to truly care for their wellbeing. It is the first time he has come to care about anyone since he won the Games five years ago. Perhaps as a result, Finnick's dreams worsen, and his screams become so loud that Annie can barely sleep.
Two nights before the Games begin, Finnick has a familiar nightmare of being back in the arena. Except this time, upon his victory, when he turns over the body of what should have been the District 1 female, he sees Annie's face instead. Terrified, he gets out of bed, and walks out on to the balcony.
Annie is already there. She is tying and untying a rope into various types of knots.
"Did you have a bad dream?" she asks him.
"Yeah. Something like that."
"Get those a lot?"
"I guess you could say so."
"If only all your fans knew what a hot mess you really are," Annie chuckled, "maybe you could finally live a normal life." Finnick also finds himself grinning. Annie looks up to see that his true smile is comically toothy, and laughs again. The stylists have treated Annie's hair with something so that it falls in soft waves and shines in the moonlight. When she moves, the waves roll like strings on a harp playing harmony to her speech. He thinks back to the Chariot Rides, and remembers losing his breath when he saw her. Dressed in scales and adorned with shells, Annie was a mermaid from his mother's bedtime stories.
"Was winning worth it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Living now. Is it better than being dead?"
Again, Finnick does not know what to say. Is it just him or has this been happening a lot recently? After a long pause, he says, "Not yet." Annie seems to have lost focus on the conversation, though, so he decides to go back to bed.
"Come again tomorrow?" he hears as he walks through the door.
"Yeah. Try to get some sleep, Annie. Good night."
The 70th Hunger Games are fought in a muddy marshland, where the sun is always hidden behind clouds, giving the place a sickly yellow-green glow. Annie is the only source of light in the gloomy arena. Finnick watches nervously, chewing until his fingers are ragged, and nail rips off with the texture of boiled seaweed. He feels like a used dishrag, but Mags looks determined and patient as ever. Finnick resolves never to bond with his tributes again.
On the first day, both Annie and Behem manage escape the initial bloodbath alive. Behem refuses to join the Careers' group, and instead he and Annie team up with the surviving tributes from Districts 3 and 8, with whom they plan to set up intricate traps when they can get the supplies. As the group settles down to rest for the evening, Annie makes a request to Behem: "Please go home for me. Tell my parents I love them, tell Mags thank you, tell your mom that she was my favorite teacher, and… tell Finnick that I hope someday living becomes better than dying."
Half asleep, Behem replies, "Yeah. Tell my baby brother to hurry up and turn 19 so he doesn't get reaped again."
Annie notices that sometime during the events of the day, his necklace has fallen off, and he is clutching at his shirt collar uneasily in his sleep. She weaves him a crown of flowers and sleeps lightly.
On the second day, a violent encounter results in Behem's death at the hands of the District 9 male who repeatedly hacks at Behem's neck with a sickle long after he is dead. Annie runs off alone screaming, her sanity broken. Finnick looks to Mags for comfort and she holds his crying face in the same way she held him when his mother died, in the same way she held her daughter when her son and husband died, in the same way that she had wanted to be held years ago when she lost everything. Shortly before the end of the broadcast, a clip is shown of Annie, hidden in a tree, staring blankly through the camera lens. It is almost as though her eyes see it, but her mind doesn't.
Finnick's broken heart and weary body can't seem to perform that night, but a purple-haired woman feeds him a secret anyway. She is the Head Gamemaker's paramour, and Finnick suggests that nothing would make him love her more than if she asked the Gamemakers to flood the arena.
Thanks for reading. Chapter 2 coming soon!
Notes: Levi and Behem are shortened forms of Leviathan and Behemoth. In my head I pronounce them "Lev-ee" and "Bay-em". In addition, Coronado means "the crowned one" and is the name of a city in Southern California situated on an island connected to the mainland by a narrow strip of land called the Silver Strand.
