Here's the thing. You can't go around and claim as if you own the world, making others kneel before you, killing for the sake of another that you love…and hope, in the end, that they'll return to you. That's not the way the world works…no matter how much power you have, no matter how much you think you've gained in the coming years…it'll all be for not.

But why? You may ask…well…simple. It's for personal gain. No matter if you live within the Wiccan confines of those Laws, it just cannot be. The world owes you nothing…the people around you owe you nothing. No matter what pain you may be in…never think for a second, that destroying one life may gain another.

You wish to see her again…but alas, it cannot be. Everything happens for a reason, as you said…did you not? So why turn back time, why attempt to right the wrong when no wrong was done? In your eyes, it may seem as if the most inexcusable sin has been committed, and that you must find your light again. But you kill in the name of your beloved. You kill with her name on your lips. To say that this is for her…that this must be done.

Say you do succeed in bringing her back…how will she feel, knowing that you have shed blood in her name? That you now hold her with those bloodstained hands? That the same inexcusable crime committed by the one before—you have done yourself. Can you really say that you are better than them? That you are above them? Why? Because your goal was higher, better, more meaningful? The Universe doesn't care what your Ultimate Goal is. Even if you get so far as performing the actual ritual, you know it'll fail, as she's been telling you all that time. You don't believe her…how could you? Everything you do, every action, every spell, every curse, is all so you can see her again.

Now look at the end result. Was it worth it? Was it really worth your time, your energy…your soul, to see her fall within your grasp? To extend each other's hands, inches…centimeters away…and feel nothing instead? To see her there and blink…only to find her gone?

Now you have nothing but a photo. A photo and broken memories. You tell yourself that you want to stay lost in the memories, that those were happier times…but if anything…it's worse, isn't it? Because every time you ride up the beginning of that roller coaster of a memory, you see the fall, and it's steeper than before. After awaking, getting yanked away by the memories of could be's and should be's, you feel worse than before.

You claw at your heart, screaming for the pain to stop. You cry until there are no more tears, but the pain is still there. Everything revolves around that pain…that damned pain that you know only she can stop. You lay in your bed, aching, pleading to feel her arms around you, to caress your arm and tell you that you're safe. That she's there with you…and the pain will stop.

Those hopes never come, as the pain never ends. It dulls some days…and others it rages on, threatening to swallow you whole…but it never comes. Some days you beg for Death to come and take you…but that is not your call. You're terrified that if you do it yourself, you may never see her again, even in the Netherworld…and so you stay. Trapped in the world of the Living, riding out your life day by day, hour by hour. You're not really even living though…are you? You're existing. You wonder what she's doing, if she's okay…you're sure she is, but what else can you think about? Anything else and you lose focus, you just…don't care. What will become of your life? All you can do is continue living, and pray that when you breathe your last breath, that you will close your eyes, and when you open them again, see your beloved standing before you once more.

After all, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it.