WARNING: The following is crack, in no way associated with the characters and/or setting of High School Musical. You have been warned. Lyrics © Phil Collins.

IN WHICH A School Reluctantly Goes Musical

I narrowed my eyes and glanced around the library suspiciously, thinking I'd finally gone crazy as the typical High School chatter died out into….steady drum riffs?

Oh god, not again, I groaned inwardly, feeling the music pull at me when two kids I'd never seen before in my life walked in jubilantly. The boy—wearing utterly cliché skater clothes—gave I wide gesture to the room as he sang.

There's nothing complicated about the way we live

We're all here for each other, happy to give

Proud of who we are

Humbled beneath the stars

And somehow—through logic I've honestly just learned to accept—the room expanded, offering a space big enough to move comfortably despite the once-occupied computers still obviously in the way. Said former occupants were now lined up behind the Singing Skater Boy and his obviously-in-awe friend, whom I had yet to be able to see because of the line of unwilling background dancers.

Singing Skater Boy continued, now adding in a few of the dance moves provided by said unwilling background dancers.

We've everything we need

The moon and the sun

There is more than enough here

For everyone

All we have we share

And all of us we care

So come on

Ah—there it was. Despite my mental protests of oh dear god or whoever the hell makes up this shit, NO I felt my feet carry me around, manga still in hand as I once more played the part of Background Nerd in the line of Background Dancers.

This one was elaborate—even the Librarians were stuck in this one.

But then again, knowing Miss Jane, she was having a blast with it.

Welcome to our family time

Welcome to our brotherly time

We're happy, giving and taking

To the friends we're making

There's nothing we won't do

Ha, I noted dryly, At least I'm not the only one stuck doing this shit. Indeed, my friend Rachel had just returned from the bathroom and found herself stuck in formation next to me. We shared a mutual loathing glance, trapped in smiling faces and dancing bodies as the chorus continued a few more times.

Welcome to our family time

Welcome to our Happy To Be time

This is the festival

You know it best of all

We're here to share it all

Welcome to our family time

Welcome to our brotherly time

We're happy, giving and taking

To the friends we're making

There's nothing we won't do

Welcome to our family time

Welcome to our Happy to Be time

This is the festival

You know it best of all

We're here to share it

We're here to share it all!

I groaned as I regained control of my body, wincing as I pulled myself out of the splits. "I swear, if I ever find who made High School Musical, I'm going to kill 'em." Rachel growled as she flopped into her seat, library once more normal as the Singing Skater Boy showed his friend around.

I cracked my back, "I hear ya, there. I'm not so sure I can take much more of this…"