AN: So I've been meaning to write this one for a while now, I've started it then abandoned, but I felt like I needed to start finishing my work. I haven't decided how long this story will last. Guess we'll see when I run out of things to write. For those of you waiting on Aubade, first thank you, second it will be updated as well, I'm just struggling a little with chapter 9. As always reviews always motives writers, so please review if you can. Enjoy!
A shout out to my fellow Careesers over at Person of Interest Discussion Forum for keeping me motived and inspired, for making me laugh and being my sounding board. Thank you!
NOW REVISED: Thank you to the amazing Carolinagirl919 for going through this for me. She corrected, suggested, and save it!
Summary: When babies start disappearing from hospital nurseries around New York Finch worries it has something to do with their latest numbers-a brother and sister who runs an elite adoption agency for the prominent and barren. Of course this requires Carter and Reese to go undercover as a married couple who desperately want a child to add to their otherwise fulfilling lives.
"Now so much I know that things just don't grow
If you don't blessed them with your patience
And I've been there before I held up the door
For every stranger with a promise
But I'm holding back, that's the strength that I lack
Every morning keeps returning at my window
And it brings me to you and I won't just pass through
But I'm not asking for a storm"
"Emmylou" - by First Aid Kit
Playing House
Chapter 1
She didn't know why she bothered thinking there were normal days anymore. The day started out like as usual; getting up at six in the morning to go for a run, and then waking Taylor up for school. She prepared breakfast, because as it was the most important meal of the day and she wanted him to be on his A-game. She couldn't believe that her baby was going to be a senior in high school this fall. He was already applying to colleges, prepping for the SAT, and taking a few AP classes as well. There was only a week of school left before summer vacation started.
Her baby boy had talked about possibly going into medicine. She just smiled when he bought up the month long internship he applied for at John Hopkins, showing her the brochures after dinner. She cried from the sheer joy of knowing that at least she was doing something right with him. He'd taken a job working at a coffee shop downtown a few days a week─ something she agreed to as long as it didn't interfere with his school work. When he mentioned that the internship would cost $2,000 she was apprehensive, but he just shrugged saying that he'd been saving for it, that he was close, and she didn't have to worry about it. She felt so proud of him.
Carter sometimes wondered if Taylor wanted a sibling, but selfishly dismissed those thoughts because it brought back too many memories of a man who was no longer here. She had raised Taylor with not much more than her blood, sweat, and tears. She couldn't do it again so she never asked. She assumed that Taylor was smart enough to understand her feelings so he never brought it up. But the guilt lingered within her like so many other little things she chastised herself for. Shaking herself awake from her thoughts, she looked at the clock and saw Taylor munching on a slice of toast. She smiled at him and drank her lukewarm coffee. Some mornings it was Taylor that woke her up, not the caffeine or the nightmares. Those were good mornings.
II
John threw the ball past Bear again, smiling as the dog ran to retrieve it. It was still early, but Finch was on his way over. He usually took this time to give Bear some attention when he was spending the night with him. It seemed that Bear had three homes and owners now, occasionally with Carter and her apartment, as the fourth. He was a lucky dog with a lot of people who loved him. He threw the ball once more after Bear came racing back with it. John was always baffled at how easy it was for him, Finch, and Shaw to show Bear affection and give him all their love, but it was also a sad reminder of how broken they were.
While he understood his own reasoning and Finch's as well, he often wondered about Shaw. His mind moved to their rooftop conversation almost a month ago, where she basically called him a woman. He wondered if she had steroid vials stored conveniently to make him look less capable. But maybe she had the right idea, a night or three of fun then you move on. What had she said? "No muss, no fuss."
He had been seeing Zoe since their paths crossed at the Coronet Hotel a few months ago. There was nothing exclusive about them, but from her behavior from a week ago made him wonder if he was misreading her. She was obviously annoyed with him the night she, Shaw and Carter agreed to play bait, but he brushed it off, blaming it on her bruised ego that Ian chose Carter over her.
His grip on the ball grew tight thinking of those events; of seeing Carter in a skin tight leather dress, of her giggling to another man's words, of her kissing said man. It was a hard one for him, because she was his friend and he was worried.
He slept with Zoe because his mortality was in at the forefront of his mind, and the one person he wanted to be with he couldn't reach out to. He cared too much about her to bring her in again. Carter wasn't someone he could spend a night or three with; she was the kind of woman that once you got a taste of, you wanted it over and over. While Zoe had her qualities, Carter was something completely different. Her whole being radiated with a pureness he hadn't seen in too many people. She was truly selfless, and he wasn't. He wanted more from her than he could offer, and because of that, she would remain just a friend.
His thoughts were disturbed by Finch's entrance. "Good morning Harold."
"Good morning, Mr. Reese. We have numbers," he said as he took his place behind his desk. "And I'm afraid this will require Detective Carter's assistance."
Suddenly John's interest peaked. Any case with Carter was bound to be an interesting one, and Finch was about to explain just how interesting.
II
When she sat across from John and Finch, she knew something was up. She watched Finch fidget with his glasses, then his green tea. Something was bothering him. John didn't look like he was in any better mood.
"Okay, what's going on with you two?"
"We have a special task for you Detective," Finch said, pushing the file across the table to her.
She took the offered file and looked through it, occasionally looking up at the two men who waited for her feedback. "I heard about this a couple of months ago. It was a shame what happened to that family."
"Looks like it's been happening more and more frequently. Something isn't right with that," John said before taking a long gulp of his lukewarm coffee.
Carter spared him an extra second than necessary, then Finch spoke up to steal her attention. "Meet our latest persons of interest: Mr. Michael and Miss Ana Bradford, siblings running the 'Cybele Adoption Agency' on the Upper East Side. Their client list is composed of some of the most distinguished individuals of this city, and some even around the world."
"Cybele, Phrygian Mother Earth, goddess who embodies the fertile earth," Carter said as she looked at the name again. She had read about it in one of those Greek mythology books. When she looked up, at both men had a look of appreciation on their faces. "What? I read too!"
"Of course, Detective. I'm impressed that's all," said Finch, giving her one of his tight smiles.
"I see where you guys are going with this. It can't be a coincidence that you guys get this hit while these kids are disappearing. In the state of New York, it usually takes about two weeks before social security numbers are processed for newborns." She couldn't help the smile of satisfaction that made its way onto her lips at Harold's expression, while John tried to suppress a smile.
He cleared his throat and nodded. "Yes, I believe you are right detective. It is too much of a coincidence."
"So what do you need from me?" She questioned, finally asking them the reason for their meeting.
"This agency─ as it turns out─ is quite elite. They don't just cater to anyone; they cater to the best of the best and of course those with means. In addition to the rigid selection process of their clientele, a quick scan of their security systems demonstrate that this is not the kind of place where you can simply walk in and get information."
"You're talking about undercover work." She figured as much just from the folder.
"Yes, this would require a couple of a certain age and means looking for the one thing they want desperately─ a child," Finch said, toying with the paper end of his tea bag.
Carter found it amusing that he was slowly revealing his little quirks to her. It also surprised her that he seemed so nervous, a sign that whatever they were going to ask of her was going to be annoying as hell. What was even more curious was that John seemed to also appear as nervous as Harold. She was all for helping people, but there were a few occasions she when questioned what in god's name she was doing listening to these two. Even more curious was that John seemed also as nervous as Harold. She sighed and sat back in her seat and raised a brow at John.
"We need to get married," he simply stated.
She let out a dry laugh, and then she looked at Harold who looked as neutral as Switzerland. "Oh, you're not kidding."
"No Detective, this is where we need your assistance."
"Why don't you ask your 'wife' to do it with you?" She asked with a little more bite than she intended to, her eyes on John.
Finch pushed his glasses up. "This particular situation calls for someone with a more tender personality; someone who is motherly and warm."
"And there is a chance Zoe has already came across some of these clients. And she doesn't fit the type to want a baby," Carter said as she took in what they were asking, what this meant, what it would and could mean. She smiled at the older man, her eyes softening in his concealed compliment. "Okay, so tell me what this is about; and I mean everything."
"You and Mr. Reese will be posing as a couple with means who can't have the one thing you want desperately. A child," said Finch.
John looked at her carefully, his finger lightly brushing his lips as he listened to Finch explain the situation. He described how this was going to take time, not like their other numbers that were solved within days. This would require them to be cautious and really play the part. They'd have to spend more time together─ something John's been having to track her down to do more of. He'd be lying if he said that he wasn't looking forward to having her around more.
"Obviously I can't be a cop─"
"No, you'll be a respected corporate lawyer," Finch finished for her. "There will be a back story as to how you and Mr. Reese met each other, a client list, and everything to make your life as a successful lawyer believable. You will also be moving into an apartment more suited for a married couple."
"It's also up to you what you'd like to do about Taylor," said John carefully.
Carter looked at him and the concern in his eyes eased a little. "I think I'll tell him what's going on. He's got an internship he's leaving for in a week. He needs to know what I'm getting into."
"If you bring him into the fold, then we will include him in the cover story," said Finch. "If that's what you want."
She wasn't sure how she felt about bringing her baby into all of this, but then maybe having him know what she was doing─ living with John for a good part of summer─ was the right thing to do. There were so many dimensions of her relationship with John and Harold that made very little sense when she tried to put together words to explain it to Taylor. But she decided that she'd sleep on it to be sure.
They finished the meeting soon after, with Finch stating that he will be calling her soon once all the arrangements were done, including hacking in to the NYPD serve to get her some vacation time to do this side work. While she knew they knew about her plans for HR, it was left in the air about what she could do on her own time. When Finch walked away, John lingered.
"So you're saying yes then?"
She smiled at him. "I don't know, John. Ask me properly and I'll let you know." She waited long enough to see the smile in his eyes and then walked away feeling both excited and anxious. Nope, no normal days anymore.
II
John looked at all of the rings on display. Usually Finch thought of all these things, but this time he insisted on going himself. Harold put up no arguments, stating that it will do for a good story if it's ever asked of them. When the young blonde walked over to him shining her pearly whites, he stood straight.
"Good afternoon, sir. See anything you like?" She asked with full on charm.
John smiled at her. "I'm looking for an engagement ring and wedding bands."
She nodded and replied, "Of course." He didn't miss the disappointment in her voice, but he did ignore it. Within moments they walked the small distance to where the beautiful sparkling stones shone from their spotless glass display cases. "Any idea as to what the special lady likes?"
"Simple and elegant," he found himself say. Carter wasn't the kind of woman who needed twenty different kinds of diamonds or something fancy, but he decided that she deserved the best in what she liked.
Amanda, the sales associate that was assisting him, nodded though he could see that she found his answer to be the boring one. He gave her a small smirk, as she pulled out a 3.5 carat oval ring in a thick platinum band with smaller diamonds running down the sides. "What about this one?"
He took the box in which the ring came in and instantly shook his head no. "Princess cut, please." He looked for something that he pictured on Joss' hand; something that would shine and let every man know that she belonged to someone, to him.
He realized that his role in this was going far beyond what he should allow himself. Any ring would do, but this wasn't about any ring. This was about what he'd give to Jocelyn Carter if he was really asking her to share her life with him. His eyes caught one that instantly reminded him of her, a 4 carat princess cut on a slim platinum band. It was simple and elegant. He looked up at Amanda and nodded. "That's the one I want."
Amanda noted that he didn't ask for the price, he simply knew he wanted it. She found herself wondering what kind of woman this man was head over heels for. Who was he so sure of? But those weren't the kind of questions she asked, and even if she did ask cleverly there was no guarantee there would be an answer. So instead she smiled and showed him the wedding bands to go with the tasteful engagement ring. She was curious why he was buying it all now, but once again kept her curiosity to herself to make up theories later.
It took all of fifteen minutes for John to walk out of Harry Winston with the ring he was going to ask Jocelyn Carter to marry him with. He couldn't help but smile; constantly losing the battle with the sober part of his mind reminding him this was all just an act.
Joss wanted to be asked properly and when he asked her, he would be prepared.
II
It was the very next day that Finch called her with a location. Exactly ten minutes later, Finch and John arrived in front of the luxury apartment high rise where she had been waiting. After exchanging brief pleasantries, they were in the elevator, the button pressed to the penthouse. She wondered if an elevator ride could ever be so strangely nerve-wrecking.
When Carter walked into the apartment that was to be her cover home she wasn't surprised. Finch outdid himself as always. They had the penthouse of course, five bedrooms, six and half baths, a laundry room, a wine room, and a balcony. The kitchen was something out of a luxury magazine. Soft neutral tiles, white cabinets, antique shelves, and titanium appliances. She wasn't surprised that she could see the vast green of Central Park out of her glass walls.
She couldn't believe this was going to be her home for however long she was going to be undercover, trying to find the babies and the culprit. Finch walked in as she was taking it all in. "I hope everything is to your liking," he said as he stepped up next to her.
"It will do. How much did you drop for this place?" She asked taking in the view they would have from almost every room.
"I've had this place for a while, but now it will be put to some use." His answer was clipped and vague as usual, but then he added, "$12.5 million."
She was going to live in an apartment that cost $12.5 million. Sometimes her life seemed surreal when she thought about it. It has been since that night she met John.
Carter raised her brow at the walk-in closet that was full of clothes, shoes, and accessories that were not hers. Everything was designer and tailor made for her─ even the shoes were the right size. Of course she didn't think that it'd be hard for Finch to find out what her shoe size was; he probably got the information from John. She knew of two times John had broken into her place. Who knew how many other times he did? She wouldn't put it past the two of them to break in just so they can find out her shoe size.
"Finch likes to be thorough," John said, leaning against the door panel.
She turned to him with an amused look on her face, the smile fighting to break out. She figured that Finch and John both did a lot of undercover work to speed along results. The two of them had more means than the NYPD at times. "Oh?" She asked curiously.
John smiled, "when I went into Wall Street the first time working with him, he actually tailored my suit. That matters in Wall Street."
She chuckled, as she looked at the vanity which already consisted of all of her preferred beauty items. She picked up the bottle of jasmine body lotion from Fresh. "He thinks of everything."
"I bet you there is underwear as well..." said John with a grin as he turned to walk away, but not before catching her eyes widen. He didn't share with her, that he may have had a hand in what she was now her wardrobe.
Finch stared Carter down with the same intensity that was in her eyes. "Well Detective, or rather Jocelyn, you aren't a detective for this role. You will be a junior partner at a prestigious law firm so you will need the attire to compliment that, as well as the fact that you are married to a man whose net worth is $25.5 million."
"Okay fine, but did you have to pick out my underwear?" She asked, hating the fact that she was holding up the red lace teddy and her cheeks were starting to feel like they matched the color of the flimsy material dangling from her fingers.
John stayed out of it, but his mind couldn't help the idea of seeing Carter in it.
"I'm sorry, Jocelyn. Maybe I went too far with the undergarments, but we are trying to build a persona. I just supposed that is all." Finch finally buckled.
"Thank you. I appreciate the lengths in which you are going to stop these people. I do," she said finally folding up the lingerie. "Next time I'll pick the undies. Thank you."
"Yes of course, next time," Finch said giving a curt nod before heading back to the kitchen where they apparently set up base.
She smiled at his retrieving back and shook her head lightly before following. He pulled out his laptop and mostly muttered details to himself. She noticed John standing by one of the windows and walked over to him.
"Nice view, huh?"
"Yeah, a lot of light," he answered.
"Too much?" She asked.
He turned to her then, the sun light from the early summer morning illuminating her, and he shook his head lightly. "No, it's just right."
She smiled up at him and then turned back to the scenery. At that moment they both realized this was going to be their 'home'. A place where they'd have to pretend to be married, to be in love, and to be partners─ two people who vowed to trust each other through the best and worst of times. The weight of it hit them like a ton bricks.
"As I learned from some more digging, Cybele runs very thorough background checks on their clients. They virtually spy on every candidate before they decide to match the clients wants with a suitable donor. Of course if we're right then these donors are unaware that their children are being stolen from them, but as of yet we have no proof if Mr. and Miss Bradford are actually perpetrators. They could very well be victims as well." Finch's voice brought them back to the present.
"So what you're saying is that we should be prepared for them to dig deep, possible home invasion, etc.?" asked Carter.
"It would seem that way. Each case they took on, they employed a private detective company looking to look into every aspect of their clients' lives. It would appear they take placing children in the right home quite seriously."
"Basically we can't break character for very long," said John.
Finch pushed his glasses up and looked at them both. "You are both highly trained. I'm sure you can handle it, but what you must be cautious about is being here. Every little detail matters," he said as his eyes landed on Carter's hand resting on the countertop. "Such as the fact that Jocelyn still doesn't have a ring."
Carter looked at her hand then at John. "You got something for me?"
He nodded but the look in his eyes told her to wait, to which she nodded back. Finch acknowledged the gesture and dropped the matter moving on to other details.
II
She met him at Carl Schurz Park like he had asked. It was almost sunset as she set on the bench watching the bridge to Randall's Island draw up in the distance. The breeze blew warm summer air towards her, the water bringing that saltiness into her senses. She had driven Taylor to the airport earlier that morning for his internship, after disclosing everything to him. It was amazing how the week flew by between her spying on HR and planning for this undercover work. She closed her eyes and felt him sit down next to her just a few seconds later.
"Looking for someone?"
She opened her eyes and with a smile answered, "No one in particular."
He hummed and sat quietly beside her for a few moments. "You can still back out."
"No going back with this."
She turned to him them, turning her body fully to face him. "Nervous, John?"
He saw the humor in her eyes, the sparkle teasing him. He smiled and replied, "Well last time I didn't have to try so hard."
She shrugged. "Sorry. If you want this, you gotta work for it."
He took her hand instantly shocking her, her eyes locking with his, a small gasp escaping her like the night she was running from Ian─ only this was more breathless. He ran his thumb over her knuckles. "Gotta get used to this Joss, you can't be shocked every time I touch you."
"I'm not─ I wasn't," she mumbled, but she didn't finish when he fished out the black leather bound box with the initials H.W. on it. She was a fashion aware woman and her eyes grew wide when she realized what was happening. It was all pretend yet the implication still created warm feelings all through her body. "John..."
"Jocelyn Carter will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" He asked looking into her eyes as serious as he would if he was asking for real.
She sat there speechless. She'd been mostly teasing about asking her the right way, but now she actually felt tears prick her eyes, which she blinked away and nodded. "Yes."
While it was all meant to be an act she couldn't believe it was happening, that she was sitting here watching John Reese put what she estimated to be a quarter million dollar Harry Winston ring on her finger and it was perfect. The ring, the setting, and even the way he asked was their kind of perfect, all except it wasn't real.
It wasn't real.
She cleared her throat and nodded. "Nice ring, John. Did Harold pick it out?"
John's lips curved into a smile. "No. This was all me, now you get to ring me," he said holding the two silver bands in his palm out to her.
"Wedding bands… of course," she said chuckling softly as she picked up one of the bands and took his hand into hers. Her eyes never left his as she slipped the ring on his left finger and his eyes never left hers when he slipped the band on her finger, matching perfectly with the engagement ring. There was a tension in the air and suddenly she didn't know if she could do this, if she had it in her to touch him and say it was all pretend.
The last time she had done this it was in front of all of her family, friends, and God. The last time it was real and she thought it would be the last. Exchanging rings with John was a sudden, jolting reminder of Taylor's father, of how she lost him. How her heart broke after and how the only thing that kept her going was Taylor. But no matter how many times she told herself this wasn't real, her heart continued to race. She felt like she couldn't breathe from the weight moving over her.
She was suffocating from fear.
Fear of revealing more of herself to John and not getting enough of him back. Fear that this fake marriage will take more from her than the first real one she had. Fear that the concern that she saw in his eyes, the affection that gave him away, would be her undoing. She questioned her feelings for John over and over through the past year. She wondered why she never could say no to him, why she kept going back to him even after all the ways he's disappointed her. But he forgave her for her betrayals. He constantly sought her out; made sure from a distance she was okay.
Riker's changed everything. That hallway changed everything. That was when she realized for the first time what he meant to her. After all these years of feeling alone and only holding on Taylor, she finally had someone else she slowly let herself count on. Not only to have her back, but to make her smile, and to have a coffee with at odd hours of the night. John brought back purpose to her life, a purpose that was shared but also all her own. He brought back excitement and looking at the bigger picture; an awareness that she wanted someone to hold her after a hard case.
The pride she took in her inner wall of strength didn't stand a chance with the wrecking ball that is John Reese, and she didn't know if after this case was done if she could shake off what it feels like to have his fingers brush her skin as if she was most delicate thing in the world. To share a bed with him and not miss him when she went back to her real one. She didn't want to think about kissing him because she was a professional, they were friends, and he had Zoe.
He saw her eyes close off; the few moments of silence bought him a window into her emotions. Her eyes usually expressed the things she felt before she voiced them, but lately both her eyes and lips were closed to him. For that brief moment, while they were alone together on the bench, the old Carter was back; the one who was open and shared things with him. He was disappointed when she returned to the Carter of late and decided this was this best opportunity to get her to open up to him again─ to trust him again.
Thankfully, it was John who broke the silence. "Ready to head home, Mrs. Reese?"
She nodded and ignored the way her heart skipped a beat at his slip. They had decided to go with his cover name of John Warren, but he'd said Reese. They didn't hold hands but their shoulders brushed occasionally as they walked from the park to their new home. Tomorrow would be their very first appointment with Cybele, where they'd have to convince the brother sister duo that they were worthy of a child. Carter felt that excited anxiousness again while chanting, it's not real. It's not real. It's not real.
II
This was it, the first night in their amazingly beautiful apartment as a married couple. Sometimes she wished she had gone home instead of doing the extra paperwork she had the night they brought in John Reese. Then she wouldn't be standing in a white slip with a silk robe trying to figure out how they were going to get through the night sharing a bed that was supposed to be theirs, all while she felt his heated gaze on every bit of skin waiting for her.
'It's not real.'
TBC
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